LDS General Conference--it's time!

[Xuzi]

Here's a question. Do you "manifest it" at home? Sometimes I do and sometimes not. I was just wondering what ya'll do. :)

We do. :)

[prairiewindmomma]

Elder Scott is a dynamic speaker IRL. It's interesting to hear him slow his pace...I assume for those translating.

[mamatohaleybug]

Many great talks today! Anyone have a favorite? I had a bunch of favorites. :D

[MeaganS]

I was a fan of Bednar, Eyring, and one of the Seventies during the second session, but i can't remember what his name was.

[gardenmom5]

Did you all see that there's going to be an additional session? It'll be way, way awesome.

 

for a minute, I thought they were bringing back the welfare session. It was the very first session on saturday morning. we listened to it on a sideband radio - our time was about 6am. they got rid of it in the 80's.

[Xuzi]

The welfare session? I'd never heard of that. What was included in that session?

[prairiewindmomma]

I had problems keeping the natives quiet during the afternoon session, so I'm excited to read those talks later...I suspect I'll like them more when I can pay full attention.

 

I'm a huge Sis. Dalton fan. I'm really going to miss her. She came and did a regional training for us a year and a half ago and that is a treasured memory for me. When I hear her speak, I can still feel the power and joy and love that radiates from her. It's really interesting to go back and read her early talks from when she was first called and then to watch her talks as time progresses; her message of the importance of virtue becomes clearer and more powerful. As she was speaking today, I knew she was due to be released....and it was a beautiful capstone address highlighting the theme of virtue that has been at the center of her leadership.

[Xuzi]

I had problems keeping the natives quiet during the afternoon session, so I'm excited to read those talks later...I suspect I'll like them more when I can pay full attention.

 

I'm a huge Sis. Dalton fan. I'm really going to miss her. She came and did a regional training for us a year and a half ago and that is a treasured memory for me. When I hear her speak, I can still feel the power and joy and love that radiates from her. It's really interesting to go back and read her early talks from when she was first called and then to watch her talks as time progresses; her message of the importance of virtue becomes clearer and more powerful. As she was speaking today, I knew she was due to be released....and it was a beautiful capstone address highlighting the theme of virtue that has been at the center of her leadership.

 

I liked the 70 who spoke later on in the session, who pointed out that he was wearing his "virtue" (gold-colored) tie in her honor. :lol:

[Xuzi]

This quote from last night's Priesthood session has been popping up on my Facebook feed this morning. LOVE it!

 

“While the atonement is meant to help us all become more like Christ, it is not meant to make us all the same. Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin. We can even make the mistake of thinking that because someone is different from us, it must mean they are not pleasing to God. This line of thinking leads some to believe that the Church wants to create every member from a single mold; that each one should look, feel, and behave like every other. This would contradict the genius of God, who created every man different from his brother, every son different from his father; even identical twins are not identical in their personalities and spiritual identities. It also contradicts the intent and purpose of the Church of Jesus Christ, which acknowledges and protects the moral agency, with all of its far-reaching consequences, of each and every one of God’s children. As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are united in our testimony of the restored gospel, and our commitment to keep God’s commandments, but we are diverse in our social, cultural, and political preferences. The Church thrives when we take advantage of this diversity and encourage each other to use and develop our talents to lift and strengthen our fellow disciples.â€

-Dieter Uchtdorf, 6 April 2013.

[gardenmom5]

The welfare session? I'd never heard of that. What was included in that session?

 

it was a regular two hour session, just really early on saturday morning. it was started in the 30's/40's when the church started the welfare program. alot of the talks were aimed at supporting the program. it ended in the early 80's.

[DianeW88]

How I love Elder Uchtdorf!!! And this post on one of my favorite blogs just cracked me up! http://middle-agedmormonman.blogspot.com/2011/04/10-reasons-elder-uchtdorf-is-cooler.html

[MeaganS]

My 4 year old autistic daughter observed innocently to me during Pres. Monson's talk, "President Monson doesn't have any hair. Elder uchtdorf has hair." :)

[MeaganS]

Overall, I've enjoyed conference a lot. I did think Elder Perry was going to pound the podium there for a minute, but I enjoyed his talk. Uchtdorf's was another of my favorites.

[garddwr]

I loved every talk this morning. I can't wait to listen to them all again.

[thebacabunch]

President Monson's talk this morning was wonderful! Can we fire the stylist for the women of motab, though? Those pepto pink layered tents......sigh. I find them distracting in their awfulness (off to repent now). Seriously though, great conference!

[Xuzi]

President Monson's talk this morning was wonderful! Can we fire the stylist for the women of motab, though? Those pepto pink layered tents......sigh. I find them distracting in their awfulness (off to repent now). Seriously though, great conference!

 

I actually thought the dresses were lovely, particularly the necklaces and flowers.

[Xuzi]

Elder Holland rocked it as always, and Elder Falabella: "Blanca! Shake hands with everybody!" :lol:

[garddwr]

President Monson's talk this morning was wonderful! Can we fire the stylist for the women of motab, though? Those pepto pink layered tents......sigh. I find them distracting in their awfulness (off to repent now). Seriously though, great conference!

 

 

:iagree: Though I wouldn't personally want the job of designing performance outfits that could look decent on every different body type.

[garddwr]

Elder Holland rocked it as always, and Elder Falabella: "Blanca! Shake hands with everybody!" :lol:

 

 

That was awesome! (The rest of his talk was great, too.)

[Sara in AZ]

Elder Holland rocked it as always, and Elder Falabella: "Blanca! Shake hands with everybody!" :lol:

 

 

I agree. Elder Holland bears such powerful testimony in such a loving way. His was a timely message in my sphere.

[Xuzi]

So, who is bummed that it's over already?

 

Elder Holland's talk was timely for me. His comment on holding onto the ground we've already won (in regards to maintaining faith in times of doubt) reminded me of a quote my brother gave me when I was doubting: "Don't let what you don't know destroy your faith in what you do know."

 

There are still some days where I feel like I'm struggling, so his talk was just what I needed to hear.

[MamaSheep]

I was at my sister's for my nephew's baptism and missed most of it. I got to listen to the Saturday morning session (mostly) but I spent the Saturday afternoon session in the kitchen helping with set-up and clean-up of a post baptism lunch for over 40 people. And then Sunday I tried to watch the morning session, but there were gazoodles of happy little children running around (from extended family on both sides who were staying at my sister's new big house--SO fun, but rather noisy and distracting) and then we grabbed some lunch and headed home so as to avoid incoming inclement weather, so I was somewhere in the vast uncivilized stretches of Wyoming during the afternoon session. I might have been able to find it on the radio, but decided to just watch it when I can actually pay attention. Sounds like I missed some good stuff.

[Xuzi]

Do we want to discuss a talk a day like we've done previously?

[MamaSheep]

Do we want to discuss a talk a day like we've done previously?

 

 

Count me in! I'm going to be going through all of them again anyway and it would be fun to have someone to discuss them with.

[Xuzi]

I'd like to start with Rosemary Wixom's talk (Gen. Primary President). As a struggling mother and homeschooling parent it was very timely for me. :)

 

Here's a summary from lds.org:

"One of the greatest influences a person can have in this world is to influence a child," said Sister Rosemary M. Wixom, general Primary president.

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Helaman taught his sons to center their lives on Christ. These sons did so, and when they were cast into prison, it was a "still voice of perfect mildness" (Helaman 5: 30) that came to them.

 

"We can learn from that voice from heaven. It not loud, scolding or demeaning; it was a still voice of perfect mildness, giving firm direction while giving hope."

She told of a mother who lost her child, Connor, in a fabric store. As her panic increased, she yelled her child's name louder and became frantic. Another store patron prayed and had the thought that Connor might be too frightened to respond to his screaming mother. She and another woman walked between the tables of fabric, saying quietly, "Connor, if you can hear my voice, say, 'Here I am.'" Soon, the boy responded.

Pray to know a child's needs, Sister Wixom counseled, adding that the Holy Ghost will reveal what is needed

Disconnect and listen with love, she advised. She cited a recent study showed that when a parent of an 18-month-old was more engaged with his phone than with his child, there was "a dimming of the child's internal light, a lessening of the connection between parent and child." She suggested finding a time each day to "disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other."

 

She recommended writing "to persuade our children." She related the account President Thomas S. Monson shared of a prisoner of war in Vietnam in the 1960s. He was allowed to write only 25 words to his family, so he focused on what was most important.

"What words would you write to your children if you had 25 words or less?" Sister Wixom asked.

She said it would make a difference if parents took the time to tell their children, "You are a child of God" and "I love everything about you." She points out that Heavenly Father called His Son "beloved … in whom I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17).

"May the words we speak and write to our children reflect the love our Heavenly Father has for His son, Jesus Christ, and for us. And then may we pause to listen, for a child is most capable of speaking great and marvelous things in return."

© 2013 Deseret News Publishing Company

 

 

 

And a video:

http://www.lds.org/g...01&cid=CN000081

[Heidi]

I'd like to start with Rosemary Wixom's talk (Gen. Primary President). As a struggling mother and homeschooling parent it was very timely for me. :)

 

Here's a summary from lds.org:

 

 

And a video:

http://www.lds.org/g...01&cid=CN000081

 

 

This is the talk that impacted me the most so far (I haven't listened to all of the talks yet). Especially the study on using the internet verses paying attention to your children. Totally guilty. I've known deep down that it was impacting my kids in a negative way when I would opt to be on the internet instead of playing with them. I have tried to be better at staying off the computer when they are around and needing/wanting me, but it is hard. The computer is addicting and I get bored being with little kids so much. Hearing it in her talk has really made me think about it and desire to change.

I also enjoyed the story about the mother who lost her son in the store, and how we need to pay attention to how we speak to our kids. I get frustrated too often and start being mean mommy. Or sometimes I will do/say something that hurts their tender feelings because I wasn't being sensitive and aware of what I was saying.

It is tough, but I know that if I want my children to feel confident and love the gospel and have the Spirit in our home, I definitely need to do some changing.

[Xuzi]

I'm right there with you with dealing with internet addiction (because at this point I do believe it's a bit of an addiction for me. not life-destroying, but life-inhibiting in some respects). The internet is much more entertaining than children, and yet it's my children that are my most important responsibility, and who I love the most. I'd still be able to breath and function without the internet. I don't know how I'd deal with the loss of any one of my three children. I need to let the priorities of my actions match the priorities of my heart.

[Xuzi]

Here are my own notes from that talk (please forgive my grammar :p) :

 

*One of the greatest opportunities to influence is to influence a child.

 

*To speak to a child's heart we must know a child's needs.

 

*Disconnect tech => connect with children.

 

*Pause and listen to our children.

[MamaSheep]

I want to go back through it when the transcripts are up, but one thing I remember is that I liked what she said about the teacher helping children feel safe making mistakes because then they felt empowered to TRY.

 

I also appreciated her comments about the effect the words we choose and the way we say them can have on a child, and speaking to a child's heart by really knowing the child's needs. The part about the voice from heaven being an example for parents reminded me of how often we are told that our homes should be like the temple. There is no scolding or demeaning in the temple, but rather kind assistance, soft voices that give firm direction while offering hope, and smiles even when the ordinance workers are tired and flustered.

 

Her thoughts on "parental benign neglect" really made me consider how much I am "connecting" with my children, versus how much I am "connecting" with technology.

[Xuzi]

Yes! Her comment about how the Spirit communicates resonated with me too, as I've found myself yelling waaaaay too often at my kids lately. It may be effective at getting them to listen, but at too high a cost, IMO.

[MamaSheep]

I had to laugh a little at the post-baptism lunch on Saturday afternoon when the 40+ people in attendance were making lots of happy social noise and it was time to bless the food and eat. One of the men stood up and hollered for everyone to please be quiet so we could have a prayer, and nobody paid any attention to him. After a few minutes, one of the women stood up and started in with a routine of saying softly, "If you can hear me, touch your nose. If you can hear me, pat your tummy. If you can hear me, tug your ear..." and so forth. A wave of quiet spread rapidly out from where she was standing, and after a few minutes she said quietly, "Thank you for listening, it's time for a prayer," and turned it over to the host to call on someone to pray. It made me think of that talk. It also made me think that woman had probably served in Primary at some point (she was a sister-in-law of my brother-in-law, and I don't know her history).

[MamaSheep]

What talk shall we discuss today?

[Xuzi]

I'm looking at the ones lds.org has previews up for so far. How about For Peace At Home by Elder Scott?

 

Here were my notes from that talk:

 

*Ideal place for peace is in the home

*Center home and life on the Lord

*Parents lead, and children can help bring the Spirit into the home.

*Daily Prayer + Scripture Study + Family Home Evening = Christ-Centered Home

*Small omissions can lead to big problems, likewise small efforts can lead to big blessings.

*Be aware of how you use technology.

*Trust in the Lord and His timing.

 

The bolded is what stuck out to me the most. When the kids kick and fight through most of our morning devotional, or whine about having to sit at the table for dinner instead of watching cartoons, I'll remember that my "small effort" may yet bring out some good fruits. :)

[MamaSheep]

I'm looking at the ones lds.org has previews up for so far. How about For Peace At Home by Elder Scott?

 

Here were my notes from that talk:

 

*Ideal place for peace is in the home

*Center home and life on the Lord

*Parents lead, and children can help bring the Spirit into the home.

*Daily Prayer + Scripture Study + Family Home Evening = Christ-Centered Home

*Small omissions can lead to big problems, likewise small efforts can lead to big blessings.

*Be aware of how you use technology.

*Trust in the Lord and His timing.

 

The bolded is what stuck out to me the most. When the kids kick and fight through most of our morning devotional, or whine about having to sit at the table for dinner instead of watching cartoons, I'll remember that my "small effort" may yet bring out some good fruits. :)

 

 

Sounds good. That was one of the ones I missed, so I'll have to go listen before I comment.

 

(It seems I am going to have another long drive through Wyoming, this time going north for my grandfather's funeral this weekend. Sigh. Maybe I'll see if I can get the conference sessions downloaded to an electronic gadget I can take with me this time and listen.)

[DianeW88]

I love Elder Scott!! Love him. I will join in the discussion as soon as I have time to review his talk again, but what you bolded, Xuzi, struck me as well. I'm going to put that quote on my fridge.

[mamatohaleybug]

I'm sorry, Amy. :(

 

I'll need to reread or rewatch the talk before I comment on Elder Scott's talk. I loved it but didn't take notes during that one. Hopefully I'll have a chance today. My DD has had a migraine (or possibly shunt failure) for 7 days and I'm exhausted. :(

[mamatohaleybug]

These are the biggest standouts for me:

 

Be certain that every decision you make, whether temporal or spiritual, is conditioned on what the Savior would have you do. - Just a great reminder for me in general.

 

If you young people would review a verse of scripture as often as some of you send text messages, you could soon have hundreds of passages of scripture memorized. Those passages would prove to be a powerful source of inspiration and guidance by the Holy Ghost in times of need. - A great reminder to help my DD keep memorizing scripture as part of our "school" day. I know having those words in her mind will bless her immeasurably.

 

We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time. - This is SO encouraging for me. I needed to hear this.

[MamaSheep]

I typed this up before the servers went down and stored it up in a word processing document. It was also before they got the transcripts on the conference site, so the quotes I pulled out are ones I transcribed myself and I haven't gone back to check for accuracy. Anyway. Here's what I've got for Elder Scott's talk:

 

 

"Many voices in the world in which we live tell us we should live at a frantic pace. There's always more to do and more to accomplish..."

 

Isn't THAT the truth! love that he focuses on finding peace. Great topic. So many people are so riled up about so many things these days.

 

I also quite liked that he pointed out that parents have a responsibility to teach their children to think about the effects their actions will have on other people, and that children also have a level of responsibility for having a peaceful, Christ-centered home; it's not ALL on the parents.

 

The story about the missionary who had been raised in foster homes and wanted to observe the mission president's family to see how an LDS family should operate was very touching. One comment my husband (who is an adult convert) has made that has stuck with me is that he loves that the Church not only teaches that families can be together forever, it also teaches HOW to be an eternal family.

 

More quotes (transcribed by me from the audio, so if there are errors they're mine):

 

"Be a true friend. This kind of enduring friendship is like asphalt, it fills the potholes of life and makes the journey smoother and more pleasant. It should not be used as a resource to gain personal advantage, but as a treasure to be appreciated and shared. Welcome into your home others who need to be strengthened by such an experience."

 

"Recognize the good in others, not their stains."

 

"We need not worry if we can't simultaneously do all the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, he will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him, one consistent step at a time."

 

That last one I find very comforting. It reminds me of some scripture passages:

 

Mosiah 4:27

 

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

 

D&C 50:40-42,

 

"40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.

 

41 Fear n"Many voices in the world in which we live tell us we should live at a frantic pace. There's always more to do and more to accomplish..."

 

 

Isn't THAT the truth! love that he focuses on finding peace. Great topic.

 

 

I also quite liked that he pointed out that parents have a responsibility to teach their children to think about the effects their actions will have on other people, and that children also have a level of responsibility for having a peaceful, Christ-centered home; it's not ALL on the parents.

 

 

The story about the missionary who had been raised in foster homes and wanted to observe the mission president's family to see how an LDS family should operate was very touching. One comment my husband (who is an adult convert) has made that has stuck with me is that he loves that the Church not only teaches that families can be together forever, it also teaches HOW to be an eternal family.

 

 

More quotes (transcribed by me from the audio, so if there are errors they're mine):

 

 

"Be a true friend. This kind of enduring friendship is like asphalt, it fills the potholes of life and makes the journey smoother and more pleasant. It should not be used as a resource to gain personal advantage, but as a treasure to be appreciated and shared. Welcome into your home others who need to be strengthened by such an experience."

 

 

"Recognize the good in others, not their stains."

 

 

"We need not worry if we can't simultaneously do all the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, he will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him, one consistent step at a time."

 

 

That last one I find very comforting. It reminds me of some scripture passages:

 

 

Mosiah 4:27

 

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

 

 

D&C 50:40-42,

 

"40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.

 

41 Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;

 

42 And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost."

 

 

D&C 78:17-18

 

 

17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

 

18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

 

 

John 16:12-15

 

 

12 I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.

 

13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

 

14 He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you.

 

15 All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall shew it unto you.

 

 

Anyway. Good stuff.

 

 

And I really liked Elder Scott's testimony at the end:

 

 

"I bear testimony that living an obedient life firmly rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ provides the greatest assurance for peace and refuge in our homes. There will still be plenty of challenges or heartaches, but even in the midst of turmoil we can enjoy inner peace and profound happiness. I testify that the atonement of Jesus Christ is the source of that abundant peace, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

 

 

 

ot, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;

 

42 And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost."

D&C 78:17-18

 

 

17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

 

18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

John 16:12-15

 

 

12 I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.

 

13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear,

that

shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

 

14 He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew

it

unto you.

 

15 All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall shew

it

unto you.

Anyway. Good stuff.

 

And I really liked Elder Scott's testimony at the end:

"I bear testimony that living an obedient life firmly rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ provides the greatest assurance for peace and refuge in our homes. There will still be plenty of challenges or heartaches, but even in the midst of turmoil we can enjoy inner peace and profound happiness. I testify that the atonement of Jesus Christ is the source of that abundant peace, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

[Xuzi]

 

We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time. - This is SO encouraging for me. I needed to hear this.

I agree! I may need to stick it on my fridge!

[MamaSheep]

Deleted unintentional multi-post. Dang, I wonder what I did that made that thing post three times.

[MamaSheep]

Deleted unintentional multi-post.

[MamaSheep]

I don't know if you had a talk picked out for today, so I hope you'll forgive my clumsiness if I'm stepping on toes.

 

I've been listening to Elder Ellis's talk from Saturday afternoon today. I loved his list of things he learned as a farm boy. They're all things I need to maybe focus on a bit more in my life right now (speaking of things that should be emphasized at particular phases in our lives).

 

 

I grew up on a farm near Burley, Idaho—a real “Idaho farm boy!†As such I learned:

• 1.
  To work—if you don’t plant, you don’t harvest.
  
  
• 2.
  To work smart—if you irrigate and fertilize, you harvest more.
  
  
• 3.
  The importance of timing—if you don’t plant at the right time, an early frost can destroy the harvest.
  
  
• 4.
  To do what is needed or ought to be done regardless of what is enjoyable, preferable, or convenient—you milk the cow when she needs to be milked, not when you want to.
  
  
• 5.
  To be direct—with livestock and machinery involved, you don’t have time to “beat around the bush†or to worry about being politically correct. (In this respect, as I have served throughout the Church, I have often asked, “Do you want me to speak directly or with sugar?†As a rule the Saints have chosen “direct!†I will be direct today.)
  
  
• 6.
  Finally, as an Idaho farm boy, I learned to stick to the basics.
  

If we had cows, they'd be in real trouble right now.

 

 

Along the same lines, he also said:

 

Joseph Smith

was taught from his youth the ways of the Lord. When asked how he led the Church, he explained that he taught correct principles and the members governed themselves.

Brothers and sisters, our living apostles and prophets are still teaching correct principles. The question is “Are we using these principles to govern ourselves?â€

 

Which also kicks me in the seat of my self-discipline pants.

 

 

(ETA: For those following along, here's a link to this talk: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/the-lords-way?lang=eng. And I want to also say that comments are welcome from anyone, you don't have to be LDS to participate in this discussion. :) )

[Xuzi]

I liked that talk too. Focusing on what needs to be done in the order it needs to be done. I sometimes feel like I should be "doing more", but would it really be better? Generally the quality of what you *are* doing diminishes the more stuff you try to do at once, so it's best to do things just a few at a time, and do them well.

[Xuzi]

We're not a very talkative bunch, now are are we? :lol:

 

Shall we jump right into Elder Holland? ;)

 

"Lord, I Believe"

 

My notes as I listened to it live:

 

*When facing the challenge of faith hold onto the ground you've already won.

*The size of your faith is not an issue, it's your integrity as you follow what you *do* have faith in.

*Be true to the faith you *do* have, however small or weak.

*Be candid with your questions, but don't let them stand in the way of faith.

 

Favorite quotes:

 

Observation number one regarding this account is that when facing the challenge of faith, the father asserts his strength first and only then acknowledges his limitation. His initial declaration is affirmative and without hesitation: “Lord, I believe.†I would say to all who wish for more faith, remember this man! In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. In the growth we all have to experience in mortality, the spiritual equivalent of this boy’s affliction or this parent’s desperation is going to come to all of us. When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes. It was of this very incident, this specific miracle, that Jesus said, “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.â€⁶The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know.

 

and

 

The second observation is a variation of the first. When problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you do not have, leading as it were with your “unbelief.†That is like trying to stuff a turkey through the beak! Let me be clear on this point: I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not! So let us all remember the clear message of this scriptural account: Be as candid about your questions as you need to be; life is full of them on one subject or another. But if you and your family want to be healed, don’t let those questions stand in the way of faith working its miracle.

[Maus]

I'm a little late to conversation; is it still going?

 

I have not learned as much from conference since the one immediately following September 11th. For about the same reasons. My DH has been hit with some pretty severe mental health issues. (Depression and O.C.D., at least. It's not all been sorted out yet.) He has been struggling with determining what emotions/ideas are real and which are not.

 

So my favorite was definitely Elder Holland's talk. I had just told DH two or three weeks ago that it was okay to lean on other people's testimonies for a while, so when Elder Holland ended with "if your faith is a little tested in this or any season, I invite you to lean on mine," I totally burst into tears. My kids wondered what was going on.

 

Other phrases from his talk that were so timely for our family:

 

"But if you and your family want to be healed, don't let those questions stand in the way of faith working it's miracle."

 

"Last observation: when doubt or difficulty come, do not be afraid to ask for help. If we want it as humbly and honestly as this father did, we can get it. The scriptures phrase such earnest desire as being of 'real intent,' pursued 'with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God.' I testify that in response to that kind of importuning, God will send help from both sides of the veil to strengthen our belief." [Emphasis mine.] (I've always had trouble asking for help, but have to had to for DH's sake, and our ward has really, really stepped up for us.)

 

Not as relevant to our current situation, but still a good reminder:

 

"So be kind regarding human frailty - your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we."

[MamaSheep]

I keep thinking I'm going to get in here and post something, but it keeps not happening. Being gone two weekends in a row has turned this into one of "those" weeks.

 

I loved Elder Holland's talk. I love that he, as an apostle, encourage us to ask questions and not to pretend to faith we don't have, while also emphasizing the need to at the same time be true to the faith that we DO have, and to "lead" with faith and not doubt in our questioning. It's an approach that has served me well over the years, but he phrased it very nicely.

[MamaSheep]

I don't know if anyone else is still interested in continuing, but I thought I'd toss this out and see. I just finished listening to Pres. Monson's talk at the end of the general priesthood meeting. I loved that he set out specific things to work toward:

 

"

The challenge is to be more profitable servants in the Lord’s vineyard. This applies to all of us, whatever our age, and not alone to those who are preparing to serve as full-time missionaries, for to each of us comes the mandate to share the gospel of Christ.

May I suggest a formula that will ensure our success: first,

search the scriptures with diligence;

second,

plan your life with purpose

(and, I might add, plan your life regardless of your age); third,

teach the truth with testimony;

and fourth,

serve the Lord with love."

 

 

 

I have to admit that I'm having a little trouble with the "plan your life with purpose" bit lately. I'm feeling a little at loose ends, both at the level of day-to-day planning and in the sense of "big picture" planning. I think it's largely a result of having too many unforseeable things happen too closely together without enough recovery and restrategizing time in between. Do you plan? What kind of strategies help you get your days under your control instead of just swinging wildly at the next "thing" that happens along? (I used to know how to do this...at least most of the time.) What are some of your "big picture" goals, and how did you decide that's what you wanted to do?

[Xuzi]

DH and I right now are trying (very poorly) to get our "big picture" set up for parenting. We've been rather inconsistent with our parenting for too long, with me often being too permissive, and him being "the heavy" when the kids get too out of control and me getting mad at him for doing so. It's nuts. This sounds like a talk we'll need to sit down and read/watch again together.

[MamaSheep]

It does help for both parents to have similar expectations with regards to child behavior, and an agreement in advance as to what will be done about inappropriate behavior. It took dh and I a while to work through that too. For us, part of the problem was that during the roughest period with our son, I was at home with ds all day long, fighting battle after battle after battle with the boy, and trying to figure out weird, undiagnosed mental issues (that everyone around me thought I was imagining), and it got to the point where just to survive I really had to pick my battles and choose a few important things for us to work on together, behaviorally, and just let a boat load of minor stuff slide. So then dh would come home after being out all day and jump in to correct every stinkin' little thing ds did "wrong". And things I just let slide all day were suddenly "bad", and ds was confused, and dh was mad that I let it slide all day, and I was mad that he came home and undermined my parenting and then expected me to fight more battles in a day than any human being logistically could manage, while he went off and sat in a nice quiet office where the worst things he had to cope with were project deadlines and occasional office politics. Getting a diagnosis helped; at least then dh had to admit I really was up against more than he'd thought. And having dh work from home helps too, because he can see that his expectations really were unreasonable under the circumstances. You just can't micromanage another human being at that level all day and have either one of you come out rational or friendly on the other side of it. He got to see that there are times when you have to choose between making the preschooler sit in time-out, and getting the baby to spit out the penny she just popped in her mouth when you had your back turned dealing with the preschooler's poop fingerpainting. And sometimes it's just better for everyone if you let the boy peacefully make that horrific noise for half an hour while Mom works in the kitchen so the family can sit down to a hot dinner at a table that's not sticky instead of having Mom out there trying every threat and consequence she can think of to make the noise stop, and then handing everyone a bowl of cold cereal and a spoon standing up in the middle of the kitchen floor. Or whatever.

 

But yeah, getting on the same page with all that can be a challenge. If you can manage it, though, it's a beautiful thing. Brings a lot of peace to the family. One thing that helped here was for dh and I to sit down together and decide on a parenting strategy to "try" for a week or two and see how it went, and then we would "try" something else for a week or two. The rule was, we both had to do whatever it was we had agreed on consistently, and totally have each other's backs for the trial period, even if it wasn't what came naturally to us, or what one of us thought was a less than ideal solution. And at the end of each trial period we would sit down and talk about the outcome. Did it fix the problem it was intended to fix? How did it affect parent-child relationships? What about sibling relationships? How did it affect the general atmosphere and functioning of our home? And then we'd decide what to try next (which could include doing more of something that had worked well). It was an approach that helped shift things from whether "his" way or "my" way is the "right" way to something more like what is the "best" thing for "us" to do about this problem. And when we disagreed, we could say, well, we tried my way first last time, I think it's your turn, so let's try it your way for a week and see how it goes. Might not work for everyone, but it has saved us a lot of heartache.

 

My "big picture" problems right now actually have more to do with managing ME. I used to have daily and weekly routines which I more or less stuck with and was able to mostly keep up with things. I mostly had a vision of what my life looked like overall, birth to death, in very broad terms, and knew generally what season of my life I was in, and what I sorta needed to do in order to be ready for the next one when it rolled around. But what with all the wonky happenings of the past two or three years coming one after the other without much in the way of recovery time, everything feels all jumbled up and I can't seem to figure out how to get a handle on it all anymore. The house is a disaster, the yard is a mess, my housework routines are roadkill, a number of "zones" I had set up for various regular activities have become outdated or irrelevant and have turned into junk deposit spots. Ds is (happily) increasingly more functional and it's looking like he may be able to be independent earlier in his life than I had anticipated (yay), and part of the medical fallout of everything that's happened around here is that there are definitely not going to be anymore bio-babies at our house. Unless we decide to get back on the adoption roller-coaster (an idea I'm not wild about after the last 3-year exercise in futility that taught us that social workers don't really want to give children to a family that already has a special-needs member, but I'm tired soul-deep right now and may change my mind later) part of what this means is that I'm going to be done with my intense mothering years earlier than I had originally thought (because my youngest will be 11 this summer), and I'm not quite sure what to do with this. There are so many, many things I could do, but I'm honestly not sure right now what I WANT to do. I do know that I DON'T want to unbury us all from the wreckage, but that's going to need to happen. Only, WHEN? It seems like I spend all day putting out fires and there's no time to actually corral the chaos into something that could be managed more efficiently than emergency crisis mode. And since we've been in crisis mode (due to legitimate crises) for the past two years, my kids aren't even at the same ages they were the last time I had routines that worked, and I don't even know what our new routines should look like since we haven't just adjusted gradually as needed over time. It's like a big ball of unraveled yarn with lots of tangly little knots; I know over time it'll get wound back up neatly again if I just keep plugging away at it, but I can't even find an end to start from at this point. Sigh.

[DianeW88]

I don't know if anyone else is still interested in continuing, but I thought I'd toss this out and see. I just finished listening to Pres. Monson's talk at the end of the general priesthood meeting. I loved that he set out specific things to work toward:

 

 

 

 

"

The challenge is to be more profitable servants in the Lord’s vineyard. This applies to all of us, whatever our age, and not alone to those who are preparing to serve as full-time missionaries, for to each of us comes the mandate to share the gospel of Christ.

 

May I suggest a formula that will ensure our success: first,

search the scriptures with diligence;

second,

plan your life with purpose

(and, I might add, plan your life regardless of your age); third,

teach the truth with testimony;

and fourth,

serve the Lord with love."

 

 

 

I have to admit that I'm having a little trouble with the "plan your life with purpose" bit lately. I'm feeling a little at loose ends, both at the level of day-to-day planning and in the sense of "big picture" planning. I think it's largely a result of having too many unforseeable things happen too closely together without enough recovery and restrategizing time in between. Do you plan? What kind of strategies help you get your days under your control instead of just swinging wildly at the next "thing" that happens along? (I used to know how to do this...at least most of the time.) What are some of your "big picture" goals, and how did you decide that's what you wanted to do?

 

Some days it's harder than others, but I really do believe that prayers and scriptures help keep me on the right path. Our goals for our family are pretty simple. Help them to develop a testimony of the gospel, to love and rely on their Savior, Jesus Christ, to find someone they can marry in the temple, and to learn to serve others. We try to make sure that our activities and our home are supportive of that goal. Some days we do better than others. But that's what the Atonement is for. And I rely on it heavily.