if you have family that was an organ donor...

[MedicMom]

What would you like to know from the recipients?

 

I had a corneal transplant in January. It effectively saved my sight. Today I received a letter from the organ bank, asking if I would consider sending a letter to the donor family.

 

Aside from thank you, what would you want to know? I want to help them in their grief, not hurt. All I know is my donor was around 50 and died unexpectedly Christmas Eve or Christmas day. I can say anything except my address and last name.

 

My main desire, again, is to let them know how much I appreciate this gift. I just don't know how to best express that while acknowledging their loss.

[Annie G]

Since it's sight related, they might enjoy knowing something that you especially like to look at- a rainbow, mountains, etc. Perhaps when they see that thing they will think about their loved one and the wonderful gift you have because of that sad loss.

 

That would be a difficult letter to write, but the family will cherish it. Glad you're doing it- my brother in law passed after a tragic accident and my sister would have loved a letter from any of the donor recipients.

[*********]

Tell them how their gift has impacted your life. That's what will help them heal. Tell them specifically how donating their loved one's corneas has improved the quality of your life. Perhaps tell them about how now you will be able to continue seeing and caring for your children, your family, etc.

 

Just let them know, however you can, just how much it has meant to you. I think sending them a letter is a very sweet idea.

[Stacia]

I like what Annie G said. And I think you saying, " I want to help you in your grief, not hurt" is something you could also include -- that you know they are grieving and that you are hurting for them while also thanking them for an incredible gift. That perhaps the memory & beauty of their loved one can live on in the beauty you can now see in the world around you every single day.

[FloridaLisa]

We received a letter from a recipient after my husband died suddenly. The letter caught me off guard at first. But I actually really appreciated the letter and hearing her story. Essentially, she told me a little about her family, the situation which required the donation, how the donation had helped her and how thankful she was. Along with many other pieces, this letter was another small part of healing for us. The letter was another reflection of the big heart my husband had and to think that his death gave someone else a new lease on life and hope is really amazing.

 

Lisa

[laundrycrisis]

My dad was a donor. We never received a letter from any recipients that I am aware of, but we did get a nice list of all the cases his tissues were used for - just age, gender and what tissues were received. It was amazing to see that his body, which he no longer had any use for, went to help so many other people in so many ways ! We know that would have pleased him. Getting a letter from a recipient would have been nice also, and no matter how they chose to say thank you, it would have been something we appreciated. Nothing really takes away the pain, and someone expressing their gratitude wouldn't make it any worse, and in time, it is really nice to think of how someone else was helped.

[*Michelle*]

We received a letter from the donor organization when our little boy died letting us know that he helped five other babies. It was very general, but just knowing was a comfort.