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If you dress for Tea time..


Moxie
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Also, totally TMI but I have found that my chest is quite the distraction from my tummy. Plus our crinkly skin, stretch marks, and curves are the battle scars of motherhood, do not let anyone make you feel otherwise. Your husband as a grown loving man should be quite aware of that as well.

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It takes all kinds. Like many men and women, my husband and I both enjoy an increased response and pleasure level from visual cues and feedback. For me, sex in the pitch black with a bra on would be an out and out chore. Whatever floats your boat but there is nothing wrong about couples sharing their bodies with each other.

 

I used to bother me that my dh wanted the lights on all the time, now I prefer it too. It does help though that he has never done a thing, ever, to make me feel insecure about how he feels about my body. I mean he wants the lights on, lol. :D

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That's known as wife goggles, I love them, lol.

 

Yeah, my husband is totally sporting those. He's totally fine with my striped tummy. No matter how fit I get, my stretch marks from carrying my sons straight out in front are epic. If I filled in the stretch marks with black ink, I would be as stripe-y as a zebra.

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Also, totally TMI but I have found that my chest is quite the distraction from my tummy. Plus our crinkly skin, stretch marks, and curves are the battle scars of motherhood, do not let anyone make you feel otherwise. Your husband as a grown loving man should be quite aware of that as well.

 

To that end, I love this picture.

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It takes all kinds. Like many men and women, my husband and I both enjoy an increased response and pleasure level from visual cues and feedback. For me, sex in the pitch black with a bra on would be an out and out chore. Whatever floats your boat but there is nothing wrong about couples sharing their bodies with each other.

 

 

I have also found that the more I relax and pretend to be confident in my body, the more I actually feel confident and enjoy myself at all times, not just in the bedroom.

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I'm right there with you. Even IF I wanted to dress up for teA, it wouldn't matter as the lights are out - totally, completely OUT - and if there's even a hint of moonlight there's a blanket hung over the window. So no use dressing any more than I do: comfy t-shirt that stays ON and a bra (that also stays on). Hey, that's the only way any teA consumption is happening around here, lol. I would about die if I wore something that showed any part of me.

 

 

You should ditch the bra and tee and surprise him. Then report back.

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I'm right there with you. Even IF I wanted to dress up for teA, it wouldn't matter as the lights are out - totally, completely OUT - and if there's even a hint of moonlight there's a blanket hung over the window. So no use dressing any more than I do: comfy t-shirt that stays ON and a bra (that also stays on). Hey, that's the only way any teA consumption is happening around here, lol. I would about die if I wore something that showed any part of me.

 

 

This is a little OT and way personal so feel free to ignore. Have you always felt like this? Does your DH ever see you changing, in the shower, etc.? Is this a religion thing or just a comfort thing? With the situation you described, do you ever get to "boil"?? Again, feel free to ignore me. I'm just so curious about different attitudes toward Tea.

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LOL - took a bit of a board break and forgot the euphamisims! My first thought...wow, these moms are really putting the rest of us to shame if they are having the whole family dress up for tea time every day. I actually gave it a thought and liked the idea. Yes, a return to civility! Tea time in our formal wear in the salon every day at 4:00! Then I realized what you all were talking about!

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I'm right there with you. Even IF I wanted to dress up for teA, it wouldn't matter as the lights are out - totally, completely OUT - and if there's even a hint of moonlight there's a blanket hung over the window. So no use dressing any more than I do: comfy t-shirt that stays ON and a bra (that also stays on). Hey, that's the only way any teA consumption is happening around here, lol. I would about die if I wore something that showed any part of me.

 

I am waaaay too lazy for ths level of impressive vigilance.

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Whatever floats your boat but there is nothing wrong about couples sharing their bodies with each other.
I agree...and I share my body with my dh. But within my comfort level. He understands and has accepted this part of me without ever making me feel guilty, for which I am very grateful...but not grateful enough to change (literally). It may not be what is "normal" but it is what works for me/us. :)

 

This is a little OT and way personal so feel free to ignore. Have you always felt like this? Does your DH ever see you changing, in the shower, etc.? Is this a religion thing or just a comfort thing? With the situation you described, do you ever get to "boil"?? Again, feel free to ignore me. I'm just so curious about different attitudes toward Tea.
I have always felt like this but used to not act on it. I went for years and years dreading teA because of how I felt (exposed, grossed out). I finally had a very open talk with dh that was awesome as it showed me that I could safely express my desire for MUCH more conservative (aka boring) teA and he, while not completely understanding, did understand that I felt like I did and it was not his place to tell me I was wrong. TeA has been much better because I no longer dread many aspects of it.

 

No, dh does not see me changing and we do not shower together. Well, he tried once and I jumped out right quick! Talk about having my personal space (and time) violated, lol! It's not a religion thing at all, just a personal thing. Been like this all my life. One time I was on a missions trip with the youth group and to my utter shock and dismay the showers where we stayed were all together - one big room. I wore my swimsuit to shower even while the youth group leader's wife mocked me. Whatever.

 

I am far more comfortable and at ease when I am covered up, both for teA and daily life. I could never stand to even show my curves which, being 5'11, weighing about 130 and having a size 36D chest was NOT easy to do. I wore t-shirts over my modest swimsuits (when I wore swimsuits...those are a thing of the past)! It just is who I am.

 

My girls are not like me for those who are concerned. ;) They don't dress in a way that I would consider immodest but they are more comfortable wearing things I would not wear - not because I wouldn't have looked good but because I just don't like showing my body to anyone - cleavage, curves, etc.

 

I am waaaay too lazy for ths level of impressive vigilance.
Lol. :)

 

You should ditch the bra and tee and surprise him. Then report back.
Um...not happening. Hot places would freeze over before I could bring myself to do that again (yes, I tried it last year...big mistake...ruined the entire evening). Shirt and bra are much safer.
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I'm right there with you. Even IF I wanted to dress up for teA, it wouldn't matter as the lights are out - totally, completely OUT - and if there's even a hint of moonlight there's a blanket hung over the window. So no use dressing any more than I do: comfy t-shirt that stays ON and a bra (that also stays on). Hey, that's the only way any teA consumption is happening around here, lol. I would about die if I wore something that showed any part of me.

 

It takes all types. For instance, here, lingerie is a waste of money no matter what size I am. I'm happy my husband really does love me from thin to thick, in afternoon light or dead of night dark, and all ways in between.

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