Is this a mental health issue or somewhat age appropriate?

[plain jane]

I am getting really concerned about my 11yo dd. She seems to go through life like some sort of zombie- she is awake and present physically, but her mind is elsewhere about 95% of the time. We often have to repeat questions to her 2-3 times, we can be having a conversation with her and she will be off in la-la land. She will do things and then 10 minutes have no recollection of them.

 

Here are some examples:

 

-yesterday she did her math. She got 9 out of 10 problems wrong. All her work was completely out to lunch. It was measuring the square units of triangles and instead of doing half of the rectangles (if a rectangle was 4 units, counting the triangle as 2) she marked all the triangles, regardless of size as being 1/2.

 

-she cleaned out her room on Sunday afternoon and left a bag of garbage in the hall. I went to throw it away (despite having asked her to do so a dozen times since Sunday) and noticed there was a brand new art sketch pad in there. I wasn't mad, simply asked her who threw out the notepad (her and sister share room) and first thing she says, "I don't know, wasn't me." Now it was her sketchpad. It is very hard to believe that somebody broke into our home, went to her room, threw her sketchpad in the garbage and left again. :huh:

 

-this morning she had cereal for breakfast. Her sister had bread. I go in the kitchen an hour later and the milk is still sitting on the table. I ask, who is doing an experiment with the milk to see what happens when you leave it out of the fridge for hours? Split second later, her answer: [insert sister's name]. Huh? Sister didn't even have milk at breakfast.

 

 

It is like this ALL. THE. TIME. She will give responses that make no sense and it is obvious she is spouting off whatever is at the top of her head rather than actually thinking about anything. Or, she will have done something but have zero recollection of it. It's like she does things in a trance like state and later doesn't remember anything.

 

I am at my wits end with this one. I am so sick and tired of hearing, "wasn't me" "not me" "must have been ______" when most of the time it was her.

 

I don't understand what is going on. She can do entire pages of math and get everything wrong. Like somehow it is better to just get numbers on a page, regardless of whether they are correct or not. She will put things away but not remember where she put them. I will ask her to get me ______ and she will look at me dumbfounded like she has no clue where we would keep such a thing (and it's always something like a broom, a mop, an object even her 6yo brother knows where it is).

 

I know tweens can be spacey but she is taking this to a whole new level and I am starting to worry about her mental health. She never takes the time to think about a question, just spouts off whatever is at the top of her head. Or, you have to repeat yourself 2-3 times.

 

I'm especially worried that she never remembers things she has done.

[Jen in NY]

Inattentive ADD comes to mind.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_disorder

[Trilliums]

Well, my boys both seemed to lose parts of their brains for significant period of times when they went through puberty. Then came out the other end fully in tact though.

 

I'd stop asking her if she did these things to help lessen her automatic defensive replies though. Assume they need gentle reminding of the next needed course of action. For a while you might have to act as her supplemental brain. :) If the milk is left out on the counter, just tell the kids that it needs to be put away in order to prevent spoilage, but if they have a science experiment in mind, they should let you know.

 

When is her next check up due? We actually did talk to our ped about some things DS was experiencing around age 13 and it helped both of us process through them. Ped said they were all within normal range, and talked about a few issues to be aware of. Within a year, DS was over them.

[J-rap]

I don't have any answers, but I did have five 11 year-olds once upon a time. :) I think I would consult a professional, just to make sure you're not missing something that could be addressed now. I do have one child in particular who fits your description about 30% of the time. 95% of the time would cause me to be a little more aggressive.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I'd see her doctor to be sure something else isn't going on, but yeah it could just be tween stuff.

 

Are her diet and sleep habits normal?

[Alexigail]

Is she sleeping enough? That would be my first thought.

[unsinkable]

Maybe she's bored out of her skull.

 

Make her take a walk until she pulls her head out of her ear.

[Ottakee]

My first thought was some sort of seizures. Could be just ADD as well. I would check with the doctor though.

[MomatHWTK]

Take a look at the first week's lesssons in that new Coursera course about ADHD- he presents the diagnostic criteria and explains the inattentive type of ADHD. At the end of the lecture there are case studies, "Spacey Steve" would be the one of most interest to you. The onset of puberty probably is playing a role as well. When our newphew was 10, he couldn't remember to put the shower curtain inside the shower stall!

 

I do think a visit to the doctor is in order anytime there are sudden changes though- just to rule out a physical cause.

[peachskittles]

You described me. I have ADD so I know that is my problem. LOL I am here when people are talking to me but oh my, I have way too many things going on in my head to focus. My SO will be talking to me, discussing who knows what and I'm like "Uh huh" or "Yea" and then he really gets my attention back and I realize I didn't hear a word he said. I know he's talking to me, I just tune him out. I forget everything, unless I focus on what I am doing. For example, I set down a key and unless I focus on where I put it, I forget where I put it and sometimes even forget that I touched that particular key. I've always considered meds but I've adjusted over the past 30 years. I'm functional just really spacey at times.

[unsinkable]

Update?

[Excelsior! Academy]

Well, I was going to say normal until reading the responses. Preteens' brains check out for a while. The lying might just be a defense. As in, "If I say I did x then I will get consequences, if I deny then I won't."