How do you find a place to rent when you can't come up with 1st, last and security?

[BlueTaelon]

I am feeling really fustrated, we have to be out of my parents house no later then August and everything I see says "1st, last and security". I can't even come up with 1st and security which is what I'm used to but in this state they want all 3! I'm only working part time, my hours vary from week to week. I'm looking for a full time job with regular hours but in the mean time I'm doing what I can. Were staying with my parents and saying its stressful doesn't even begin to cover it and we need to get out of here plus they gave me a dead line of August as they feel 3 months is more then enough time to get on my feet. Lets see, single mom, 2 kids, no support, no sitter and did I mention I've been out of the workforce for 9 years and I need a low stress desk job? This week work has me scheduled for 28 hours but that can change quickly based on need. Everything is so $$$$ here and I'm spending everything were getting on basics. The only aid we get is food stamps and medicaid, don't quailfy for cash aid because I make more then $309 a month. (who the heck can live on that anyway?!) I'm bringing home about $900 in cash total this month plus $521 in FS (we just got those, I was paying cash before and food is 3-6x more $$ here, trying to get a container garden going to help costs), I'm used to rent taking 50-80% of my income and I have a perfect rental history with the exception of owing the last place $127 for carpet cleaning which I refuse to pay as the place was FILTHY when I moved in and I told them the carpets were not properly cleaned and proved it when the white towel came off the floor black. I was told not to worry about it during the final walk though as the place was dirty when I moved in. It was the company owner who said no you have to pay as we showed they were cleaned before you moved in. Its fustrating. I've always used the same property management company and had no problem renting from them due to perfect payments (I did have to have a co-signer way back in the beginning since I didn't make 3x the rent but by the 3rd year they said don't worry about it). How do I do this? Can I offer to pay the security deposit in payments? Whats reasonable?  why do they require last months rent? Thats what 30 day notices are for and you pay the rent like always. (its illegal where I'm from to require all 3 so its a shock to see it here)

[Sisyphus]

Can you get a word of mouth type situation to rent? A friend, acquaintance, relative type deal where they know you? Or maybe ask a church for help (you don't have to be a member) to get the word out you are looking for an affordable rental option? How about public housing- though I think the wait lists are astronomically long for that.

 

Craigslist posting explaining your situation? Renting a basement or room from someone informally?

 

I'm so sorry you are in this situation!

[Mergath]

Some landlords will let you make payments on the first/last/security, if you're reliable and have a steady income.  It can't hurt to call and ask.

 

If that doesn't pan out, call social services and other aid groups in your area.  Tell them you're going to be homeless in August and ask them what resources they have for homeless families.

 

:grouphug:

[Arcadia]

Do you have subsidised rental (service apartments) near to you? We look at those when we came to California and just miss income qualifying. These are not section 8 housing so the waitlist is very short or no waitlist. They are more affordable than rental (comparing same zipcode) and require less deposit.

We had to show a letter from hubby's HR to get a rental apartment by paying security deposit and one month. Else we would have to pay three months worth of rent.

[Tap]

1st, last and security is very common.

 

It covers, well obviously the rent for the 1st month you plan to be there

Security to cover wear and tear, plus basic damage done when someone is moving in/out (always something) and accidents that occur while someone resides in the home. 

Last month is to prevent financial loss to the landlord if a renter leaves in the middle of the night without giving/completing a 30 day notice.

 

Yes, there are landlords who will give you some wiggle room, but not many.  Often, they are found through a family friend or some other connection where someone who knows the renter can vouch for them.

 

Maybe it isn't common where you are from, but honestly that just means you were paying a bit extra rent each month to cover that risk factor for the landlord.  People skip out on rentals all the time, it isn't right, but they do do it.

 

Sorry, no ideas for help.  Maybe the state has a program to help people in your circumstance?  Church? Does the company that you used to rent from have any options in your state?

 

 

 

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

Do you possibly qualify for Section 1 or Section 8 housing assistance from HUD?  I know there can be a waiting list so you want to apply now even if it won't come thru by August 1.

 

I think you have to sit down with your parents and show them the apartment listings and explain the problem.  If they really want you out by August 1, then they may need to help you come up with 1st/Last/Security.  We had to borrow security deposit from DH's mom in order to rent our first place, but we paid it back in small amounts each month.

[LucyStoner]

You do not have the income to afford a place of your own.  Working fulltime, you would still not have the income to afford a place of your own, unless just barely in a LCOL area.  You need to contact social services agencies about family transitional housing, subsidized housing and shelter programs.  Ultimately you either need a subsidized apartment or a much higher income.  I'd start thinking about a short term (get whatever help you can) and a long term plan (education or other way to increase income).  Some landlords will be flexible with you and let you make payments towards the deposit and last month's rent.  But in the long term you are better served by something that is sustainably affordable to you, not by relying on finding a flexible landlord.  Especially because such rentals tend to be the sketchiest locations and conditions with the sketchiest neighbors.  

 

If there are no services in your area that you can access by August, I'd discuss it with your parents and seeing what you can do to make the situation more tenable for all of you in a somewhat longer term while you wait out waiting lists.  Perhaps pay them some rent and arrange to be in charge of certain chores?  Or set up a specific savings or educational plan with them to show that you are working towards self sufficiency.     

[LucyStoner]

Craigslist posting explaining your situation? Renting a basement or room from someone informally?

 

 

 

Postings like that on craigslist are a great way to be targeted by scammers or creeps.  Contact legitimate social services agencies to see whatever is available.  

[StephanieZ]

I agree that you would benefit from contacting social services. I'd look for subsidized housing, rent assistance, etc. I'd call every service you can find to call and take advantage of anything you qualify for. You are doing what you can to help yourself, and it isn't enough. You are exactly who I pay taxes to help. Please take the help. You and your kids need safe housing. You need a hand. Go get it! Post what state/county you are in and we can all help you google up numbers to call. (((hugs)))

[BlueTaelon]

You do not have the income to afford a place of your own.  Working fulltime, you would barely have the income to afford a place of your own.  You need to contact social services agencies about family transitional housing, subsidized housing and shelter programs.  Ultimately you either need a subsidized apartment or a much higher income.  I'd start thinking about a short term (get whatever help you can) and a long term plan (education or other way to increase income).  Some landlords will be flexible with you and let you make payments towards the deposit and last month's rent.  But in the long term you are better served by something that is sustainably affordable to you, not by relying on finding a flexible landlord.  Especially because such rentals tend to be the sketchiest locations and conditions with the sketchiest neighbors.  

 

If there are no services in your area that you can access by August, I'd discuss it with your parents and seeing what you can do to make the situation more tenable for all of you in a somewhat longer term while you wait out waiting lists.  Perhaps pay them some rent and arrange to be in charge of certain chores?  Or set up a specific savings or educational plan with them to show that you are working towards self sufficiency.

We've already done that with my parents and we really need to get out, I'm spending more money here when I would in our own place buying premade gluten free and convenience item and the stress is pretty severe. All of us have a metabolic disorder and stress is bad news for us, it will literally cripple us and I feel myself getting to that point. Today is a really bad day and I feel like I'm ready to fall apart:( My ability to function depends on some key things like sleep and I'm not getting enough and sleeping in to 8am (on non work days) gets me yelled at, I don't like repeatedly being told I'm white trash because I slept in (he expects me up at 5am and ready to go right away and I am not a morning person) or left some thing out on the counter (meds, cup, what ever) or how horrible a mother I am because my children are not perfect in every way and I can't cook 3 course meals 3 times a day and keep up with the dishes by hand (not allowed to use the dishwasher except for dishes and silverware, no pots/pans/cookware. I get berated if I let the kids have cereal for breakfast with something for protein. My step father honestly believes all women should be like June Cleaver and constantly goes on about how his EX wives all kept an immaculate house at all times and had huge multi-course meals on the table 3 times a day as he expected (which my mother can not handle health wise) and his kids were perfect except one and he's just a loser (his words). I can't help but notice they are all EX wives and his kids won't talk to him. He's also a fundamentalist in his religious beliefs which brings its own set of issues. I'm not even allowed to tell people we are related or who my parents are they are so ashamed that I am 37, have no husband and 2 children and that I should take the first man who will have me. The man is unreasonable, if I had known he was like this before we moved in we would have stayed in CA. Even though in the long term I think this will be good for us. I am just frustrated and having a bad day. I'm not usually this bad but its piling up and he was demanding to know when we are moving out this morning because he was mad I left the crockpot (which I planned to use this morning) and produce on the counter last night and can't seem to remember every time I have to explain where what little income I've gotten so far went (which makes me feel like crap having to explain every penny and he has no concept of prices and acts like he doesn't believe me) and why we don't have every penny saved up (I would love to stop spending money but the car needs gas, I need work clothes, insurance doesn't cover our treatment so its out of pocket) so we can get a place right away and I don't have perfect credit which is also a problem. Years of being ill and having sick kids and being stuck on welfare will do that to you:( I think things will be fine but we need to get OUT, I had a chance at the low income apts but turned them down since its an hour and a half away from work and where all the jobs are. I also worry about getting stuck in a low income neighborhood again, I don't get why low income = drugs and crime, I may be poor as heck but I've never turned to drugs, I've never robbed a neighbor and I don't drink and throw parties yet these are all daily things that happen there. I mean am I an anomaly to be poor and not doing these things? I grew up middle class and there is a huge difference in life styles.

[Eagle]

:grouphug: Your post breaks my heart. It must be horrible to endure those comments daily. I don't have advice beyond what others suggested, but wanted to give you a hug.

[Just Kate]

:grouphug: Your post breaks my heart. It must be horrible to endure those comments daily. I don't have advice beyond what others suggested, but wanted to give you a hug.

Same here. ((Hugs))

[Crimson Wife]

If any of your kids are on SSI for disability I think there is a way to get priority for housing assistance (not 100% sure on that but definitely check).

 

For work clothes, check Dress for Success http://www.dressforsuccess.org/locations.aspx

 

My smilies aren't working at the moment but {{{hugs}}}

[tex-mex]

Anyway to get a local realtor to help you find a roomate?  They will take the first months rent you pay to the landlord (along with a deposit & last month) as their finder's fee.  But it should be at least 1/2 of what you may pay living on your own.  Another thought is that your state should be paying for the children's medical foods (if it is for them via doctor's prescription) and that should save you a lot of $$. 

 

Worse case scenario is to look at your nearest Women's Shelter for assistance.  They usually run a program for work training and you and your kids have to live on site for a period of time.  Once you graduate from the program, you then can find a roomate (another homeless woman w/family) who graduated from the same program... and share an apartment together.  My niece's ex is in prison for battering her -- and she is doing this program in another state.  She is on SSI with 2 kids and her new roomate is wonderful!

[BlueTaelon]

If any of your kids are on SSI for disability I think there is a way to get priority for housing assistance (not 100% sure on that but definitely check).

 

For work clothes, check Dress for Success http://www.dressforsuccess.org/locations.aspx

 

My smilies aren't working at the moment but {{{hugs}}}

My oldest gets SSI and I did check into it but it doesn't help priority. I did get 3 pairs of pants and 5 shirts for work though the local WTW program a few days ago which really helped but I came into the program with a job and had to buy clothes before that but hadn't even gotten my 1st paycheck which was a whopping $81 last week:) I had to fight to get into the program, they saw I had a disabled child and automatically disqualified me from having to participate, here getting FS means you have to work 32 hours a week or make something like $218 week through employment. My worker seems pretty good, she gave me leads on 2 places to apply for across the state line (min wage is like $2hr higher there) that pays a couple dollars above min wage so it sounds like $12-13 hr. Anyway, my parents got pissed that I didn't pay them rent ($500) last month since they hit me with an almost $200 utility bill (paying to heat their huge house for 3 months when we were not even here! and to run the heat lamps for all the baby animals, chickens, pigs, turkeys) and I couldn't afford food, meds, the utility bill and rent. Food and meds are not negotiable. They reported it to SSI who promptly cut the payment saying I wasn't paying my fare share in rent, I doubt my mom mentioned the $200 I did pay or the fact I'm buying food for them, I've NEVER had a bill over $50 for gas and electric combined! I pay more here for rent/utilities then I did in CA living on my own. It shouldn't be my problem they bought a big 4 bedroom house and a farm. This was supposed to help us get into a better position, instead its knocked us further back then where we started from and with less money. It sounds like the SSI amount will be enough to cover rent once were on our own and it goes back up but its the getting there were having the problem with. I got the number for the guy who helps with housing, will call him tomorrow.

[NicAnn]

Have you looked into coabode? It's a site for single mothers to connect for housing.

[AK_Mom4]

I am so sorry.  That sounds horrible.  Maybe you are in a bad enough situation where the women's shelter is a good option?  You would qualify here as "homeless" too because you are doubling up with relatives.  I hope that you can find someone to help with this.

[*Michelle*]

Have you tried Catholic Charities?  They will help with deposits.  You don't have to be Catholic.

[FaithManor]

Check your county for a family shelter. Ours has one that is run with both public monies and donations. It's a lovely place...a huge old Victorian that was subdivided into small two room apartments and a massive common kitchen area. There are two full bathrooms and one half bath on every floor. It has police guard for those parents/spouses hiding out from predators, and social services helps everyone find transition housing help. Some of the single parents find room mates from amongst the families living there which helps everyone out immensely with the sharing of rent.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug: Faith

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I apologize if this was said already...

 

Section 8 housing does not require one to be a resident of that county or state (at least not all counties). If you can afford (and are willing), check out rural housing authorities all over. A few years ago, Potter county in PA had only a 4 month wait. I realize you have to be out soon, but maybe you can find a temporary and get in with housing.

 

Not being a resident will push your priority down, but income level and SSI can push it back up.

[MomtoCandJ]

We have always found ours by word of mouth. Also check for section 8 rentals, we didn't have section 8 funding but was able to find rentals approved by them. Often times those landlords will work with you regarding deposits and such since they won't have to deal with the paper work.

[Retired]

We've already done that with my parents and we really need to get out, I'm spending more money here when I would in our own place buying premade gluten free and convenience item and the stress is pretty severe. All of us have a metabolic disorder and stress is bad news for us, it will literally cripple us and I feel myself getting to that point. Today is a really bad day and I feel like I'm ready to fall apart:( My ability to function depends on some key things like sleep and I'm not getting enough and sleeping in to 8am (on non work days) gets me yelled at, I don't like repeatedly being told I'm white trash because I slept in (he expects me up at 5am and ready to go right away and I am not a morning person) or left some thing out on the counter (meds, cup, what ever) or how horrible a mother I am because my children are not perfect in every way and I can't cook 3 course meals 3 times a day and keep up with the dishes by hand (not allowed to use the dishwasher except for dishes and silverware, no pots/pans/cookware. I get berated if I let the kids have cereal for breakfast with something for protein. My step father honestly believes all women should be like June Cleaver and constantly goes on about how his EX wives all kept an immaculate house at all times and had huge multi-course meals on the table 3 times a day as he expected (which my mother can not handle health wise) and his kids were perfect except one and he's just a loser (his words). I can't help but notice they are all EX wives and his kids won't talk to him. He's also a fundamentalist in his religious beliefs which brings its own set of issues. I'm not even allowed to tell people we are related or who my parents are they are so ashamed that I am 37, have no husband and 2 children and that I should take the first man who will have me. The man is unreasonable, if I had known he was like this before we moved in we would have stayed in CA. Even though in the long term I think this will be good for us. I am just frustrated and having a bad day. I'm not usually this bad but its piling up and he was demanding to know when we are moving out this morning because he was mad I left the crockpot (which I planned to use this morning) and produce on the counter last night and can't seem to remember every time I have to explain where what little income I've gotten so far went (which makes me feel like crap having to explain every penny and he has no concept of prices and acts like he doesn't believe me) and why we don't have every penny saved up (I would love to stop spending money but the car needs gas, I need work clothes, insurance doesn't cover our treatment so its out of pocket) so we can get a place right away and I don't have perfect credit which is also a problem. Years of being ill and having sick kids and being stuck on welfare will do that to you:( I think things will be fine but we need to get OUT, I had a chance at the low income apts but turned them down since its an hour and a half away from work and where all the jobs are. I also worry about getting stuck in a low income neighborhood again, I don't get why low income = drugs and crime, I may be poor as heck but I've never turned to drugs, I've never robbed a neighbor and I don't drink and throw parties yet these are all daily things that happen there. I mean am I an anomaly to be poor and not doing these things? I grew up middle class and there is a huge difference in life styles.

Well I grew up with that type of father LOL.  I know it doesn't help but they reap what the sew in the long run.  My dad and mom have had to rely on me for food and shelter twice in the past decade.  My chauvinistic  dad really couldn't stand it.   I finally got to tell him get up off your ass and do this or that.  Anyway I know that's not helpful but just wanted your know I feel your pain.   I was able to get them out of my house.  I just told anybody and everybody I knew that I needed cheap rent with no deposit or contracts.  They are over 60 and on a social security so it was easier.   I  think that since your are single mom of 2 kids you would qualify for section 8 houses or what is called government subsidies.  I don't know where you are located but their are nice apartments (not section 8) housing here in Alabama.  They adjust your rent to your income.  The complexes also have full paying renters so its not the environment that you think of when you envision government apartments.   I would also suggest going to the food banks at churches.  I know my church has helped plenty of folks get back on their feet.  We have done deposit and 3 months rent and stuff like that and we are a rural community.  I would think the larger city churches would have different service.  I know the Catholic churches are known for their programs.  I'm sorry that life has been hard on you.   I can't imagine how  unsettled your are feeling right now.    I  think once you get into a better environment you may want to return to school  and trained for a better paying job.   Sorry you are having such a hard time. :grouphug:

[littlebug42]

Check with your closest Catholic church or St. Vincent DePaul chapter in your area. They can help with some of these things.

 

Also, check with your closest United Way. They often have hotlines and/or programs in place that can help put people in touch with all of the aid/help they qualify for.

 

Sounds like you are definitely in need of some housing assistance. Check with your closest housing authority for section 8 voucher program. A disabled child should help bump your priority.

[meena]

If you are looking at individually owned properties (rather than apartment buildings), it doesn't hurt to ask the owner/property manager if they will negotiate the move-in fees. With our current tenants, we were willing to work with them. We initially wanted first/last/security but ended up taking just first/security. I don't know how the market is where you live, but here we were glad to get stable tenants even if meant not collecting the full move-in amount. 

 

 

[BlueTaelon]

If you are looking at individually owned properties (rather than apartment buildings), it doesn't hurt to ask the owner/property manager if they will negotiate the move-in fees. With our current tenants, we were willing to work with them. We initially wanted first/last/security but ended up taking just first/security. I don't know how the market is where you live, but here we were glad to get stable tenants even if meant not collecting the full move-in amount.

The past year and a half has been crazy, this will be our 5th move, normally I stay at a place about 4 years. I picked up some of the smaller freebie papers and found a few more reasonable listings so I have some hope. I can find even cheaper across the state line but their HS'ing laws suck and I am not willing to deal with them. Were stuck here till Aug though while I save $, going to check out plasma donation this week, ad says make up to $250mo, I'm desperate lol. On the more honorable side dd12 was on IG therapy for 5 years, I'm just paying back into the donor pool what my kiddo used lol:)