Jean in Newcastle Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I know there will be a very wide variety of opinions on this but I was hoping that a. typing this out will help me figure out what I think and b. having a variety of opinions will help me to (again) figure out what I think and am comfortable with. Dd11 is starting to branch out in her reading. This is a very good thing since just last month I was lamenting how her reading choices were not challenging. She brought me 4 books to review. Two of the books were historical fiction dealing with WWII and the Nazis. I OK'd them. One book is about how a girl tries to save a possessed friend. Possessed by a ghost. This is not a Caspar the Friendly Ghost kind of book. I vetoed it. The last book has me on the fence. It is about abuse - a boy is brain damaged from physical abuse and the heroine is trying to protect him from further abuse. I opened the book to skim it and the first paragraph I glanced at talked about how the heroine is a "bastard" and how she wants to be real in using that word instead of "illegitimate". I vetoed this book. But dd11 is giving me some flack about the veto and wants reasons. What do you think about this sort of subject matter? I mean, here I am saying yes to books about the Nazis but not child abuse? The books I ok'd: "The Midnight Zoo" by Sonya Hartnett "Stepping on the Cracks" by Mary Downing Hahn. The books I vetoed: "Wait Til Helen Comes" by Mary Downing Hahn "Watching Jimmy" by Nancy Hartry Opinions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I do not censor books (except for books whose sole purpose is graphic violence or sex) If I did censor, I would have a hard time justifying why I consider the Nazis and WWII more appropriate than child abuse or ghosts (which I do not believe to exist) I also do not censor words. My children are aware that not all words characters use in books (or films) are appropriate for them to use; this concept is not difficult for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I do not censor books (except for books whose sole purpose is graphic violence or sex) If I did censor, I would have a hard time justifying why I consider the Nazis and WWII more appropriate than child abuse or ghosts (which I do not believe to exist) I also do not censor words. My children are aware that not all words characters use in books (or films) are appropriate for them to use; this concept is not difficult for them. I agree with this although it has caused me some heartburn and second guessing over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 But dd11 is giving me some flack about the veto and wants reasons. What do you think about this sort of subject matter? I mean, here I am saying yes to books about the Nazis but not child abuse? Opinions? And welcome to the logic stage. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Jean, this is such a hard age with regards to reading material (and lots of other things!). I don't like books that deal with vampires and boy/girl relationships (together). My daughter self-regulates. She doesn't mind some language and some romance, but not a lot. I ask her to consider the reason for the language and see if it is necessary for the plot. Language and romance for the effect just don't go over big here. But,of course, at this age all this stuff is being explored, so it is better explored in a book than real life. I just have to spend quite a bit of time talking and asking questions. The ones I really don't like and she does not read are horror and graphic violence. She is sensitive and this will keep her from sleeping for several days. She can read some, but only during the day, never taking some books to bed with her. I hope this helps some. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Whatever is worthy, whatever is true... Truth (Nazis) = fine. Words to shock in a story = not fine. Several years ago, we watched some 80's movies and were shocked by the number of bad words in otherwise worthy stories. One sentence in one movie, I laughed because they had to work so hard to get a bad word in, it totally did not go with the flow of the sentence. We actually permitted at ages 2 and 5 a few 80's movies that we won't now at 8 and 11 because we felt the words would go over their heads at a young age but not now. While violence in movies had gotten worse overall, language has improved overall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaughingCat Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Did you skim the WWII books? Stepping on the Cracks looks like it has an abuse theme as much as a WWII theme (based solely on reading Amazon blurbs - don't know anything about it otherwise). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'm looking up reviews now. I don't know why it is second nature to look up movie reviews but I didn't even think of looking up book reviews! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freerange Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 I don't censor or veto. I do try to provide information to help them choose for themselves. For example, last year I was reading The Other Boleyn Girl and DD1 asked if she could read it when I'd finished with it. Having read it, I was able to tell her that there were some scenes she wouldn't be comfortable reading and that it might be better left for at least a couple of years. The hardest part was trying to convey to her the level and nature of the passages without giving away the plot! But,of course, at this age all this stuff is being explored, so it is better explored in a book than real life. I just have to spend quite a bit of time talking and asking questions. :iagree: Talk, talk, talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 The last book has me on the fence. It is about abuse - a boy is brain damaged from physical abuse and the heroine is trying to protect him from further abuse. I opened the book to skim it and the first paragraph I glanced at talked about how the heroine is a "bastard" and how she wants to be real in using that word instead of "illegitimate". I vetoed this book. But dd11 is giving me some flack about the veto and wants reasons. What do you think about this sort of subject matter? I mean, here I am saying yes to books about the Nazis but not child abuse? I don't think that word would be a dealbreaker here, but I would point out that it's not something to repeat in front of company, and would have to explain what it means. If the idea of being illegitimate is a huge theme of the book, I'd probably say no for now, but if it's just mentioned at the start as part of defining the character, I'd be okay with it. As for the subject matter, I kind of understand where you're coming from: both are real, but the nazis are more "distant" and child abuse is possible to deal with today, so it's more comfortable to read about an unpleasant subject that you know you won't actually have to ever face. For that reason, though, I'd probably approve the child abuse book (assuming it's not graphic in description of what happened to the boy - I can't read that stuff myself), because I'd rather have my kids know that stuff is out there so they can keep their eyes open and develop some self-defense intuition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 6, 2013 Author Share Posted June 6, 2013 I ended up reading about a 1/3 of the child abuse book to myself. I still don't really like the book. More than the subject matter itself is the dark cynical voice it has. But I told dd that she could read it. The other book (the ghost one) she didn't seem to be all that interested in and had no problem at all putting aside so that became a non-issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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