WWYD Would you interview for a great opportunity that doesn't really work

[*LC]

My senior applied for a generous national scholarship a while back. In addition to money, this scholarship came with future internships and conferences. One of the requirements for the scholarship is students must attend a 3-week conference this summer. My kid had no interest in attending the conference, because she would rather work and make money during the time. Plus, the conference dates butt up against some plans she has for this summer that cannot be changed. However, the money was too great to ignore, so I told her we would worry about that if she actually got the scholarship, which was a long-shot.

 

She did not get the scholarship, but she did get invited to interview for a scholarship to the conference. We don't know if getting this invitation is an honor or if all the scholarship "losers" received this invitation. We knew there was a separate scholarship for just the conference, but she did not apply for that...for the reasons stated above.

 

For those same reasons, she does not want to interview for the conference. On the other hand, interviewing would be good practice. I do not know if this conference/scholarship will also bring future opportunities.

 

I would love WWYD opinions.

 

The biggest problem are the dates. The conference starts on the same day she will be flying in from a 9-day international mission trip. She is scheduled to arrive early in the morning. I would meet her at the airport to say hi and swap out her suitcase, and then she would fly to the conference. We don't know the time the conference starts, but I have good reason to believe it is that afternoon/evening. In addition, the conference ends on the day she is to move in to her college dorm. We do not know when the conference ends. After it was over, she would have to fly home and then drive a few hours to college. Again, I would meet her at the airport with all her college belongings. So, she would have to have all her college stuff ready almost a month early. Plus, she has two jobs for this summer that she would need to quit 2-3 weeks early. The jobs know about the mission trip, and that she will be going to college in the fall.

 

If she was picked, she would go to the conference. It would mean a crazy start to college, but she would do it.

 

So, would you interview for the experience? Or, would you say do not risk being picked for something that would mean that much craziness? I feel this scholarship is also a longshot.

 

Thank you.

[sassenach]

I think I'd pass. It's not really interview practice if you're sitting there the whole time feeling disingenuous.

[regentrude]

No, I would not. If she really does not want to participate in this conference, I do not think the interview situation is very helpful for practice, because it is unrealistic: there is nothing at stake, she is not nervous, she does not care how the interview goes because she does not *want* to be selected.

(Not to mention being selected and then having to say "sorry, but I don't want to go". You never know which other organizations hear of this.)

[In The Great White North]

Why do you consider the conference (without the national scholarship) a "great opportunity"? Is it just for the interview experience or would it lead to the same internships as the original scholarship? Is it in a field she's interested in?

 

I know the schedule wouldn't bother ds at all, but if it's not a conference about something she's into, or doesn't get her to something she's into, why go?

 

I would not recommend interviewing with no intention of accepting.

[plansrme]

I would skip it. She has the rest of her life to learn to interview and to skip through airports with a kiss for Mom and a "see 'ya." This is the last times you will have her full-time before she's out of the nest. I would not forfeit that for a conference.

 

I know this is not true for everyone, but once I started college a few weeks after high school graduation, at the tender age of 17, I never again lived at home for more than about 10 days at a time. I spent every summer somewhere else and cut Christmas breaks short for work. My mom didn't mind because she didn't like me very much, but I'm betting you like you daughter, as I do mine. So I think of "going off to college" as one of those serious breaks. I know I will miss having my kids around, and I kind of tear up even thinking about it. THANKS, LC! But that is why I vote for keeping her with you for that extra week. You will need it, she will need it. There are plenty of conferences in her future.

 

Terri

[*LC]

If she really does not want to participate in this conference, I do not think the interview situation is very helpful for practice, because it is unrealistic: there is nothing at stake, she is not nervous, she does not care how the interview goes because she does not *want* to be selected.

 

This is why I appreciate these boards so much. They give me the opportunity to see things from such different perspectives.

 

I see the above from the complete opposite point of view. I think it is a great opportunity to have a serious, scholarly interview when there is nothing at stake. That way she will have this first interview, with the extra nerves of the first one, out of the way. I feel that would be an advantage if/when she has a similar interview for an opportunity she does want down the road. Knowing my kid, I feel confident that she would be serious about this interview and wouldn't show that she didn't "want to be selected.

 

I edited my original post to make it clear she would go to the conference if she was selected. Thanks for the heads up on that.

[*LC]

Why do you consider the conference (without the national scholarship) a "great opportunity"? Is it just for the interview experience or would it lead to the same internships as the original scholarship? Is it in a field she's interested in?

 

Yes, the conference is a great opportunity in a field she is interested in. I don't know if it opens doors to internships or other opportunities down the road.

 

She would attend if selected.

[Candid]

You need to find someone who knows about the overall scholarship to help you out with this one. Suppose she is on the edge of getting the scholarship but there are several competitors and they need to figure out which one to give it to? Or maybe they always do this to award more money later. Without knowing those sorts of details, this is an easy decision to skip, but if you knew those details and they meant more $$ later then the decision ceases to easy to make.

 

So get on the phone call people you know involved with this, the people running it etc. At the least go to the interview and clearly tell the person doing it the conflicts and ask if there are other opportunities beyond the conference that could come up and then LISTEN!

[*LC]

I know this is not true for everyone, but once I started college a few weeks after high school graduation, at the tender age of 17, I never again lived at home for more than about 10 days at a time. I spent every summer somewhere else and cut Christmas breaks short for work. ... I'm betting you like you daughter, as I do mine. So I think of "going off to college" as one of those serious breaks. ... I vote for keeping her with you for that extra week. You will need it, she will need it. There are plenty of conferences in her future.

Terri

 

I have to laugh, because my husband's experience was exactly the same. Mine was similar, except I was home for the summer before college. Once I left though, I never came back for a summer. I spent one summer gaining residency; I spent one summer working on campus in a job related to my major, and I spent one summer abroad. I was home working on Christmas breaks, but I normally left before New Year's. I did live at home while interning, but I went back to campus every weekend to enjoy my senior activities. I also lived at home for a few weeks after graduation while looking for a job.

 

I do love my daughter but... Not really a but, but it seems she is trying really, really hard right now to make me want her to leave. I have talked to others who are having the same experience with their daughters right now. I guess it is getting me ready to say goodbye in a few months.

 

Thanks for giving me something the think about.

[Caroline]

 

 

 

I do love my daughter but... Not really a but, but it seems she is trying really, really hard right now to make me want her to leave. I have talked to others who are having the same experience with their daughters right now. I guess it is getting me ready to say goodbye in a few months.

 

Thanks for giving me something the think about.

 

 

I hear this same story from lots of parents in fact, it is the main topic of conversation at varsity soccer games.

[*LC]

You need to find someone who knows about the overall scholarship to help you out with this one.

 

 

Thanks for the push. I did some looking into the conference scholarship and found additional details. I presented to the information to my kid. (We had a good conversation about it.) She decided to interview.

 

While she was on the computer working on setting that up, she checked her spam folder and found she had won scholarship from a different company. I don't know if/when she would have found that otherwise.

 

Thanks again.

[*LC]

 

 

I hear this same story from lots of parents in fact, it is the main topic of conversation at varsity soccer games.

 

 

Please tell me this is when you are watching the girls' games as a supportive mom. I have been assured this is a daughter thing and it won't be like this with the boys. Are you trying to take my hope away? Just kidding. I hope senior season is going well for your son.

[Caroline]

 

 

Please tell me this is when you are watching the girls' games as a supportive mom. I have been assured this is a daughter thing and it won't be like this with the boys. Are you trying to take my hope away? Just kidding. I hope senior season is going well for your son.

 

 

When would I have time to hang out at girls games? Just kidding!

[Kareni]

 

While she was on the computer working on setting that up, she checked her spam folder and found she had won scholarship from a different company.

 

Congratulations to your daughter on the scholarship win! And best wishes for a good interview.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[*LC]

Caroline,

 

I planned to write, "Is this between the games, while the girls' parents are waiting on their daughters to finish in the locker room and you are waiting on the boys' team to finish warming up, or was this while you were working the concession stand with the girls' parents." However, halftime was about to be over at the soccer game I was watching all by myself, so I went for quicker version. I want to live in bliss for the next few years, so I am going to forget your comment about it happening with boys too. Gotta go watch a tennis match, the first one I have made of the season.

 

Kareni,

 

Thanks. She was excited. I was surprised, because it was one that wanted lots of community service, which my daughter does not have much of. However, she applied, because the rest of it matched well.

[Caroline]

I will say that it hasn't happened with my DS. Does that give you hope? Glad you could make the tennis match. You amaze me.

 

And congrats to your DD on all of her successes. She is going to do great at college.

 

Caroline,

 

I planned to write, "Is this between the games, while the girls' parents are waiting on their daughters to finish in the locker room and you are waiting on the boys' team to finish warming up, or was this while you were working the concession stand with the girls' parents." However, halftime was about to be over at the soccer game I was watching all by myself, so I went for quicker version. I want to live in bliss for the next few years, so I am going to forget your comment about it happening with boys too. Gotta go watch a tennis match, the first one I have made of the season.

 

Kareni,

 

Thanks. She was excited. I was surprised, because it was one that wanted lots of community service, which my daughter does not have much of. However, she applied, because the rest of it matched well.

[Candid]

Thanks for the push. I did some looking into the conference scholarship and found additional details. I presented to the information to my kid. (We had a good conversation about it.) She decided to interview.

 

While she was on the computer working on setting that up, she checked her spam folder and found she had won scholarship from a different company. I don't know if/when she would have found that otherwise.

 

Thanks again.

 

 

Double the rewards!

[*LC]

Update.

 

She was selected for the program. Her first thought, this is crazy. Now, she is excited.

 

Luckily, she will be able to come home the day before she moves in to college. That will help.

 

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts. It is something that will be a great experience. She has been busy reading blog posts of people that have been in the past.

[Kareni]

Thanks for the update. I hope that she has a wonderful time and a rewarding experience.

 

Regards,

Kareni