DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 For those of you that do Santa and the Easter Bunny with your kids, do you ever come out and tell them the truth? My kids still believe, but I'm getting kind of tired of it. LOL.. I can't decide if I should just tell them (and risk spoiling their fun) or let them keep on believing (in which case other kids will likely eventually spoil their fun, and possibly pick on them for still believing). When does it end? I don't want this to become a thread about the merits or detriments of playing Santa. I'm just looking for advice on when and how to end it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 we've never celebrated the easter bunny. my kids are aware though that some families do & it isn't our job to be informants or spoilers. we do santa and the tooth fairy though. santa only has ever brought one gift. the tooth fairy brings $1. my daughter is 11 and does not believe in any of it anymore. she asked me when she 10 years old & i confirmed. my son is 9 this month & he still believes. well...he still wants to believe i should say. i'm sure this will be his last year. i will wait for him to bring it up though. when he is ready, he will ask. my sister never told her kids anything. there was never a "talk". her kids are all big now & she still talks about santa. they all just figured it out & life went on without a needed discussion i suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I let them work it out for themselves. Calvin was about four; Hobbes about ten or eleven. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 My kids also have a Christmas elf that comes to life at night and plays pranks. I thought DD had started to figure things out last year when she discovered a Made in China tag on the elf's body. She cried and was so upset. We talked, and she decided that she didn't think her little brother should know yet, that it would be too upsetting to him. So, life went on. But this year, she either forgot or she's the world's greatest actress. She played with the elf and carried on as though she knew nothing of her discovery last year. So now I have no idea. She and her brother both built leprechaun traps for St. Patrick's Day. I did NOT play into that. The last thing I need is another imaginary critter running around here. LOL... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 For those of you that do Santa and the Easter Bunny with your kids, do you ever come out and tell them the truth? My kids still believe, but I'm getting kind of tired of it. LOL.. I can't decide if I should just tell them (and risk spoiling their fun) or let them keep on believing (in which case other kids will likely eventually spoil their fun, and possibly pick on them for still believing). When does it end? I don't want this to become a thread about the merits or detriments of playing Santa. I'm just looking for advice on when and how to end it. No, the children all figure it out sooner or later. In my experience sometime during the pre-teen years most kids quietly figure it out but don't say anything. Ds insisted he believed until he was an older teen because he knew his mom was looking for an excuse to stop the extra candy and toys. :001_rolleyes: I never told Mom and Dad when I stopped believing, but sometime during my teen years I started to help hide the chocolate eggs at Easter. My oldest told me, but the next 2 just quietly stopped believing sometime during their pre-teen years. As teens they help with picking out the candy for Easter. I suspect my 10 yo knows but isn't ready to acknowledge the truth yet. When he hits his teen years, he'll join dh or I in picking out the candy for Easter. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well, I thought that when my younger son (age 8) came to me this fall and asked about the whole Santa thing, I decided it was time to come clean. I asked him what he believed, and he told me that he thought it was just his dad and I pretending. So, I called the older one (age 9.5 at the time) down and told them the truth about Santa. Holy heck broke loose. He was devastated. Crushed. He was sobbing and did the whole, "I can't believe you LIED to me!" thing. Not what I had expected at all. Then later on that day when he figured out the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny were probably not real, either, we had another meltdown. Granted- this is my Aspie child, and he does not handle change well. But still, even for him, it was a huge catastrophe. I kind of regret breaking his little heart like that. If I had known, I would have done what my mother did, which was to never admit anything. It always annoyed me that even as a teenager, I still had to pretend to believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 This thread is perfect timing for me. DH told dd9 last night during a discussion about Easter bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa, etc. She was furious. Absolutely furious with us for lying to her all these years. She kept bringing up specific instances..."what about the letter from Santa on the red paper? the videos with Santa knowing our names? the half eaten cookies we left out for him? All lies?? I can't believe you would LIE to me!!!" This was followed by tears and disgust for over an hour. We were so unprepared for her reaction. I felt awful. She concluded that she will no longer accept any holiday related gifts from us, unless it's her birthday. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 We never told our kids about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. Well, I mean, we never gave them treats or presents and told them that their gifts were coming from someone other than us. My parents try to ask them questions around Christmas like "What do you think Santa will bring you this year??" and my kids have told them over and over that there is no Santa. Likewise, my kids knew that my sister was the closest thing to the Tooth Fairy. From the time DS12 lost his first tooth, she'd give them money for their teeth. They don't tell other kids, though. Their cousins (age 12 to 4) all believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. They used to get a kick out of the younger cousins' excitement. Not so much the oldest cousin's belief in it, though. That annoys them for some reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well, I thought that when my younger son (age 8) came to me this fall and asked about the whole Santa thing, I decided it was time to come clean. I asked him what he believed, and he told me that he thought it was just his dad and I pretending. So, I called the older one (age 9.5 at the time) down and told them the truth about Santa. Holy heck broke loose. He was devastated. Crushed. He was sobbing and did the whole, "I can't believe you LIED to me!" thing. Not what I had expected at all. Then later on that day when he figured out the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny were probably not real, either, we had another meltdown. Granted- this is my Aspie child, and he does not handle change well. But still, even for him, it was a huge catastrophe. I kind of regret breaking his little heart like that. If I had known, I would have done what my mother did, which was to never admit anything. It always annoyed me that even as a teenager, I still had to pretend to believe. Our posts were so similar! Totally not expecting that reaction at all. I don't even remember having a reaction when I was little. Mine is a sensitive child too. I guess we waited too long to tell her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 This thread is perfect timing for me. DH told dd9 last night during a discussion about Easter bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa, etc. She was furious. Absolutely furious with us for lying to her all these years. She kept bringing up specific instances..."what about the letter from Santa on the red paper? the videos with Santa knowing our names? the half eaten cookies we left out for him? All lies?? I can't believe you would LIE to me!!!" This was followed by tears and disgust for over an hour. We were so unprepared for her reaction. I felt awful. She concluded that she will no longer accept any holiday related gifts from us, unless it's her birthday. :sad: Don't worry. She'll get over it. Now that my son knows it's me- he's giving me specific requests for gifts and candy. He's found the silver lining in all this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 My DD figured Santa out early (mostly because we always do Angel tree and gift shopping for charities-and she picked up on "Hey, wait-why would we need to BUY toys if Santa brings them?), and a big rabbit just scared her. Having said that, at age 8 she's still stubbornly clinging to the tooth fairy. Mostly because, I think, she figures that if she doesn't pretend to believe, she'll stop having those quarters appear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Dds figured it out on their own here. They were about 9 and 7 at the time. We still leave out Easter baskets and a gift from Santa each year though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Mine either figured it out for themselves or an older sibling let it slip. We put more emphasis on Christ than on Santa or the Easter bunny. My 29yo told me not that long ago that she still believes in Santa though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I told my son from the very beginning but he asked to pretend this year LOL So, it's completely up to the kids how long they want to "believe." Or play at believing. I was 11 or 12 and way too old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 My kids are 6 (will be about 7 next Christmas) and I'm done. I've been pretty open about the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny this year. However, they do not like hearing it and do not seem willing to accept the truth. LOL. Santa is one we have yet to tackle, but I think they are old enough. It gets difficult always trying to remember what not to say in front of the kids (e.g., who really bought that gift that was under the tree). I am probably mean for stopping so early. However, my heart just isn't in it any more. I told my dds that now that they know there is no E.B., they can help choose the candy for their basket. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I think it's better for them to figure it out themselves. When they do, they feel kind of clever. If you tell them, they might feel like they've been duped. They also might be mad because they weren't ready to stop believing just yet. Some kids go through a phase where they know, but they still want to believe. My son (age 11) is one of these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Both girls still believe and I'll let them figure it out themselves. I did almost get busted the other night as the Tooth Fairy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 My stepson is 17, and I have no idea when he stopped believing. He never said anything about it, which is good considering his brother and sister are so much younger than him. I definitely do not want to devastate them with the truth or ruin the holidays for them. But I also don't want them to be ridiculed by other kids as "babies" or whatever because they still believe. I've always been happy to answer questions, but they never ask. Maybe I just make a really good imaginary figure. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 We never told our kids about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. Well, I mean, we never gave them treats or presents and told them that their gifts were coming from someone other than us. This is similar to what we do. The kids get stockings that they know are from us and we do an annual Christmas morning treasure hunt with clues, but we've never told them Santa is real. They get money from the "Tooth Fairy" and they think it's funny in a wink-wink sort of way, but they know it's us. I had the same reaction as a PP's DD above when I found out about Santa as a child and felt like my parents had punked me, and I decided not to go there with my own kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula in MS Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I had the opposite problem. I always told my dd that it was make-believe. There was no Santa or Easter bunny until she was 6-7. We still gave her gifts, but they were from us. When she was around 7 she said, "Can we please just pretend Santa comes?". It was kind of funny. She wanted to leave him cookies and talk about his reindeer. So, there was a period of time we had an Easter bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy even though she knew they were not real. There is no reason your kids have to stop pretending about Santa. They don't have to "believe.". Honestly, when the tooth fairy forgets to get up in the middle of the night and put money under the pillow, it is nice that your child doesn't go nuts. The response is more like, "Mom, you forgot about the tooth.". :). They forgive Mom easier than the tooth fairy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well, it's too late for me not to go there. :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I ended up telling dd when she was 10. It was probably on the top 5 biggest mistakes I've ever made with her. Now she pretends I didn't tell her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 I ended up telling dd when she was 10. It was probably on the top 5 biggest mistakes I've ever made with her. Now she pretends I didn't tell her. Was the mistake telling her or letting her believe in the first place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well, it's too late for me not to go there. :001_rolleyes: My thought would be to do something exaggerated and silly that makes it so obvious it's all pretend that she will come to the realization on her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Was the mistake telling her or letting her believe in the first place? You know, I'm not sure. I think if she had been around other kids (public schooled) a lot she may have figured it out by 10. I know I did. But since she wasn't, maybe starting the whole thing was unkind. Which is why I think the believing and/or the telling was a huge mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I still believe :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Wow, my classmates laughed at me when I was about 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Wow, my classmates laughed at me when I was about 7. This is what worries me. DS is still homeschooled and so is not around other kids too much. But DD is in 6th grade at the local middle school now. I thought for sure something would come out at Christmas time, but it didn't. In fact, one of her good friends has an elf, too! So, obviously she's not alone in still believing.....yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 OP, I'm curious to read all the responses because I'm in the same boat. Mine are 8 and 9 and still believe. I think they both sort of know, but not for sure. DS who can be socially unaware at times will talk about it and other kids will laugh at him (he doesn't realize it). He asked me this year at Christmas if Santa was real and I said, "Santa is something you believe in and it's the sort of thing that once you know you can't unknow. You have to ask yourself if you want to believe or if you want to know. If you want to know, I'll tell you." He told me that was a very hard decision, and then decided he didn't want to know. He'll turn 10 before next Christmas. I don't know if I should just tell him at some point or hope he point-blank asks me this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kidlets4me Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I don't tell my kids they just figure it out for themselves. My older two know but have not told the younger two. I think it's mean to tell kids especially those that still believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I do not generally admit but this year DS would not let it drop about the Easter Bunny. Turns out he wanted a certain lego set and the way to ensure he got it was to make the request directly to the source. Though he believes in Santa but since we have an awesome Santa we visit every year he may believe for a few more years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Yeah my older son doesn't even want to ruin it for his brother. I think he felt like it was ruined for him because he read it in a book. Yes! I avoid certain books or skip parts because of it. We will not read the Little House series until he has Santa pegged because I do not want it ruined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Wow, my classmates laughed at me when I was about 7. :( One thing I am greatful for is the public school families we hang out with. This summer DS and a PS friend (9) had a lively discussion about Santa. It was awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Yes! I avoid certain books or skip parts because of it. We will not read the Little House series until he has Santa pegged because I do not want it ruined. I ran into this last year when both kids were still HS. I was reading Bridge to Terabithia aloud and it talks about Santa and that the little sister still believed while Jess knew the truth. I had to think on the fly and skip various sentences through that chapter as I was reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 OP, i just asked my daughter if she regrets my telling her that the tooth fairy & santa were ever real. she said no way - that believing was so much fun. she only regrets that i "spoiled it" by telling her otherwise. anyway. her words. i may just let my son grow out of it on his own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 OP, i just asked my daughter if she regrets my telling her that the tooth fairy & santa were ever real. she said no way - that believing was so much fun. she only regrets that i "spoiled it" by telling her otherwise. anyway. her words. i may just let my son grow out of it on his own. This is reassuring. I'd hate to think that all the fun they've had believing over the years would be wiped out. Maybe I just need to start thinking of a spin to put on things just in case one or the other of them gets teased about it at some point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 For those of you that do Santa and the Easter Bunny with your kids, do you ever come out and tell them the truth? My kids still believe, but I'm getting kind of tired of it. LOL.. I can't decide if I should just tell them (and risk spoiling their fun) or let them keep on believing (in which case other kids will likely eventually spoil their fun, and possibly pick on them for still believing). When does it end? I don't want this to become a thread about the merits or detriments of playing Santa. I'm just looking for advice on when and how to end it. It ends all to soon. Most kids figure things out on their own and no harm believing or pretending to believe as long as childhood lasts. I let my kids take it whatever extent they want. I don't allow the oldest ruin the fun for the youngest they are good to play along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I figured it out at 10 or 11. My classmates were making fun of me. My parents were actually mad at me. It's not like I was telling my little sister or anything. They were mad at me for being "clever" and growing up too soon. Literally mad. It was just...weird. :sad: And my cousin, who we were close to, had to be told the truth at 13 or 14. Hysterics ensued. I plan to quietly let my kids figure it out in their own time, but nudge them toward the truth at a youngish age. It's so much fun to watch little kids believe in Santa, but it does have to end sooner or later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula in MS Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well, it's too late for me not to go there. :001_rolleyes: The point is that you don't have to believe to pretend. Chances are they have already figured it out and are already pretending. In that case, you can all pretend together. No one needs to give up Santa. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well, My youngest is 7 and we had "the talk" this Christmas. We discussed that Santa is the spirit of Christmas and giving and how that cannot be encompassed in a mere man. We ARE the spirit of love and God and giving and responsible for helping our fellow mankind. So we are all Santa. We now are charged to be the spirit of love and giving. Instead of merely receiving the gift of Christmas, we need to BE the gift of Christ. So this year we did more giving to others, the children were included in the decisions of who and what to do for others. As for Easter, we are slowly making the transition from toys to summer stuff (dresses and jewelry with some little kid stuff still there (sidewalk chalk)). We make Easter story cookies and read the Bible. We eat well. This year will most likely be the last for the egg hunt (unless we invite other little children). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamzanne Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I've never taught my daughter to believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny, but every few months she decides she wants to believe in them for a while and then changes her mind in a day or two. It cracks me up. My parents tried to do the Santa thing. When I was four I got up to use the bathroom and saw them filling my stocking. They tried to make excuses and I remember being surprised they actually thought I believed in Santa Claus. I was a skeptical child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 My kids are in a constant state of working it out. LOL. Right now Santa is " probably real" ....the Easter Bunny is " definitely not real" .....but the Tooth Fairy is absolutely a real person even though "fairys aren't real" lol I take secret pleasure in listening to them trying to work it out between themselves. When they ask my opinion I neither confirm or deny because I want to hear their bizarre logic conversations just a little longer LOL. Oh and there is absolutely no chance I could just tell my oldest and yet let the youngers still believe. My oldest has autistic tendencies....once she knows the truth everyone knows it ...she doesn't understand about why other people would not want to know the truth. It's kind of sad for my 3yo he has to stop believing so young but we've never made a huge deal anyway. Besides ...most of our homeschool group don't teach their children to believe so my kids are bound to find out earlier rather then later. Luckily for me my kids don't actually care if things are real or not. Even if they know Santa is not real they are still super excited about leaving out the cookies and pretending he is. They just love traditions and pretending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-bex Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 My DS9 is on the precipice. We recently saw The Rise of the Guardians, and that renewed his vigor for belief. But he has said that previous classmates said their teeth are held by their mothers and the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist. But that HE doesn't believe that. I think he's riding the edge between still wanting the magic, and going with the logic of it all. He's a very scientific kid, but with a big imagination. Who knows? I shined my mom on until I was like, 12. I did it for HER. Who knows if my kids do that for me? I don't want to ruin it for them, and also don't want to give DS reasons to spoil it for DD6. I'm just leaving it for their lead right now, but know it's coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 The point is that you don't have to believe to pretend. Chances are they have already figured it out and are already pretending. In that case, you can all pretend together. No one needs to give up Santa. :) Exactly. My sisters and I still get stockings when we're home at Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamatohaleybug Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 My DD was so anxious about these "strangers" coming into our home we just finally told her the truth when she was 9. She burst into tears--of relief! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2att Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 My oldest figured it out at 9 or 10, or at least that's when she got tired of pretending. My younger two have always gotten into santa more than she ever did, and have all along known that there are people who don't believe in santa, so someone else telling them was never really an issue. However, with my older son 12 this year, still wholeheartedly believing but asking questions all the same, I thought the time was right to level with him. He tried to brush it off, then went in his room and cried. After a bit of thought, the next day he came to me and told me that he thought I was lying and that he believed that santa was real. He chose to keep believing in spite of having the truth revealed. I have to admit I never saw that one coming . . . glad to read that there are other kids like mine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I just this week explained the Easter Bunny to Wee Girl, after discovering that she had worked out her own elaborate theology involving the Resurrection story, the Trinity, and the Paschal Rabbit. I thought it was best to step in before Father asked her any questions in advance of her First Communion, which might turn out to have surprising answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 I think y'all are convincing me to just let it be and let them figure it out on their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 We're still on Santa and the tooth fairy. Easter Bunny hit the dust a few years back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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