I want to HS, but... (x-post)

[blue daisy]

(cross posted on special needs board)

 

Hi, I'm new, although I have been reading the board for a while. I've always wanted to homeschool my kids, but for various reasons, didn't feel like it was the right choice yet. My oldest son is in second grade in a public school and it's going fine. He has Asperger's and ADHD, but is also gifted, especially in the area of math. My middle son is in an early childhood special ed class for anxiety and emotional difficulties. He is 5 and will go to an all day K next year. I have a very busy toddler at home too. Honestly, I feel like I'm ready to begin our homeschool journey now, at least with my older son, but my husband doesn't think it's the right choice. Both boys get special services in school and I do feel like they help. So we are hesitating to bring them home because I don't know that I can offer the same kind of support for their special needs. My middle son, in particular, is very challenging, and the school he's at is really helping him work through his emotions and behavior. On the other hand, I feel like I can do other things better than the schools can (tailor curriculum to learning needs and interests, keeping them challenged), and there are so many aspects of homeschooling that have nothing to do with the academics that I love - keeping our own schedule, learning as a family, spending our days together, etc.

 

So, if you were in my situation, what would you do? Basically, I'm ready to make the leap, but my husband feels that they're fine, if not better off, where they are, mainly because of the services they receive there..

 

Thank you so much for reading.

[Five More Minutes]

My husband wasn't ready for us to homeschool as quickly as I was, for legitimate reasons beyond "it's outside the norm." We have a daughter who is highly gifted, with many of the emotional ups and downs that go with that.

 

So we started with afterschooling while my eldest was in K. I researched a lot and played with different curricula. After six months of afterschooling, we felt we could compare the public school situation she was in against the homeschooling situation as it would be in real life. When we made that comparison, we both knew that we had a winning homeschooling combination. By taking the time to evaluate how homeschooling actually would work in our family, we've both been 100% on board with homeschooling, and my husband takes on large portions of the fun extras with the girls. (Art, astronomy, birdwatching, nature hikes, Shakespeare, poetry memorization -- those are all Daddy's domain. :-) )

 

So can you test the waters a bit first? Is that an option?

[Um_2_4]

You didn't mention what state you are in, but you might want to check because in some states homeschoolers can get services throgh the local school district. Plus if you have health insurance, some private thearpy might be covered that way.

[blue daisy]

We are in Minnesota. Do you know where I can find out more about getting services in schools while HS? We have not had the best luck with our insurance covering private services.

[Anne in CA]

This is so hard because getting home schooling buy in from the man of the family is essential. I would make sure this is just about services though. In some cases a man does not want to home school because he is expecting his wife to go back to work when all kids are in school. The man may not want to say this though. Another thing he might be worried about is how home schooling will change a home routine that is working. Some people HATE to fix what is working. This is another thing a man might not want to say. (for good reason, lol)

 

I would make sure that he is only worried about the services. I would be loving and respectful, but I would want to know that it is only about the services at school before I used all my arguments on that.

[Um_2_4]

Maybe someone here from Minnesota will chime in. Or google "Minnesota HS laws"?

There is a section on the boards for "networking board", see if there is a Minnesota section?

[blue daisy]

This is so hard because getting home schooling buy in from the man of the family is essential. I would make sure this is just about services though. In some cases a man does not want to home school because he is expecting his wife to go back to work when all kids are in school. The man may not want to say this though. Another thing he might be worried about is how home schooling will change a home routine that is working. Some people HATE to fix what is working. This is another thing a man might not want to say. (for good reason, lol)

 

I would make sure that he is only worried about the services. I would be loving and respectful, but I would want to know that it is only about the services at school before I used all my arguments on that.

 

 

Thank you, those are good points. I think we have more discussing to do. ;)

[blue daisy]

Maybe someone here from Minnesota will chime in. Or google "Minnesota HS laws"?

There is a section on the boards for "networking board", see if there is a Minnesota section?

 

 

Thanks, I will check there. I appreciate it.

[blue daisy]

My husband wasn't ready for us to homeschool as quickly as I was, for legitimate reasons beyond "it's outside the norm." We have a daughter who is highly gifted, with many of the emotional ups and downs that go with that.

 

So we started with afterschooling while my eldest was in K. I researched a lot and played with different curricula. After six months of afterschooling, we felt we could compare the public school situation she was in against the homeschooling situation as it would be in real life. When we made that comparison, we both knew that we had a winning homeschooling combination. By taking the time to evaluate how homeschooling actually would work in our family, we've both been 100% on board with homeschooling, and my husband takes on large portions of the fun extras with the girls. (Art, astronomy, birdwatching, nature hikes, Shakespeare, poetry memorization -- those are all Daddy's domain. :-) )

 

So can you test the waters a bit first? Is that an option?

 

 

Thanks for sharing. We don't do any formal afterscooling, but I'd say our home environment is pretty educational by nature. By which I mean, we are often reading, exploring idea, discussing what the kids are interested in, taking trips to the library, nature center, zoo, etc. My oldest is quite interested in science and my husband does a lot of experiments and explorations with him. I keep telling him, "See, you are homeschooling and you didn't even know it!" LOL I want him to see that it can be a very natural part of our daily family life. I think part of the issue is that he has no real experience with anyone homeschooling (and doesn't read, read, read about it like I do), so in his mind, it's still kind of "out there."

[blue daisy]

After doing a little searching, I've learned that homeschooled students can receive special services through our district as "shared-time students." Does anyone have any experience with that?

[kirstenhill]

Hi Blue Daisy, I don't have any experience with shared time with the district, but I am in Minnesota. Have you joined any Minnesota based homeschooling email lists? ECHO-MN at Yahoo Groups is a great list with lots of members, and I am sure someone can give you more advice on how this specifically works in Minnesota -- possibly even someone who has done it in the same district you are in!

 

Good luck on your decision!

[Tracy]

This is so hard because getting home schooling buy in from the man of the family is essential.

 

:iagree: I have a good friend that is going through this right now. Her oldest is in 2nd grade and is absolutely exhausted after school, though she is doing fine academically. And my friend really misses her kids and wants to spend more time with them. Her dh is very much against homeschooling. He says that they are in a fine school and are doing well, and he doesn't think you should mess with that. Knowing them, I believe there are things that he is not saying, though. I think he doubts his wife's ability to focus on homeschooling and worries they will get behind. I know they are struggling financially, and he wants her to work. I know they have family members who are helping them financially and will likely withdraw that assistance if they homeschool. There is a lot that is not being said.

 

Above all, child needs the security of knowing his parents are on the same page when it comes to major life decisions. Unless you think your dc is in danger, you owe it to your family to spend the time and effort it takes to work this out together before embarking on your homeschool journey.

[blue daisy]

Thank you, Kirsten - I'll be checking that out.

 

Tracy - I completely agree. We both need to be fully behind this to make it work. He's not dead set against it, just not ready to make the leap. But yes, I want his full support before we do it.

 

I'm trying to work through all his concerns and make sure I fully understand his reasons. Meeting the kids' special needs is a valid concern, one that I have too, and I'm just looking for ideas of how other families have made that work.