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What's the mannerly thing to do in this instance? (regarding manner of addressing someone in correspondence)


Julie in CA
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I have a business issue that I've been corresponding with our city manager about.

I've been addressing him as "Mr. So&So" but I noticed that in his last email he signed off with a shortened version of his first name. Does that mean that I should be using his first name now? :unsure:

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i tend to call people what they call themselves when speaking/writing etc with me. its called "mirroring".

so in a business capacity, the first exchange is formal, and then if i wish i switch to my first name, and then see what they do.

so as you've been going back and forth, i would switch to the less formal. esp. because i think i remember you live in a town, rather than large city, and often in towns the world revovles on relationships.... i would take it as a good sign.

 

fwiw,

ann

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He is the (political) superior. Feel free follow his lead.

If you prefer to use his last name instead, that is absolutely fine too.

He's just opened the door to the more informal mode of address.

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Whew! So I did the right thing. :thumbup1:

He is trying to make my problems go away in terms of making a city-owned building work for my possible new business. Very, very nice man, and I'd like to address him respectfully, but also in a way that acknowledges how friendly he's been towards me.

 

Thanks all!

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Yes, this happens to me pretty much every day. Someone contacts my company, leaving full name. I reply by email or letter, using their formal title and surname, and signing off with my full name (without title). Almost always, the person comes back calling me by my first name and signing with their first name. At which point I also use their first name. It seems to be the normal rhythm.

 

Laura

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