Doran Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 I'm in tears now after reading an email from my brother describing my father's admittance to a nursing home yesterday. I was fully aware that this was going to happen, not just in a general sense, but down to the day and time. My mother, in fact, called me from the parking lot of the facility right before they went in. I choked back my emotions then, in an effort to be supportive. But, here at my desk, with not another soul around to see, I have come unglued. My brother told of how my father cried at hearing the news that the time had come (they waited to tell him, to minimize the oppressive worry that would have overtaken him immediately), that my mother was no longer able to care for him at home. The director of the nursing home even came to their house to soften the blow and provide helpful explanations. My mother was there. And, a caregiver, Pat, who is an angel to my family. My kids are there, in the midst of all of this. This has been my father's most abiding fear - though he has so many. Today, my mother tells me that he has gone from being sad to being spitting mad. Little details of his care have already slipped through the cracks, but it's all so new, I'm not completely surprised by that. The staff are doing their best with a new member of their "community". Yet, I can hardly describe the pain I feel for my father right now, despite the fact that I believe this to be the best of a host of imperfect choices. Aside from being confused by his new surroundings, I fear he is going to feel utterly abandoned by those who love him. I am thinking of how often our elderly feel this way, whether justified or not. I am thinking, even, how tragic it may be, for some, that as a society, we are now capable of extending life past the point of our bodies' and minds' ability to function properly. There are countless numbers of souls for whom stepping out of this journey on earth would be a blessing. I know that many of you have walked or are walking a similar paths, so I am not alone in my heartache. I also know that there is little anyone can say to make this hurdle anything but what it is. For the therapeutic effect it offers me, and for the possibility that what I'm going through now could help someone else at another time, I appreciate the opportunity to write this out. There is hope in the fact that some kind, gentle-man, a resident, introduced himself to my father last night and sat with him at dinner. We will get through this together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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