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Travel safety in India for little girls


SKL
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I'm probably nuts for posting this but here goes. My daughters are 6 and we're planning a trip to India with an Indian-American friend to visit her family and some places of interest (Taj Mahal mainly). I keep hearing about rapes of women and tourists. Now today the news headline is of a 5yo girl who was abducted, raped for 24 hours, and left for dead. Police had refused to file a missing child case. I know this is just one incident, but I have to ask. Is it safe for me to take my daughters to India? Help me think this through. ... I have been to India twice before, but without my kids. Though there were a couple times I felt nervous, nothing bad happened on my previous trips (other than foolishly drinking the water!). ... ETA perhaps I should note that my girls are biologically Mayan (brown-skinned) while I am caucasion. My kids might not appear to be American tourists traveling with their mom. Not sure if that would make a difference or not.

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There are upwards of 900 million people in India. How many reports of such things happening in the U.S. have you heard? I wouldn't change plans based on one news report. Sensible supervision and normal vigilence are called for.

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There are upwards of 900 million people in India. How many reports of such things happening in the U.S. have you heard? I wouldn't change plans based on one news report. Sensible supervision and normal vigilence are called for.

I wouldn't either for one incident, but rape rates are pretty high in some places, including Delhi in India, and for that matter many parts of South Africa. I don't know how big of a threat it is, but I wouldn't dismiss it. It does not seem to be negligible.

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What is especially horrifying about these news stories are not the fact that they were rapes in and of themselves - it was the brutality and longevity and violence involved. No rape is "good" but these are particularly horrific.

 

I know - impossible to brush it off when you're talking about a 5yo girl. :(

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I would encourage your friend to ask her family to visit here instead.

That's not an option. The only ones who haven't visited us in the past several years are my friend's mom, who is in frail health, and her niece, who is about to have a baby. I think we will go. I just got really shaken by that 5yo's story on the news today, on top of the increase in rapes over there. My goodness. But I'm a pretty brave person.
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Cathmom's State Dept info is a good place to start. I would even call them with your specific itinerary and ask their advice. I would encourage your friend to ask her family to visit here instead.

A lot of people are denied travel visas, so that's another reason someone might want to come but not be able to, much less any other reason.

 

There have been some rapes of tourists lately, wasn't it a Swiss woman bicyclist who was horrifically gang raped for hours, and two women were brutalized in a short period of time-- one of whom was the one on the bus who later died, but there was another who had a very similar thing happen. I have the same reaction as Jean to the incidents.

 

It *is* disturbing and Indian women think it's a problem, and one of the main reasons it's a problem is because it hasn't been taken seriously as a problem to be stopped. However, I really hope someone who has experience living or traveling in India, and there are a few ladies on the board who live there, might contribute.

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World travel is such a gift to children IMO. I would absolutely stay to safe areas and carefully check your itinerary. Cancel? Not a chance. I'd be even more comfortable visiting with locals. I actually know a family that homeschooled there for a year with 2 young children (both girls). I know a lesbian couple that took their young adopted child for a month and had a great experience. My husband travels there regularly for work and has never had a bad experience (can't say the same thing about Europe). I'd definitely do my homework and share my concerns with my host, but I wouldn't let it stop me from seeing the world.

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I haven't been to India, but I have traveled internationally with my kids.

 

Take a picture of your child every time you go out. If they go missing, that may help. Make sure they have on their body where they know it is something that tells their name, age, and address/number where you are staying and your cell # if you have one. Make sure it is in the native language as well. When you are first there, point out who the policemen are, safe places to go, etc if they do get seperated from you. And of course, keep them close. Remind them it is not home, it is not as safe as home, they don't speak the language, etc. It will make them more aware of the importance staying with you. And use general percautions. Stay with others in a group as much as you can. Don't go out alone, especially after dark. Stay in crowded/well traveled areas. And be hyperaware of those around you.

 

I would also be very cautious of belongings you carry with you. Pick pocketing is very common. Wear your passports and such under your clothes, etc.

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Just two more bits; I seriously doubt the rate of rape incidence in India has changed significantly, or been on the rise. The rate of public awareness and media attention and maybe the rate of reporting rape have increased.

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Was India where that girl and her boyfriend were recently attacked? On a bus and the girl was raped? I thought I read at the time that there was a high incident of rape there?

 

I'd think if you kept your girls close it'd be okay.

 

 

The girlfriend was 'close' to the boyfriend when she got raped.

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I am also going to India for an extended period of time, and I have had some worry over the recent news reports. However, close to the same time as the Swiss tourist attack, a woman was killed and her 10-year-old daughter raped in a mall parking lot in Albany, NY which is not that far from me. It happens everywhere. Keep in mind there are a billion people in India. Here are the reported statistics. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics I am sure the real incidence of rape is much higher in both places, but in 2010 for instance there were 84,000+ reported rapes in the US and 22,000+ in India. (But it is unlikely that the incidence of tourist rape in India is underreported.)

 

I haven't been in India yet, but my husband has several times, and he says it is pretty safe but that safety does depend on where you go and who you are with. If you are visiting friends, they will be familiar with the local area. I plan to take precautions, be alert and aware, will have my husband (the 6th don black belt) or driver with me when we travel, and will be holding my daughter's hand most places we go (no free ranging!). Otherwise we are going to relax and enjoy our trip.

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I've also seen elsewhere that child rape is quite common in India. Not sure how much of that occurs within families, though.

 

(I'm an Indian living in India)

 

I'm envious....I haven't seen the Taj Mahal yet. It is in Agra, which is a much much safer city than the capital, Delhi.( which is gaining infamy as the crime capital of India)

Not to make excuses for my country, but Fwiw, India is as safe or as dangerous as many other Asian countries (excluding highly developed and urban Japan). And since you're travelling with friends, you would be fine.

The standard advice when travelling to 'any' foreign country applies here. Don't go out alone after sunset, except with family/friends. Stick to urban, populated places. Don't let your kids out of sight. Drink bottled mineral water at all times.

 

HTH

 

ETA: i have a daughter too and understand your concerns.

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The rapes reported in the media are horrific. Yet, I don't really trust any media, Indian or otherwise, wrt sensationalizing news.

The December 2012 rape of the Indian girl in Delhi sent shock waves through the country. It did have the silver lining of increasing police vigilance in high crime neighborhoods.

The rest of India, (and it is huge, diverse country ) is quite safe. I've travelled widely in S.E Asia , U.S and Europe and can comfortably claim that I've never felt unsafe here. (Nor have any of my friends/acquaintainces in the same demographic).

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I have travelled to India as a tourist. I wouldn't hesitate for a second in your shoes. This is a country that is very pro western, is family oriented and loving towards children, is not known for violence, is generally very peaceful and friendly to tourists. Avoiding India based on a handful of incidents is like avoiding going to the US because you hear it is full of gangs. It is a beautiful country, have a good time.

 

The risks you should worry about are food borne illness and medical immunities, and maybe a pickpocket in a big crowd.

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(I'm an Indian living in India)

 

I'm envious....I haven't seen the Taj Mahal yet. It is in Agra, which is a much much safer city than the capital, Delhi.( which is gaining infamy as the crime capital of India)

Not to make excuses for my country, but Fwiw, India is as safe or as dangerous as many other Asian countries (excluding highly developed and urban Japan). And since you're travelling with friends, you would be fine.

The standard advice when travelling to 'any' foreign country applies here. Don't go out alone after sunset, except with family/friends. Stick to urban, populated places. Don't let your kids out of sight. Drink bottled mineral water at all times.

 

HTH

 

ETA: i have a daughter too and understand your concerns.

 

Where in India do you live? We will be spending most of our time in Hyderabad. Any ideas of cool stuff for little girls to do? I want to show them an Indian dance class, the Golkunda (sp?) Fort, markets, and some of the slum schools / orphanages that we sponsor through our nonprofit.

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I'm an American (white), and My DH, DD (7), DS (4), and I have been living in India for just over 2 years now. We will be returning to the US for good in June. Honestly, we've been perfectly safe here. Just like anywhere, *most* people are good. We are in Pune (near Mumbai), but did a trip to Delhi and Agra. I haven't been to Hyderabad but my sister lived there on and off for 2 years as a 20-something. Indian people generally like children and are friendly even to children they don't know. So don't be surprised if people talk to yours. We keep a close eye on it and stay friendly, but when traveling, we always keep them close.

 

When we are out somewhere I keep my kids fairly close and they don't wonder. When we visited Delhi, we hired a driver part of the time and took taxis or auto rickshaws the rest. We hired a car to drive from Delhi to Agra and then that driver drove us around in Agra the two days we were there. He picked up a guide for us, which we kind of rolled our eyes at as a tourist trap, but we only had to pay him the equivalent of $20 and he helped guide us around Agra and kept away beggars, so was actually pretty helpful. Things like guides and drivers are actually quite cheap and can be useful navigating ticket lines and translating. If you are with someone, you might not need that.

 

Once I read in a tourist guide book for India, that if you are in trouble and need help, find a man traveling with a wife and children and ask him for help. I've never done that, but I can see why that advice is given.

 

Dress modestly. T-shirts are fine, but don't wear tank tops. Long pants are better than shorts or capris. I wear jeans most of the time, but lightweight pants are good for the heat. Nothing skin tight. Kids clothing matters less.

 

Let me know if you have any particular questions! We've done the LONG flights from the US to India and back several times now and traveled to a few places while here.

 

I know a couple moms who are white and are married to Indians. Their children are definitely darker skinned but I don't think anyone has ever had trouble because of that. Honestly, since they are dressed more American and clearly with an adult, no one has ever mistaken them for anything other than what they are--children with a parent.

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Where in India do you live? We will be spending most of our time in Hyderabad. Any ideas of cool stuff for little girls to do? I want to show them an Indian dance class, the Golkunda (sp?) Fort, markets, and some of the slum schools / orphanages that we sponsor through our nonprofit.

 

Hyderabad is famous for it's freshwater pearls!

 

It was a hub for the mogul empire, so there are plenty of muslim religious monuments, mosques, palaces... to visit(if you are so inclined).

Do not miss the Charminar http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charminar.

 

The bazaars are fantastic eg- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laad_Bazaar

...you can find a lot of ethnic jewellery like bangles, ear rings, purses, clothes...(bargain bargain bargain.). They tend to be very crowded though, so follow common protocol in crowded places...keep an eye on your belongings and hold your daughter's hands.

 

Here's a list from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_tourist_attractions_in_Hyderabad.

 

P.S. I live in Bangalore. 12 hrs away by road from Hyderabad. How about a pit stop in BLR before heading to Agra?:-)

 

ETA: the tourist spots may not be particularly attractive for your girls as it tends to get pretty crowded....yet they might enjoy the bazaars and hunting for pretty jewellery, shoes, and other stuff.

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P.S. I live in Bangalore. 12 hrs away by road from Hyderabad. How about a pit stop in BLR before heading to Agra?:-)

 

I did make a stop (by plane) in Bangalore after Hyderabad on a previous trip, about 14 years ago. We didn't do much in Bangalore because we didn't have a lot of time; we were in a different city almost every day for 3 weeks. :) Someday I'm actually going to take a "leisurely" vacation! ... I doubt we would have time this year for Bangalore. As it is we have to take work with us, since we have a big work deadline 2 weeks after the planned trip. :) My kids are going to be so warped . . ..

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I must say I really disliked the markets / bazaars in India. I am so not used to people yelling at me and begging me to take a bigger discount than the next guy is offering, LOL. I must tolerate it in order to give the kids a true flavor for the place, though. ;) Our friends in Hyderabad did take us to some quieter markets and some rather fancy handicraft outlets. Though personally I am not big on shopping and would rather do the least permissible amount. LOL.

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I did make a stop (by plane) in Bangalore after Hyderabad on a previous trip, about 14 years ago. We didn't do much in Bangalore because we didn't have a lot of time; we were in a different city almost every day for 3 weeks. :) Someday I'm actually going to take a "leisurely" vacation! ... I doubt we would have time this year for Bangalore. As it is we have to take work with us, since we have a big work deadline 2 weeks after the planned trip. :)

Bangalore has changed so much in the past 5-7years.(Techies moved back from different parts of the world in swarms) Do stop by next time.

 

I must say I really disliked the markets / bazaars in India. I am so not used to people yelling at me and begging me to take a bigger discount than the next guy is offering, LOL. I must tolerate it in order to give the kids a true flavor for the place, though. ;) Our friends in Hyderabad did take us to some quieter markets and some rather fancy handicraft outlets. Though personally I am not big on shopping and would rather do the least permissible amount. LOL.

:D

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I am also going to India for an extended period of time, and I have had some worry over the recent news reports. However, close to the same time as the Swiss tourist attack, a woman was killed and her 10-year-old daughter raped in a mall parking lot in Albany, NY which is not that far from me. It happens everywhere. Keep in mind there are a billion people in India. Here are the reported statistics. http://en.wikipedia....e_statistics��I am sure the real incidence of rape is much higher in both places, but in 2010 for instance there were 84,000+ reported rapes in the US and 22,000+ in India. (But it is unlikely that the incidence of tourist rape in India is underreported.)

 

 

Probably because apparently the VAST majority of raped women in India do not even bother to report it, as they know there is nothing that will/can be done by doing so. A report I read (can't cite source as don't remember where) said that some women that have gone to the police have been re-raped by the police themselves! It's one of those things that I really hope is not true.

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Probably because apparently the VAST majority of raped women in India do not even bother to report it, as they know there is nothing that will/can be done by doing so. A report I read (can't cite source as don't remember where) said that some women that have gone to the police have been re-raped by the police themselves! It's one of those things that I really hope is not true.

 

I have heard similar reports.

 

Also in the case of the 5 year old that was abducted and raped for 40 hours on the news a few days ago, the family went to the police. the police REFUSED to even file a case until thousands and thousands of Indians protested for 2 days. they then went and arrested the man.

 

Apparently there is at least one rape in India every 20 minutes. most are not reported. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/24/india-rape-disturbing-attitudes-men

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I know they are usually more respectful of tourists but now raping tourists seems to be a sort of mini-trend. You know, copycats and all. And about the Taj Mahal. You have to drive from the nearest airport city (Delhi) and with traffic etc., it is a long drive. Once in Agra, at least the time I visited before, cars were not allowed to drive the final stretch to the Taj entrance. You had to hire a riksha. At this point it's starting to get dark. Our riksha driver promised to wait for us to come back out of the Taj Mahal but did not. So there we were (three women) in the dark, being approached by hollering market vendors (all men, hardly any women to be seen), looking for a riksha, and the electricity goes out so we're plunged into darkness. If I were a panicky person I would have had a heart attack. I'm thinking I should insist on an overnight stay in Agra before visiting the Taj if I'm taking the kids.

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I know they are usually more respectful of tourists but now raping tourists seems to be a sort of mini-trend. You know, copycats and all. And about the Taj Mahal. You have to drive from the nearest airport city (Delhi) and with traffic etc., it is a long drive. Once in Agra, at least the time I visited before, cars were not allowed to drive the final stretch to the Taj entrance. You had to hire a riksha. At this point it's starting to get dark. Our riksha driver promised to wait for us to come back out of the Taj Mahal but did not. So there we were (three women) in the dark, being approached by hollering market vendors (all men, hardly any women to be seen), looking for a riksha, and the electricity goes out so we're plunged into darkness. If I were a panicky person I would have had a heart attack. I'm thinking I should insist on an overnight stay in Agra before visiting the Taj if I'm taking the kids.

 

 

There is a new highway connecting Delhi and Agra. The drive takes about three hours and is over a very nice smooth, and FAST road. It's less than a year old. You still can't drive up to the Taj entrance but there are free golf cart type things that take the tourists from the Taj ticket office to the Taj entrance. Like I said in my post above, we took the kids there and it was really a pretty easy trip.

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I have only been to India pre kids but I wouldn't worry too much. When we traveled there I did feel it was easier when we had hired a driver (less per day than renting a car here) who were very protective and got the worst of the hucksters to leave us alone. Traveling by bus was more grim and I wouldnt do it with kids. Where we were at least bathroom breaks were by the side of the road. Our best experiences were when we hired a driver for the day through the hotel and then asked him to drive us a few more days.

 

When we were there we were at hotels and talked to several American families also staying where we were. In each case they were women (sometimes single, sometimes a couple) who were taking the daughters they had adopted from India back for their first visit. I have to say the girls looked shell shocked. One mother confided that in addition to the inherent emotion in such a trip, there was a shock at the poverty and that this could be their lives and was probably the life of their bio families. No one mentioned any bad personal safety experiences.

 

I have to say the urban poverty in Mumbai for example was more shocking than the rural poverty we saw in Rajastan. YMMV. Agra was a wonderful place to visit.

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Yes, do hire a driver. It is shockingly cheap. Ask your friend for a recommendation or your hotel can provide one. Or a taxi or tuk tuk. Don't even attempt public transportation (Indians will tell you the same when you are there).

 

I believe Hyderabad is the most famous as the home of biryani.

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There is a new highway connecting Delhi and Agra. The drive takes about three hours and is over a very nice smooth, and FAST road. It's less than a year old. You still can't drive up to the Taj entrance but there are free golf cart type things that take the tourists from the Taj ticket office to the Taj entrance. Like I said in my post above, we took the kids there and it was really a pretty easy trip.

 

Oh, that is good to know. Is it still a scenic drive? My favorite memories of the Delhi-Agra drive are the moms and kids farming by hand along the roadsides, all manner of vehicles and beasts of burden on the road (camels, bullock carts, donkeys, and ridiculously overloaded lorries), and just seeing the countryside. I hope we get to do that kind of drive at least once with the kids. :) However, it will surely be safer without the hurrying traffic that is now going by freeway. There were a lot of bad accidents.

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When we were there we were at hotels and talked to several American families also staying where we were. In each case they were women (sometimes single, sometimes a couple) who were taking the daughters they had adopted from India back for their first visit. I have to say the girls looked shell shocked. One mother confided that in addition to the inherent emotion in such a trip, there was a shock at the poverty and that this could be their lives and was probably the life of their bio families. No one mentioned any bad personal safety experiences.

 

I have to say the urban poverty in Mumbai for example was more shocking than the rural poverty we saw in Rajastan. YMMV. Agra was a wonderful place to visit.

 

I know what you mean. At New Year's I took my girls to visit their birth country, which also has a lot of poverty (though not as stark as what is seen in India). Even at 6 my eldest seemed to identify more with the poor people and I think it kind of depressed her. I think a mistake I made was not making it a kid-centered trip, i.e., including a zoo day or the like. Other folks in my situation have tried to shield their kids from the poverty, but I'm more of a "keep it real" kind of mom, up to a point. ... Another thing is, my kids have seen the movie Mother Teresa and while they were quite moved by the movie, it has made them a bit afraid to go to India. Frankly they don't want to see the dark side up close and personal. It is a balance for sure. There are amazing, rich, and beautiful things to see in India, and the faces of most people are content regardless of family income. Seeing the poverty in contrast with the smiles helped me to realize that after a point, money is only as important as we want it to be. I don't know if my kids will have that reaction or not. On the other hand, this will give me a chance to show my daughters what we're doing to help, as we are major funders of some kids' charities (orphanages, slum schools) that give destitute kids health and hope. I think they should see it, but it may take them some time to digest it all.

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There are amazing, rich, and beautiful things to see in India, and the faces of most people are content regardless of family income. Seeing the poverty in contrast with the smiles helped me to realize that after a point, money is only as important as we want it to be. I think they should see it, but it may take them some time to digest it all.

 

Reading previous posts on this thread, I infer that the current impression formed in some minds about India is women getting raped. Did a PP quote 'every 20 min'? I live here and those stats seem....implausible.

I think the media, (Indian and world) is partly to blame.

 

If you (general you reading this ) can withstand the first visit and look past the dirt, grime and poverty...you will keep coming back to try and bend your mind around the mystery that is a 5000 yr. culture which is also the most populous democracy in the world.

 

Fwiw, It forces one to look beyond appearances, beyond money, beyond all material things.

I have seen the poorest show great kindness and the richest show the worst apathy.

 

On that note, I'll bow out, but not before I wish SKL a safe and smooth journey!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I called a meeting with the adults who are planning this trip. We agreed on some safety precautions that we don't usually take. I think my friends were thinking, "whoa, if SKL is concerned about safety, we'd better get serious!" I'm the one who likes living on the edge, normally. ;) I appreciate everyone's advice about travel. I've been around, but I always neglect something and then regret it later.

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