Help with a dreamy, unmotivated rising 9th grader

[Chava_Raizel]

My oldest is going to be in the 9th grade this coming school year and I'm beginning to feel the panic.

 

First - she has her heart set on a very expensive competitive college. I'm trying not to discourage her, but this college probably isn't going to happen if she continues the path she's on. However, I LOVE that she's made an actual goal for herself and I want to help her get there.

 

I can tell that she wants to to better, but she seems to have a hard time motivating herself. I feel like I'm always saying, "Is this the best use of your time?" - if given complete freedom, she'd probably spend all her time either staring out of windows or watching the Disney channel.

 

I've explained that if she wants to go to this college, then she has a lot of work ahead of her. We've gone over what credits she needs to have, tests, etc. She keeps saying that she can do it, but it feels like she's already so behind.

 

I guess what I'm asking for - how can I help her to prepare for high school? I've always been a bit more on the relaxed side, we read a lot, we talk about books, we've done a lot of history and she loves to write. But, her study skills are sorely lacking, and math and science are definite weak areas.

 

I would love to get her started on some things over the summer - sort of a high school prep course, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what to include in that. What do you think is most important in preparing for high school? Especially for a kid like this who would rather read a fantasy novel or watch another episode of Good Luck Charlie than do actual school work?

[Jen in NY]

Gosh, I wouldn't know where to begin to tell you how to map out her whole high school career, but I did want to jump in and say that your dd sounds an awful lot like my dd #2. She's my Ender's Game girl... the one that has read every "how to write science fiction" book out there.... and lots of other books about writing, too.

 

If you had asked me a couple of years ago how we were going to get through high school, I am not sure how confident I would have been about it... but I think I see my dd's 'airy-fairy-creativeness' as a much bigger asset to her than I used to. And she's doing great academically... she's 'ahead' in math.... taking APScience classes.... so things I expected her not to like, or at least view as drudgery, she actually finds interesting and ends up applying technical/mathematical understandings in creative ways I wouldn't have seen. She's giving my type-A-analytical-test-score-hound dd#1 a run for her money in SAT scores, too - seemingly without breaking a sweat about it. So, I guess you never can tell how things will go until you see the numbers, as far as standardized tests go.

 

I guess my advice would be to try and discern something your dd really wants to stretch herself to try. It doesn't have to be the thing she ends up doing forever. Just something for her to give a little bit extra in and try some out of the box activities around. Writing books? Math circle? Building robots? Painting? Something she can dig into from a few directions and maybe find a mentor for.

 

Then, build a solid foundation in math, starting with Algebra (we <3 AoPS) ... and science.... maybe starting with Chem? (Lori D and Regentrude always have excellent suggestions!) Personally I would recommend trying to use older (because they are cheap... not ancient... just not the latest and greatest) college texts instead of PS texts. They are more interesting and go into greater detail, which for me is counterintuitively easier to understand than trying to fill in the blanks myself.

 

I have had my kids start keeping their own schedules starting around her age... using printable planners from www.donnayoung.org. It really helps them learn how to set goals, manage time, and see what needs to get done by the end of the week if they write it in themselves. I have an inkling about which college you mean, if it's anywhere near you. ; ) You could look at the requirements to get in there with her ... and maybe read a couple of Cal Newport's books over the summer... but in the end getting into a competitive college is not all about test scores. They really want to see kids that are on fire about something... (and even then it's still a crap shoot!) ... and enthusiasm for something will serve her well no matter where she ends up going to school.

 

Best of luck!!! You are getting to the fun part now!

 

And, as they say in HGtotheG.... "DON'T PANIC." :)

[Chava_Raizel]

Thank you - I have a sort of 4 year plan, but I'm open to adjustments.

 

So far, for her 9th grade year:

 

Math: Teaching Textbooks Algebra 1 (we're going through the Life of Fred Pre-Algebra books over the spring/summer)

History: History Odyssey Ancients level 3 (with quite a few adjustments - we're using SWB's History of the Ancient World as the spine)

English/Literature: Bravewriter's Boomerang

Analytical Grammar's Teaching the Essay and Teaching the Research Paper

Science: VLAC's class - probably Earth Science

Foreign Language: Also through VLAC's it's a toss up between Spanish and Latin at the moment, but I think she's leaning towards Spainsh

Electives: I'm thinking we'll do a Logic course, probably from Memoria press, and dh is going to do some computer projects with her

 

I feel like something is missing, but I'm not sure what.

 

I have been giving her the opportunity to plan out her day - she loves to write lists - but getting her to actually complete the things on her list can sometimes be a challenge. I do like the idea of giving her the time and opportunity to try something new. She loves to write and thinks she'd like to be a writer someday, but has a hard time sticking to one storyline and seeing it through to the end. Maybe that would be something to really push her to work at.

[Lori D.]

Thank you - I have a sort of 4 year plan, but I'm open to adjustments.

 

So far, for her 9th grade year:

 

Math: Teaching Textbooks Algebra 1 (we're going through the Life of Fred Pre-Algebra books over the spring/summer)

History: History Odyssey Ancients level 3 (with quite a few adjustments - we're using SWB's History of the Ancient World as the spine)

English/Literature: Bravewriter's Boomerang

Analytical Grammar's Teaching the Essay and Teaching the Research Paper

Science: VLAC's class - probably Earth Science

Foreign Language: Also through VLAC's it's a toss up between Spanish and Latin at the moment, but I think she's leaning towards Spainsh

Electives: I'm thinking we'll do a Logic course, probably from Memoria press, and dh is going to do some computer projects with her

 

I feel like something is missing, but I'm not sure what.

 

I have been giving her the opportunity to plan out her day - she loves to write lists - but getting her to actually complete the things on her list can sometimes be a challenge. I do like the idea of giving her the time and opportunity to try something new. She loves to write and thinks she'd like to be a writer someday, but has a hard time sticking to one storyline and seeing it through to the end. Maybe that would be something to really push her to work at.

 

 

:grouphug:

 

First, looks like you have a fine 9th grade schedule, covering a good chunk of requirements. And staying on this pace will mean your DD will have all the requirements she'll need for standard universities. :)

 

Now, I'm not at all trying to "upset your apple cart", BUT, if an expensive competitive school is the goal, then it is important that both you and DD understand that more rigor in the course load is going to be very important for giving DD an "edge" in competing for the admission spots. And, it's OKAY to say, "I don't want to have to do all the extras and the rigor." You can still apply to the expensive competitive school without having done the rigor and extras -- BUT, do so realistically, and have other schools and programs on your list, applying and preparing for them as well.

 

Together, you might want to look at Colleges That Change Lives 40 Schools That Will Change The Way You Think About Colleges, and Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools You Should Know About Even if You're Not a Straight-A Student (both by Pope). Also, together, start thinking about what DD would like to do as a career, and then look at colleges that would do the best job of helping her reach her goals. The expensive competitive college may be that school; but there may be something else out there that would be a much better fit. You never know until you look -- and you've got 4 years to look! :)

 

You asked "what am I missing" Here's what I would recommend adding into your high school schedule for DD to be competitive for entry to this expensive competitive college -- and she could wait to start this in 10th grade if a gentle transition into high school this next year would work best -- that could also allow DD to gauge whether or not she is really interested/able in stepping up the pace for the next 3 years to do these things:

 

- AP courses and tests

(probably three to five APs in a variety of subject areas -- math, science, foreign language, history or gov't, English... and scoring high on all the tests -- mostly "5"s and just one or two "4"s; one thought -- none of the courses you listed for 9th grade are AP; could one of them be exchanged for an AP course, and your DD could get started on it this summer?? You'll have to check and see what your local schools are offering for the tests, and if you can participate or not in the test, or in the class)

 

- more rigorous science selection

(top tier schools are going to want to see Biology, Chemistry and Physics, plus Advanced of one of those)

 

- more rigorous math program

(at the least, consider adding in Art of Problem Solving or something that involves a variety of types of word problems and problem-solving techniques as a supplement to Teaching Textbooks)

 

- SAT/ACT test prep, practice, and multiple tests

(high scores = scholarship $$ and entry into competitive schools; do the PSAT for practice in 9th and 10th grades; do the question of the day from the College Board; work through prep books and take the included practice tests; consider an SAT prep course; consider taking the SAT and/or ACT several times and submit the highest scores)

 

- extracurriculars

(for entry into a competitive school you need to "shine" and "stand out" from the crowd with interesting personal projects, volunteering, leadership, involvement in various activities, etc.)

 

 

Most of me really wants to advise you to just relax for this summer, let her enjoy developing and pursuing interests, and allow those abstract-thinking portions of her brain more time to develop. Use the summer to start including extracurriculars and volunteering, which may lead to some amazing development of personal interests or elective credits down the line.

 

Also, and I mean this very gently, because it's an area *I* struggle with with my unmotivated DSs -- relaxing will help YOU a lot over the course of high school. This is your DD's path to choose, and she's the one who needs to initiate the motivation and persevere in doing the rigor if she *really* wants the expensive competitive school. You will end up making both of you miserable and resentful if you feel like you have to stand behind her and push every day.

 

Based on her interests, it sounds like she is more Humanities/Fine Arts oriented rather than STEM field oriented. Perhaps use the summer to start music or art lessons, or get into digital photography, or learn a digital image manipulation software, or animation software, or.... And to encourage the creative writing, what about participating in NaNoWrMo? Especially if she has a friend also interested in writing -- they could keep each other going. :)

 

However, if you really feel you need/want some sort of high school prep work over the summer, then how about learning and practicing some study skills?

 

- scheduling and organizational skills

- note-taking

- how to learn from a text book and study from a textbook for tests

- how to take different types of tests

- memorization tips

 

Welcome to high school! And wishing you both the VERY best in this new stage of your homeschooling journey! Warmly, Lori D.

[JennW in SoCal]

Most of me really wants to advise you to just relax for this summer, let her enjoy developing and pursuing interests, and allow those abstract-thinking portions of her brain more time to develop. Use the summer to start including extracurriculars and volunteering, which may lead to some amazing development of personal interests or elective credits down the line.

 

Also, and I mean this very gently, because it's an area *I* struggle with with my unmotivated DSs -- relaxing will help YOU a lot over the course of high school. This is your DD's path to choose, and she's the one who needs to initiate the motivation and persevere in doing the rigor if she *really* wants the expensive competitive school. You will end up making both of you miserable and resentful if you feel like you have to stand behind her and push every day.

 

Based on her interests, it sounds like she is more Humanities/Fine Arts oriented rather than STEM field oriented. Perhaps use the summer to start music or art lessons, or get into digital photography, or learn a digital image manipulation software, or animation software, or.... And to encourage the creative writing, what about participating in NaNoWrMo? Especially if she has a friend also interested in writing -- they could keep each other going. :)

 

I wanted to chime in and agree emphatically with this part of Lori's reply to you. And I've got seemingly conflicting bits of advice -- let your child do nothing, but find something for her to do. Let me see if I can explain the value of both...

 

The teen you have going into 9th grade is going to be far different from the teen you graduate in 4 years. There is so much growing and maturing that is still to come, growth which you cannot force to happen over the summer in between 8th and 9th. The maturity WILL happen, though you will despair from time to time that it actually will come! I found it was far better to relax and give kids at this age some space to be dreamy and spacey, of allowing them the luxury of having nothing in particular to do. A month or two of having mostly unscheduled weeks can really do wonders for both the homeschool mom and the teen. It certainly makes for a relaxed family when you start school back up in September, and you may find your teen ready for more after a nice break.

 

But what about finding something to do? I know college admissions requirements are looming large, but there is something to be said for NOT following the formulaic AP/honors rat race as the only path to admissions to a competitive school. A student can still be a desirable candidate for admissions with a demonstrated a passion in her area of interest, who has used the unique flexibility of homeschooling to work or volunteer or pursue creative endeavors. This is a good time to find mentors, to take classes or start building a portfolio, or to start volunteering at a museum or theater or other venue. Real work with other adults, even if it is simply through an art or writing class or a volunteer position, can help nudge along maturity and responsibility, can help with the motivation of reaching a college goal. Summer activities can lead to year long commitments, or be the start of a mentorship that might last all of high school.

 

In answer to your original questions, I personally don't see a need to do a high school prep course over the summer because your dd's maturity and academic abilities will progress at their own rate. 9th grade is simply the next step in the journey you've been making for the last 8 years, and there will be a natural progression through the next 4 grades. There is enormous value in simply reading for pleasure and staring out the window -- it is something you yourself should also be doing this summer! It will help you relax and have a better perspective of the journey ahead. You WILL ramp things up, and your dd WILL become more responsible for her education, but it will come one small step at a time.

[Teachin'Mine]

Is she still 13? Could you make next year a high school prep year and officially start 9th grade the next year? I'd focus on study skills, scheduling and time management, getting her on board with increased time and rigor in her studies, following through on assignments to completion, etc.. Those skills will make or break her prep for the college she's aiming for. Could you visit the college during an open house and let her listen to what admissions is looking for? She needs to understand that even if she puts her all into preparing for this school that admissions rates are low and there's no guarantee, but she also needs to understand that going for the top schools means she needs to be a very dedicated and focused student. If you think she might meet requirements and deadlines better from an outside source, then you may want to look into having her take some outside classes, whether in person, online, coop, etc.. It would also help her to find her motivation if she could join a group/club/activity in an area of interest. Being with other motivated students can be contagious, as can being around those who are uninterested in their studies, so check carefully on the teacher's expectations and focus and the general atmosphere of any outside classes. If outside classes are unnecessary, then ignore the above and anything else written here which doesn't apply. She may be perfectly ready to succeed in high school this coming year. Your course plan looks fine for typical college prep, but I agree with Lori that it does look like it would be hard to fit in 4 years all the advanced courses which are generally expected for admission to the top schools.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I would say that something that was a hard learning curve was how much to be letting my kids be independent managers of their own schedule and how much to be there checking on progress, understanding, and completion. If I'd been more at the elbow and hovering in the fall we would not be trying to work through the bulk of three courses over the summer.

[SkateLeft]

Last year, I also had a dreamy rising 9th grader. She's always had big goals and she's a very bright kid, but she just never seemed focused or driven. I REALLY worried about how things were going to go this year. I even debated red shirting her for a year, and starting high school the following year.

 

Just to give you some hope, something strange happened over last summer. She suddenly stepped up, and developed motivation and a work ethic! It was as if the reality of starting high school sunk in and she made a maturity leap.

 

There have still been times this year where she's falling a bit behind, but she'll admit it, and work over the weekend to get caught up. She's discovered that if she finds herself drifting mentally, going for a run helps a lot.

 

She probably did more in the first semester this year than she's done in the previous three years!

 

Anyway, I don't have much to offer in the way of advice, but I know how you feel. :)

 

As far as study skills go, the Teaching Company has a course called "How to Become a Superstar Student" that was helpful to my oldest before she started high school. I probably should pull it out for #2 this summer.

[Chava_Raizel]

Thanks everyone - you've given me lots to think about.

 

We are going to be starting her in piano lessons in the next few weeks - it's something she's been asking for for a while now, and I think it might help her with learning to push herself towards a goal.

 

We're looking into maybe adding a few more courses through VLACs, many of them you can upgrade to an Honor's course, and they offer quite a few AP courses in the upper grades as well. I'm hesitant to do too many through them since we've never done an online course before. I'm thinking we'll definitely do the Spanish and science, and possibly math as well.

 

So, should we skip Earth Science? We dabbled a bit in Biology this year so dd didn't want to take it again next year, and Chemistry and Physics both say that you need to have taken Algebra 1 first. The Earth Science does say it includes a lab and it has an honors upgrade. I figure, she can take Bio for 10th, Chem for 11th and then either Physics or AP Bio in 12th. That would give her 4 years of lab science - all honors or AP.

 

I will definitely look for that Teaching Company course - I think that we definitely need to work on study skills and note-taking, so something like that might be helpful.

[Lori D.]

So, should we skip Earth Science? We dabbled a bit in Biology this year so dd didn't want to take it again next year, and Chemistry and Physics both say that you need to have taken Algebra 1 first. The Earth Science does say it includes a lab and it has an honors upgrade. I figure, she can take Bio for 10th, Chem for 11th and then either Physics or AP Bio in 12th. That would give her 4 years of lab science - all honors or AP.

 

Totally JMO: Go with what you and DD would enjoy. Sounds like that would be the Earth Science. And if you feel you want to upgrade to Honors once you're into it, then go for it. :) Since your DD doesn't sound like she is heading toward a STEM field, I would suggest that which sciences she takes are less important.

 

 

Sounds like you've got a a great plan going! And it sounds like you are prepared to be flexible as you go. So, you're all set! Have a super first year in high school! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Arch at Home]

I have a daughter like yours. This has been helpful. What is VLAC?