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Sons asked to go back to school....but I am not ready!


mitzvahmommy
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We moved very recently from the Midwest to the NYC area. My kids are still adjusting, but are thrilled with the new friends they are making here....so much so that they have asked to go to school in the fall. First they have to get through camp, which has three hours of religious studies learning each morning. If they are successful at sitting for three hours in a structured environment (which I HIGHLY doubt), then I guess I would consider sending them to school in the fall. But my oldest has Asperger as well as ADHD and I remember so clearly how awful school was for him socially. My next son has extreme ADHD and can't sit for more than 30 seconds unless drugged (which we all agree is a price not worth paying). I do think they will be ready to return to school someday if they desire, but I don't think they are ready (we have only been homeschooling for one year). My dilemma is that I am not sure I am able to be objective, as I love homeschooling them, and have already purchased, prepared, and planned at least half of what I would use next year if they homeschool. My plan was to spend this next month while the kids are in camp finishing my planning for next year. Now I am not sure if I should invest all of that time and energy. Are they not ready to go back to school, or am I not ready to give up homeschooling?! How can I tell the difference??

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While i would take into consideration their wishes, the schooling decision is a parenting choice. Are the reasons you started homeschooling now "gone" with the move" Or are they still there? Is there a co-op you can join that they can make friends at and see the perks of HSing?

 

You have an awesome city to explore and learn from, it would kill me to not have the freedom of hs'ing while adjusting to city life! So much to see, so much to do.

 

But, back to the question at hand, i would say you will consider their wishes, and see how your home life is after they have been at camp all day. I'm assuming they do studies in the morning and then get to run around and such afterwards - so you might not get a feel for it. They haven't been home that long either, so you still should remember how it was when they sat for 6-8 hours.

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I'll be honest; I don't love the idea of homeschooling to get kids "ready to go back to school." HSing is so much more than that! Even parents who pull kids out of school because of problems usually find so many unanticipated benefits of homeschooling.

 

Assuming you have the support of your dh, I'd suggest keeping at it, not because you're ignoring what your kids say (you don't mention how old the kids are), but because you are the mommy and you are very capable of a) assessing where they are at, educationally, and B) continuing to teach and guide them as you all explore your new home.

 

You could find other homeschoolers to do more structured programs with if that's the sort of thing they need. There are also, I assume, more opportunities to find like-minded youth groups and extracurricular (structured) activities in the NYC area, so they will not have to do without if that's what they want, while at the same time, continuing to reap the benefits of individualized instruction according to their own needs.

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We moved very recently from the Midwest to the NYC area. My kids are still adjusting, but are thrilled with the new friends they are making here....so much so that they have asked to go to school in the fall. First they have to get through camp, which has three hours of religious studies learning each morning. If they are successful at sitting for three hours in a structured environment (which I HIGHLY doubt), then I guess I would consider sending them to school in the fall. But my oldest has Asperger as well as ADHD and I remember so clearly how awful school was for him socially. My next son has extreme ADHD and can't sit for more than 30 seconds unless drugged (which we all agree is a price not worth paying). I do think they will be ready to return to school someday if they desire, but I don't think they are ready (we have only been homeschooling for one year). My dilemma is that I am not sure I am able to be objective, as I love homeschooling them, and have already purchased, prepared, and planned at least half of what I would use next year if they homeschool. My plan was to spend this next month while the kids are in camp finishing my planning for next year. Now I am not sure if I should invest all of that time and energy. Are they not ready to go back to school, or am I not ready to give up homeschooling?! How can I tell the difference??

 

You have very sound reasons for teaching your children at home. It doesn't seem as if an age-segregated, classroom-based, one-size-fits-all educational method would be best for them.

 

They want to go to school because they have made friends. That isn't the best reason to go to school. And they are children, so by definition they are immature. It is why God created parents. :-)

 

I don't know if it's important to know whether it is that they are not ready to go back to school (although I can't tell how old they are, or how long you've been hsing, which might or might not make a difference in my answer) or that you are not ready to give up homeschooling. :-)

 

I, too, would love to homeschool in NYC. What a wealth of field trip opportunities!!

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We moved very recently from the Midwest to the NYC area. My kids are still adjusting, but are thrilled with the new friends they are making here....so much so that they have asked to go to school in the fall. First they have to get through camp, which has three hours of religious studies learning each morning. If they are successful at sitting for three hours in a structured environment (which I HIGHLY doubt), then I guess I would consider sending them to school in the fall. But my oldest has Asperger as well as ADHD and I remember so clearly how awful school was for him socially. My next son has extreme ADHD and can't sit for more than 30 seconds unless drugged (which we all agree is a price not worth paying). I do think they will be ready to return to school someday if they desire, but I don't think they are ready (we have only been homeschooling for one year). My dilemma is that I am not sure I am able to be objective, as I love homeschooling them, and have already purchased, prepared, and planned at least half of what I would use next year if they homeschool. My plan was to spend this next month while the kids are in camp finishing my planning for next year. Now I am not sure if I should invest all of that time and energy. Are they not ready to go back to school, or am I not ready to give up homeschooling?! How can I tell the difference??

 

 

It sounds to me like the only thing that has changed is that your sons made some friends. Commit to helping them spend time with their new friends (after school playdates, Friday overnights, invite to family functions...whatever is appropriate for your family).

 

It doesn't sound like the reasons for homeschooling have changed at all. I'd reassure them that you'll let them spend time with their friends, and brainstorm ways to do that, but that you'll still be homeschooling.

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Amazing advice, thanks all. My two oldest sons are both 8 yo right now (they are 11 months apart), with the oldest turning 9 in a few weeks. When pressed, they said they want to go back to school so that they can carpool with their friends. then I reminded them that, after they arrive at school, they will be at SCHOOL, that place where you are locked in a chair for most of the day, learning at a painfully slow pace what other people tell you that you should be interested in, taught at you/to you in a manner that they think you should find engaging and effective. And then they both said, "yeah, ok, maybe we don't want to go back to school after all!". I am so excited to continue this adventure. It has only been one year, and I hope to still be learning together for many more.

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