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Extroverts are such strange creatures. ;)


Ginevra
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So, my mother is here at my house after having had surgery on Monday for breast cancer. She is a lovely person, but it is hard for me to believe half of my genetic code really comes from her! :laugh: She is such an extrovert. I am such an introvert. Two days after she had her boobs worked on, :laugh: she was calling all her friends, one after the other, with a checklist even! Making sure she called everybody she could! It is sooooo weird to me, and I mean that in the nicest way. If everything is not right with me, I disappear. If everything is not right with her, she takes out a full-length page in the New York Times. :lol:

 

She is so chatty. She talks and talks and talks and talks and... :leaving: Two of her friends are visiting right now. I'm relieved! I'm going to have to go sit on the porch. My ears are tired. :lol:

 

I hope you all understand, I'm poking fun...I'm very grateful that things are going well for my mother. :p

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I never realized what an introvert I was until my husband had a stroke. I didn't answer the phone for two years. It just completely zapped my energy to talk to anyone, except very close friends and family. Even my closest friends learned to send a quick text instead of trying to call me.

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I agree!!! But, I'm married to one of these strange creatures! Nearly every day I have to ask him to STOP TALKING!!! Some days I'm nice about it. Others, not so much. I have two extrovert kids too. They exhaust me!

 

 

I am like my dad. He is probably a more extreme introvert than I am. How they EVER got together is mystifying to me.

 

Now I know why he used to come home from work and shut himself in his bedroom. :lol:

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Yeah, I don't get extroverts at all. Don't get me wrong, there are some people I care about quite a bit and I love spending time with them, but I like close interaction with few people. Anything else and I feel like I need to hide under the covers for a week.

 

The invention of the Internet and text messaging are a couple of the best things that ever happened to me!

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hmmm... i am one of those extreme extroverts....

 

sometimes i don't know how i feel about something until i hear it come out of my mouth..... i actually NEED other people to process things with. i have found journalling helps a lot, but really i need someone's ears and comments.

 

your mom is trying to wrap her head and heart around all that has happened. noticing she is calling so many people is a clue that this is a Really Big Thing emotionally for her. i'm sure you'd already figured that out, given the nature of the beast, but this calling is a sign that she hasn't processed it all yet.

 

my very introverted husband and children actually suggest i call someone, or talk to the two extroverts in the family.

 

all that said, when i had two cancer surgeries back to back this spring, i called lots of folks beforehand, processed possible outcomes and then just wanted to be quiet post surgeries.

 

good luck!

ann

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:lol: It really is baffling, isn't it? Discussing my medical stuff with people sits just above cleaning port-a-potties on my list of things I'd like to do. I announce pregnancies to my (extroverted) sister and let her spread the news.

 

We think our little guy is an extrovert, and my husband an I have absolutely no clue how that happened. He talks non stop allllllll day long. It's completely exhausting.

 

Oh see I imagine introverts and extroverts marry all the time because someone has to make the first move and introverts don't tend to do that. I met my DH on-line and we chatted for years before either of us got the idea to make any sort of move to meet in person. I think that is the only reason we got together.

 

I knew my now DH three years before he said more than two sentences together to me. :)

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I am like my dad. He is probably a more extreme introvert than I am. How they EVER got together is mystifying to me.

 

Now I know why he used to come home from work and shut himself in his bedroom. :lol:

 

This is my DH and me, except flipped. On a day when he's been home alone all day working on the house or other honey-do-type projects, he's so desperate to get out and see people that he'll call me and ask if I need anything at the grocery store or anywhere else, and he'll argue with me if I try to say I'll just get XYZ myself another day :lol: Thank goodness he's in an intensely client-facing job. He'd wear me out otherwise!

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HA! I am one of those strange creatures!

 

Me, too B)

 

With my husband, people tried so hard to give me space. They'd visit, but keep it brief and sometimes conversation floundered because they didn't want to burden me with their problems nor talk up their good news lest it come across as minimizing his medical situation. Their intentions were sweet, honorable, and so loving.

 

But so far off from what I needed! I DID want to hear what their kids were up to, what vacations they had taken, and all of that - good and bad alike. I welcomed their vents and struggles, and relished their good news. When my life was falling apart around me, I needed others to recharge me - with presence, with words, with distractions, with reminders of life beyond our current situation.

 

I decided to go back to college just to get that needed stimulation and interaction. In hindsight it might've been cheaper and just as effective to buy a round at the pub every Friday night instead LOL. Lots of opinions to share there ;)

 

Quill, I'm glad your mom's in great spirits and that your ears are getting a well-deserved rest!

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Really weird fact in our family.

 

Dh and I...both EXTREME introverts.

 

4 kids. THREE extroverts, one introvert. That one child is so nice to spend time with. :)

 

This is a huge reason why we don't really enjoy travelling together as a family. My three extroverts sap the life right out of me and my dh.

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I used to be more extroverted. Something happened since becoming an adult, I guess life got more stressful and I just can't stand being around people anymore. Small talk after Mass is one of the worst things ever, I bolt out of there so fast. I absolutely LOATHE small talk. Hate it. It gives me the creepie crawlies just thinking about it. Funny thing, I'm pretty outspoken on facebook, I like engaging in conversations, I share pretty personal things, etc, but being around anyone but dh or my kids IRL really drains me.

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My question for extroverts who like to talk, talk, talk all day -- doesn't your face get tired? :laugh: I've seriously sat there wondering that sometimes w/ certain people I'm around. (Uh, yeah, that's when it gets to the point in the one-way conversation when I'm tuning out because I can't take the interaction any more & I just see their jaw moving, and moving, and moving... and then I start wondering why it never gets tired. I guess because it's exercised so much...?) :tongue_smilie:

 

And, yes, if I talk too much in one day, my face will actually hurt. Any other introverts out there who have that same problem?

 

Quill, glad to hear that your mom is doing so well. :grouphug: to both of you.

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hmmmm....

 

fwiw, an introvert is one whose energy gets zapped by too much interaction whereas an extrovert is one who gains energy being around people.

 

talking forever when someone has stopped listening and isn' talking back isn't being extroverted, its being, well, rude.... many extroverts are good listeners because they thrive on the communication with others... that's very different than talking without stopping, which is more about control than communication, and can be found in both introverts and extroverts.

 

in an average conversation or three, one's jaw will not get tired because one will be pausing to listen, too...

 

i'm not much of a monologue person, but can imagine that one's jaw could become sore...

fwiw,

ann

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hmmmm....

 

fwiw, an introvert is one whose energy gets zapped by too much interaction whereas an extrovert is one who gains energy being around people.

 

talking forever when someone has stopped listening and isn' talking back isn't being extroverted, its being, well, rude.... many extroverts are good listeners because they thrive on the communication with others... that's very different than talking without stopping, which is more about control than communication, and can be found in both introverts and extroverts.

 

in an average conversation or three, one's jaw will not get tired because one will be pausing to listen, too...

 

i'm not much of a monologue person, but can imagine that one's jaw could become sore...

fwiw,

ann

 

:iagree: with this. :)

I'm an extrovert in that I absolutely love love LOVE being around people. I am like someone who was mentioned upthread (a DH, I think?) who LOOKS for reasons to leave the house if I've been home all day. I love being busy every night, having something to do all the time that involves being around people.

I am not someone, however, who loves the spotlight or loves being the center of attention. I have a good friend who is a sanguine (loves all the attention) and I'm happy to be in a group with her, interjecting here and there, but off 'to the side' so to speak, as opposed to the 'center' (attention wise). :)

That said, I will go on shopping trips with my closest friend and come home with my voice half gone. Not even kidding. Because the two of us talk that much. :D :lol: Never had my jaw hurt, though.

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hmmmm....

 

fwiw, an introvert is one whose energy gets zapped by too much interaction whereas an extrovert is one who gains energy being around people.

 

talking forever when someone has stopped listening and isn' talking back isn't being extroverted, its being, well, rude.... many extroverts are good listeners because they thrive on the communication with others... that's very different than talking without stopping, which is more about control than communication, and can be found in both introverts and extroverts.

 

in an average conversation or three, one's jaw will not get tired because one will be pausing to listen, too...

 

i'm not much of a monologue person, but can imagine that one's jaw could become sore...

fwiw,

ann

 

 

Good point. I know that not all extroverts talk incessantly (I have some extrovert friends who do NOT talk all the time), but I do know a person or two who will just not stop talking. (I'm assuming they are also extroverts based on their personality traits. So, those few people are why I was posing the question in the first place. LOL.)

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I think I could have been a hermit, too. DD11 is going to camp this summer and my first thought was that I needed to stock up on groceries to feed the rest of the family so I wouldn't have any reason to leave the house. I just love the idea of staying home for days and days and not having to interact with anyone except the people in my house.

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Good point. I know that not all extroverts talk incessantly (I have some extrovert friends who do NOT talk all the time), but I do know a person or two who will just not stop talking. (I'm assuming they are also extroverts based on their personality traits. So, those few people are why I was posing the question in the first place. LOL.)

 

Yes, I agree, but I can't think of any introverts who talk your ear off. The only people I know who do that are extroverts. I am a true introvert; people are tiring to me. I love to have a good, deep conversation, but, like Wendy K said upthread, it takes me a long time to determine that I am willing to be open with a particular person. I think many or most introverts spend a lot of time in their heads and are unlikely to talk until they have first thought about the matter a lot.

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I'm an introvert, with an extrovert husband, and one very extroverted child and one sort of introverted child. Yes, extroverts can be exhausting!

 

But, oddly enough, sometimes in a social situation I can talk too much if I'm not careful, just because I'm trying too hard.

 

My most ideal day is one where everyone leaves the house except me, and the house is clean! Ha, that doesn't happen often. Like once every three years.

 

My next best ideal day is one where I don't have to leave the house. This happens probably once every 2 1/2 weeks, although after about a week straight of places to go daily, I start to feel rather desperate.

 

3-4 times a year I lock myself in our RV for a personal retreat. My goal is not to interact with ANYONE for 2 1/2 days. Most of the time I don't quite reach that, but at least my DH does not allow my children to bother me. (The RV is usually parked at our house, because that's the cheapest and easiest, LOL.) I use this time for spiritual renewal and curriculum planning.

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I am like my dad. He is probably a more extreme introvert than I am. How they EVER got together is mystifying to me.

 

Now I know why he used to come home from work and shut himself in his bedroom. :lol:

 

 

I am that strange creature :)

 

My DH is an introvert.

 

It works so well b/c I don't have to compete with him, lol. He is a great listener, so I can talk and talk and talk w/o him wanting to get a word in edge wise.

 

When we go to parties/social gatherings, he doesn't have to worry about small talk with strangers too much b/c I take care of it, them some :) It would bug me if I had to wait on him to stop talking before I could talk....

 

He has no desire to go out with other guys, like, at all. So, we don't have to take turns going out with our friends. He is always ready and willing to stay with the kids while I go out on a MNO.

 

He loves that he doesn't have to exert any effort on social gatherings, field trips, family visits, vacations, etc. but he still gets the pleasure of experiencing them :)

 

I like that I get to make all the decisions about those things and that he happily goes along with the flow.

 

It's perfect!!!

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But, oddly enough, sometimes in a social situation I can talk too much if I'm not careful, just because I'm trying too hard.

 

My most ideal day is one where everyone leaves the house except me, and the house is clean! Ha, that doesn't happen often. Like once every three years.

 

 

:iagree: Yes, yes!

 

I can go on and on and on in a conversation with someone I'm not really comfortable with because it's so far out of my comfort zone, so I share too much, ask too many blunt questions, and babble incessantly. It's ridiculous (and yes, afterwards, my face DOES hurt! lol) - I become a bumbling, babbling, baboon. :001_unsure: It's much better with people I AM comfortable with, because I love that companionable silence that is able to happen and I can relax and gather my thoughts to put together a coherent sentence.

 

And double-ditto the ideal day. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And on those ultra-rare occasions when I manage to not have anything scheduled for anyone and can stay at home for an entire weekend?!? The BEST!!

 

My husband used to be extremely extroverted, but we've been together a long, long time and my hermit ways have rubbed off on him to the point where he's a solid 50/50. :p

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My dh and I are both middle of the road types, but I lean more toward extroversion and he leans more toward introversion. I think a lot that had to do with the fact that he has to talk to people all day and, well, I talk to you guys. ;)

 

I am definitely someone who has to "talk out loud" to process things. But, it causes me an extreme amount of anxiety when it is emotionally painful. So...that is sort of a conundrum.

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First of all, Quill, I'm so glad your mom is doing well! She sounds adorable and exhausting ;) :lol: :grouphug:

 

 

My question for extroverts who like to talk, talk, talk all day -- doesn't your face get tired? :laugh: I've seriously sat there wondering that sometimes w/ certain people I'm around. (Uh, yeah, that's when it gets to the point in the one-way conversation when I'm tuning out because I can't take the interaction any more & I just see their jaw moving, and moving, and moving... and then I start wondering why it never gets tired. I guess because it's exercised so much...?) :tongue_smilie:

 

And, yes, if I talk too much in one day, my face will actually hurt. Any other introverts out there who have that same problem?

 

Quill, glad to hear that your mom is doing so well. :grouphug: to both of you.

 

Stacia, I get hoarse! If we attend a get-together with friends, I have no voice left the next day. I guess the old "use it or lose it" adage applies to vocal cords, too :lol: .

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