skimomma Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Etiquette is a little social contract that helps to insure that everyone can be comfortable in any situation. And part of that task is *absolutely* to *not* point out faux pas, but make everyone comfortable. For example, the flag code was changed several years ago. It used to be you were to stand at attention when the national anthem is played, *not* put your hand over your heart. Now, everyone is supposed to salute during the national anthem (a military salute or putting your hand over your heart). So, there is some confusion, not everyone gets it right. For that reason, the understanding among Army wives is that you so whatever the senior lady present does. If you all look the same, then nobody looks wrong. Ah! That explains that. I have been meaning to look this up. At every sporting event my dd participates in, I have this awkward moment because half the people salute during the anthem and half don't. And I'm always thinking I HAVE TO LOOK THIS UP WHEN I GET HOME!!!! Then I forget. And yes on the first part. I don't care what the attire is supposed to be for a wedding as long as it is clear. The loss of this clarity results in the wedding couple getting a hundred clarification phone calls and another hundred guests who show up it the very-wrong and potentially uncomfortable clothing because we have lost too much etiquette know-how. I am a very casual person so if I were planning a wedding, I would not care what people chose to wear. But in order to make everyone feel comfortable, I would likely add a "casual attire" note to either the invite (yes, breach of etiquette) or through a strong word-of-mouth network with special care taken to inform out-of-the-loop guests. In days of yore, this message could reliably be transmitted with simple invitation cues that everyone just knew how to read (time of day, location, length of event, etc....). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Do they REALLY mean black tie or do they just want men to wear black ties....yes, someone I know made this mistake and was perplexed as to why people were grumbling over black tie attire for a 10am wedding. She thought that all men wearing black ties would make the photos more "matchy." She took it literally....wear a black tie. :svengo: :001_huh: :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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