s/o s/o locker rooms and family locker room issues

[bettyandbob]

my rec center has locker rooms and a family dressing. Family dressing is small (toilet and shower). One family can use it at a time and there are times when families are lined up to use it.

 

There are signs on the locker rooms stating that children 6 and older are not permitted in opposite sex locker rooms and the alternative is to use the family dressing room. Our locker rooms are not unpleasant. They have an area with several shower stalls, an area with several toilet stalls, there are stalls in a separate (dryer) area just for changing if you want privacy and then the bench areas with lockers. They also have bathing suit dryers. In the small family dressing room water gets everywhere (no dry place to pull on dry clothes), there is no bathing suit dryer. There is no high mounted hand dryer you can use to dry your hair.

 

I have an 11 year old with obvious disabilities and have been using the family dressing room for a long time.

 

1. I frequently come across a parent who brings children of the same sex into the family dressing room. Why? A mom and two daughters can use the ladies locker room. A man and two sons can use the men's locker room. This partly bothers me because I have no choice and I have to wait for the use of the family dressing when people do this. I have had to wait for both a mom and two daughters and a man with two sons.

 

2. I am not sure why a woman with a male child well under 5 would prefer the family dressing room. It doesn't bother me as much as a mom with daughters, but if you child is 2 or 3 you can go to the locker room. If you don't want the child wondering and looking around in the locker room you can take one of the changing stalls (which are quite large).

 

3. Lately, I've seen older boys in the ladies locker room. One Saturday, there were two eight year old boys. I know they were 8 because I asked them directly. I found their moms and told them directly to get them out and go wait for the family dressing if they did not want their boys in alone in the men's locker room. One mother said "But he's just a little boy." Um No. And the policy is on the door of the locker room. I am able to change with a beach towel covering me the whole time, but really 8 is too old to be seeing adult women dressing and imagine if one of their female classmates happened to come to the pool at the same time and ran into them in the locker room.

 

4. Because the family dressing room can only be used by one family at a time, I make a point of being quick. My child uses the toilet and dries off and dresses. He doesn't even put his shoes on in there. There's a 10 minute limit, when people are in line. There are people who the time doesn't start until someone knocks on the door. There are others who say it's 10 minutes per person, so a family of 3 could take 30 minutes. I don't shower my ds --he takes a shower at home.

 

There's a college aquatic center 30 minutes from that has the dream family changing room. Several private showers with a large space to dry and change. Many families can use it at once.

 

What issues have come up when you used single sex and family changing areas? What do you think of some of my observations.

[stripe]

I think this is an issue that should be discussed with the management. All of your complaints seem legitimate to me. The idea that one family can be in there for thirty minutes after someone knocks on the door is bizarre.

[NicAnn]

This happens at our Y occasionally. Fwiw, I prefer the family changing rooms because I like the modesty, but I don't use them so a family that needs to can.

Discuss it with management. Typically they want to keep the rules in place in situations like this.

[bettyandbob]

Like I said our locker rooms actually offer a dressing stalls in a dry area if you want more privacy.

 

Additionally, I don't see people in the ladies wondering naked. People who dress outside of a stall stand by the benches and do their business pretty quickly. When I was a member of the Y, I used to see people just wondering the locker room in their underwear, while they did their hair and makeup. That's not the behavior at the rec center. Many years ago (12) there was a woman who wandered around naked for 30 minutes at a time. She used the locker room at the same time as my (then) preschool dd's lesson. It was weird and creepy. It was as if she wanted everyone to look at her body. No one stayed in the locker room long when she was there, but she has not been there in over a decade, so there's a whole new generation of families using the facility.

 

I don't think I'm out of line thinking that people should stick to the 10 minute limit once they get in the family dressing room whether or not they've heard a knock. I find the behavior rude. But there's nothing you can do about it. Management can talk to them. The family dressing room is next to the manager's office, so they do get talked to. But some people do it over and over. I don't get it.

[poppy]

So it sounds like you think people with young children should not use the family locker room, unless it's a man with an opposite sex child, or a woman with an opposite sex child above the age of 5???

 

I have two kids. I like the family room because I can get changed and have both of them with me without having to have a hand on them both the whole time, I can have my barely-potty-trained daughter on the toilet without having to hold the door for her, I change the baby on the floor, and not worry about the two kids seeing random naked people, or people in various stages of undress. Not because I want to shelter them from the human body, but because they are too young to hold back from commenting on people's appearance and ask possibly rude/hurtful questions.

 

I think the time limit is reasonable, but, I think family locker rooms are great for families with young kids.

[Mélie]

Our pool has a special needs changeroom, not a family changeroom. I have seen a few women take their older boys in there, but it's mostly used by disabled adults and their families/caregivers. I'd ask the management if they'd consider switching the name and directing same-gender families to the appropriate changerooms.

[bettyandbob]

So it sounds like you think people with young children should not use the family locker room, unless it's a man with an opposite sex child, or a woman with an opposite sex child above the age of 5???

 

I have two kids. I like the family room because I can get changed and have both of them with me without having to have a hand on them both the whole time, I can have my barely-potty-trained daughter on the toilet without having to hold the door for her, I change the baby on the floor, and not worry about the two kids seeing random naked people, or people in various stages of undress. Not because I want to shelter them from the human body, but because they are too young to hold back from commenting on people's appearance and ask possibly rude/hurtful questions.

 

I think the time limit is reasonable, but, I think family locker rooms are great for families with young kids.

 

 

I don't think you are unreasonable in using the family changing room. I do understand your preference. I have been to the pool with an infant a preschooler and 6 year old and it is hard to get through all the changing. I've been there. I have been at the stage where it felt like we spent more time getting dressed and undressed than actually swimming.

 

I am just taking the side I have take because I am at stage where I have no flexibility. It's not that it's a little easier. It's that there is no other choice for families like mine. I just have no choice to use the family changing. Many people who use family changing have a choice. I don't. My ds has a disability, he is way too old for the ladies and cannot get through dressing himself. There is no where else for me to go.

 

There is another rec center 20 minutes away--the one my ds goes to for special olympics. They have a sign that states priority on family use is for person's with disabilities. So, at that facility your family would have to yield use of the dressing room to my son and I. At the rec center near our house there is only one family changing so it is not limited to person's with disabilities.

[gardenmom5]

I have had this issue too. how busy the family dressing rooms are (there are only two) varies by time of day. when it ts busy, it is really annoying to see same gender parents/child or young child that could still use the other dressing room (with private stalls). My son can change by himself - but takes forever. I'd be standing outside the men's dressing room calling him to see if he was dressed yet and encouraging him to go faster. I would occasionally take an older son to ride herd over him. I also eventually just said - wrap yourself in a towel and you can shower/change at home because I didn't have 30 minutes to wait for a room when it took five minutes to get home.

[Galatea]

I have just one young daughter, but I use the family changing rooms because I like the extra space with her, I like to keep her contained instead of having her wander off while I'm half-naked, and because I like how the sink, toilet and shower is all together in one area. BUT I also use the gym at the least busy time of the day and people waiting is a very rare thing then. I wouldn't use the family changing rooms at a busy time because it wouldn't be worth the wait and I wouldn't want to be inconsiderate of others who need them more than me.

[Dahliarw]

Where my kids take lessons there is a child 6 and over can't use the locker room of the opposite sex rule too. There are 2 smaller family locker rooms (single family at a time). There is a sign on the door that the order of priority for use are 1) A person helping a disabled person of the opposite sex, 2) Familes where a parent is assisting a child over the age of 6 who is opposite gender, 3) anyone else.

 

The regular locker rooms are big and open. In the women's there are 2 toilet stalls and then 2 curtained off shower/changing areas. There are signs indicating that the priority for the curtained areas are people with disabilities (I'm assuming due to the fact that it's harder to "stay covered" when changing if you're in a wheel chair, etc.

[Georgiana Daniels]

At the nearby aquatic center, they have several "cabanas" for anyone who wants the privacy, and also male/female lockers. Seems like a great solution and I wish more places were like this. Having children 5 and up gaping at you in the shower is super uncomfortable so I won't put myself in those places anymore.

[twoxcell]

Our Y has family locker rooms(there are 5 individuals rooms with shower and toilet).They also have Men and Women locker rooms for those 18 and older. For kids they have a girls locker room and boys locker room. Kids under 6 are allowed in the girls and boys locker room of the opposite gender. Adults are only supposed to be in the boy and girl rooms accompanied by children. My ds uses the boy locker room alone. I take my girls into the girl one to get them ready for swim lessons. I have never seen boys older than 6 in there. We use the family rooms if we all go to family swim time. I would complain about the boys over 6 being in the women locker room but the other issues are not really your problem. If you know it is going to be an issue than arrive early to change.

[Rebecca VA]

When my daughter was younger and I'd take her to the pool, I would very often bundle her up wet afterward and whisk her out to the car. In the winter, I'd just put a snowsuit over her swimsuit and take her out. It was infinitely easier to do that than deal with locker-room issues. We'd be home in five minutes, and she could take a shower in her own bathroom.