Choosing homeschooling due to severe depression?

[LenasMommy07]

Thank you for all of your kind advice.. I really appreciate it! :) I feel kindof stupid that I asked this here. I'm sorry.. I honestly just wanted to find someone who had brought a child home for homeschooling for depression and it helped. But like many of you said, bringing her home won't magically cure the depression. So, I don't know what I'm going to do for now. You all have given me a lot to think about. Thank you! :)

[dbmamaz]

how many people on this board homeschool? hundreds? would we do it if our children were suffering due to lack of friends? Socialization is really not an issue for the vast majority of homeschoolers. If there is even a small chance that homeschooling will help your child get over her depression, there is no reason not to try it. i have a child who was suicidal at 9 . . . we did find meds to help, but school always made him really stressed out. everyone could see how much better off he was emotionally just a few months in to homeschooling. if nothing else, maybe you can give her a break and get her stable and send her back to school when she's capable of handling it.

[Ravin]

The first thing I would do probably is discuss it with my DD's counselor. I've been stressing over DD's math stuff lately, and whether to hold her back a year. At the same time, our difficulties in math peaked during a period when her anxiety is getting out of control, and she needs her meds adjusted (appointment for that is tomorrow). Major changes could make things worse, not better, if you have a kid who doesn't handle changes in routine well.

 

As for the bullying thing, I'd be on top of that and insisting on updates from the school of what is going on, as well as asking your DD what she thinks of the situation. Does she percieve the school as helping/protecting her, or is it still ongoing from her point of view?

 

The other thing I've been trying to come to terms with lately is that we can't always fix the problems. We can manage them as best we can, but that won't make them go away. Your DD's depression didn't go away over spring break, bringing her home wouldn't make it go away, either.

 

That being said, the thing to do is step back and decide if the present situation is what's best for her, in both the short and longer term. Can you give her the same level of routine and support (or better) as she gets at school, including replacement for any therapies she gets there (or could she continue with the therapies uninterrupted when brought home)? If you have her home all the time, do you have access to some kind of respite care/help so you can get a break? That's an important piece of the picture, for her and the rest of your family as well as for her.

[Trilliums]

Hi!

I withdrew my son from 1st grade over 9 years ago. He was dxed Nonverbal LD at that time. He is a 2e type and has several asperger's characteristics.

 

School was not a good environment for him. He had issues with anxiety, refusal to go, crying and general meltdowns. After withdrawing him from school, he slowly improved and while he has had to deal with some mild anxiety, he is now an overall content person. Over the years we have ended up with a pretty eclectic homeschooling structure.

 

This year he enrolled in our public high school full time. He is doing great! He is in advanced classes and will take classes at our local Univ next year. He is still a quirky guy but I have zero regrets about homeschooling. I believe it change his life trajectory, for the better.

[mamakven]

we have homeschooled for 13 yrs... last year when the world was crashing down, basically, REALLY struggling with our autistic, then 2yo, we decided to put the older kids in school. Annabeth,, age 8 at the time was horribly affected by being in school. She has SPD, APD, and is generally a sweet, sensitive girl and could NOT take the stress of school, after her massive battery of testing to try to figure out what her learning challenges were, her psych profile came up as clinical for depression and anxiety. She had changed SO much since we put her in school. In march i took her out. Within 1 WEEK, i kid you not, ONE WEEK! she was back to her normal self. I say TRY IT!!!! :)

[Lecka]

I would try it. It doesn't have to be long-term. If it works you will know. If it is a matter of doing medication trials, I would be on the side of keeping her home during that process.

 

If she is having such a bad time that seems like it would cancel out the benefits. It doesn't have to mean the school is bad or there is nothing positive about it.

 

Her behavior is showing something is wrong, she has to have her individual needs considered.

[MomatHWTK]

That's a tough one to answer. Depression that is chemical/brain structure induced can be impacted by environment, but the environment isn't the primary cause. KWIM? So a child who is happy in school may be happy outside school and a child who is depressed may remain depressed even if taken out of the school environment.

 

If you feel that school is exacerbating the situation, then during this time when you are seeking to reach a baseline, I'd probably take school out of the mix. Are you working with a therapist? What does he/she think?

 

Oh- reading your signature line- way more than depression there, huh? Maybe take the rest of the year and summer to work on a getting the medications, etc. worked out and then revisit next fall. :grouphug:

 

Our child with many of the same dx is homeschooled, but always has been so I can't say what impact public school would have had positive or negative. :confused1:

[Dandelion]

I don't have any BTDT advice as I've never dealt with depression in my DC. But I will say that homeschooling has been the best thing for my DS (dx Asperger's). Since you mentioned that there was still bullying going on at school, I would imagine that a break from that would be helpful for your DD. Personally, I would bring her home and focus on helping her return to her happy, active self. She's only 6 years old - I honestly can't see any downside to giving homeschooling a try in your situation. :grouphug:

[Alessandra]

I really hope this is the place to post this.. But I am really needing some advice.. Or atleast the opportunity to just vent. We are currently afterschoolers. My daughter is 6 years old and is in Kindergarten. She is diagnosed with PDD-NOS and several developmental delays. She is gifted, however. She has always had depression and anxiety, but this year has been so tough for her. She'll go weeks being happy and loving school. But then she'll get depressed and beg not to go. Her teacher is amazing, so I don't think there is a problem there. I know she does have a bully issue going on. But the school claims to be taking care of it. The past few weeks my daughter has hit rock bottom. She is severely depressed, wants to sleep all the time and her affect is just flat 90% of the time. When she gets home from school it takes hours to pull her out of it. But it starts all over again the next day. Being home for spring break didn't seem to improve it either.

 

She has been on medication for depression, but finding the right one has been a challenge. We just started a new one this friday.. But the thing is that it is killing me seeing her like this. My daughter used to be so overly active, smiley, and giggling at everything.. I haven't seen that little girl in months.

 

Have any of you pulled your child out of public school for severe depression? The only concern I have doing that is isolating her socially.. She does have *some* friends and there are times where she's happy to be at school. But it seems those days are far and few between lately...

 

I don't know what to do.....

 

I know you may not have advice.. But I needed to get this out there.. If you do have any suggestions, I greatly appreciate it.

 

Thank you!

 

Your situation is fairly complex. I don't think you need to make an either/or ps/hs decision right now. The bolded jumped out at me. Anxiety & PDD is not an uncommon mix; new medication can be adjusted; bullying can be addressed; several developmental delays -- an argument for staying in school perhaps.

 

Some ideas: ask for an IEP meeting, mainly to formalize things, have a record. But try to work out some issues now, before the meeting.

 

You can request that your dd's psychiatrist (I presume you have one, since dd is on medication) visit the school for an observation. Make sure the psychiatrist sees your dd in situations where you have concerns -- classroom, lunch/free time -- preferably both. The school would probably not be able to pay for this, unless your dr happened to be on retainer/contract there. Dr. would send you a report that you forward to school.

 

Instead, or in addition, you can ask for school psychiatrist (doctor with whom school has a contract) to observe. School pays, gets report and gives to you. I would not think a school psychologist would be adequate, because of medication issues.

 

Both doctors could be asked to use screening tools -- simple questionnaires given to teachers/parents. This helps then get a fuller picture.

 

I would follow up on the bullying. Things can get put on the back burner, even when people are well-meaning. Make sure you know your state's HIB laws. Follow up conversations in writing. [As we discussed, ______. I understand you will ________. Thx.)

 

Whatever you decide, you will have more info to help.

 

Not to state the obvious, but WTM probably has more people who withdrew dc & are happy. The ones who kept dc in school and are happy may be here in smaller numbers.....

 

Oops, almost forgot:

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: