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Somewhat OT: Extracurricular Issue


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DD will be 5 in June. She has been taking ice skating lessons since January. She is a good little skater and is really darling out there. We live in a resort town and all summer there are ice shows on the outdoor rink. Every week there is a different headliner, usually Olympians or World Champions. There is also an ensamble cast. Today, I was asked if DD could be in the shows. I am unsure because it would be every Saturday night for 3 months. The shows start at dark, so she would be skating between 9-11pm. She would be in front of 700 or so people, under bright lights....so lots of pressure, I would think. She WANTS to do it....I am not sure she should at her age. What are your thoughts?

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I think it is a big commitment and late nights. We have church on Sunday morning and there is no way either of my little dd's would want to wake up and go to church after skating and being up that late. Partially depends on your priorities.

 

Also depends on your dd. I probably would not do it. I think it would put a lot of pressure on her and little girls tend to glamorize things without realizing how much actual time, sacrifice, and work is involved. I would fear that it would make her feel "grown up" too quickly and have a negative impact. Those are my opinions and thoughts on what I would do with my dc.

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If she really wants to do it, and she has the personality for it, I'd let her. On the other hand, if she's normally very shy or seems ambivalent, I wouldn't because that would be too much for her at that age. She'll have some great memories if it works out.

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I would do it if you think she is going to go farther with skating competition, because it would give her such an edge with learning to skate in front of lots of people. HOWEVER, when my dd was five she was in a play in front of thousands of people and got so much positive attention that it was not good for her, so be prepared for that aspect if you do it. My older two children had never gotten so much attention and I did not know there is such a thing as too much positive attention so I did not handle that as well as I should have.

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How does she handle late nights? I just told my DD last night-and she agreed-that it would be better for her to stay on level 2 vs Level 3 cheer next season, even though she's capable of level 3 skills, because level 3 doesn't start practice until 7:30, and DD starts turning into a pumpkin by 8:00. I can't imagine her being able to handle something from 9-11 PM on a weekly basis.

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That is a big commitment for a 5 year old. She wants to do it now, but will she still want to do it on the 8th/9th/10th week in a row? What about rehearsals? Will she be the only 5 year old? Does she really need to be there for the entire performance? I mean, could she just be in the first act and then go home?

 

If it was for a week or two then I'd probably say yes, but this is huge - it's a quarter of her whole year! And she has only been skating for a couple of months...

 

I remember being part of a 3 week tour (daily) with a choir when I was 11, and it was great but very hard. Many kids fainted under the pressure of the lights, and I was the youngest.

 

Also, will she likely have chances in later years?

 

 

I'd personally be leaning towards no, a couple of special performances would be different, but this is huge and it sets a huge precedent IMO. If you say yes this year and it becomes and every year thing, then that's 3 months every year dedicated to this.

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That sounds like a wonderful opportunity. Personally, I would do it as long as . . .

-It won't impact negatively on the rest of the family

-She can handle staying up that late

-She can handle the pressure

 

I would also want to make sure that she understands the commitment (no quitting halfway through the season). I would also want to make sure dh and the rest of the family are on board. Even when it is a positive experience overall, these kinds of things require a bit of a sacrifice on the part of everyone. I would also be looking for balance in the rest of our lives (or during the rest of the year). Right now the family sacrifices to make dd's skating happen, but down the road everyone sacrifices for ds's important experience or for daddy's marathon.

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I would not do it. It's asking a four-year-old to make a commitment to something she can't possibly understand:

 

1) Skating in front of crowds of strangers

2) Being up late

3) Performing even if she's tired, grumpy, or not feeling well

4) Sticking to something because she said she would even if she decides she doesn't like it

 

I'm not a big fan of putting little kids in the public eye. I don't think they are mature enough for it.

 

That said, perhaps you could agree to one night. It would be special, but it would be done with quickly.

 

Tara

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