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Speaking of words and phrases and how we use them...


Ann.without.an.e
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Does it seem like people these days are sometimes overly sensitive?

 

A dear friend of mine (a single guy who is friends with our family), was headed out of town to a funeral. I simply texted him, "drive safe". He came back with, "why did you say that?" "that is demeaning" "you know I am a good driver so why talk down to me like that?" It started a strand of conversations that, well, got a little sticky.

 

"Drive safe" to me is a term of endearment......like, "I care about you so be careful" and it has NOTHING to do with your ability to drive an automobile.

 

Am I wrong? Was I rude or demeaning?

 

Why does it seem that so many people are over-analyzing phrases and words these days? It is like we are seeking to be offended :confused:

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That is a very strange reaction to a common phrase - almost combative. Perhaps he was tense due to the funeral?

I thought the same thing. Honestly, my other common send-off is "have fun!" but that would obviously not apply.

 

Now I'll have to ask one of my young friends if she feels demeaned when I say such things. I'm guessing she doesn't, since she uses the same sort of language... It has to be the funeral stress. Right?

 

 

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That is a very strange reaction to a common phrase - almost combative. Perhaps he was tense due to the funeral?

 

 

 

He went on to email me explaining why it was so demeaning, in an attempted apology, a few weeks later though and I just don't get it. All I said was "drive safe". Which I thought was a common phrase. He is not a young kid. He is actually eleven years older than me :confused1: Oh well, I just thought it all strange or wondered if I had missed a memo somehow.

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So when Phil tells the Amazing Race contestants to "travel safe," he's being demeaning? That's just...odd.

 

I get that there can be a cultural component to these things. I remember reading about Americans playing for a Japanese baseball team; when the manager would tell them to play their best, some would get offended ("Of course I'll do my best! Does he think I'm not trying?"), when it's just a common thing to say in that culture. The translator quickly figured out to say something like, "Good luck!" and everybody was happy. But barring a cultural divide like that, I can't imagine why somebody would get so peevish.

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Does it seem like people these days are sometimes overly sensitive?

 

A dear friend of mine (a single guy who is friends with our family), was headed out of town to a funeral. I simply texted him, "drive safe". He came back with, "why did you say that?" "that is demeaning" "you know I am a good driver so why talk down to me like that?" It started a strand of conversations that, well, got a little sticky.

 

"Drive safe" to me is a term of endearment......like, "I care about you so be careful" and it has NOTHING to do with your ability to drive an automobile.

 

Am I wrong? Was I rude or demeaning?

 

Why does it seem that so many people are over-analyzing phrases and words these days? It is like we are seeking to be offended :confused:

 

No definitely not! I have not seen any examples of people being hypersensitive lately. But "Drive safe" can be anagrammed to say "If Sad, Veer" and that's probably what he was objecting to.

 

 

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No definitely not! I have not seen any examples of people being hypersensitive lately. But "Drive safe" can be anagrammed to say "If Sad, Veer" and that's probably what he was objecting to.

 

:confused: I honestly don't understand what you said here. Is this some kind of meme or do we have to stop and anagram everything we're going to say before saying it? (I'm not being snarky so I hope it doesn't come across as that. These are honest questions.)

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:confused: I honestly don't understand what you said here. Is this some kind of meme or do we have to stop and anagram everything we're going to say before saying it? (I'm not being snarky so I hope it doesn't come across as that. These are honest questions.)

 

 

 

It's a reference to another thread where Trish ran into some hot water yesterday :)

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He definitely over-reacted!

 

I do think that because emails and texts do not carry the emotion, facial expressions, and other subtle messages that a live voice communication carries, and also because they usually happen so fast without a lot of thought, it's easier to misinterpret a text or email.

 

(I don't think that of your text though. He's just too sensitive!)

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Overreaction on his part. I've never heard anyone respond that way to "drive safe." I sometimes answer with, "Well, I was PLANNING to throw caution to the wind, but since you mentioned it specifically, I guess I'll be safe instead. ;)"

 

In my family, it's "Remember the rules!" My youngest sister is 13 years younger than I am, and when I was in high school and about to leave the house, she would yell out this litany of things I was supposed to do while driving, adding "don't get in a wreck" after a time I was in a fender-bender (not my fault!) and "don't get a flat tire" after the time I got one. Eventually she got tired of saying everything and would just call out to me as I walked out the door, "Remember the rules!" So that's what we say to each other. :)

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