..

[Heather in Neverland]

no. It violates our school dress code.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

You are her parents. You make the decision that is best for your family. Extended relatives don't get a say. They can say afterwards, if they want to be jerks, but that's it.

[Maela]

I helped DD (5.5yo) dye a streak of her hair dark purple because she asked as I was putting a streak in my own hair. It looked better with her hair color (mine's too dark, and I refuse to bleach first), but I thought we both looked cute. :-)

 

At 14, I really really wanted to put maroon streaks in my hair and my mom refused. Then just a few months ago, I realized that I still wanted some streaks, so I did them (despite being almost 32). So there mom! (She did not like DD's hair.) :-)

[Joanne]

Yes. I have allowed my son to do just that (different color).

 

I can't imagine a valid reason not to.

[mamakelly]

I'll answer this question with a picture....

 

 

Of my 5 year old with purple hair, LOL! Yes he was 5, and yes it's really purple. We had a house full of teenagers once a week for Bible study and one had purple hair. He really liked the teen and she played with him a lot and became his favorite. He asked her if she would dye his hair purple for him, and she asked me. He absolutely loved it, it totally fit his personality. It washed out after about a month. That was 6 months ago, and he hasn't asked to do it again. If it was my first kid I probaby never ever would have done it, but after having 4 kids I've relaxed a lot and I just didn't see any reason to say no.

[Shawna in Texas]

We did and we still do. We might be a little unclassy, though.

[Laura Corin]

I would in the summer holidays: it's against the school dress code, so I couldn't during the rest of the year.

 

Classy? I think a little playing with the boundaries is a good thing when you are young. I had purple hair but I settled down.

 

Laura

[LucyStoner]

Sure. It's hair. I like to save my nays for when it means something. I don't care what other people think about this sort of superficial stuff. If I did, I would make my son buy blue rain gear and crocs instead of purple and pick (respectively). If there were a school reason or whatever, I would explain why it was not an option.

 

As for people who don't understand it to be self expression- it's no different than choosing to wear only dark colors, or wearing makeup or a crew cut or choosing to wear skirts only. How we dress and decorate ourselves are all self expressions, even the choices we make to underscore that we don't like superficial self expression and are above the fray of focusing on the superficial.

 

In 2013, in most areas, I don't think most kids would get treated badly over hair color. I see kids and adults (professional ones too!) with all sorts of hair color. No bother.

[Hannah]

I voted yes, but for my own dd who has dark hair, we went with two bright hair extensions (the type that are crimped onto a strand of hair).

[NotSoObvious]

Nope, but more for chemical reasons than anything else. I'm not into my young girls being exposed to more toxic chemicals than necessary. We also don't do a lot of nail polish, no make up, etc for similar reasons.

If I found an alternative that washed out, maybe.

[*Lulu*]

I voted yes, but only if it could be washed out and we did not have to bleach the hair first. (We are a dark haired lot.)

[Lizzie in Ma]

Absolutely. Our oldest has been doing fantastically beautiful streaks in her hair for years. The royal purple was my favorite, it was gorgeous.

She helped her 12 year old dye Tardis blue streaks in her hair for the new season of Dr. Who.

I find it to be a harmless way of self expression. Didn't interfere with her junior internship because she could hide it under her costume hat nor was it a problem for job interviews. What she does is really gorgeous on her.

It's just hair, not a hill to dye on. ;)

[abacus2]

I wouldn't pay for it, but yes. I disagree with the person who said hair dye is a grown-up thing. A pink streak in her hair seems a very appropriate 9 year old desire to me.

[dsmith]

I would let her do it if it didn't violate any dress codes of organizations that she may be involved in.

[MiniBlondes]

I allowed my daughter to have a chunk of her blonde hair dyed fuschia just this past year. She was 7 at the time. My then 9 year old wanted hers dyed as well but I refused because she is a competitive cheerleader and it's against uniform restrictions. Otherwise, yes, I would have allowed it.

 

Call me tacky if you must. :)

 

ETA: Here's a pic that I took of her the next day, while she's bent over her Horizons book. :) Sorry it's so big.

[Dmmetler]

My DD8 does spray-in and clip-in extensions. Because of cheer, she can't do anything permanent-she has to be able to go back to normal hair color for her weekly practices.

 

 

I admit, I've been a lot more willing to allow things like colored hairspray and nail polish (both the wash-out type) because DD is hypersensory, and things like getting her hair done or anything on her skin really, really bothers her. Experimenting at home, under her control, really does make a difference.

[MrsMommy]

No. I think it's tacky. As long as my kids are kids, they won't wear tacky clothes or hairstyles. I let them choose their own clothes from the things in their drawers, but I limit what goes into the drawers. I want my kids to understand that being a classy person consists of both behaving well and grooming/dressing well. I don't mean that we're vain. We don't spend a lot on clothes or obsess about the latest trends. In fact, we are not trendy at all. Most of our kids' clothes are hand-me-downs or homemade. The rest were bought on clearance or by grandparents.

I have heard people argue that it's a means of self-expression, but I don't really understand what they mean. If you want to express yourself, learn to speak and write coherently. What exactly are you expressing by coloring your hair? All I can see is that you like the color pink. I have no idea what your passions are or what you believe.

 

 

I'm failing to see how having colorful highlights is the same as having poor grooming. Brightly colored hair, just like anything else, can be tacky or classy depending on how it's done. Did you see Helen Mirren's hair when it was pink? Beautiful, and completely classy. I want to be as classy as her when I grow up!

 

As far as expressing oneself, maybe I do just want to express that I like the color pink. Or that I'm funky and different. Or that I don't care what others think. I can speak and write correctly...does that mean I can't express myself other ways? I'm also a classy person, which I think is more about how you treat others than the color of your hair, but maybe that's just me. At the least, if I go ahead and get pink highlights (which I'm seriously considering once I have the money for it), you'll be able to tell just by looking at me that I probably won't be classy enough for you to want to spend time with. So I guess it's really a public service I'd be providing, and not just a way of expressing myself!

[Freckles]

I voted no, but I'm also the mom who wouldn't let my girls wear all of the makeup for dance recitals when they were younger either.

[Mommyof4ks]

I am of the opinion that it is just hair, and if they get it out of their system when they are young, then they will still be able to get hired at a good job when they are older lol. My dd is 13, and she wants blue streaks in her hair, so we are going to do that this summer.

[Tita Gidge]

I've had boys and girls both dyeing their hair unnatural colors by that age. Our hair colors range from black to light brown, and I don't allow bleaching until you're not living at home. I just think it's awful to put bleach on one's scalp, so that's something they can look forward to doing when they're older ;) LOL. I don't even use bleach to clean our home or laundry, I think I'm just scared of the stuff!

 

We use only vegetable dyes, henna, or indigo. The latter are permanent. Our genetics provide coarse, fast-growing, thick and can-take-a-beating hair but if I had a kid with delicate hair I'd have to research more diligently before allowing even these three dyes.

 

My daughter has dyed her hair every year for her birthday since she was four. She started that tradition by losing a bet, then deciding she liked having crazy hair for a few months every year. My son dyes his hair a new color every few weeks as his hair grows out (he keeps it cut short), and he let's my daughter pick his colors. He pays for and dyes his own hair, as well as my daughter's. But I wouldn't have a problem paying for it myself, either. I'd rather they get the non-toxic, better quality and if he weren't willing to shell out for it - I would.

 

I know some people judge, and I don't think that's worth vilifying them over; we all have things we judge for. I'm comfortable with my parenting decisions, so I just move along and keep doing my thing - same as I expect them to do when I'm judging them B) different strokes and all of that.

[briansmama]

Why not do those fun temporary colors, like hair chalk (I think it's called that)?

 

I voted no on actual dye, but I let ds do temp colors for fun events.

[goldberry]

Funny story, there is a mom at our church who is VERY conservative. When her DDs lived at home they were not allowed to color their hair any color at all. Period. So I know how she feels about that. She now has an adopted 6 year old. When DD got her purple streak, which is on an underneath layer, the 6 y/o saw it.

 

Her eyes got big, she said, "You have purple hair..." DD started to cringe and said, "um, yeah.." and 6 y/o responded with awe-filled voice, "It's soooo beautiful....".

 

I can just see her going home to conservative mom! DD came home and said, "Well that's it, I'm corrupting the youth of the congregation!"

 

If that's the worst she ever does, I'm good....

[Jenny in Florida]

"Expression" can mean all kinds of different things to different people. To artistic types, hair color and various other types of body embellishment can be very meaningful. And the fact that you don't get it doesn't mean it's not important to someone else.

 

Or, it might just be fun. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that, either.

 

Seriously, it's hair. Color fades and/or grows out. It's temporary.

 

Trust me when I tell you that my kids are perfectly capable of expressing themselves all too well verbally and in writing. Nonetheless, my daughter has played around with hair color a bit over the years and would do so a whole lot more if she didn't have to stick with natural colors for theatre.

 

My personal theory is that if we as parents treat this like the non-issue I believe it is, we remove the shock value and, therefore, the incentive to prove one's rebel cred with bigger and more dramatic choices. My kids (of either gender) are perfectly welcome to wear heavy make-up or dye their hair or dress in unconventional ways or pierce an occasional body part. I'm free to express my opinion as to the attractiveness of the choice. And I'm free to say I won't pay for anything that offends my sensibilities. But, in general, I choose not to assign power to such silly, superficial things.

[ocelotmom]

Classy? I think a little playing with the boundaries is a good thing when you are young. I had purple hair but I settled down.

Yep, I'd much rather have them get it out of their system when they're little than make it into a forbidden fruit that they have access to right at the same time when it starts to have real potential to impact their employment opportunities.

[Lisbeth]

1. Extended relatives have NO say.

2. Where I live, unnatural hair is a signal and would attract inappropriate friends, because here, the "nice kids" don't get unnatural hair colors. This is prob area specific.

3. I get grief from inlaws about too much Church and being too conservative with the kids. See #1. These same permissive relatives also now complain abt how their kids are turning out. Their permissiveness went beyond unnatural hair, but included it. I ignore all of it from them. You have to follow yr own parenting gut.

 

[JFSinIL]

Yes, unless it violated the dress code of any activity she was in outside the house. mOh, you can buy clip-on colored hair pieces - Hot Topic has them - for a few bucks. Then the kid can slip a length of colored hair on and off as easily as she puts on a head band.

[JFSinIL]

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Accessories/Beauty/Hair.jsp?cm_sp=LP-_-Accessories-_-Features%20_HairDye

 

the hair extensions are on-sale for less than 3 bucks (plus shipping....)

[Tess in the Burbs]

I agree with allowing it to be a teen thing. It gives a teen some control over themselves and it's not fighting over. At this age I might offer up the kool aid dye but my kids have dark hair so it wouldn't work. There are colored gels for hair that would wash out. I personally allow my dd9 to do all sorts of nail colors. It's another way to express herself but not a permanent thing on her hair.