Hyperactivity in a 5 year old

[Tanikit]

If anyone has any ideas on what I can do further, please suggest them... my DD(5) has been very busy since she was born - rolled over, sat, crawled and walked very early. When she was 2.5 years old and in a preschool she was barely sleeping and had given up her nap ages ago (her sister has also given up naps very early) so they left her to play with the 5 year olds during nap time as everyone else was sleeping including the 4 year olds! They did suggest ADHD at this age but when I questioned them they said that she did concentrate when given an activity that she enjoyed. She is advanced in almost everything, but has to keep moving no matter what we are doing - so while she reads to me she can barely keep her place in the book because she is wriggling too much.(though by skimming she finds it pretty quickly again) I daren't put a cup of tea near her bed at night because it will be knocked over by a moving hand or foot. If I read to her she is bouncing on the bed. She falls off her chair constantly and then we have tears every time it happens. When sitting to eat meals (well she cannot sit to eat meals, but if she happens to be sitting to eat a few bites, both her chair and the plastic table she is still sitting at with her sister, are moving - the two of them are constantly fighting over the moving table. Even if I sit her in my lap to watch a movie or read a book or just to snuggle she will be wriggly so much that eventually I get kicked of she flails her arms around and hits me or knocks something. She is capable of concentrating and completing projects, arts and crafts and written worksheets and doing copywork though gets distracted during it and often runs off to the bathroom halfway through.

 

She is having problems in dance class where her teacher says she will not listen, wants to play with toys rather than dance and eats her food (which they have with them) when she is not supposed to be doing so. I have had no complaints in her Sunday school class but know she often does not complete the worksheet they give them to do.

 

What I have tried: we do singing and exercises including running up and down a hill before school time each morning. She plays in the garden all afternoon and runs around and rides bicycles (inside and out) I have even tried getting her to jump up and down 100 times - and while she complains she is tired around 80, it makes no difference to her constant motion even minutes afterwards. I have also taken her for walks around the block when things are not working well at home because of her being hyperactive.

 

I am actually not worried about her schoolwork - we get more than enough done and she never complains she is bored - the work probably could be more challenging (maths in particular) but it is not my or her problem. My main problem is that she is breaking things, hurting herself and me and it is affecting my attitude towards her - sometimes I unconsciously cringe when comes near me for fear of getting hurt or being bumped into.

[wapiti]

She is advanced in almost everything, but has to keep moving no matter what we are doing - so while she reads to me she can barely keep her place in the book because she is wriggling too much.(though by skimming she finds it pretty quickly again) I daren't put a cup of tea near her bed at night because it will be knocked over by a moving hand or foot. If I read to her she is bouncing on the bed. She falls off her chair constantly and then we have tears every time it happens. When sitting to eat meals (well she cannot sit to eat meals, but if she happens to be sitting to eat a few bites, both her chair and the plastic table she is still sitting at with her sister, are moving - the two of them are constantly fighting over the moving table. Even if I sit her in my lap to watch a movie or read a book or just to snuggle she will be wriggly so much that eventually I get kicked of she flails her arms around and hits me or knocks something.

 

,,.

My main problem is that she is breaking things, hurting herself and me and it is affecting my attitude towards her - sometimes I unconsciously cringe when comes near me for fear of getting hurt or being bumped into.

 

 

I don't know anything about hyperactivity. With that need for movement, if it's beyond a normal level, I'd consider the possibility of sensory processing issues (i.e., issues with the central nervous system), e.g., some combination of muscle tone, sensory-seeking and/or proprioception.

[Tanikit]

Thanks - I looked at all those lists and I do not think my DD has SPD - the only part of those lists I can tick is : child is in constant motion and on the infant side of things: difficulty staying asleep and extremely active. Or can they have SPD with only one item on the list? She could perhaps be sensory seeking - though I have always just though that she is a kinaesthetic child - she loves to get messy and loves anything hands on. Her movement level does seem to be beyond normal - she is a lot more busy than her younger sister and her grandparents and other people have commented on her constant motion. I know little about proprioception - she can run, hop, jump, balance, do handstands and cartwheels etc as well as any other children her age - in fact in doing these things her concentration seems better and her movement is more fluid and controlled - this is the type of thing she likes to do. But she is in constant motion... and when it is not directed properly is when the accidents happen.

[jillian]

Look at overexcitabilities. My dd is the same way unless she is super engaged in something she is always moving, wiggling, running. My little one is a few months younger than your oldest. I advise caution in suspecting anything like AD/HD because it really is too soon to tell at 5. The diagnostic criteria alone requires certain behaviors to be present in excess before the age of 7 and then a post-7 years problem/issue. We work with dd on being aware of her space and what is where she is moving. It's hard but she can work on being aware of her surroundings. We also let her have complete free "spaz" time and it has helped a lot

[k8c]

My almost 5 year old DD is very much like this too. She is just like yours and literally does not stop moving from waking up to passing out in bed. In fact, one of the reasons we are homeschooling is because I don't want her "flagged" as AD/HD in the public school when she is bored with the work they are doing that she was able to complete years ago and decides to "do her own thing," which involves moving about the room. There are issues with her waiting her turn in classes like gymnastics, and she hates the repetition of dance class and doing the same thing every time. She cannot sit still to listen to a story, and movies or tv ends up with her climbing all over me or the furniture. I am very sure that it is an overexcitability for her, but I don't know what to do when other teachers (like dance, gymnastics, etc) ask how to get her to pay attention and follow directions. Explaining that "she is bored" and "she is gifted and this is a product of said giftedness" are not popular answers, nor do they help guide her toward what is socially acceptable. She doesn't seem to emotionally attached to things, so rewards or removal of toys/privileges never works out. She also doesn't seem to care if she upsets me, her teachers, other people, etc.

 

I wish I could join a SENG group, but the one that is near us caters to public schooled kids and is only during the days, on days that I also have DD (she does private preschool 2 days a week), and they do not offer childcare. However, even if it was in the evenings, my DH travels so much that I would miss most of the sessions unless I paid for a babysitter. If you do have a SENG group in your area, though, I would recommend seeing when it meets, because maybe even having someone nearby to talk to would be helpful. Or is there possibly a gifted homeschool meetup group near you? Again, things I wish for myself!

[JennW in SoCal]

... sometimes I unconsciously cringe when comes near me for fear of getting hurt or being bumped into.

 

YES!! I remember this so well. I used to joke that I took up karate just so I could hone my reflexes in order to block my son's wayward and sharp elbows and knees. My active ds is now 21 and I still cringe when he starts throwing the ball for the dog inside the house because I'm sure he is going to break something. He hasn't broken anything in years, but his activity level still surprises me when he is home after months at school He is still a pacer.

 

You are already doing so many good things in helping your dd burn off energy. I remember that swimming is supposed to be really good for hyper active and sensory-seeking kids, partly because of that proprioceptive movement business. But before you add yet another activity to your day, here's some things that helped at home.

 

A big exercise ball to use instead of a chair. I was skeptical about this because I just imagined my boys rolling off of it and being extra silly with it, but they actually sat longer and focused better by sitting on it. It provided just enough movement and stimulation to keep them from wiggling the table, and it didn't fall over the way chairs do. Can't remember if we tried it at the dinner table or not...

 

Giving her things to do with her hands while you are reading aloud -- play doh is a great one. Pipe cleaners or small puzzles or legos do great as well. My kids bounced all over the place and did dive rolls over me while I read aloud. It took me a while to get over it because I was distracted by it, but if I stopped reading in a huff, they'd beg me to continue and would give me a synopsis of what I had just read. But sometimes I needed them, for my own sanity, to be still, and the play doh worked great.

 

As they got older I kept the computer at kitchen counter height so they could stand and write, then pace in circles while thinking. Math was done on a big ol' white board with lots of colored markers. I never put it on a wall, but that would work too.

 

Routine. Check lists. Include physical activities on the check list. It is a little thing but it slows them down just a little bit, enough to make them stop and think. Perhaps the dance class has a routine that you and the teacher can explain to your dd ahead of time -- it is so hard to be still and listen to instructions when those toys and that snack is calling out to you!! Being given specific household chores -- things to carry from one place to another. Things to clean everyday. Or sweep. The occupational therapist used to have my ds calm down by wrapping himself up like a burrito in a heavy comforter.

 

Impulse control happens over time, but from the perspective of having a 5yo, it seems like forever til they get past puberty and start to settle down!! Hang in there.

[Tanikit]

Thanks for all the ideas - I do NOT think my DD has ADHD - she is able to concentrate too well to have an attention problem - she takes it all in - she just doesn't stop moving and again it is partly why we are homeschooling as at school she would more than likely be labelled ADHD.

 

We do go to a couple of different homeschool groups, but there is no SENG or specifically gifted homeschool groups in this country that I know of.

 

DD does love swimming and swims all summer - I am in South Africa so we are heading into winter and she has had to stop swimming - I have considered looking into swimming lessons through winter in a heated pool, but haven't got there yet. Tried the playdoh this morning while reading, but she wouldn't use it - rather threw the cushions around instead - will keep trying various things though that she can fiddle with - maybe she was just having a grumpy morning today (who knows - those (grumpy days) seem to be common these days too)

 

That is interesting about the comforter and wrapping your DS up - will try something similar and see what happens.

 

Thanks for all the ideas.

[jillian]

Thanks to the mama who mentioned the computer at "standing height" that's what my dd needs too. She sits to read and that's about it but will get up and wiggle about and be kicking her legs so much that I don't know how she reads. She's way loud and rambunctious. She can't handle the lines at dance/gymnastics either. We are putting her in karate soon because she needs to learn a bit of control over her body, and we are hoping this will do it. I just started the insanity workout and she keeps me company in the garage--and I let her play with chalk, jump rope, hula hoop, etc and she ends up doing the video with me and doesn't need to stop moving at all where I'm dying lol.

[mathnerd]

I am a mother to an extremely active boy who finds it difficult to curb physical motion. He is not ADHD but just hyperactive (because both his parents were hyperactive as kids). The best things that I ever did to help him were piano lessons and Tae Kwon Do training - both of these have taught him the skills of focusing, controlling his impulses, concentration for an extended period of time on any one thing, staying still on demand! He can stand to attention for minutes on end in martial arts class and has great control of his impulses (they gradually instill it in kids by training them on discipline). He can sit still at his piano now (though he wobbles the pedals incessantly, he can control all his other actions!) for 45 minutes. This all took time, but we have made progress.

I keep a tub full of toys that can be manipulated while I read to him (slinkys, Jacob's ladder, little bouncy balls, spinning tops, elastic figures that can change shapes etc). It helps a lot for focusing. Also he cannot sit still while writing and I let him stand up while writing or coloring most of the time. And as a PP said, routines and chores help a lot - he loves to clean, dust etc and spends a good amount of time being busy on these by himself just following a chore list that I put up for him. In addition he ends his day utterly worn out because we keep him hopping from chore to activity to the next that he is exhausted - he used to take 2 hours to wind down and sleep in the night (forget naps in the day) that our pediatrician suggested wearing him down to such an extent that he falls asleep in the night by himself and it worked! He does 2 organized afterschool physical activities in a day (Tae Kwon Do for 45 minutes thrice a week, swimming in an indoor pool for 30 minutes thrice a week, baseball twice a week) he walks a mile a day to school, weekly PE in school and bikes with his friend once a week for an hour - this is the kind of schedule he needs in order to calm him down.

An easy first step might be to enroll your child in an organized physical activity of her choice that she can do year round (a routine) which is physically demanding as well as enjoyable. You will see a vast improvement in her behavior as a result. Good luck.

[Katy]

This could be anyone in my family. DH got diagnosed in college. The rest of us haven't been, but several years ago I read an article about how ADHD presents differently in girls (who tend to incessantly chatter and be distractable rather than destructive) and literally everyone in my family fit almost every descriptor. I agree that music and martial arts both help. So does lots and lots of exercise, avoiding sugar, and avoiding screen time. I haven't noticed food dyes make a difference in my family, but it makes a huge difference for some so you might want to try avoiding them too for a while.

 

Caffeine does help. Mostly we are treating it like a character issue though- yes, it's hard to obey when your mind is all over the place, but do it anyway. I must say we don't have super hyperactive or destructive behavior though.