Heather in Neverland Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 It's that time of year again. The time when everyone starts posting cutesy secret messages on FB to "raise awareness" about breast cancer. All the wink-winks, and "don't tell the guys!" and all the other nonsense that goes with it. One year it was about bras and one year it was handbags and apparently this year it's about vacation destinations??? Please don't. Just don't. My friend has breast cancer. She just had a mastectomy. She is going through chemo. She has lost all of her hair. She is exhausted and vomiting. Now she has to have part of her thyroid removed and have radiation treatments. Her prognosis is not good. She has a 7yo little boy. These cutesy posts are, frankly, insulting to me. As you post secret messages on FB about your purse and your bra, etc., I am watching my friend waste away. It is even more insulting to my friend. There is nothing "cute" about breast cancer. These posts don't raise awareness they just make you feel better about yourself...like you are "helping" the cause. It's not helping. Just stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2myboys Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I am very sorry about your friend. :crying: Breast cancer hits close to home here too with several friends being survivors and one no longer with us. :crying: You are right. Nothing cute about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Also, sometimes you can't "save the ta-tas." Sometimes it's best NOT to save the ta-tas, and juvenile slogans that supposedly raise awareness make light of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I'm so sorry your friend is going through this. :( And I totally agree. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindi Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 How about the "repost" or "like" this if you are against breast cancer. Is there someone out there who is FOR breast cancer? And if I repost/like this, this will somehow help? Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Totally agree. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Yeah, I ignore those. I think they are in poor taste. Give a dollar to a find-a-cure cause, that provides much more value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I wholeheartedly agree and will pray for your friend. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Me too. Nothing funny about cancer. I lost my mother much too early to breast cancer and it is a terrible thing. Hugs to your friend and to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I'm sorry about your friend! I have three friends/acquaintances dealing with cancer (breast or other) in the past year. I would venture to say, though, that some of the cutesy things that you're talking about are likely started by, or at least passed on by, people who have or have had cancer (or by those close to them). This may be their way of dealing with the disease, while others who have or have had cancer deal in different ways. It's not all bad. For example, I could definitely see the 18yo daughter of a friend of mine who battled breast cancer last year pass this type of thing on via Facebook, and I wouldn't want her to feel like she did a "wrong" thing. She needs to do what she feels is necessary to promote awareness and support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I agree with Milovany. I had breast cancer in 2011. I personally dislike the cutesy stuff on the one hand; on the other hand, I have friends who find it supportive to know that many people support the cause however they express it. It's a sense of feeling not alone, like many people care--even if they are just participating in some awareness kind of game. So while I understand the dislike, not all cancer patients or survivors are put off by it. Some are encouraged by it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I completely agree that it's nonsense, and why does it always have to be sexually suggestive? My sister-in-law is in the end stages of cancer right now. I fail to see how any of this is helping her and others like her and I resent the trivialness of it. It's not just breast-cancer... I recently saw a billboard promoting colon cancer month, it showed a picture of someone's behind, including plumber crack, and said "cover your ass - get a colonoscopy". Keeping it classy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I fail to see how any of this is helping her and others like her and I resent the trivialness of it. I have seen many humorous ways of reminding women to do monthly self-exams. It certainly can help women catch cancer early. Anything that may help get the message across is okay with me. My youngest sister died of breast cancer on April 1. It is not something I think of as trivial. But, many women *do not* complete this simple, potentially life-saving exam. ETA: for example http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=xEqHbSk8QwA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DxEqHbSk8QwA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I'm a survivor of this disease. I think the cutesy, s*xually charged comments to raise 'awareness' are stupid and vaguely insulting. As a previous poster said, give a buck instead. Or better yet, go mow the lawn of someone fighting breast cancer. Or clean their house. Or spend time with them so they laugh a lot. Oh, and encourage every woman you know over the age of 35 to have a mammogram. That kind of awareness saves lives. (Ask me how I know....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 In general I agree that the "cutesy" postings and ads are just . . . not right. OTOH, I'm old enough to remember that when I was growing up cancer in general, and especially female cancers, were almost taboo subjects to be spoken about out loud in mixed company or around children. One whispered to the other adult ladies present. So I guess in a way it's progress? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcnlvr Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Thank goodness for cutesy awareness. One popped up on my newsfeed and it prompted me to start doing exams. I found the lump that would have gotten bigger and spread. Also, as one of a group of medical professionals, we laugh and act crude or else we would cry and be devoured by what we deal with every day. It is a common coping mechanism. Another is apathy. I choose the former. It keeps us engaged and aware. My opinions, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I am not fond of them but my sister in law who had a double mastectomy when she was 38 loves them. It gets people talking and gets people in for an exam they otherwise would not have gotten. That is step up from "The Big C" whispers and not in front of the kinder that I grew up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I have seen many humorous ways of reminding women to do monthly self-exams. It certainly can help women catch cancer early. Anything that may help get the message across is okay with me. My youngest sister died of breast cancer on April 1. It is not something I think of as trivial. But, many women *do not* complete this simple, potentially life-saving exam. ETA: for example http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=xEqHbSk8QwA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DxEqHbSk8QwA I am so sorry about your sister. I knew she was sick but i did not realize she died. ((((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Survivor here -- I hate it all, truthfully. I always breathe a HUGE sigh of relief when October is over and I can go grocery shopping without having to see pink ribbons pasted on my case of water. :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I'm sure a lot of you have seen this, but there was an article in the NYtimes recently about the feel good war on breast cancer. One thing that has always bothered me is that the pink ribbon campaigns do not vocally (loudly) advocate natural preventative factors like extended breastfeeding and food/ diet choices. There's no guarantee that either will prevent breast cancer but statistically a person can put herself at an advantage with certain lifestyle choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I despise it. I hate the concept of having baby talk names for breasts (ta tas) in advocacy for women's health. Lets start by being comfortable naming our lady parts. It's so juvenile and ridiculous. And a couple of people "liked this" before I edited it. Sorry if you no longer like it, lol, but I started to type a post, decided the better of it, and apparently posted my half typed post by accident. So what the heck. Now you all know how I feel about, "Saving the Ta tas." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 I have seen many humorous ways of reminding women to do monthly self-exams. It certainly can help women catch cancer early. Anything that may help get the message across is okay with me. My youngest sister died of breast cancer on April 1. It is not something I think of as trivial. But, many women *do not* complete this simple, potentially life-saving So sorry about your sister :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 I am so sorry about your sister. I knew she was sick but i did not realize she died. ((((Hugs))) So sorry about your sister :grouphug: :grouphug: Thank you both. It has been a really rough time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 I hate them, lost my sister in law in September. Lost my aunt a few years back. It trivializes it, it isn't cute and cancer sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 I agree. My mother-in-law died from breast cancer and never got to meet all of my children. Also, I hate that all the pink/women focused awareness campaigns fail to bring awareness to the fact that sometimes MEN can also get breast cancer. We had a very active male community member who died from breast cancer. I think enough people have been impacted by breast cancer that we don't need a cutesy "awareness" activity on FB! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I hate them, lost my sister in law in September. Lost my aunt a few years back. It trivializes it, it isn't cute and cancer sucks. Understand, I am not trying to talk you out of your POV, and I *just* lost my sister, so I am not taking anything lightly. But, what are commercials *supposed* show? Like the video about self-exams that I posted. It is cute, funny, something people will *watch*. Maybe it will remind someone to do a self-exam. My sister's lump was bigger than a golf ball when she found it. Her cancer was extremely aggressive. Her life was not saved, but it was prolonged. She was able to see her daughter grow up a few more years. That is just how I look at it. I am not trying to change anyone's mind. I hate cancer. Cancer and I have a serious grudge. I slather sunscreen all over my family. I made my younger sisters schedule MRIs. I promote self-exams among my friends and family. I may not *like* every campaign to raise awareness (I think "Save the Tatas" is tacky), but I do appreciate the fact that *all* of them probably contribute toward women being reminded to do self-exams. Would anyone pass it on, if you just said, "remember to do your self-exam this month?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I agree with you completely, Heather. There is nothing cute about cancer. It is a serious deadly disease. I abhor those cutesy approaches because I think they detract from just how serious cancer really is. People shouldn't have a giggle over breast exams (or colonoscopies -- another target of "cutesy" ads). It's not funny. Not. Funny. At. All. And, :grouphug: to you, Heather. I'm truly sorry about your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 I agree with you completely, Heather. There is nothing cute about cancer. It is a serious deadly disease. I abhor those cutesy approaches because I think they detract from just how serious cancer really is. People shouldn't have a giggle over breast exams (or colonoscopies -- another target of "cutesy" ads). It's not funny. Not. Funny. At. All. And, :grouphug: to you, Heather. I'm truly sorry about your friend. Thank you Audrey. I admit that I am a bit raw about it all right now. A few years ago my friend died at age 29 from skin cancer just 5 weeks after giving birth to her first child. Her son will never know his mother. Now another friend is battling for her life and she has a young child who needs her. And her poor husband... He walks around looking absolutely shell-shocked. I think there are a lot of effective ways to promote self-exams and help cancer patients without trivializing this deadly disease. If it takes something funny to get your attention... Well, that is your own issue. You want something to get your attention? How about if I take a picture of my friend.... My bald, emaciated, breast-less friend, as she hovers over her toilet vomiting for the tenth time today and post it on FB? Maybe that would "raise awareness"? Because THAT is what cancer really looks like. You want to share something on FB that will remind a women to do a self-exam? Share this: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/husband-photos-wife-breast-cancer-battle-article-1.1315041 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 If it takes something funny to get your attention... Well, that is your own issue. You want something to get your attention? How about if I take a picture of my friend.... My bald, emaciated, breast-less friend, as she hovers over her toilet vomiting for the tenth time today and post it on FB? Maybe that would "raise awareness"? Because THAT is what cancer really looks like. You think I don't know this? Again, I am talking about the death of my very own dear blood sister at the age of 32. She left behind a husband and 11 year old daughter less than 2 month ago. Believe me, I am very raw too. I nearly lost it when someone asked me yesterday how many brothers or sisters I had. Sure, we could show photos of sugeries and drainage tubes and the effects of chemo. But, do you think people would pay attention to that? Or would they click off of that and move it to the category of "things I am not going to think about?" Because I care about *saving women*, even the ones who might listen to a funny ad or something cute pasted on Facebook instead of a graphic, traumatic set of images. Do you really think the vomiting and mastectomy scars would be less exploitative? Or do you think that is the sort of thing that causes women to be in denial until their cancer is stage 3 or 4 by the time they go to a doctor? Stage one is where we need them at the doctor. That is when lives are saved rather than prolonged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 Sure, we could show photos of sugeries and drainage tubes and the effects of chemo. But, do you think people would pay attention to that? Or would they click off of that and move it to the category of "things I am not going to think about?" Because I care about *saving women*, even the ones who might listen to a funny ad or something cute pasted on Facebook instead of a graphic, traumatic set of images. Do you really think the vomiting and mastectomy scars would be less exploitative? Or do you think that is the sort of thing that causes women to be in denial until their cancer is stage 3 or 4 by the time they go to a doctor? Stage one is where we need them at the doctor. That is when lives are saved rather than prolonged. I am very sorry about your sister and I am not addressing you directly ... More of the "let's all have a giggle about cancer" mentality. And I can honestly say that no stupid post about what color bra one is wearing... Or my "favorite"... The fake pregnancy announcement meme ... has EVER made me think, "Wow, I should do a breast exam right now!" But watching my friend die? Yeah, that got my attention in a really big way. I'm sorry, those who want to support that method of "awareness" can think what they like but I will not stop deleting those posts, blocking those people, and pointing out that trivializing a deadly disease that leaves young children motherless is cruel and wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 How about the "repost" or "like" this if you are against breast cancer. Is there someone out there who is FOR breast cancer? And if I repost/like this, this will somehow help? Sigh. Some of those memes are actually just people making a buck by populating a page with lots of fans and likes...and then selling it to a company for marketing- they change the name and the content but since they have a lot of pre-made fans their marketing crap shows up in a lot of people's feeds with high priority (more fans, more likes, more shares=more feed views) and without the sponsored note on it. If you notice that you suddenly "like: some business you've never clicked, you likely clicked on a heartstrings post for likes and the page has since been sold and redone for that business. http://daylandoes.co...ook-like-scams/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I am very sorry about your sister and I am not addressing you directly ... More of the "let's all have a giggle about cancer" mentality. And I can honestly say that no stupid post about what color bra one is wearing... Or my "favorite"... The fake pregnancy announcement meme ... has EVER made me think, "Wow, I should do a breast exam right now!" But watching my friend die? Yeah, that got my attention in a really big way. I'm sorry, those who want to support that method of "awareness" can think what they like but I will not stop deleting those posts, blocking those people, and pointing out that trivializing a deadly disease that leaves young children motherless is cruel and wrong. Wanna know what worked for me? My mom's death from this disease made me scared (actually I did a mammogram right after she died, then I couldn't make myself go back)...it took a NAGGING friend to get me to do a mammogram. My friend nagged and nagged and nagged. I'm so glad she did. So....nag your friends, ladies. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I think we can all agree to hate on cancer, but perhaps we could also agree that since people are different, what will remind one woman to get a mammogram, etc might irritate or turn off another woman; and what might encourage one woman with breast cancer might irritate another one. Cancer patients and their loved ones need love & support. It just might look different for different people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Posting again. To be fair, there are, obviously, the kinds of breast cancers that, if caught early, can be treated and cured. It is these types of cancers that all the "awareness" posts may well be helpful to many. Though I really don't like the "cutesy" posts and the tacky purse and underwear ones with the "don't tell the guys" stuff, I imagine that some folks might respond and that would be a good thing I guess. I am sorry for all of you who have lost a family member or friend to any kind of cancer. I guess what I am trying to say is that every cancer is different, not all cancers can be cured and everyone needs to make their own decisions based on so many different considerations. That cutesy cancer posts can and do make me wince and all the "pink" products make me nuts. That all the research money from the pink products going to Susan G. Komen fund would never have helped my sister in law, there is almost no research on angiosarcoma and very little funding. That raising awareness of the recent lack of availability of many cancer drugs might be a better campaign than "save the tatas". That our twelve year old has spent the last year putting together a craft fair to raise money for the tiny http://cureasc.org/ breaks my heart because she knows there is little to no awareness for her aunt's cancer and that lack of a certain drug contributed to loss of time with her. http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/19/where-have-all-our-drugs-gone/ Sorry for the ramble, it just got really personal for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 My youngest sister died of breast cancer on April 1. I'm very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I think we can all agree to hate on cancer, but perhaps we could also agree that since people are different, what will remind one woman to get a mammogram, etc might irritate or turn off another woman; and what might encourage one woman with breast cancer might irritate another one. Cancer patients and their loved ones need love & support. It just might look different for different people. I agree. I'm a seven year BC survivor with many BC survivor friends. We have had some VERY spirited debates about this topic! Heather, I am so sorry to hear that things are not going so well for your friend. I remember when you first posted about her. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I have seen many humorous ways of reminding women to do monthly self-exams. It certainly can help women catch cancer early. Anything that may help get the message across is okay with me. My youngest sister died of breast cancer on April 1. It is not something I think of as trivial. But, many women *do not* complete this simple, potentially life-saving exam. ETA: for example http://m.youtube.com...h?v=xEqHbSk8QwA I'm sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I am one of Mrs Mungo's sisters What I don't like is "blah blah cancer blah blah if you blah blah cancer share this!!" I don't want to share stuff. I really don't want to share any of those bullcrap paragraphs people are always posting and demanding we share. Like I am going to be posting something like that in front of my niece? She lost her mom, I am sure she could give a crap. My sister was diagnosed when she was 29. No Dr would have given her a mammogram for no reason, so yeah, self exams are still extremely important. The majority of cancers are diagnosed with mammograms but 10% of them are in younger women, too young for a routine mammogram. Just because something isn't applicable to the majority doesn't mean the rest should just shut up, 35 routine mammogram, yeah great. My sister never made it to 35. I don't care about the cutesy games, I am not playing them but whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Sorry for the loss of your sister, Sis and Mrs. Mungo. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I am one of Mrs Mungo's sisters I didn't realize. I am sorry for your loss as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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