s/o Boston Marathon

[bettyandbob]

My dd and I were discussing this just now. We've been out all afternoon and heard news on the radio and then talked while ds was in his OT/gross motor therapy. I was explaining why a terrorist would choose a marathon, as opposed to what some people might of as a more obvious target like a government building or something of military significance. She was upset, but not as much as me. She asked about when the last "terrorist attack" was. We didn't discuss which of was more upset and I did not think I was projecting being upset, but I guessed she sensed it. After a few minutes she said " I think your upset more than me, because in my lifetime this happens all the time. I think I'm conditioned to it.". I suspect she's lumping in mass shootings with terrorists acts because the effect is the same whether or not it's an organized plot against the government or a single sick individual the act makes innocent people feel helpless and terrorized when it happens.

 

dd is 15. That statement makes me sad.

 

We listened to more news on the way home (perhaps I should not have done that). I think she has a good sense of how awful this is. But I really hate to think my dc are conditioned by this type of violence.

 

i don't remember mass violence as a child. I do remember all the news reports from the "troubles" in Northern Ireland and stuff in Israel, but that was somewhere else for away.

 

I guess I have no point here, except I'm raising dc in such a different world and It makes me sad.

[Slartibartfast]

I don't know that it is a different world. The Edmond Post Office shooting happened when I was 11, I remember it vividly. I lived in a suburb of OKC at the time so it wasn't that far from us, about 45 minutes. I heard the explosion from the OKC bomb. That was in 95, it seems unreal that it was that long ago. It seems like yesterday.

 

There were school shootings in the 80s.

 

I don't think the difference is the level of violence but the level of news coverage and the amount of information people process as a result.

[Outdoorsy Type]

I grew up with Ruby Ridge, Waco, Murrah Building bombing, and Columbine. To me things seem the same.

[bettyandbob]

I grew up with Ruby Ridge, Waco, Murrah Building bombing, and Columbine. To me things seem the same.

 

 

 

These things occurred long after I was a self supporting adult.

[PrairieSong]

There has always been violence. I will date myself. When I was growing up, we saw the Vietnam War on the nightly news. There were violent protests here, and also race riots. Serial killers have been around for centuries. I remember stories of snipers Decades ago. Violence takes different forms and yes, we have more widespread, instant coverage, but it has always been around.

 

[Parrothead]

These things occurred long after I was a self supporting adult.

 

Me too.

 

There has always been violence. I will date myself. When I was growing up, we saw the Vietnam War on the nightly news. There were violent protests here, and also race riots. Serial killers have been around for centuries. I remember stories of snipers Decades ago. Violence takes different forms and yes, we have more widespread, instant coverage, but it has always been around.

 

There was a lot of violence when I was a kid in the 70s and 80s. And just as bad was the threat of violence that loomed over our heads every day.

[PrairieSong]

I do think that the news media coverage really does make a difference in our experience of events. You could turn on the TV to a cable news station and hear nothing but talking heads dramatizing this for the next 24 hours. That, at least, was not possible in 1985. After having kids (mine are too young to be told about this bombing) I quit watching the news. I read the newspaper, and I may watch limited amounts of TV news when the kids aren't around (like this afternoon when I heard about the bombing and the kids were outside). But I don't sit there and watch it for hours. I was visiting friends with no kids when the theater shooting happened this summer. We watched for an hour or two and really, I felt myself being traumatized by it. I am so sorry for those people, but, thank God, I don't know them. I asked if we could turn off the TV, and I think we all felt better. If you watch that stuff all day you either become traumatized or you become numb. I want to be aware of what happened, but I don't need every detail. I thank God I don't have that trauma in my life, and I pray it stays that way. I pray for the people to whom all the tragedies happened. I can imagine what happened to them without seeing the details for hours.

 

 

Yes, there is a glut of information about everything these days. After a while it is just too much, and is a relief to turn away. I, too, am sad for the victims of tragedy and for their families, but me sitting there watching cable news stories for hours on end does nothing to help anyone.

[SunnyDays]

I don't know... There has, of course, always been violence and evil, and I'm sure part of it is the readily available information from the Internet and 24 hour news channels. But growing up, I sure don't remember mass shootings, bombings, and the like happening so often.

[skeeterbug]

I grew up before most of that happened (graduated from high school in 1993.)

 

 

I was confused on this because I also graduated in 1993 but remember most of these as happening after high school, so I looked up the dates. All were 1992 or later. So really I was 'grown up' but still a young adult who felt very safe and secure in the world. I lived only a few hours away from the OKC bombing (1995) and it was the reaction of the adults around me that I remember more than anything else.

[Danestress]

Double

[Danestress]

I am 45. I think you are more upset by this because you are a mother. Once you are a mother, you receive news like this through a different lense, even if all the victims are adults (which they aren't, here).

 

I grew up with tragedy too. I was the results of Iraq chemically bombing Kurds, for example, and I remember being moved, but not like I would be now. When Oklahoma City happened I was not a mother, and it seemed sad but didn't register deeply. The same thing now would unglue me.

 

It is a new world in a way, for us. But girls all over the word hav lived with violence for generations. Our horror makes us sensitive towards those for whom it really is nothing new. But for our teen children, it probably will feel fresh and new when they have their own children to worry for.

[Slartibartfast]

I was confused on this because I also graduated in 1993 but remember most of these as happening after high school, so I looked up the dates. All were 1992 or later. So really I was 'grown up' but still a young adult who felt very safe and secure in the world. I lived only a few hours away from the OKC bombing (1995) and it was the reaction of the adults around me that I remember more than anything else.

 

 

I grew up seven miles from downtown OKC and heard the blast. It had a profound effect on me but it kind of surrounded me between people I knew being effected and it taking over everything everyone was doing at the time. Once I finished making sure my family was ok I started helping people I knew. I wasn't a mother but it was very close.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

I used to think that the world was getting worse and people were getting more violent.

 

Then two years ago, I had to take two college classes for my minor in World Military History. "Warfare from Antiquity to 1700" and "Warfare from 1700 to the Present". Reading about warfare through the ages and the TENS OF THOUSANDS of people who were murdered on a regular basis made the stuff that happens today seem tame. It was common place for women to be raped. Sieges were horrible. Men, women and children were sold into slavery. This is on top of all the diseases and common illnesses that killed people.

 

I couldn't help but think about how scary the world must have been back then. It has greatly changed how I view things that happen today.

 

[linders]

I think there has always been violence - I was born in 1960 in LA and vaguely remember the anxiety of adults at the time over the Vietnam War, Kent State, the Watts riots, the assasinations of MLK and Bobby Kennedy. There were frequent gang knifings in the schools. The Cold War, with the potential for nuclear war, was very real.

 

But unless you were on the spot, exposure to those events was limited to the 6 o'clock news and the newspaper. No immediate and round-the-clock exposure via news channels and online sources like we have now, no grizzly images sent moments after the fact from hundreds of smart phone cameras, no Anderson Cooper reporting live and in person within an hour of the event.

[oceanseve]

But unless you were on the spot, exposure to those events was limited to the 6 o'clock news and the newspaper. No immediate and round-the-clock exposure via news channels and online sources like we have now, no grizzly images sent moments after the fact from hundreds of smart phone cameras, no Anderson Cooper reporting live and in person within an hour of the event.

 

I think this has a lot to do with it and I think OP's child is showing a lot of maturity. I think it effects each person differently and their own personal history has a lot to do with it. The okc bombing effected me on an emotional level because my mother was supposed to be downtown that day for work. I heard the bomb, felt the earth shake and saw the smoke. She didn't change her plan until after she dropped me off for school and I spent the day trying to call her. I do the same thing now as I did back then for everything whether it's a man made catastrophe or natural disaster. I sit in front of the tv for a few days as everything unfolds. I didn't realize I did this until Newtown and I wouldn't watch it so that my children wouldn't be exposed to it. I realized I felt a NEED to watch it and I'm sure it all stems from what I went through emotionally after the OKC bombing.

[Mrs Mungo]

I used to think that the world was getting worse and people were getting more violent.

 

Then two years ago, I had to take two college classes for my minor in World Military History. "Warfare from Antiquity to 1700" and "Warfare from 1700 to the Present". Reading about warfare through the ages and the TENS OF THOUSANDS of people who were murdered on a regular basis made the stuff that happens today seem tame. It was common place for women to be raped. Sieges were horrible. Men, women and children were sold into slavery. This is on top of all the diseases and common illnesses that killed people.

 

I couldn't help but think about how scary the world must have been back then. It has greatly changed how I view things that happen today.

 

I agree. I think that the *world* is actually more peaceful than it once was. We live a lot longer. Relatively few of us lose a toddler or child to illness. I think that is why the random violence is more shocking. We are not numb to death or violence because it *is not* what we see or experience in every day life.

 

Eta: I think another piece of it is that we feel disconnected to the events that lead up to terrorist attacks.

[sparrow]

I agree that it is the 24/7 coverage we have now that makes it *seem* worse, but if you were an anxious kid, you dealt with this all through the seventies and eighties. I grew up in Michigan, so when I was very young, we heard about the Oakland County Child Killer on the nightly news. Then there was the Atlanta Child Killer. Anyone see a pattern here? Yeah, I never slept with my bedroom door closed and I faced the open door because I was afraid if I screamed, it would take longer to reach my parents if I was facing the wall.

 

I have a daughter that gets affected by these types of news reports quite strongly, however, she doesn't touch the level of anxiety I experienced as a kid. I had migraines and puked. I can't imagine growing up with the barrage of news reports we have today. I probably would have needed counseling.

[Joker]

I graduated in 1994 from Texas and vividly remember the the massacres in Waco and Killeen. The OKC bombing wasn't long after. I think the 24 hour media is just so much more prevalent today.

[Snow]

I agree that it is the 24/7 coverage we have now that makes it *seem* worse, but if you were an anxious kid, you dealt with this all through the seventies and eighties. I grew up in Michigan, so when I was very young, we heard about the Oakland County Child Killer on the nightly news. Then there was the Atlanta Child Killer. Anyone see a pattern here? Yeah, I never slept with my bedroom door closed and I faced the open door because I was afraid if I screamed, it would take longer to reach my parents if I was facing the wall.

 

I have a daughter that gets affected by these types of news reports quite strongly, however, she doesn't touch the level of anxiety I experienced as a kid. I had migraines and puked. I can't imagine growing up with the barrage of news reports we have today. I probably would have needed counseling.

 

 

I think we must be long lost sisters. Though, for me it was Americas Most Wanted, not necessarily the news.

[Janie Grace]

For me, the difference is pre vs post-9/11. Something happened that day in my psyche; I went from feeling safe to feeling vulnerable and scared. I don't feel that way all the time, but when there is a shooting or a terrorist act now (post-9/11), it hearkens back to that day and adds to the evidence that we can never again presume safety or peace.

 

I do think being a mother has to do with it, too. I was pregnant with my first baby when Columbine happened (that was a year or two before 9/11) and I remember being impacted by that in a different way... fearing teens in trench coats and instinctively covering my stomach sometimes. :(

[sparrow]

I think we must be long lost sisters. Though, for me it was Americas Most Wanted, not necessarily the news.

 

Yep, there's a trigger, too. We were vacationing in Florida when Adam Walsh was still missing. I vividly remember getting a Slurpee at 7-11, seeing a flier about Adam on the door of the 7-11, and going back to the motel and hearing coverage while putting my bathing suit on to go to the pool.

 

We have a freaked out sister bond!

[bettyandbob]

Ok, I'm 47. I had 2grad degrees, a career and got married before some of you finished high school. I suspect the 24 hour news cycle has some to do with this. I grew up in the DC area and still live here. I was aware of the Viet Nam. but it wasn't happening here. The news was on for 30 minutes and then my dad watched a PBS news magazine . I was aware of serial killers. Serial killers didn't affect me so much before the DC sniper. The DC sniper was unusual for serial killing I think. It was completely random and so many people were shot in a month. There was a serial rapist in my county, with some incidents in my neighborhood when I was in high school. That didn't bother me so much--I just followed all the advice police suggested.

 

I just don't remember mass killings occurring with regularity growing up. School shootings really started to hit the news in the 90s. Ruby ridge and Waco were 90s. There were shootings in inner city schools when I was a kid, but they seemed to be gang related or targeted. The first WTCattack was 93. columbine was 95. OKC Mura building. ...

 

My dd was almost 4 on 9/11, she was almost 5when we had the DC sniper. We have lots of family and friends associated with VA Tech so that made an impression. I did not have milestones like that. I remember watergate, Reagan being shot, big airplane accidents. I also remember hijackings, but I didn't travel by plane. I remember the Munich Olympics, but that wasn't in my neighborhood or my country. It was remote.

 

I do agree the world has always been violent, but this kind of violence feels different. The randomness of being shot with bunches of others or having a bomb explode in any place including my front yard didn't seem possible before.

[She Reads a Lot]

I graduated in 1994 from Texas and vividly remember the the massacres in Waco and Killeen. The OKC bombing wasn't long after. I think the 24 hour media is just so much more prevalent today.

 

I was at Baylor when the Koresh thing happened. We could see the smoke from the final fire from where we were studying on the top floor of the Hankammer Business building. It was weird and sad, but it was also surreal. As another poster said, if I'd had kids, I can't imagine how I would have reacted. But I was a 20-year-old college student, so even though it was right outside Waco, it didn't freak me out. I suppose it helped that I didn't know any of the people involved.

 

I do remember they had news coverage on a big TV set up in the dorm cafeteria I frequented. Don't know if it was running all day, but it was certainly on at every meal for a while there. So I'm not sure I would say the 24/7 news coverage is completely new to this decade/generation....

[Joker]

 

I was at Baylor when the Koresh thing happened. We could see the smoke from the final fire from where we were studying on the top floor of the Hankammer Business building. It was weird and sad, but it was also surreal. As another poster said, if I'd had kids, I can't imagine how I would have reacted. But I was a 20-year-old college student, so even though it was right outside Waco, it didn't freak me out. I suppose it helped that I didn't know any of the people involved.

 

I do remember they had news coverage on a big TV set up in the dorm cafeteria I frequented. Don't know if it was running all day, but it was certainly on at every meal for a while there. So I'm not sure I would say the 24/7 news coverage is completely new to this decade/generation....

 

I was talking about this with dh earlier. Maybe it's because at the time these things happened, I only caught a bit of news here and there. We rarely sat down to watch tv and when we did it was for short bursts of time. Now, many are connected 24/7 due to phones and computers. So, it is a bit different.

[chepyl]

I went to school close to downtown OKC. We felt the blast, it shook our building. A kid at our school lost her dad and a good friend lost his mother. We had the tv on all day for the next week. You could leave any class and go sit in the lecture hall to watch it anytime you wanted. Some classes just watched tv for a few days.

 

I remember lots.of coverage of Columbine and Escort before that. Before those two, I just remember hearing blurbs on the news. I definateoy thin the increase of tv coverage has changed things. I have seen no images of Boston. I listened to the story on the radio this afternoon, we never turned the tv in because I don't want my young children be scared.

[She Reads a Lot]

I was talking about this with dh earlier. Maybe it's because at the time these things happened, I only caught a bit of news here and there. We rarely sat down to watch tv and when we did it was for short bursts of time. Now, many are connected 24/7 due to phones and computers. So, it is a bit different.

 

OK, that makes sense. I don't have a smartphone, but I get your point. It's not that the coverage wasn't there in the past few decades. It is that it is so much harder to avoid/tune out/turn it off than before. And that would make it feel more traumatic, I think.

 

Good point!

[Joker]

 

OK, that makes sense. I don't have a smartphone, but I get your point. It's not that the coverage wasn't there in the past few decades. It is that it is so much harder to avoid/tune out/turn it off than before. And that would make it feel more traumatic, I think.

 

Good point!

 

Yes, and I also don't remember tvs being everywhere. Now, I can hardly eat out or go anywhere without having a screen in my face. I think it's much harder to avoid the information today than it once was.

[Acorn]

I grew up with knowledge of a school bombing in 1927. The Bath School in Michigan had 45 deaths and about 50 injuries. I don't remember how old I was when I learnedabout the tragedy.