DandelionPrincess Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I'm at my wits end here. My son literally starts crying every time i don't write 100% on his paper, whether it be math, or handwriting, or whatever. This all started because we are using Soaring with Spelling, and we skipped several weeks worth of words because he got "100%" on the pretests. (no use in doing the work to "learn" words he already knew, right?) So now whenever he doesn't get 100% on a pretest he cries, and negotiates that maybe if he fixes how they are spelled he can get 100% then, right mommy? I didn't make a HUGE deal about him getting 100% on the pretests, and i praise him for getting them all right on the final tests (which he does every time) after he's learned the new words, but it's never been THAT big of a deal, but it is for him. I really REALLY don't want my kid basing his successes on whether or not he gets "them all right" or not, and i don't want to arbitrarily give him the 100% just to avoid crying. My other problem is, he generally gets "100%" on most things he does, so I can't even just start grading his work and that way he gets a % for each page, and then he can just aim for 100, you know? I know other accelerated kids are like this, so how do you deal with it????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 You could stop using the number system and so something different. There are a lot of ways to assign a grade, a rubric, or handle a discussion over turned in work or effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 There are some posts in this thread on the Davidson board that might be helpful, though perhaps not with the immediate problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I would stop giving feedback in this form. I've never "graded" my kids' work. I look at it, circle ones that are incorrect and ask them to "look at that one again". If nothing is incorrect, we just move on. One of my kids is very sensitive to this, as well, so I understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 If he is getting 100% that often, he is not working at a challenging enough level. I have explained to my kids that the brain is a muscle. It has to *work* to get stronger. Getting 100% is great, but when we ALWAYS get 100%, we know that our muscle (brain) isn't getting stronger. Getting some wrong shows that we are working at a level that is allowing us to strengthen our brain. Rinse. Repeat. It will get better. My oldest is 9, and at this point I rarely give % or grade. If I mark a paper at all it is with a star or smiley face. If your dc is older, it might be wise to use some sort of grading system, but I would drop it all together if we are talking about a younger (under 12) child. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 If a kid gets always 100%, the curriculum is too easy, but once a kid is conditioned to always get a perfect, he may consider anything less a personal failure. DD had a low frustration tolerance as a young child and would be upset if something was not perfect. What helped was to put her in situations where she would not succeed at first try: piano lessons, training a horse, challenging academics. The only way to master an instrument or a sport is to practice, and this gives the experience that practice improves performance. IMO, this is one of the most important lessons for a gifted student to learn. So, I wish you strong nerves and the persistence not to give in. Give him the gift of failure. ETA: I do not believe that changing the assessment form a percentage to the number of incorrects circled or similar gimmicks will fundamentally change anything. For my DD, it was wanting to get everything correct , and whether the imperfect paper would have been marked 90% or 18/20 or B or "quite good" would not have changed her realization that she made mistakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I don't give grades, but I try to give them sufficiently challenging material in most subjects that they work at about 80%. We just don't do perfect. :tongue_smilie: However, because of its nature spelling (finite and essentially devoid of analysis) isn't included. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I have been telling dd8 for a long time that if she gets 100% every time, then the work is too easy. She went through a period where she would get pretty upset and cry when she didn't get 100%. I would just remind her that the work she was doing was X years beyond her age, and that the only way she could get better scores would be to make it easier. But she definitely did not want easier work. She was proud of the fact that she was doing advanced work. I also don't grade anything except spelling tests. For math, we just go over the things she did wrong, but I don't mark anything right or wrong. Same for WWE. I definitely agree with the PP that said that if he is getting 100% on everything, he is not sufficiently challenged. I went through school always getting 100% on everything, and when I got to college and actually had to work at getting a good grade, I really struggled. One of the great things about homeschooling is that you can meet a child where he is at without regard to their age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I reward a sticker for a page completed with best effort (not necessarily everything right). It sounds like that might work for him. He can correct his errors and get a sticker for enthusiasm and hard work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DandelionPrincess Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 Thank you for all of the support :) We're in the process of "skimming" through his books to find where he is at for a challenge (i've just found that in SM Challenging word problems, he FINALLY asks for help with it, and says "OHHHH" when i suggest a different way of looking at it). So i know a lot of it is too easy at this point, and hopefully we'll get there soon, though probably by the time i get him all set in everything, he'll be complaining his math is too easy again. *sigh* such is life, right? I like the sticker idea, getting a sticker as long as he tries. I make him fix any errors anyways on math or if his handwriting is sloppy. We are also in another transition: He just got glasses for the first time with a strong farsighted prescription, so EVERYTHING is affected. Thank you again, i'm going to push further ahead in his work and i'll just keep explaining to him that he is working his brain with stuff that he doesn't already know (just like his eyes) lol. Maybe this will all work together nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 One idea from the G-D Italics book I read. For the letters that weren't up to standards, they suggested writing a dot near it. Then, the kid could erase it and write in another one. When it was a good example, the circle would be changed to a star. But, why grade a pre-test? I always thought pre-tests were to find where to start in a book. If you already know you are going to go over the material anyway, then just go fast. Take test. Go over what is missed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kohlby Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 We don't do grades. My oldest does do spelling pretests though. They're supposed to be the post-tests but by now, he's pretty good at spelling and ready to be done so this speeds up the process. (We actually skipped them before this since testing wasn't really needed). I don't even tell him how many he gets wrong. I just mark down which spelling lessons we need to do after the pre-test and then start in on the lessons the next day. Initially we did all the spelling lessons. But I also use it for handwriting so it's okay if some is too easy that way. My oldest needed more work on his handwriting than spelling so it worked out. (It wasn't graded still. If it was too messy or incorrect, he fixed it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DandelionPrincess Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 the pre-tests are to see what he needs to work on (this is a spelling book) and we had to skip several "weeks" worth of words because he got them all right on the pre-test, and so why spend the time "learning" these words when he clearly knows them? That's where the trouble began, with him getting to skip stuff because he already knew it. With the pre-tests, he has to correct the ones he got wrong (for example, today he spelled dew as dow, and had to correct it. He cried because he got it wrong.) -sigh- We have just been telling him that he is trying his best, and it doesn't mean anything if he gets them all right versus not getting them all right, because he's LEARNING, and if it was too easy then he would never learn anything. It's good to "stretch" your brain. It's a long a frustrating process, especially because i don't grade ANYTHING else that he does. He just wants to do REALLY WELL in everything, which in a way is good, but also a bit detrimental to the whole it's-okay-to-fail mentality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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