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Has anyone ever just picked up and moved?


mamakelly
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We are so tired of living in San Diego. We sre struggling to make ends meet, pulling money from DH's 401k to supplement his new lower paying job, (he was laid off almost a year ago) to live on. We are just more and more tired of the rat race. We are considering packing everything up and moving. No plan, not sure where just moving. We had friends that did it about 5 years ago, and at the time we thought they were crazy. But now I totally get where thy were coming from. Anyone ever just up and leave? LOL. I know it sounds nuts.

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We did. We had some things we wanted reprieve from, so moved away for five years. We didn't know we'd be back after a time; we thought it was for good. All the same, we out our house on the market, packed everything up and moved. It was fun! Some challenges, too, but that's life.

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We did. Family thought we were crazy. Now they're saying, "You aren't ever coming back, are you?" Nope, we left suburbia and moved to the country. We're homesteading it and loving it.

 

It was a very stressful transition. Lots of unknowns. Lots of unsolicited advice.

 

But here we are 18 months later and the kids are thriving. DH is happy happy happy. Me too. :)

 

Make a plan. And then vote on it. And get ready to pull the trigger.

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Sort of. With 30 days notice, we wrote a letter to the bank telling them we wanted to hand over the deed in lieu of foreclosure, meet with a rental company and signed a lease, and moved 30 minutes away. It was the best thing we've ever done. (We had healthy and safety issues with where we were living.)

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We did too. We have issues with a stalker and my daughter. Police were no help and I was not going to chance something happening to my kid. So, when we drove 600 miles for a homeschool trip to visit battlefields I happened to look on Craigslist and found a home for sale. I went to look at it, made and offer and then called my DH to let him know lol.. My kids and I moved within a few months after doing a little touch-up work on the house, then my DH followed a year later, with no job, just a leap of faith. He was able to find a job in less than a month. Our cost of living is SO much cheaper, we wish we had done this years earlier.

 

No regrets and I would never move back. We also escaped suburbia for the country and it was the best move we have ever made. The laws here are much better all around, and fit our lifestyle. And did I mention the cost of living is MUCH less???

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I always wanted to but dh was entrenched in his job. Now the kids are older and slowly moving out and building their own lives. It would be hard to leave them behind. I'd say if you want to do it, do it now. The older your kids are the hard it gets.

 

 

BTW, I have friends who up and moved across country without a job or real firm plans... just knew they wanted a big change. It was hard and the adjustment wasn't as easy as they thought it would be, but overall they are happy they did it.

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We did it. Almost 7 years ago and have never looked back. My dh even switched job industries - came out one weekend and found a new job, a new house, and we moved within a month. We were also in Southern California and just sick of it. My brother is doing the same thing next week with his family of 5 (soon to be 6!) although he was able to keep the same job and just transfer to a new state. They are in escrow on a house to close this Wednesday and my SIL has never even been there! It's crazy, but it can be done!

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We are so tired of living in San Diego. ... We are just more and more tired of the rat race. We are considering packing everything up and moving.

 

You totally lost me at "tired of living in San Diego." :huh:

Tired of the rat race? :blink: In San Diego? :001_unsure:

But... But... But we were thinking of leaving the rat race here and packing up and moving to San Diego.

I am tired of "here." I am tired of owning a home and everything that goes with it.

A little cottage (no matter how overpriced) within walking distance to the beach sounds so heavenly right now.

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We did. We were living in Oregon, the company Dh was working for was dishonest about their financial situation when they hired him so the first order of business after we arrived their from Indiana was for them to announce that he was going to get a big pay cut because, oops, they couldn't afford what they had promised. We had already purchased a house.

 

So, we rented a moving truck, got rid of anything we absolutely didn't need to keep, signed a limited POA over to a realtor so when the house sold, he could sign for us at closing, and headed out. We had been in the state a whole six months.

 

Ended up briefly with dh's family while he put his resume out there and went on some interviews. He accepted a job in Michigan and since his family was in Florida, that meant another long haul. But, again, we were living in their spare bedroom so had not accumulated more things. It was a no brainer to hit the road again.

 

Faith

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Oh, we've also decided this is not where we want to land permanently, though seven years ago, we thought it was.

 

My parents health is poor enough that ten years from now, I doubt I will have either of them and MIL is 77 and none of the women on either side of her family have lived past 83. So, it's pretty doubtful that we will have elderly relatives to look after. We've decided that we will probably go to North Carolina. We've scoped out some areas we like, still have the change of seasons that we enjoy and the opportunity to garden a large variety of vegetables and fruits, but a shorter winter, and since most of our kids will be in professions where their best chance of employment is east coast or even overseas, we'll either be closer to them, or at least in the area we are looking, closer to an international airport. Michigan is not, our opinion, going to economically recover within a decade, so we'd like out.

 

We are planning on taking only my piano and the other musical instruments, the electronics, kitchenwares, and a couple of antiques. We'll start out fairly fresh once we get there. To us, it sounds like heaven. I hope it will be!

 

Faith

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I did. Back in my single days. I did all the time. I moved to São Paulo, Brasil on (sort of) a whim to teach at a missionary school. Came back after a couple years, moved to the Bay Area of California, then got tired of that and moved back to the Fresno area, which is home. I loved doing that. Now, I have too many other people to be responsible for. And DH is NOT the "just pick up and move" type of guy. :) so, here we stay.

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We did. 15 years ago, we were in the same situation as you --- only we were in the SF Bay Area.

 

We moved across the country. We had no house to move into, so we stayed with my mil for about 6 weeks, Dh had no job lined up. And I blew up the engine in our family vehicle a week before we were going to drive here, so we junked that, sold dh's pickup, and flew out here instead.

 

So, yeah -- we just picked up and moved.

 

There have been lots of ups and downs, but overall, I don't regret it. (Don't tell my Mom -- she still thinks I'm a traitor, LOL.)

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My parents did. But I think they regretted it. I got married and about 2 years later my dad lost his job and couldn't get another, so they up and left in a truck and drove 2500 miles away to a tiny town in New Mexico. They found an apartment and odd jobs as kitchen help and started over. Eventually my dad got a job as a xerox repair guy.

 

I dunno. I think some days they're ok with the decision amd some days they're not. It was such a whim. If you're going to do it think it through and be sure you're ok with leaving everyone behind. If there is no one you would miss, then that's fine. But people can't always be replaced and when you move, there's a high chance any relationships you have with friends/family will be either completely ended or at least changed forever.

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You totally lost me at "tired of living in San Diego." :huh:

Tired of the rat race? :blink: In San Diego? :001_unsure:

But... But... But we were thinking of leaving the rat race here and packing up and moving to San Diego.

I am tired of "here." I am tired of owning a home and everything that goes with it.

A little cottage (no matter how overpriced) within walking distance to the beach sounds so heavenly right now.

 

 

So sorry to burst your bubble, LOL! Don't get me wrong, I was born in Southern California. I've lived here my whole life. It's lovely, we love the beach, but we pay $$ dearly for it. My house was 580,000 (eek). It's really nothing fancy or beautiful. We can barely afford it. I'd love a little cottage near the beach too, but that will cost you a pretty penny.

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We are in San Diego also, and I really do get where you are coming from. I'm sure any place can get annoying, and I go back and forth on this place, but I find it too busy, too many people, not enough winter for my taste, and homes are way too expensive while being on top of each other. We make a decent income and still it's hard to get ahead because it is just so ridiculously expensive.

 

I personally wouldn't just leave without at least having a job though. I'm way too "safe" for that. DH will hit year 20 with the military in the next eight months, and he is heavily looking for his next career. I love the idea of Colorado, and that is where he is from, but things about there scare me also (lack of water being one...I'm a worrier).

 

I do wish there was one place that jumped out at me as "perfect" but I guess no place is. Many people would name San Diego as their perfect spot. I'm not a beach person, and I miss the seasons, so I feel we are paying for something we don't want!

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I dunno. I think some days they're ok with the decision amd some days they're not. It was such a whim. If you're going to do it think it through and be sure you're ok with leaving everyone behind. If there is no one you would miss, then that's fine. But people can't always be replaced and when you move, there's a high chance any relationships you have with friends/family will be either completely ended or at least changed forever.

 

 

This is definitely something to consider! We left family and I will be honest and say that relationships are not the same. That being said, we moved to provide a better life for our immediate family. In CA, we were both working ridiculous hours, we were in a teeny, tiny apartment, we couldn't make ends meet, etc. Now that we have moved, I am able to stay comfortably home with the kids (when I say comfortable, I mean just that, we aren't living with fancy new cars and smartphones and such) we were able to purchase our own home, I can stay home and homeschool the kids, we got out of debt, etc. Turns out, though, the family we left is having just as hard of a time living and had we stayed, we probably would all be working so much we wouldn't see each other much anyway. Who knows, you can't predict the future. We didn't regret it, but moving will impact relationships for sure.

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We did - twice. We moved from VA to FL just because we were young and wanted to (no kids at the time). We took a vacation there, hubby found a job, and the company moved us down - no packing at all on our part. We had to unpack though.

 

Then, 5 years and 3 kids later we decided we missed winter and wanted to be closer to the grandparents, so we took another vacation to see where we'd want to move to, picked PA, hubby found another job, and the company moved us here. Not one single regret either time.

 

Then the boys started getting older and getting entrenched in their "home" area. Hubby started his own business. So now, we're here and have been for 17 years now. BUT... oldest is a senior next year and will likely head to college the year after. Hubby and I are seriously wondering what we want to do at that point. We kind of like being nomads.

 

FWIW, we've had more than our share of people moving here from CA and other high COL areas in the past few years... Comparatively, we're less expensive and folks seem to like the semi-rural nature of our area (near Gettysburg, PA). I've started to wonder if CA is losing population rather than gaining it.

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When we were unemployed for a year, we did the whole "Let's move!" thing to come out here. We never seen this city, grabbed the first available apartment, got a job at the biggest company and it's been a success for almost 5 years now. We will be doing this again but with a slight plan, only because if I didn't have an idea of where I was going to live, I might be a bit stressed. We have the rental already, even though we have never seen it. I hear it is a nice place from a family member. We are applying for jobs in hopes we will have one when we move in September (yes, we have a rental 3 months early) but if not, we have enough to survive for a month or two. My sisters think we are nuts. Honestly, we are leaving behind a very good paying job and pretty good insurance to live a quieter life surrounded by more family and friends. Eventually, I will lure my sisters to move over to where I will move to, but they do like it over here.

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We just did it, we left CA at Easter and are staying with family, I found a job pretty quick once I got serious about it, pays above min wage and I'm working 32 hours a week at this point. I've been home for 9 years taking care of kids so my previous line of work is kinda out of date. Were moving once more hopefully this summer to be closer to work since I'm commuting an hour each way right now. I'd say go for it!

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Yep, a few times. In fact my parents left San Diego when I was 7 (the middle of 5) because California was plain too expensive. They went to Idaho, where they knew no one and had never even visited. Best decision they ever made, they will tell anyone.

 

Then my husband and I left Idaho (where there were few jobs in his field) to Washington. Best decision we ever made too, or at least pretty high on the list. My best friend came here from Chicago under similar circumstances. People do it all the time.

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I was born and raised in Los Angeles. I loved going to the beach, to the mountains, etc., but the SMOG, the TRAFFIC and the COL... I wanted out… I ended up living in North Central Texas for 28 years. No beaches, no mountains, but far more relaxed, fresh air and a very low COL… Two years after my early retirement, I came here, on a lark. My plan, at that time, was to move to Cancun, Mexico, and I had also considered moving to Venezuela. I never thought about moving to Colombia, but I’ve been here for 18 years now…

 

I have cousins in CA and possibly an Aunt and Uncle there are still alive and I would love to take my wife and DD to the San Diego Zoo and many other places there.

 

You need to do this, before the 401K is depleted. If that runs out, you are in very deep stuff, because that $ is subsidizing your living costs at this time.

 

GL with your decision!

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I'd actually like more weather fluctuations. DH not so much haha. I would like to see actual weather changes. We do have a house, but we would not sell it. We would rent it out for the first year or two then maybe sell it. I don't really shop the farmers markets here, they are soooo expensive. Fun to walk around, but pricey to buy.

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I'd actually like more weather fluctuations. DH not so much haha. I would like to see actual weather changes. We do have a house, but we would not sell it. We would rent it out for the first year or two then maybe sell it. I don't really shop the farmers markets here, they are soooo expensive. Fun to walk around, but pricey to buy.

 

Renting first is a good plan. Both times we moved we rented a house first at our destination in order to get to know the area to know where we'd want to buy. When we left FL and owned our house there we rented it for a couple of years to be sure we liked PA and didn't want to go back. The rent covered the mortgage with enough left over for repairs, so it worked out well.

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Sometimes I want to, and leave the stuff behind!

 

Sorry you're having a tough time. I can understand the reluctance to move, especially if you have family, friends and connections in San Diego.

 

Maybe we could do a house swap? Do you think you'd enjoy the cold Canadian winters? I think I could handle warm temperatures for a few years.

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We did it many years ago. My dh was in a job he hated and really wanted to make a career change. He was offered a job in the field he wanted, but it came with a 50% pay cut and a cross country move. He was gone in two weeks, the kids and I followed about two months later. We moved into a 200 year old house that needed a lot of work in an area with a higher cost of living than where we had been, and even though it was small-town people weren't very friendly. To say that it was hard would be an understatement, but I look back over those years now and see the tremendous amount of growth that took place in our family. We left there after three years and moved to a place that we absolutely loved, but when we sit around and tell family stories, I notice that many of the best stories took place in those three years where things were really tough.

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:001_smile:

You totally lost me at "tired of living in San Diego." :huh:

Tired of the rat race? :blink: In San Diego? :001_unsure:

But... But... But we were thinking of leaving the rat race here and packing up and moving to San Diego.

I am tired of "here." I am tired of owning a home and everything that goes with it.

A little cottage (no matter how overpriced) within walking distance to the beach sounds so heavenly right now.

 

My sister and her husband had an opportunity with work and they packed up and moved outside of Seattle. They never looked back. They love it!

 

I dream of doing this someday. California living is not the fantasy that most think. Everything is so expensive it leaves little to do anything else. We have seen our neighborhood steadily decline since the housing bubble burst. The budget woes here are not going to be over anytime soon.

 

I live inland and would also love the opportunity to walk daily on the beach. It would definitely be heavenly! :001_smile:

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you asked if we'd ever done it.... well, the answer is yes and no.

 

i have moved overseas on two weeks notice - twice!

i have emigrated to the usa on two weeks notice - once.

and we moved every year for five years due to work.

 

but - there has always been a job and a house/apartment at the other end first.

i think, but don't know, that i could do it with a job and no house, but the fact that we've moved seven times having both in place first is a clue ;).

 

good luck!

ann

 

ps. flip side, from Buckaro Banzai: "Wherever you go, there you are".... sometimes just transforming how we live where we already are changes everything for us. we've been in the same house now for sixteen years, but we've changed how we live here radically three times now, and it has made all the difference.

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We did. Twice. Both times with a newborn. Looking back, I kinda regretted the first move, but it had some serious benefits to erase that regret. I just miss the state we moved from, but we needed to be in the state we moved to. The second time we moved to a prettier city in the same state. I don't regret that one bit.

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Periodically a relative talks about walking on their mortgage and moving "west to the middle of no where."

 

Well, I've lived in a place like that, and it has it's downsides. Few jobs, poor medical care, and trouble getting good services like car and house repairs.

 

There are plenty of parts of the country that are more balanced, IMHO. Moving to a place with decent employment, a reasonable cost of living, and basic services would be an option IMHO. Otherwise, nope.

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I can relate about Southern California being too expensive When I was single I moved from PA to Los Angeles. It was a very difficult adjustment. I thought I'd go back home after 4 years, but ended up staying in L.A. for 17 years. We moved to Michigan 6 years ago & the cost of living is much lower We have had so many trials since we moved here, completely unrelated to the location, but I am glad to be out of Los Angeles I miss the sunshine and the beaches and our friends, and things to do there, but I don't miss the smog, the stress, the traffic, the materialism.

 

That said, although we were excited to move here, and I enjoy meeting new people, it was extremely stressful on our family. I wouldn't recommend moving without a plan and it's best if you have at least one friend or relative in your new area. It's so hard to transition when you don't know anyone at all.

 

And as much as the slower small town life looks appealing to some, it's very hard to break in socially in a small town. Many who have stayed in our semi-rural area have family & friends going back decades, and no matter how nice they are, they usually aren't looking for new friends. Holidays have been very lonely here. We have no family here, and our friends spend holidays with their own families. In California we had enough friends without familiy members around that we usually had them over for the holidays. So choose some place that has more people moving in and out. You are most likely to make new friends with someone new to the area.

 

Also consider the culture of the area. Are you your family going to fit in and enjoy it? What things are important to you and are you likely to find people you have something in common with in your new community? When we first moved here, there seemed to be many boys my son's age in our homeschool community. Now, not so much I don't know where they all went.

 

I've been here 6 years and even though we have a great homeschool group and church, I still feel very lonely here. It's not easy moving and it's harder the older you get. It's definitely easier if you already know someone in the area.

 

Just sharing some of what I learned.

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Several times. We used to have more flexibility. The first time was for an unpaid internship when we were in college. We didn't have a place to live for the 3 months we planned to be there and only took what we could fit in our car. We found a place to live and it all worked out. We did move back to our college town for our senior year but 1 year later we were moving across the country this time with a newborn. We had no job lined up, just an apartment and acceptance to a grad school. After 10 months there we picked up and moved with our 1 year old for an entire summer for a paid internship. We then went back "home" and 4 years after that moved to another state. Husband had a job, but no place to live. He lived in a tent for 3 weeks, while the kids and I (5, 3, & 6 months) put our house on the market and hubby found us a rental place. We are currently job searching in 2 different cities and hope to move away from this state within the next year to two honestly. I'm thinking we might just be nomads... but honestly we just miss our church so I can see us staying in one of our two cities for a long time, unless something drastic moves us away... this coming from a woman who has packed up everything and moved 10 times in the past 8 years. lol.

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We did 2 years ago. Dh got his master's degree in a field with few jobs (I know ...) especially in Oregon, and we started looking out of state well before graduation. He flew to Alaska for a job fair and was hired before he completed his program. We sold a bunch of stuff, packed up the essentials into a trailer, and stored the rest in our attic. We rented out our house and had a lady down the street collect rent for us. We drove to Alaska in a truck w/ trailer and lived in furnished housing in the middle of nowhere (tiny native village) for a year. That was .... well someday I will appreciate it more, but for now I can just say that it was a steppingstone to better opportunities :). The "spirit of adventure" got us to the first February. Then I thought we were crazy and wanted to move back "home." Last summer we moved to an actual town and brought the rest of our stuff up in a U-Haul. I was pretty happy after we moved into town until the next February, when about 20 crazy & terrible things happened in a row while my husband was out of state. Then I was ready to move back "home" to Oregon where we have a lot of family support and actual friends. I decided to stay one more year so my daughter doesn't have to move again. I am getting more comfortable in this town, but I really don't fit in here at all. We don't have anything in common with the homeschoolers, and there aren't many activities to meet public schoolers. We are renting a huge house and have to decide next summer if we are going to buy it. I am scared to put down roots, and this house has a lot of quirks (realized during our HEAT WAVE this week that we can't get hot water if the furnace isn't running). So this year my daughter will finish out high school and my husband will be in Afghanistan, and next spring we will decide whether to buy this house, buy another house in the area, or move to another state.

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Many times. Always loved it. Our latest was last June. My sister told us that Paris was awesome in April and we flew there the first of June. Been loving it. Expect stuff to be up in the air a bit and enjoy the journey. It's normal to hit a low and compare the new place negatively to your last home after the first month of excitement wares off. It passes and the experience is awesome for kids.

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We did, but to China, where the living expenses were extremely low, and with a small amount of consulting income still guaranteed. In this economic climate, and within countries still struggling to emerge from a slump, I wouldn't do it without a job.

 

ETA: we upped and moved several other times too, but those were either without kids or with jobs to go to.

 

L

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