lovinmyboys Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 DH is in the army reserves and will be away at various trainings most of the summer. Does anyone have any survival tips? I have four boys ages 1-7. He has been deployed twice, but the last time he was gone I had only 3 kids and I lived near my extended family. For some reason I am more worried about handling these couple month trainings than I was the year long deployments (or maybe I have just forgotten). So, for those of you who have DH gone quite a bit, do you have any advice? Do you do fewer things, take on fewer commitments, etc? Is having him gone a valid reason to tell my 2 volunteer commitments that I need to have the summer off? Also, we usually go to some local attractions during the summer. Is it ok to just do simpler things this summer? Do you try to take some time to yourself to recharge? Do you simplify your routine, or just keep on as normal? I am trying to plan the summer a little and just trying to be realistic about how much I can do alone, while also not using it as an excuse to just do nothing...if that makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Do you live near any military base or installation? If so, I have advice to give you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Dh was gone a lot when the boys were little. I still volunteered, mostly because it gave me some adult time, which I desperately needed. Meals were very simple. Often, breakfast for dinner or sandwiches. I would find friends whose dh's were gone/working to do dinner with... sometimes inviting them over, sometimes going out. Anything to get adult company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Do you do fewer things, take on fewer commitments, etc? Is having him gone a valid reason to tell my 2 volunteer commitments that I need to have the summer off? Yes. Just from the childcare standpoint it is a valid reason. But it is amazing how much longer some things take than before. Sometimes it is just because you are aware you are doing it alone and it seems to take longer. Other times it actually takes longer. Also, we usually go to some local attractions during the summer. Is it ok to just do simpler things this summer? Do you try to take some time to yourself to recharge? Do you simplify your routine, or just keep on as normal? Your older ones will be the problem on this. If you always go to the amusement park with them every summer, they will remember that and want to go. You can try reminding them that that is a special thing for Daddy too, so we should wait for him to go again. You make up for it by doing smaller, easier things. Free often translates to easier. Check out AAA travel guides, or state travel guides. They will often list the free stuff you couldn't imagine wasting a day on before now sounds good. Plus it takes you all day to do things like this now. And do fun stuff at home. Picnics and campouts in the living room. Find new parks. Roast hot dogs and marshmallows at the park bbq. Have the collect sticks to use in the park bbq instead of charcoal. Find old tv series you watched as a kid on Netflix and start watching those. I am trying to plan the summer a little and just trying to be realistic about how much I can do alone, while also not using it as an excuse to just do nothing...if that makes sense. So do stuff. Just do try and do everything you normally do. Expect it all to take longer, require more snacks, more drinks, more changes of clothes and more baby wipes. If you plan for it to require 3 times longer or more of something, and it only takes 2 times longer or more, think how ahead of schedule you will feel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Does he get paid more for these trainings? My friends whose dh is deployed says that she pays people to do things that ordinarily she would not do (cleaning, yardwork, etc.) just to keep the stress off of herself during deployment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My dh traveled extensively while my children were growing up. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify! You are going into a season where you will be, in many respects, a single mom when this is not the norm for your family. You need to do everything you can to keep your stress levels low and yourself on an even keel - this will help you encourage your dc to do the same! After all, when mama's not happy - nobody's happy!! I would definitely try to find opportunities to recharge yourself. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 We do not live near a military base. The nearest is about 3 hours away. When he was deployed last time we lived about 1/2 hr from one and that was nice. It has been a little over 2yrs since he has been gone for more than two weeks at a time. Back then I would have thought a summer away would be a piece of cake. Something has changed in those last couple years and I am really dreading the summer. I think once I get my mind around it and have a plan, I will feel better. I know it will be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 When my olders were small, dh worked from before they woke up until after they were in bed 6 days a week. I had three little boys, 5 and under, and what saved me was a schedule. Meals, baths, bedtime all on schedule. I'm an introvert so don't feel the need to get out much but did take them to the pool almost every day in the summer. They loved it and it was a chance for me to sit and chat with other moms. If you can get a sitter so that you can grocery shop and run errands alone that might be helpful. It's not easy and you will be tired at the end of the day but you can do it!;) Plan some fun activities so that you all have something to look forward to but don't take on so much that it becomes stressful for you. I hope you have a wonderful summer with your little guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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