I.Dup. Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 My dh's parents and brother are coming in to town this weekend. They only do this once every 5 years or so, so it's kindof freaking me out a little bit. How much cleaning do you do before family that lives far away comes into town? Our house is kept up with daily chores and such, and I'm going to deep clean on top of that, but I'm wondering how far I should go in scrubbing the walls and picking up every piece of fuzz off the floor? My mother-in-law is cleaning obsessed and with lots of young children in this house, I don't want her to be shocked. Sometimes I wonder if I'm desensitized or if our house is normal? Also, she mentioned to my dd over email that she was bringing presents for everyone. Should I go out and get presents for all of them? Would that be a nice thing to do? If so, what should I get?? Also, my MIL has cancer and just discovered it has spread again to 2 new places. :( I sent her a care package several months ago when she started chemo, but have not gotten her anything since. Should I get her something? She is on a special diet that includes mainly juice and fruits and vegetables. I tried asking her what kinds of things she wanted me to have around and she really didn't help me out at all. She said she wants to go grocery shopping when she gets here. We have "normal" fruits and veggies here- apples, bananas, lettuce mix, etc. Should I stock up on extra stuff? I'm so socially awkward! Thanks for any help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Don't get presents for everyone. Just get something for MIL due to her situation and your love for her. Opening your home is enough of a gift for the rest of the family. No presents will be expected from you. Don't scrub the walls and pick up every piece of fuzz. Do normal cleaning and let the rest go. Buy your normal fruits and veggies and let MIL go shopping for what she wants. Go with her if you like. She wants to do her own shopping, and that is okay. You have offered out of kindness, and she has made her wishes known that she wants to do it herself so it is okay to accept this. I hope your visit goes well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Don't get presents for everyone. Just get something for MIL due to her situation and your love for her. Opening your home is enough of a gift for the rest of the family. No presents will be expected from you. Don't scrub the walls and pick up every piece of fuzz. Do normal cleaning and let the rest go. Buy your normal fruits and veggies and let MIL go shopping for what she wants. Go with her if you like. She wants to do her own shopping, and that is okay. You have offered out of kindness, and she has made her wishes known that she wants to do it herself so it is okay to accept this. I hope your visit goes well! Thank you! What kind of thing should I get for her? She loves home improvement and not much else, so she's hard to shop for. She does like Bath and Body Works, but I know she's picky regarding fragrances (and everything, actually!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 My dh's parents and brother are coming in to town this weekend. They only do this once every 5 years or so, so it's kindof freaking me out a little bit. How much cleaning do you do before family that lives far away comes into town? Our house is kept up with daily chores and such, and I'm going to deep clean on top of that, but I'm wondering how far I should go in scrubbing the walls and picking up every piece of fuzz off the floor? I just make sure the house meets my average standards, so that there aren't any areas that have slipped. My average standards are pretty basic. I have family coming over this weekend, including a toddler, so I'll be making sure that the floor is bit-free and moving some ornaments. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 We frequently have out of town guests. I clean thoroughly and make sure the bedroom and bath guests will use are well appointed with handsoap, kleenex, towels, wash cloths, extra hangers, etc. I check with them when they arrive to make sure they have everything they need. I try to plan meals ahead of time so I am not stressing over that. If MIL wants to do some shopping and is up to it, let her. DOn't worry about cleaning every little thing. You have children, you live there, nuff said. Gifts. It is very appropriate for guests to come bearing gifts for the hostess after all you just cleaned your house and bought food to feed them! Grandparents will show up with gifts for the grands. I do! I woulnd't stress over a gift for you MIL unless there is something you really want to get her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Thank you! What kind of thing should I get for her? She loves home improvement and not much else, so she's hard to shop for. She does like Bath and Body Works, but I know she's picky regarding fragrances (and everything, actually!) Can you ask FIL or one of her daughters? (If she had daughters or a dh.) I would try to find out what fragrance she likes and then get some Bath and Body Works stuff for her. Surely someone local can sneak into her bathroom and take a peak at what is in there. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Can you ask FIL or one of her daughters? (If she had daughters or a dh.) I would try to find out what fragrance she likes and then get some Bath and Body Works stuff for her. Surely someone local can sneak into her bathroom and take a peak at what is in there. lol No daughters, dh and BIL are her only sons and they don't see each other often. I will have dh ask his Dad for an idea. Thank you all! The only out of town guests we host on a semi-regular basis are my parents, and they are wonderful and understanding so it freaks me out a bit to host dh's family (also wonderful, just more uppity if you know what I mean) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songsparrow Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Instead of presents, perhaps having something in their rooms to greet them when they arrive - either in your house, if they're staying with you, or at their hotel. Possibilities include a card saying how happy you are that their visiting, plus fresh flowers, snacks (chocolates, nuts), fresh fruit, drinks (sparking water, wine), nice soaps or lotions, etc. ETA: And if your MIL is currently battling cancer, I would be very careful with any types of fragrances, as they might bother her. I'd go with unscented or naturally scented (e.g., honey) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 My dh's parents and brother are coming in to town this weekend. They only do this once every 5 years or so, so it's kindof freaking me out a little bit. How much cleaning do you do before family that lives far away comes into town? Our house is kept up with daily chores and such, and I'm going to deep clean on top of that, but I'm wondering how far I should go in scrubbing the walls and picking up every piece of fuzz off the floor? My mother-in-law is cleaning obsessed and with lots of young children in this house, I don't want her to be shocked. Sometimes I wonder if I'm desensitized or if our house is normal? Also, she mentioned to my dd over email that she was bringing presents for everyone. Should I go out and get presents for all of them? Would that be a nice thing to do? If so, what should I get?? Also, my MIL has cancer and just discovered it has spread again to 2 new places. :( I sent her a care package several months ago when she started chemo, but have not gotten her anything since. Should I get her something? She is on a special diet that includes mainly juice and fruits and vegetables. I tried asking her what kinds of things she wanted me to have around and she really didn't help me out at all. She said she wants to go grocery shopping when she gets here. We have "normal" fruits and veggies here- apples, bananas, lettuce mix, etc. Should I stock up on extra stuff? I'm so socially awkward! Thanks for any help. Yes, deep clean. You will still feel insecure, but at least you'll know you did your best. I wouldn't buy formal presents, but I would leave some nice things in the room to pamper them. Tea? Fruit? Beeswax or soy candles? Chocolate? She wants to go grocery shopping because she knows no one else knows how to maintain her diet. Frankly, it's just easier for her to do it herself rather than try to train you, even if you are willing and happy to help. Make sure you have plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables on hand, and then let her do what she needs to do. It's not about you at all--it's about her needing to continue the diet she has in place and has perfected for herself. Tell her you love her (often) and just go with the flow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Thank you, great ideas! They will be staying at a hotel. She does like tea, that's another great idea. Hmmm, not sure how to set this up or if we will be able to go to their hotel to put gifts there beforehand? Maybe I will just get a small gift bag and put a few things in there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 She just said she likes a "mild sweet white wine"...any suggestions? I know nothing about wine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songsparrow Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 If you have a good quality wine store near your home, just go in and give them your MIL's description of the type of wine she likes and they should be able to make some recommendations at various price points. If you're getting wine, you might also want to include 2 inexpensive wine glasses (check out the dollar store or Target). As for leaving stuff at the hotel, if you speak with the manager he or she should be able to arrange to have the items put in your in-laws room for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 My mom keeps a perfect house with little effort....I do not. I make sure I vacuum well, straighten everything up, brush and wash the dogs if they are a little ripe, wipe the worst of the handprints off the walls in the hallway, and then give the kitchen and bathrooms a really good once over the night or morning before they come, and totally change out cat litter as close as possible to their arrival. I might also dust if I have been slacking on that chore. I clean with Vinegar or just soapy water and microfiber, especially before they come because my dad is very sensitive to smells. My two favorite mild sweet white wines are Kung Fu Girl and Firestone Rieslings. Both are reasonably priced and not syrupy like some Riesling, but still sweet and light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saraswati Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 If she enjoys tea, a pretty mug and a some packs of her favorite type of tea for her to enjoy at the hotel might make a lovely little gift. They have mugs that the kids could decorate at craft shops like Hobby Lobby and Michaels, if she enjoys things like that. My parents love anything my kids make for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I like the idea of a welcome gift bag. If you go with tea, I like Stash or Tazo. As for a mild, sweet wine, try either a moscato or a riesling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I usually make a gift bag for family that stays in a hotel. It has tea bags, favorite coffee, a few snacks. Most stay with us. I just try to make things easy and accessible to them. I do find out ahead time about favorite drinks and food issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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