Puberty, etc.

[truebluexf]

I'm having a hard time knowing what and when to discuss with my son. He is just 11 now. I've been looking at books, but wondering how much is too much too soon? Does he need to know about wet dreams already?

 

We are not modest in our home. We have all sen each other naked in the process of dressing, etc, so we aren't prude lol. He saw his youngest sister born. He doesn't know the logistics of sex afaik, and I want him to learn the facts vs hearing it from everyone else in bits and pieces like I did.

 

Any advice? Anyone btdt? This becomes trickier bc DH is too uncomfortable to have a talk with him. Nice, eh?

[foxbridgeacademy]

I also have 11 yr. old son and yes, we've had to discuss a lot of these things. My son is very modest and uncomfortable with these discussions but he wanted to know so he asked. I would start by just discussing matter of factly the changes happening to his body/emotions. My DS began having those kind of dreams around Christmas. That was NP and we discussed, he was embarassed but had lots of questions. What really threw us was when 2 weeks later he began vomiting in the early morning. Come to find out his hormones were causing the upset (like morning sickness in women). There haven't been a lot of body changes so far. He's gotten taller faster and his voice is cracking every once in awhile. Mostly the emotional ups/downs are our biggest issues. So my advice is to simply let him know that if there are any questions, concerns, or just random thoughts he needs to talk to you. I would remind him that all boys go through this and he is not alone but it would be better if he got his information from you. My DS did have a few issues with me (being a girl) explaining things to him. His thinking was "but how do YOU know?" I told him that when he's older men and women discuss these types of things. I think it made him feel better to know that he wasn't weird because he wanted to ask questions.

[truebluexf]

Thanks. I do feel like hormonal stuff is starting based on his attitude, but I see nothing physical yet. He will actually be 11 tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I was getting hairy by 11 lol. I just didn't know those kinds of dreams could start this early!! LOL I only had a sister. :p So boy stuff isn't fully on my radar. I'm all set for helping my girls but I still have a couple years for them!!

[Mom-ninja.]

I bought this book.

 

My dh is also not comfortable speaking to ds. Nothing was explained to him by his parents. The word "sex" was never spoken.

 

I basically told my dh to just suck it up when our boys have questions and answer them accurately.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I think my DH would be fine, it's DS that prefers to talk to me. We are very similar and I "talk" the way he understands. Keep that in mind when you decide who should discuss uncomfortable topics. FYI, I also only had sisters (I was 20 and married when my brother was born), we never discussed s*x in my house, everything I "knew" came from friends. That is not happening with my children. So I might stumble and blush but they know what to expect for at least the next couple years. Also they know that no matter what weird thing their friend told them they can ask me and I will explain honestly.