Dealing Sensitively with Childish Insensitivity re: Race

[violamama]

My 7 yo said something totally insensitive and somewhat offensive today to some new friends who are African American. We are caucasian and live in an area with very little diversity.

 

May I ask you all, how do you deal with something like that? What he said was said to the mom but the child was within earshot. I did address it there and then. It had to do not with a learned stereotype or anything like that. It was a childish uncomplimentary comment about the color of her skin compared to some coal dust he had on his finger from his mineral collection.

 

We've invited the family over to dinner in a few days. Would you bring up the comment? I thought about asking the mom how she would like other moms to deal with something like that... but I didn't want to force her into the role of reformer just then. I also didn't want to make it any more of a big deal in front of the kids, who were merrily oblivious.

[jhschool]

Your child didn't mean anything bad by it.

 

In private, let him know not to make comments about anyone's skin color.

 

He is just a child and it doesn't sound like he was saying anything negative.

 

Don't bring it up again, and don't involve other parents.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If you addressed it then and there, it is all done. To bring it up again with the mom is to make it a bigger deal than it is.

[violamama]

Okay, that was my instinct. Thanks!

[katilac]

I would probably not address it with the other mom unless she brings it up. With my son, I would not focus on the skin color aspect of what he said, but rather the fact that it is a boatload of rude to make uncomplimentary comments about other people's appearance.

 

Even complimentary comments on appearance are dicey, especially when referring to an innate quality (beautiful dark skin or lovely blonde hair). I would probably just say, Do not worry about what other people look like, or comment on it. Ever.

 

He'll break this rule eventually, as we all tend to do, but it might buy you some time while he gains some sense, lol.

[Dory]

I would leave it alone if you already dealt with it there and then. With your son, I would have a talk about saying nice things about other people's appearance, whether it's their size, their eye color, or the color of their skin. The more you make it specifically about the skin, the more he's going to notice different skin colors. My cousin has a couple of African American boys. My kids commented on their skin color when they first met and I had a talk with them asking them how they would feel if someone made them feel different because their eyes were a different color then theirs, and that everyone is different in some way and that is what makes the world so interesting and fun. It would be boring if we were all the same. My youngest son went up to a Native classmate his first day of Kindergarten and told him how cool it was that the boy got to have a tan all the time and that he couldn't tan very nice all he gotted was sunburnded (not spelling errors, it's how he talks).

[Grover]

It'd fall under the "we don't comment on other people's personal appearance" banner here. We just don't.

[SKL]

I definitely wouldn't bring it up with the other mom again. I'd be careful about what you say to your kids, too, because you don't want to make a huge deal out of skin color. There is nothing wrong with children noticing skin color. The problem is that many kids who are unfamiliar with different races may assume that the darker color is "dirty." What I would do is explain scientifically what makes some people's skin darker than others'. Explain that more melanin is an adaptation to improve the health/survival of people who come from sunny places. For my kids (who are brown) I believe I used the Let's-Read-and-Find-Out book "Your Skin and Mine," and there is another book in the same series that talks about why some people's hair is curlier than others' etc.

[bolt.]

My rule if thumb is to immediately and blatantly correct the child, teaching something very sensitive and appropreate -- at the same "earshot volume" that the original comment was made.

 

Sometimes I also add a chagrined sort of apology smile to the other person, kind of a, "Boy, ya never know what's going to pop out of their mouths!" If the other person is right nearby I might also say, "So sorry about that." To them directly.

[Laurie4b]

There is something about my appearance that kids ask questions about or comment about. Most people understand that it is just kids. Kids notice something and they comment and they don't have adult filters yet. You already helped your child to develop more filters. Just being normal and friendly with the family will say more than making a big issue about it.

 

Also, it's fairly likely that rather than feel included, they could feel burdened by being asked how to help a child from the majority culture interact with children from a nonmajority culture.

[bolt.]

If you have trouble feeling/acting friendly and normal because of what your son said, that's one of the only reasons I'd bring it up later. In that case, something like, "Please excuse me for tripping over my words and acting awkward. I'm still just so embarrassed about what my son said about the coal dust! I honestly feel ashamed and awful and now I'm making it worse by being a poor hostess. Can I say again how sorry I am?" -- will manage to state the issue and apologize without placing any conversational burden on the other family.

[VaKim]

Why is noticing race or skin color something to be sensitive about anyway? Sure, if you are saying one race is better or not as good as another. But in the case of kids, they are just noting differences. People come in different colors and races. That is a fact. To make a big deal of it is to insinuate that there is something to be ashamed of for being a certain race. I am lard white, my dh is part NA, and we have black and Mexican friends. Also, mixed marriages. When we get together, we have a grand old time laughing about our differences and particularities. The same as we do with our accents, etc.

[katilac]

I'm curious what exactly he said.

 

One of mine once blurted out, "Hey how come that guy has a dark face?" That's not insensitive IMO. That's a genuine and fair question. I just said people come in various colors, shapes, sizes, etc. And he said..oh. And that was the end of that.

<snip>

 

Look back at the original post; he made a negative comment about about the color of her skin in relation to coal dust.

 

That's very different from what your son asked - although, in all honesty, it WAS insensitive even though it wasn't mean or offensive. Asking questions about people's appearance or other personal matters within their hearing is always insensitive. It's quite forgivable in the case of young children who are still learning, but one of the things we need to teach them is that, regardless of their curiosity or good intentions, it is indeed an inconsiderate thing to do.

[SKL]

In the case at hand, instead of gushing an apology, I'd probably substitute what your child said for something positive. For example, "her skin reminds me of the delicious chocolate I ate yesterday. She's lucky to have such lovely brown skin, because it will protect her from sun damage." Over-apologizing will make the other mom wonder if you're ashamed because your child heard something racist from you at home, or if you kind of agree that dark skin is unfortunate. IMHO.

[Hunter's Moon]

In the case at hand, instead of gushing an apology, I'd probably substitute what your child said for something positive. For example, "her skin reminds me of the delicious chocolate I ate yesterday. She's lucky to have such lovely brown skin, because it will protect her from sun damage." Over-apologizing will make the other mom wonder if you're ashamed because your child heard something racist from you at home, or if you kind of agree that dark skin is unfortunate. IMHO.

 

 

There was a controversy about a year or two ago when a black actress was associated with a chocolate bar in an ad. It was meant in a nice way, but did not go over well at all with the majority of people.

 

I think the OP should leave it. The comment was made by the child, the child was talked to immediately following the insensitive (but completely innocent) statement. There is nothing more that can be done. I assume the other mother knows that some innocent but completely inappropriate things come out of children's mouths.

 

ETA: I apologize if I misinterpreted your post to mean the OP should say that to the other child's mother. Looking back, I think it meant the OP saying that to her child?

[Tammi K]

I probably would have looked in the little offender's direction and used my best 'stink eye' and mama voice to say, "Hey, that's not nice. Knock it off!" But than, I've never been one to mince words.

 

We would generally debrief later with a , "Remember earlier today when you said....? Well that not nice because......."

My kids are older now, the youngest is 12, so we've moved past most of those types of situations, but when things pop up, like really horrible behavior, or rudeness, witnessed, I use my hypothetical grandchildren as a talking point. "when you're raising my grand children, please make sure...." Or, "Please don't bring my future grandchildren to visit me if...."

[Catherine]

My 7 yo said something totally insensitive and somewhat offensive today to some new friends who are African American. We are caucasian and live in an area with very little diversity.

 

May I ask you all, how do you deal with something like that? What he said was said to the mom but the child was within earshot. I did address it there and then. It had to do not with a learned stereotype or anything like that. It was a childish uncomplimentary comment about the color of her skin compared to some coal dust he had on his finger from his mineral collection.

 

We've invited the family over to dinner in a few days. Would you bring up the comment? I thought about asking the mom how she would like other moms to deal with something like that... but I didn't want to force her into the role of reformer just then. I also didn't want to make it any more of a big deal in front of the kids, who were merrily oblivious.

I think it's important to talk with him later. Not in a heavy way, but in a supportive and loving way.

 

White parents don't often discuss race with their children. Maybe they think it should not be an issue, so it should not be discussed? I don't know, but black parents definitely DO discuss race, early and often with their children-usually, it is forced on them by situations or remarks of other people. I just read a very insightful chapter about this very subject in a great book called Nurture Shock. Young children are very aware of physical differences and notice when someone looks different from themselves. Because they want to understand what the difference "means", they look for explanations, and often the ones most closely at hand for them are through the media. If parents are able to discuss racial differences and help them to grasp that people who look different from themselves are no different inside, they realize that looking different doesn't make people *different*.

 

When I read the book, I felt bad because the author's report of how white children who draw their own conclusions about racial differences ( there is research that confirms this, it's not just his opinion) that are often not the ones we'd like them to have, make these conclusions when they are fairly young, definitely under the age of 8. My kids are all beyond that age now and I so wish I had been wiser and talked more with them about this subject when they were younger.

 

I don't know how I'd talk to the mom. I think I probably would mention, when the kids are not listening, that you noticed and regret it. If she is inclined to be a "reformer" I'm sure she will let you know!

[SKL]

There was a controversy about a year or two ago when a black actress was associated with a chocolate bar in an ad. It was meant in a nice way, but did not go over well at all with the majority of people.

 

I think the OP should leave it. The comment was made by the child, the child was talked to immediately following the insensitive (but completely innocent) statement. There is nothing more that can be done. I assume the other mother knows that some innocent but completely inappropriate things come out of children's mouths.

 

ETA: I apologize if I misinterpreted your post to mean the OP should say that to the other child's mother. Looking back, I think it meant the OP saying that to her child?

 

Yes, I meant the white mom could say something like that to her own child, but whoever heard what the child said in the first place would also hear the mom's response. It doesn't have to be chocolate, I'm just trying to say put it in a context a little child can relate to. I also don't think any reasonable person would be upset with the reference to chocolate (or similar) in this specific circumstance. It's obvious the intent is to redirect without over-emphasizing the negative. .... I would note that when my mom was a little girl, she saw a black guy board the bus and hollered, "Mom, look, a chocolate man!" and the man busted out laughing. .... I would also add that I often compare my kids' skin to something near and dear to my heart - my morning coffee! This makes them smile. .... I really think that white people over-think things to the point of embarrassing the very people they are trying not to offend. For the record, I've heard black kids say things to my kids that would have been terribly ignorant and hurtful coming from an older person. But I don't hold high standards for interactions involving little kids. How can I when I still remind my second-grade daughters (in front of others) to wipe their noses and flush the toilet? I mean, I wouldn't say that to an adult either . . ..

[Jean in Newcastle]

Even when my children were very little they could understand that they had something in their skin (melanin) that made their skin darker. They didn't understand all the science of it but all they needed was something that made it normal and part of our physical make-up just like eye color, hair color etc. Just like a child asking about another child's eye color doesn't have to be a big deal, neither does skin color. Personally, I think that the more matter of fact people are about the physiology involved the better. I personally don't really like the tendency to talk up something like someone's dark skin as particularly beautiful if you aren't saying that about anyone else's skin color. It seems like by trying too hard to talk it up, you are actually drawing attention to it as something that some would find ugly. (These are just my own feelings as a mom of mixed race kids. They always responded negatively to what seemed like over emphasis on superficial things of their appearance.)

[helena]

I don't think it sounds insensitive. It sounds like an honest (childlike) observation.

 

 

Once when I was teaching in a preschool classroom a dad came in to pick up his child wearing only tiny black workout shorts and no shirt. A little girl looked at him in amazement and said "Oh! You're black!" I know that she meant as in "crayola black", truly to her new innocent eyes, black. Not a judgement call, no negativity.

 

The father, who indeed was very dark (and ridiculously handsome :)), laughed and said "Yes, I am." We laughed and chatted for a second, and off he went. She was making an observation at the tender age of not "knowing better", and he got a kick out of it.

 

I'm raising my girls to not judge people on how they look but I seriously love skin colors. My mother is very light and my father is dark. Growing up like that (especially in a time where mixing wasn't as common) I think I've heard it all at this point in life , lots of unkind and down right hateful stuff in fact. But that would never stop me from being in love with color and features and human form. My husband and I (and kids) are constantly questioned about our race/ethnicity. My kids were just asked last week if they're Indian (totally not :)) Our friends are all different races and colors too. Color is often coming up in conversation around here. There's a lot of laughing and openness. It's not taboo, it's a fact and a blessing to the senses.

 

Gentle guidance in how to make good conversation is important too. I think you did fine mom. :)

[marbel]

I agree with those who say not to bring it up with the woman again. I think you were right to correct him then and there. I can understand his innocent comment - sounds like he was simply comparing colors (?) and there is nothing inherently bad or "dirty" about the color of coal dust.

 

But if you live in a predominantly white area you might want to broaden your child's horizons a bit more with some age-appropriate books that address racial differences.

 

My kids' early life was spent in a very racially-diverse area so different skin colors were no big deal to them. When they were preschool/kindy age we had a group of friends that pretty much covered the spectrum of skin tones. One day our little playgroup read a picture book - it was a long time ago now so I don't remember the name - celebrating skin color differences. One of the moms read it and then the kids had fun talking about each others' skin color. One girl was "cinnamon," my daughter was "raspberries and cream" and so it went. They loved it. No one, including the moms, were offended by having their skin color associated with a delicious food. Since they had been seeing lots of different skin colors all their young lives it wasn't a big deal, but it still was helpful to recognize and acknowledge it.

 

I wouldn't expect a young child who had not been exposed to much range in skin color not to find it worth remarking on.

[Lisbeth]

I think we overreact way to much to skin color in this country. A child's comments are usually just out of curiosity. I would love for all of us to get over our frantic PC thing and be even. I wouldn't censor this especially because I think it sets up an us and them memtality more than anything. I also wouldn't insult the other mom by assuming she couldn't deal maturely with a child's curiosity...or even a child's insult if it rose to that level. She is an adult. Kids blurt things out. I would explain,the science behind dark skin and then drop it.

[Susan in TN]

Typically, when my kids make comments about another person's appearance, I try to engage in a conversation about it right away. Once my dd - I think she was 4 or 5 at the time asked our very dark-skinned friend if she had chocolate on her skin. I immediately told her - yes her skin is the color of chocolate, isn't it pretty? And then we compared our own arms - "my skin looks more like a Cheerio. There are lots of pretty colors of skin, etc., etc." Same thing with tall people, short people, skinny, fat, etc. And then I remind them that it's not polite to make comments about how other people look, but if they ever have a question they can ask me about it.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

AMDG

 

I don't really see the problem with the chocolate thing. I mean, I'd rather be compared to something like chocolate than alabaster or cream but I would take ZERO offense if a child of another race asked why I look like cream cheese . . . though I don't . . . I'd say more like vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. and i'm not that white so it'd really be more like . . . black walnut ice cream. Big fat hairy deal!

 

Honestly. it's the intent, the feeling behind the words, the innocence of an honest question.

 

I personally LOVE the diversity of the human race and think it should be celebrated rather than (the absurdly pc notion of) pretending it doesn't exist. That is a shame, imnsho, a crime against the Creator who made all things.

 

oops, sorry, got excited there for a minute.

[jhschool]

In the case at hand, instead of gushing an apology, I'd probably substitute what your child said for something positive. For example, "her skin reminds me of the delicious chocolate I ate yesterday. She's lucky to have such lovely brown skin, because it will protect her from sun damage." Over-apologizing will make the other mom wonder if you're ashamed because your child heard something racist from you at home, or if you kind of agree that dark skin is unfortunate. IMHO.

 

 

Oh, no. I don't think you should say that at all!

I really don't.

 

That would be a very bad thing to say...even if you mean well!

[Guest]

One of my sons saw a little African American boy in the store, and asked, "Why is that boy black?" I was so shocked because he's been around our relatives (some are black), I'm half black, and he's a quarter black! Little kids just don't know any better. They are just curious. I think you handled the situation just fine. If you want to bring it up again, you could, but I wouldn't make a huge deal about it. I guess it depends on how you addressed it to the mom the first time.

[KungFuPanda]

If the other woman's child made a comment about your skin reminding him of the chalk dust or sand he got on his hands last week, would you want her to make a big deal about it? Yes, talk to our child about it privately, but blowing it out of proportion will make everyone uncomfortable.

 

My son was 3 when he spotted a little person for the first time ever. He was squealing like he'd just won the lottery. "Mommy, it's a little grown up! Did you see him? It's a little grown up!" He was so completely happy. I was mortified and couldn't get out of Bed Bath and Beyond fast enough.

[Ravin]

I would have taken him to task about making an unfavorable comment about someone else's physical appearance. Period. Race is a loaded issue that has to do with a lot more than skin color, and the reasons why take a certain amount of maturity to understand. but "we don't go around insulting how other people look" is a very concrete rule for a child to follow.

 

We've talked about differences in skin or hair color, often in relation to either her observations about others (usually complimentary ones), and we've talked about history a bit in relation to Martin Luther King Jr. Day and different traditions from the Latino community, etc.

 

But if she made such a comment as described above, she would get an immediate chastisement for insulting another person for their looks, and a serious conversation later about WHY skin color is such a loaded topic. She's 9, I think she would get it, at least a little bit.

 

I didn't get it until I was 17 at least and had some personal life experience with how it feels to be the race-minority in a social setting, seeing how people treated my senior prom date (and me for dating him), and how I was treated by those with homophobic hostility towards me. Even then, I still didn't get it, in some ways I probably won't ever "get it" 100% because I have the societal privilege of whiteness.

[Alice]

One of my sons saw a little African American boy in the store, and asked, "Why is that boy black?" I was so shocked because he's been around our relatives (some are black), I'm half black, and he's a quarter black! Little kids just don't know any better. They are just curious. I think you handled the situation just fine. If you want to bring it up again, you could, but I wouldn't make a huge deal about it. I guess it depends on how you addressed it to the mom the first time.

 

 

My husband is Chinese-American and my kids are mixed. When my oldest was about 5 we were studying China and I asked him who he knew who was Chinese. He answered “Grandpa†but honestly couldn’t think of anyone else. (Forgetting his father, his cousins, aunts, uncles, etc).

 

I think often kids are more honest and most of the time people aren’t offended if they are just pointing out facts. I have a lot of freckles and I’ve frequently had non-Caucausian kids (either African-American or Asian) ask me if it’s a rash or if it’s chickenpox or if it hurts. I could choose to be offended but they are really just curious. I just explain that no, they don’t hurt and that they are freckles and it’s kind of like little spots of dark skin instead of their dark skin all over. I’d be insulted if an adult said something about my “ugly freckles†or assumed that all freckled, red-headed people are evil but in a curious kid I just take it for that.

[Ottakee]

Often at that age kids don't mean anything bad, just making comments when they notice. My nephew Zach told me one time "Zachy is scared of Indians"..............forgetting that his grandma and dad were both Indians. He didn't make that connection. I also had a foster girl who was 5. She wore tights with her shorts to school all spring as she didn't want the other kids to see her brown skin.........not realizing that they saw her face and arms. She didn't like "Mexicans" yet she herself was 1/2 Native American and 1/2 Hispanic.

[Mommyof4ks]

I agree, nothing bad was meant by it. Kids use their experiences and knowledge to compare things, and to him her skin looked like coal dust. As long as kiddo was told comparing skin color to things offends some people, all is well. Surely the mom has been in that position before. We seem to think that only Caucasian kids say things like that, but it happens with every race. We had that happen with a friend (who was 5) who said my son looked like a snowman (he is really white lol). The important thing is not to shame your kiddo or make a big deal about it to the other family.

[Murmer]

 

 

My kids' early life was spent in a very racially-diverse area so different skin colors were no big deal to them. When they were preschool/kindy age we had a group of friends that pretty much covered the spectrum of skin tones. One day our little playgroup read a picture book - it was a long time ago now so I don't remember the name - celebrating skin color differences. One of the moms read it and then the kids had fun talking about each others' skin color. One girl was "cinnamon," my daughter was "raspberries and cream" and so it went. They loved it. No one, including the moms, were offended by having their skin color associated with a delicious food. Since they had been seeing lots of different skin colors all their young lives it wasn't a big deal, but it still was helpful to recognize and acknowledge it.

 

I wouldn't expect a young child who had not been exposed to much range in skin color not to find it worth remarking on.

 

 

I think the book is called the colors of us by Karen Katz ( I think)

 

I also like the book the skin you live in.

[katilac]

If the other woman's child made a comment about your skin reminding him of the chalk dust or sand he got on his hands last week, would you want her to make a big deal about it? Yes, talk to our child about it privately, but blowing it out of proportion will make everyone uncomfortable.

 

My son was 3 when he spotted a little person for the first time ever. He was squealing like he'd just won the lottery. "Mommy, it's a little grown up! Did you see him? It's a little grown up!" He was so completely happy. I was mortified and couldn't get out of Bed Bath and Beyond fast enough.

 

 

Remember, the OP said that it was a negative comment, not a neutral observation. I still would not make a big deal of it; she addressed it at the time and that's fine. She can continue to teach and address 'no negative/personal comments' in a general context.

 

The second part of your post? Oh, my, lol!

[Catherine]

My husband is Chinese-American and my kids are mixed. When my oldest was about 5 we were studying China and I asked him who he knew who was Chinese. He answered “Grandpa†but honestly couldn’t think of anyone else. (Forgetting his father, his cousins, aunts, uncles, etc).

 

 

Your post and Jinnah's post are so interesting! But I think in both cases, it's because small children aren't "seeing" their closest people as objectively as we can. So they don't even perceive racial qualities in their own parents-or themselves! But I agree that race is much more than skin color.

[SKL]

For those concerned about the "chocolate" comment, it just occurred to me that throughout my childhood I was taught that my skin color (and those of most people I knew) was "peach." We always used the "peach" crayon to color caucasion kids in coloring books, etc. It never occurred to me that as "peach" was a fruit, I should be offended for being compared to a tasty but inanimate object. Maybe that's why I don't see why offense should be taken when "chocolate" (or similar) is brought up in the context of a little kid conversation. Especially considering that "your skin looks like coal dust" is the level the child is currently at. No, the alternative comparison is not necessary, but I don't think I should go do penance for thinking of it, considering the context.

[SKL]

 

But the general theme of this thread is how to BEST handle sticky race situations. Why not shoot for the absolute best, and most gracious? Why would you be like OH JUST SAY SHE'S LIKE CHOCOALTE CAUSE CHOLCOLATE IS DELICIOUS AND I BET SHE IS TOO YUM YUM YUM

 

Well first of all, most of us are not so perfect that we will always come up with the absolute best response in an unexpected and embarrassing situation. More often than not we have to rely on the hope that the other person involved will look at our intent rather than whether a perfect person would have come up with a better response. And secondly, way to exaggerate and be ridiculous about what I said. My whole point is to NOT make a big deal of the issue in front of the brown child or her parent, but to address the matter swiftly and positively. The worst thing one could do was go on and on about the childish reference to color, whether apologetically or gushingly or otherwise. ... My kids are brown, and if anyone of any age said something about their color resembling chocolate (or similar), I would not be offended, and neither would my kids. I know skin color is a sticky subject, even though it shouldn't be. I understand that people are going to be awkward about it at times. In fact, when I hear a child say something that makes his/her mom wince, I am quick to smile and say "it's OK." I trust most other parents of non-white kids would be equally understanding in this kind of situation. And frankly, anyone who decides to hold a grudge over something well-intended does not need to be a friend of mine.

[kiwik]

If the other woman's child made a comment about your skin reminding him of the chalk dust or sand he got on his hands last week, would you want her to make a big deal about it? Yes, talk to our child about it privately, but blowing it out of proportion will make everyone uncomfortable.

 

My son was 3 when he spotted a little person for the first time ever. He was squealing like he'd just won the lottery. "Mommy, it's a little grown up! Did you see him? It's a little grown up!" He was so completely happy. I was mortified and couldn't get out of Bed Bath and Beyond fast enough.

 

 

That one is fun isn't it. My youngest actually pointed and laughed delightedly. Ds6 said they look like a mummy but must be a child. I said god makes lots of different people and moved them along. The weird thing was that it was 2 separate incidents and the first time ds6 went straight past her without even noticing and the second time ds4 was equally oblivious.

[violamama]

... Yes, talk to our child about it privately, but blowing it out of proportion will make everyone uncomfortable.

 

My son was 3 when he spotted a little person for the first time ever. He was squealing like he'd just won the lottery. "Mommy, it's a little grown up! Did you see him? It's a little grown up!" He was so completely happy. I was mortified and couldn't get out of Bed Bath and Beyond fast enough.

 

Thanks, glad to have a bit of affirmation and hear other's thoughts. 

 

KungFuPanda, we've had an 11 year old gal coming to our house for about 4 years who has short stature syndrome (i.e. she's a little person). My son (yep, same one) just the other day finally realized her body is a bit different than the average and that she is the same size now as she was when she was younger. Her mom happened to be there and replied kindly to his questions with, "You know, people come in all different shapes and sizes and colors. It can be kind of surprising. Have you been noticing that more lately?" And I think he was almost relieved to realize the diversity of man is a marvel to many- even adults. I love that mom.

 

We're about to become a mixed race family, and I always appreciate glimpses of others' thoughts on race. My favorite viola student this year decided against a career in music to go off and study race. I asked her to send me her thesis when she comes out the other side of academia... 

 

Anyway, thanks all!