plain jane Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I will preface this post by saying I'm a total stomach virus germaphobe. There's no sugar coating that for me. I don't deal well with stomach flu. Phew. Now that I got that out of my system. Dd had gym class yesterday with a set of twins who have invited her to their birthday party (at their house) on Sunday. I noticed one of the twins was not there, which is very rare, and his sister (b-g twins) said he was home sick. Now I don't know the mom very well but we talk from time to time. I do know she is very lax about having her kids out and about when they are sick and a simple cold would not have sufficed to keep her son home. I'm also 95% sure it's not allergies or headaches, based on conversations we have had in the past. I also know this lady doesn't think twice about having kids over when her kids are ill. Once, she invited my dd over to come play after school was done the next day. I said sure and we made plans. 5 minutes later we are still talking and somehow it comes up that her dd (older than twins) is at home throwing up from some nasty virus and how she hopes she'll stop that day. :huh: I was instantly rather... uncomfortable.... sending my dd over to play. Maybe this is normal and I'm weird?? :confused1: I would never invite other kids over if I had a puking child at home. I really don't like to share germs like that and I really don't like to have them shared with us! I know I have a lot of anxiety WRT to stomach viruses so I'm probably not being rational. I have no clue what her son is sick with but strongly suspect it's not just a cold. I also know nobody else is or has been sick (saw them all earlier this week) so whatever it is is likely going to run through their house rather than be at the tail end of things. But I know there are other illnesses rather than puke. I don't really want to send dd to their house on Sunday, knowing that this lady has invited us over before when her kids are sick. We spent 3 weeks over Christmas and New Years with a horrid stomach virus and I was hoping to not ruin Easter as well. But other than my irrational side (which I know is there) I have no reason to believe with certainty that her son has a stomach virus. Would you guys send your child? Please be kind to me. Puke is my phobia. I know others here have phobias- bridge, heights, etc. This is mine and it's just as real. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I'm not really a germaphobe, but I wouldn't intentionally send my kid someplace where they were likely to pick up a stomach virus. So, you may be overreacting a little, but with your experience with this family, I probably wouldn't risk it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 i would just call and ask her directly. tell her your family tends to catch things easily & you want to make sure no one has been sick there within the last 48 hours. i would say it kindly of course. but i wouldn't hesitate calling. i'm also a germaphobe, so i get it :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I would find out if it is a stomach bug first and then decide. I'm somewhat lax about illness but not stomach bugs. I would steer clear for a week if I knew someone had been ill with a stomach virus. Probably not rational either but that is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 We just got over the evil stomach virus and I canceled our weekend plans just in case. I would feel terrible if I got another family sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Why don't you just ask? Maybe it's a migraine or some other non-contagious ailment. Maybe she was on the receiving end of getting someone else's virus and now sees the wisdom in keeping sick kids home, and she's hoping that the illness will pass by Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I would find out if it is a stomach bug first and then decide. I'm somewhat lax about illness but not stomach bugs. I would steer clear for a week if I knew someone had been ill with a stomach virus. Probably not rational either but that is ok. I agree, but I'd stay away for two weeks, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 I'm really shy. :o I don't even know how to approach a conversation like that without coming off as really weird. I usually just assume if people are having us over that they have not been sick in the days prior. I do prefer a few weeks after a stomach virus ;) In fact, I've read in a few places that stomach virus germs can live on surfaces for 1-2 weeks so this isn't totally irrational. LOL My dd really likes this girl and they are getting close. I don't want to send out "I'm a really weird mom" vibes. I mean, I know I am. :001_huh: I know I have phobia issues with this. I try to keep them to myself (and the entire internet. :001_tt2:) for the most part. I can't imagine my calling out of the blue and asking if anyone is sick and with what, is going to go over well. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 If he's better today and nobody gets it or shows symptoms Sat and Sun, I would not hesitate to go. I would call today and ask her to let me know if everyone was better or not. My kids have been very sick and catch everything. They have a hyperactive gag reflex and puke with almost every virus. I hate when they get sick and can understand your concern. On the other hand, chances are that if everyone's fine after 48hrs, then everything's fine. I would hate to imagine a sad, healthy little boy waiting at home for his party to start and nobody showing up because he was sick 3 days ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I am a germaphobe and so I personally don't think your over reacting. If my boys get sick, they get REALLY sick, resulting in seizures. That's not a risk I am willing to take. I think it's pretty darn inconsiderate that people are willing to risk others getting sick like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 If you are overreacting, I am with you in the Overreactor's Club! I will go to great lengths to avoid the throwing-up illnesses. I agree that you should call her and ask. But keep in mind, virus from those GI bugs can continue to shed for quite some time after the sickie feels well again. If your child goes, be sure to talk about frequent hand washing while she's there, no touching her own face, whatever gentle reminders you might think helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 i would just call and ask her directly. tell her your family tends to catch things easily & you want to make sure no one has been sick there within the last 48 hours. i would say it kindly of course. but i wouldn't hesitate calling. i'm also a germaphobe, so i get it :) Jane, don't you have one with asthma issues? That alone is grounds for calling. Whenever my reactive kids go somewhere for the first time, I always have to call ahead and ask whether there are pets in the home so I can know how much antihistamine to get on board before the visit. It felt awkward the first couple of times I called, but now I am used to it. You can start as simply as, "DD missed your ds at gymnastics, hope he's feeling okay?" I don't worry too much about coming off like a Chatty Cathy, I need that info to protect my child's lungs! After last year - a very bad year for us with tons of antibiotics needed for my then low-immunity child - I just didn't care if folks thought I was odd to ask such things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I'm not picky, but I see nothing wrong with asking if you are trying to avoid bugs. My kids have friends and relatives who have immunity issues, so I always tell if someone is/has been sick, even if it wouldn't be enough to bother me personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I too would call and just say that you noticed X was not in class and you wanted to check on him since he rarely misses, and then depending on what she says you can let her know if your kids will attend the party or not. The stomach bug is the only one that we avoid at all costs. Strep, not fun but ok, colds, no big deal, but anything involving puke no way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Throwing up on Thursday and canceling a get-together arranged on Sunday? I wouldn't give it a second thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 You sound just like me! I'm glad I'm not alone in wanting to avoid sending my kids to germy places. If I think someone has been sick then we cancel our plans to see them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 We got 10 different stomach flus in two years when Jax was a nb to 1.5. After that little run, I don't let my kids go anywhere near anyone who has been throwing up for at least a week. I generally check on fb to see any mention of barfing, then if I have any suspicions, I ask the parent. I hate throwing up. I hate being thrown up on. I hate cleaning throw up off sheets, clothes and carpet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I hate throwing up. I hate being thrown up on. I hate cleaning throw up off sheets, clothes and carpet. No kidding! I'm not a germophobe, but I don't send my kids to play with someone who's in any stage of illness, beyond getting over a cold. When did it become an overreaction to say "no thanks" to playing with sick people?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 It can take a week or longer for a stomach virus to make the rounds through our home. I don't need that kind of mess. I think it is not an over-reaction to cancel a Sunday play date if stomach flu is at their home on a Thursday. As for being shy, you have to step up to advocate for your family. Pretend you're being someone else who is braver than you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 We got 10 different stomach flus in two years when Jax was a nb to 1.5. After that little run, I don't let my kids go anywhere near anyone who has been throwing up for at least a week. I generally check on fb to see any mention of barfing, then if I have any suspicions, I ask the parent. I hate throwing up. I hate being thrown up on. I hate cleaning throw up off sheets, clothes and carpet. This is where Facebook is very useful. People love to talk about their family and the stomach virus. I make sure I avoid anyone who says they have it. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.