Preparing 9-yo for a small trip with aging grandparents

[piraterose]

Background:

My 9-yo DD has spent two weeks a summer with my side of the family two states away since she was 5 years old. Normally she stays with my sister and her family with a night or two at my parents (they live 5 minutes from my sister). While my parents are only in their mid 60's, health/physical issues have been a problem with both of them the last 5-10 years.

 

This year, my mom asked if I would be ok with her and my dad taking DD (and 7-yo DN) on a couple day vacation an hour or two away from where they live during the two week visit. I think she feels the girls are old enough now to handle, and really wants the bonding time, especially with DD since they only see her twice a year (She said they were taking DN, "so it would be more fun for DD"). I know my mom very much wants to feel like she's healthy and still independent enough to do these things.

 

My first instinct was to tell her yes, knowing that next summer her health could worsen, and this outing not a possiblity. My mom and I have a very strained relationship and this was one time I thought I could say yes for her. It wasn't until after I said yes, that she told me my sister was not comfortable with the idea (way to divide and conquer, mom).

 

 

Question:

Independent If this trip happens or not, what would be the list of things that you would go over with a pre-teen child, in the off chance she needed to take charge of a situation (grandma fell and hurt herself). My daughter is very independent, but not necessarily a take charge gal. I want her prepared, but not scared. Obviously, this is info she would need in any situation, her father and I could become injured in any fashion as well.

[*Lulu*]

Basic Red Cross first aid?

 

Creating a what if game and including scenarios you think might come up with your family?

 

 

[celticmom]

I would make sure that she has a cell phone of her own that she keeps with her at all times and is familiar with the procedure to call 911. I would also program mine and dh's cell numbers and the house number into the phone for non-911 worthy questions or issues.

 

I would definitely encourage as much communication as possible by dd while on the trip.

[celticmom]

My dd8 is currently visiting her aging grandparents but dh is along. I packed things for her to do with each of them at their home to facilitate bonding. Dfil enjoys jigsaw puzzles so I sent two large ones. Dmil enjoys cooking and dd8 has had to go gf so I packed some mixes for them to bake together.

[Catwoman]

If you're not entirely comfortable with the trip, both you and your sister should say it's not a good idea, and explain why you believe that to be true.

 

But... even if your parents have health issues, they're still only in their 60's, so it's highly unlikely that anything terrible will happen, unless their health issues make them poor/unsafe drivers or something. Even if something does go wrong, like your mom takes a nasty fall or has a health emergency, your dad would still be there to take charge (and vice versa.) I don't see many situations, other than a car accident, where your dd would have to be a take-charge girl -- and even in that case, as long as she had a cell phone and knew how to call both you and 911, there isn't too much more that she'd have to do.

 

That said, if you're not completely on-board with the trip, or if you feel that your dd isn't 100% happy about going, go with your gut and say no.

[bolt.]

I think the only thing she would need is to call 911 -- they would be able to tell her what to do, if anything, until people arrived to help.

 

Also, maybe, if your parents have known conditions, it would be good to review that vocabulary with her so she could mention it on the phone if needed, for example, "My grandma is unconscious. She has diabetes." is more information for EMS than, "I just can't wake grandma up."

 

Is the possibility of a true medical emergency your only concern? Or are you feeling things about their ability to care for your child well and also have a good time without pushing themselves too hard?