Homeschooling when they don't want to.......

[Canadianmumof5]

Hi all :seeya:

 

Looking for some advice from all of you. A quick update: after 2.5 years of homeschooling, we sent the 3 older kids to school at the end of Feb :( I was really struggling after our little one was born last October & I just didn't have the physical or mental stamina to push through. They have been there over a month now and they are all doing really well. Academically they are at or above where they should be and each of their teachers is completely shocked at how well they are doing socially :001_rolleyes: Imagine that.

 

I've had my break and am feeling MUCH BETTER and I want them home again.

 

Our plan is to bring them back in the fall. But all of them have already said they don't want to homeschool again. I don't really blame them. We didn't do a whole lot of the fun stuff (swimming lessons, field trips, homeschool groups, etc) last fall or through the winter with the new baby & I was struggling so it was not fun for them at all.

 

When we talk to them about WHY they like school so much and why they aren't interested in coming back home - all 3 say that the work is way easier at school & they get to see their friends. OK. DS6 is in grade 1 at school but was working on grade 2/3 stuff at home so of course it is much easier. Same for DS11 - he is easily 1-2 grades ahead of the grade he is in at school.

 

My grade 1 & grade 4 kiddos won't have a say at all in this decision; and will probably be fine with coming home again. I think they miss being at home but are enjoying the social aspects. DS11 though is very vocal about NOT wanting to come home. DH is worried that if we insist, that he will be completely unmotivated and that will cause bigger issues for everyone.

 

Besides just putting our foot down and saying "too bad, you are staying home" - any other ideas that I can use to get DS11 to change his mind? Have you homeschooled your pre-teen when they didn't want to? How did it go? Any regrets?

 

I know it is the best thing for him. I just want him to see it too.

 

I am even considering using bribery.......hmmmm, you know how you've always wanted a pet? Well since you will be home to take responsibility for it - how about we go look at a dog? :eek:

 

Help!

[MrsH]

I LOVE the dog idea, very convincing! :)

 

I'm in a similar boat with dd10. She really wants to try doing 6th grade at our public school (she has been home for 2 years). Try as I mgiht to be ok with it, I'm just not.

 

I'm working with her on finding a middle ground. Rather than "homeschool as we've done it vs. public school" I want to change how we've homeschooled. I've been able to point to a few concrete changes that will help her have more of what she wants (I think). We're also in the process of making pros/cons lists for staying home and for going to school. I think it's helping both of us to reality check.

 

Is there a way you can redesign homeschool and then try it out in the summer? Or a way to offer a clear benefit (ie: less school time, or more time for a specific hobby, or more time to do something with friends?). Honestly, the dog might be a good plan... I'm going to mull that one over :) I hope some others weigh in who have experienced this and moved through it!

[Manamana]

Our dd11 was looking forward to going to school next year. Then we had the talk on Sunday about our reservations with the public middle school (after doing our research on the school) and our inability to afford private school next year. My husband asked her what would make homeschooling a more appealing option for 6th grade. She replied that she would love an IPad for school and Would like to move their (she shares with dd8) bedroom to the larger space in the basement. We can provide these things for her (the IPad will have restrictions but it will be hers).

 

One thing that was interesting was that she wants to get up and go somewhere in the morning - she's bored with getting up and staying home. I'm not sure what we can do about that but we will be joining a friday co-op next year and I have some other ideas (going with my husband to work one morning).

 

Overall, it was a good conversation and helped her to see we're on the same team and we want to support her in her desire to go to school. She understands why we're reluctant to send her to school. Now our goal will be to save for private school tuition for 7th grade.

[Pen]

Hmmm. On the dog, we (mainly DS 11) just got a new pup a couple of weeks ago. It needs a lot of care that could not be given if going to school away from home. But it needs a lot of care such that only limited homeschool is getting done--I expected that to happen, no surprise, had an older, calmer dog been chosen that might have been different, however.

 

We have learned a lot about dogs. Dog ethology. Dog genetics. Dog training. Dog nutrition. Dog development. Dog teething. Dog chewing. Dog/human anthropology theories. Dog economics. Today we (DS11) learned that following dog through berry brambles causes lots of scratches and other ouches. Did I mention dog teething and chewing? Anyway, as a dog lover, I think dogs are wondrous creatures...but it may or may not work a homeschool miracle. I would get a dog if you want a dog. It is a big commitment. They are a lot of work, and home or not, an 11 year old may not be ready to do it all.

 

Another "bribe" could be special trips that would not be able to be taken if in regular school, something that might not need regular care and feeding if that is not what you are ready for.

 

I do not see such things as true bribes though since they are the reality of the differences of what can be done when at home versus not at home. At school there are friends and easier work load (maybe home work load should be made easier?), at home there can be other special things and probably more learning.

[Pen]

And maybe you need to discuss how homeschool could be made better and how there can be more social time since that seems to be what is wanted? Maybe you were pushing too much too fast?

[Jayne J]

Is there the option to homeschool most things and have them go to the public school for sports or activities or specific classes? Some schools will allow students to attend just parts of the day--they would get to see friends, get out of the house for part of the day, and still have the benefits of homeschooling.

[kandty]

Be careful with the bribes. BTDT and has back fired for us. It really would depend on the temperament of your kid if a bribe will work. With my kids it will only work a month or two and then they forget and start asking for what the bribe was suppose to replace. Then we are back at square one with the issue! One of our issues has been ds being very vocal about wanting to go back to public school. Mine too want to be around friends all day and that is something we can't do with homeschooling. He gets plenty of social time with his friends, so lack of time isn't the issue. Good luck!