Rewards / Privileges and limiting screen time - keeping track with multiple kids?

[tabinfl]

I have used point charts and similar in the past, with great success. This was with older (foster) children and specific behaviors we focused on, however.

 

Now I have children who understand the idea of earning (and losing) points, but I can't seem to manage our little household economy very well. When we have it going, the points seem to be a great motivator for both schoolwork and behavior changes. I can keep track of their "earnings" well enough, but I have trouble figuring out numbers that are fair -- challenging, but not out of reach. I am looking at things on a daily basis here, they have "saved up" for some bigger items but they are still a bit young (IMO) to be thinking a whole week ahead.

 

One of the big reward items right now is time playing on the ipad, and also TV shows, and this is where I run into problems. These are not things that I want to limit anyway, so whether or not points are tied to it I need to figure this out better. There are no older siblings in the picture to help monitor or manage.

 

I just don't know how to keep track of who has used how much of their game or TV time (and if more than one kid watches, do they all "pay" or just the one who picked it?). Three separate timers? I've seen the gadget with three timers and a base station, but it doesn't seem to have very good reviews for reliability. I suppose three kitchen timers would work... has anyone tried this? Do I set specific TV and/or game times, and limit it to those times of the day?

 

I know I'm probably overthinking this, but when I've tried the timers I have kids saying they want to "pause" their time and use the rest later -- which I don't really want to discourage, but with three who aren't entirely independent it gets to be a lot to manage. Typing this out makes it sound so easy, but when I try to do it things go fine for a few days and then it (well, *I*) fall apart.

 

Any tips, especially from moms of multiples or close-in-age kids, would be welcomed!

[redsquirrel]

Well, I don't think this will help much, but I just have a blanket screen time. So, at 4:30 they may have screen time. They have to turn all screens off at dinner time. Done. No argument. Easy to understand. If you have an activity that might interfere with screen time, too bad.

 

I don't like to spend my time bargaining, discussing, arguing about it. If you argue with my about it, you have to wait 5 mins until you can turn it on. I have never had to actually inflict that punishment. It's just so clear that they don't ask.

 

I have another friend who allows screen time only after the sun has set. It makes it really easy to answer the question "can we watch something?" All they have to do is look out the window. Another friend only allows it on weekends. From Friday after dinner until Sunday at dinnertime they can watch all they want.

[TraceyS/FL]

This has the ability to pay in times like that: http://www.jumpgapsoftware.com/iallowance/

 

As for setting the actual timer, I have my kids set it on the stove themselves. It helps - and if one is doing something that the other doesn't want to watch/do - you can so bet they are on them when it beeps! LOL!!

 

I also tend to say, "One episode of _______ ", or they might ask if their 30 minutes can be used for something 40 minutes, and I consider what it is before deciding.

 

iPad time i'd do in 15 minute increments to avoid the pausing thing. You also should be able to find a timer app for it that they can set to run in the background (or does it finally come with the clock app? my first gen didn't and it drives me crazy because I *like* the iOS clock app!).

 

Otherwise, good luck, and you are not alone in your struggles!

[MrsH]

I think that's SO hard, too. We have switched to having screen time at the end of the day (DS is in school so has homework, so usually I say that we can have screentime an hour after we get home, giving him time to finish). If anyone isn't done w/ their work then they don't get screen time. Usually the two youngers will each pick a show, while the older will be on her Touch. I lump those screens all together, for a max of one hour.

 

DS does get some time on reading eggs if he's all dressed and ready by 8am. The youngest can get some time on Starfall if she asks for it. The oldest sometime explores a website or something that's related to something she's studying. I don't count that stuff towards their one hour.

 

Many days we're out and about and don't watch any tv. Many other days, one of them has lost the privilege due to some sort of infraction. They mostly seem happy about it.

 

We do have a more positive system as well. Every time we notice a child doing something really well, and it's something that they're working on, they earn a bean into a communal jar. When the jar is full we'll do something fun as a family. It works well for "thank you, DD4, for coming when I asked you. You earn a bean. Whoa, look at that, DS7 and DD10 are here too, you all earn beans!" It's also FINALLY gotten us over a huge handwashing hurdle w/ one of them. Though the others don't get a bean for that, they get beans for things they're working on. Not sure if that makes sense, but it ends up working well for us.

[fairy4tmama]

Well, I don't think this will help much, but I just have a blanket screen time. So, at 4:30 they may have screen time. They have to turn all screens off at dinner time. Done. No argument. Easy to understand. If you have an activity that might interfere with screen time, too bad.

 

I don't like to spend my time bargaining, discussing, arguing about it. If you argue with my about it, you have to wait 5 mins until you can turn it on. I have never had to actually inflict that punishment. It's just so clear that they don't ask.

 

I have another friend who allows screen time only after the sun has set. It makes it really easy to answer the question "can we watch something?" All they have to do is look out the window. Another friend only allows it on weekends. From Friday after dinner until Sunday at dinnertime they can watch all they want.

This is pretty much what works for us after 5 M-F and mostly open on the weekend. I do, however, reserve the right to have some quite time on the weekend as our house is tiny. I have never had any luck with using media as a reward, it's just to much of a pita to manage.

GL

[Danielle1746]

Just wanted to say to the OP that the problems you describe are exactly the ones I am dealing with (or have given up dealing with), and my kids are older! :( So I am listening intently to the replies. Thanks for starting the thread!

[lea1]

We allow 30 minutes of a DVD/VHS movie and 15 minutes each of Kindle game playing time on weekdays. On weekends we allow one long movie and two 15 minutes of Kindle game time each. For the Kindle game time, they take turns playing and the one not playing sets the kitchen oven timer. They very seldom stop in the middle and use the rest of the time later. When they do, they are very good at keeping track of how much they have left but they have to use it the same day or they lose it. Sometimes we also set the timer for movie watching on weekdays because they will watch something that has episodes, such as old I Love Lucy or Gomer Pyle. If they are in the middle of an episode when the timer goes off, I let them finish it. They take turns picking what they are going to watch (by day, not by episode) and they both use their 30 minutes of movie time together. We don't allow one to pick something to watch for 30 minutes and then the other. If the one who doesn't get to pick does not like the movie chosen, he doesn't have to watch but he loses his 30 minutes of movie time for that day.

 

Often we use a rule that they have to do all of their school work without big fits or complaining or they will lose game or movie time (or both if it continues after multiple warnings and they have already lost games). I always take away games first because it is the one that I like them doing the least:) and it is easier to monitor. If one of them loses his movie time, I have to set the other one up in my bedroom and let him watch his movie in there, which I don't really like to do. My sons like to watch each other play their Kindle games almost as much as playing them so, if they lose their games because of fits during school, they also don't get to watch.