I think it's burnout...I could use some advice/encouragment...

[foronemoresoul]

Background: All my kids have been hsed since the beginning. They are ages 13, 10, 8, 6, and 7 months. I've used various methods, resources over the years. The kids are doing great on standardized tests with the exception of my 10 yo who is still scoring fairly well (say 75th percentile), but not as well. I understand those tests are not the only measure or even the best measure of how they're doing. It's just an indication that they're making some academic progress at home here. My question: It's Saturday, after 8pm, I'm preparing for another week of school, and I just can't do it anymore. I'm just so tired of lessons, lists, workboxes, answer keys, all of it. My boy wants to play with me, but if I don't prep for school now, I'll be up late tomorrow doing it. You name it, I've tried it. I don't just need a break; I feel like I need to STOP. Ugh. Anybody been there? What's next? I saw this yesterday (www.allinonehomeschool.com ) and I'm seriously considering it because I need to keep them working, but I just can't keep doing it all myself. I sure could use some advice or encouragement.

[PollyOR]

:grouphug:

[Critterfixer]

Not experienced enough to advise, I don't think. I only have two children, and I've homeschooled for three years, not including K. But I was homeschooled myself along with my four siblings and Mom really had to fight with me. So I may have been a major cause of burn-out. (I'm sorry, Mom, for being an ungrateful, nagging, hormonal little snot!)

 

So take my advice for what it is worth, which probably isn't all that much.

 

1) It sounds like you are not getting a weekend. I don't get them either, because I homeschool all week, all year long and I work the days I am not homeschooling. It hasn't told on me yet, but I can see it doing so in the future. I'm in the planning stages now for making sure that I take regular "weekends" even if they are not actually on the weekend, when I'm really, really busy.

 

2) You've done a great job! You need to reward yourself for that. It doesn't have to be big, but I need rewards for doing things that I find challenging, even if I actually really am motivated to do them. I reward myself with flowers for regular exercise, for keeping up with the house and for teaching--particularly when it's been a tough week. I figure if I don't do it, no one else is going to think it's important.

 

3) When you sit down to plan school have an hourly amount in mind. It's very easy to set out to plan for X and then decide you can go ahead and plan for Y and Z. You might even divide the planning over the week instead of setting it all up for one evening for everyone. Depends on what you like to do. But when your planning time is up, go do something for you. Read a good book. Go for a walk. Play the piano. Do whatever you would do if you had nothing else hanging over your head at all. I find great relaxation in just knowing that after nine I will be in bed with a book, and will have a delicious half-hour or so to read in peace. I seem to remember that when my boys were 7 months, if someone had offered me a chance at a half-hour early bedtime I'd have wept for joy.

It's a strange thing for me, but I have noticed that when I have a routine of doing certain things at certain times regularly, the boys learn to respect that time. They seem to "get" that if they let me have my housekeeping times, exercise time and reading time that I will be able to give them my full attention at other times. Not sure how that works, but it seems to.

[foronemoresoul]

Thank you! That almost made me cry. How sad is that?

:grouphug:

[foronemoresoul]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have some great hsing friends IRL but sometimes I just need to seek some fresh answers. I know I need to revisit why I'm doing this. Over the years my answer to 'why' has changed. Lately, it's just that I want to give them a childhood. Time to play, time to be innocent. And I know some wonderful kids who go 'away' to school. They do have time to play and be innocent, but I've been over and over it in my head, and for my family and my kids, for various reasons, I'm not sure if I could give them that time and innocence if they went 'away' to school. I also want them to really know that it's ok to choose not to do what everyone else does. It's ok to imagine a life for yourself that doesn't look much at all like your neighbor's life. So I'm stuck. My husband and I chose this hsing thing. It's the best option for our family right now. But it's so much work for me. My wonderful husband helps as much as he can, but he works a lot so I can be here with the kids. Ok, I'm done bellyaching. Just tell me there's someone here who understands what it's like to feel like you just can't teach another kid the definition of a verb or grade another math paper or find another copywork passage to help your 5th grader learn to punctuate dialog correctly.

[TKDmom]

:grouphug:

 

I'm right there with you. I always see the advice to just take a break ( and maybe that's what you need)... But I take breaks all the time. It's why we're behind where I want he kids to be (they are progressing and testing well, but behind where my plans for them were).

 

I decided to find a new hobby. I'm tired of spending my life researching homeschool curricula and planning out the perfect schedule. Now I'm raising chickens too. :D we are still doing school work. I found a good schedule and we are actually being more productive. And I'm having fun with my chicks and learning new things.

 

If you don't school year-long, I'd spend the summer doing things you guys all enjoy. Fun unit studies or raising some baby chicks. ;) But no verbs or copywork for a couple months.

[cathmom]

When I reached the point last year that I didn't even want to think about homeschooling, let alone plan it or actually do it, I knew I was done. We enrolled the younger ones in school and everyone is much happier. They are thriving and learning a lot, and none of the public school horror stories I'd heard for so many years have come true. I love just being their mom and doing enrichment stuff as I can. I love the fact that I'm now collaborating with a whole bunch of caring professionals to educate my dc instead of it all being up to me all the time. I love that I occasionally have free time now too.

[Incognito]

Babies are physically demanding. You are in a season of life where your children are spread out over a lot of ages that are demanding of you physically and mentally (and emotionally). I don't have an answer, but I can say that for me, with 3 kids, the baby getting a little older helps. We've finished half of what I thought we would for history so far this year (we'll probably finish 3/4 of it before summer), but I am gentle with myself and the kids and realize that for this season of life that is what we will get done.

 

Perhaps if you look at this as a season you can prioritize what NEEDS to be done and also what YOU NEED, and then you can feel more hope.

 

HTH

[foronemoresoul]

Might I suggest something that might give you a more regular break from teaching, and the children more time with you on a "fun" level?

 

Thank you so much for your reply. You're certainly right about treating schooling like a job. I do better when I remind myself of that. I do think we need to take more planned breaks during the school year. Last night I ended up doing what needed to be done for the coming school week and playing with my little boy. I knew I could count on the Body of Christ to provide. A few different perspectives were what I needed. I have a better outlook today. I know summer break is just around the corner. I can make it. Thank you all again.

[TraceyS/FL]

:grouphug:

 

One thing that is working very well for me (granted, right now it is just for one kid), but instead of workboxes or folders we have a "binder". It is actually a Circa book I put together. I have 1 for each day of the week, and then a set of 15 dividers and an index with all the subjects we do in a week listed. Then it is simply either print the workbook page, stick a piece of paper in that says, "All About Spelling Grab the drawer and get mom". This format causes DD wayyyyy less stress for some reason (the goal of it), and it doesn't take me as long to "fill" as it was file folders. And, I have it done for the whole week instead of a day at a time (which would never work because I am a full-time college student).

 

So if your workbox system is causing you great stress - then to me it is an issue.

 

The next thing I did because I was on the constant brink of mommy meltdown the last couple of months, was to re-do our school area. I've been at it 9 years now, and even with a break in there, I felt I fianlly knew what we needed space wise. I'm still working on gathering "stuff" from all parts of the house (including the former schoolroom), but EVERYONE - including the adults - is happy with the new "project area" filled with Expedits. In fact, one of the adults tried to take 1/2 of it over for himself! We are lucky to have this alcove area off the living room and it works well for this type of area. There is an almost 60x60 table area with lots and lots of cubbies to finally organize our materials.

 

I cannot tell you how much stress that has relieved off of me. It is an area we can all use, is at the heart of the home, and has a spot for our stuff. My chocolate intake dropped significantly!! :D

 

So that is my big help for the moment - take this time, and over the summer, to take a good hard look at the workflow and "system" you have set up and see what you can do to help in that area. I know we homeschoolers are always looking for the next best organizing thing that will help us, and some of it is valid - but even if we find something that rocks, we have to make sure it rocks for US. Go to Pinterest and start looking at homeschool rooms!! LOL!!

 

Meanwhile, more :grouphug: and I'll go find some chocolate to eat for you ;)

[foronemoresoul]

I appreciate these replies so much. Each one has a little nugget of which I need to be reminded. My system is good enough right now. I like the reply that said she decided to get a hobby instead of spending all her time researching curricula and coming up with the perfect schedule. I do that way too much. It's funny you mentioned chickens as we hope to acquire a few egg-layers from a friend this summer and I am on the search for a good family dog right now. Anyway, I posted in a moment of weakness last night, and I feel strengthened already. It's a big job being child of God, wife, mommy to baby and teenager and everything in between, teacher, friend, sister, daughter, volunteer, aunt, even great-aunt in a few short months. I just need to take a deep breath and chill. thanks again!

[Tracy]

Have you seen the video of SWB talking about her regrets about not putting one of her children into school? She talks about that sometimes you have to be willing to consider other alternatives (whether that means school, online classes, other curricula, etc.). I am really committed to homeschooling, but I found it really refreshing to hear someone like SWB, who I perceive to also be fairly committed to homeschooling, talk about the importance of considering other alternatives.

[briansmama]

Can you take a break and make this week an outdoor learning week? Take the kids to an area where they can get outdoors and journal, read, explore, climb, hike? I know the weather is really warming up here this week and I'm not planning formal lessons for us- instead we will take a break, but still together and for the set hours we normally work together.

 

I think it is really important to look over your schedule and make sure you are getting a break on weekends from homeschool planning. Can you find a good Booklist for history/science/lit and give it to your oldest dc and have them work from that? All you'd need to do really is download ebooks or reserve them at the library and pick them up. Let the younger kids have time off.

 

I also remind myself that if they were in school, as a stay-at-home mom I'd likely have plenty of planning to do for them still- packed lunch prep, homework folders, quiz and test prep, volunteer class schedule, and helping to plan any upcoming celebrations (end of year, etc), fundraising, not to mention homework....