crazyfordlr Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I knew this day would come, but not so soon. We'd always planned on them going back to school in 8th and 6th grade. Next year will be 7th and 5th grade, so nbd right? The educational therapist said my odd could handle it w/a 504. My ydd is way ahead academically but the school could probably handle her. So why am I so sad/upset? No need to reply, just had to write it out kwim. Dh thinks it's just anxiety. Is my odd really capable of the work? Is the school system really going to accommodate both of them? Will the nightly tantrums, fights, and *hours* of homework return? Will their old friends still like them or will the girls be crushed that their friends have moved on? Ugh. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dh thinks it's just anxiety. Is my odd really capable of the work? Is the school system really going to accommodate both of them? Will the nightly tantrums, fights, and *hours* of homework return? Will their old friends still like them or will the girls be crushed that their friends have moved on? Ugh. Thanks. And if it does....you can always come back to homeschooling... Right? No bridges burned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Just because they asked does not mean that you have to say "yes." Just because the educational therapist said your dd handle it academically (I don't know what a "504" is) doesn't mean she could handle everything that's involved with school. That you are upset could mean that in your heart of hearts, you know that sending your dc to school would not be in their best interests, but you're a loving mother and want to make them happy. You're also the adult, and adults usually see the big picture, which for your dc might not be as bright as they think it will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Has the decision been made? Will you and dh let them go just because they asked? Not trying to sway you either way, but I cannot imagine letting my dc make that decision without giving concrete reasons why, and having a family discussion and a parents only discussion to address their reasons and your concerns. Praying that you make the best decision for your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 If you want accomodations in place for your older dd when she walks in the door the first day of school, you probably need to make a referral. If you have all the testing and/or medical documentation already (current documentation) then you may get something going quickly in the fall after school starts, if they agree to go with your documentation alone. What kinds of accommodations does your dd need? Does the educational therapist know if they are common in your district? If you feel you are going to go through with enrolling now, you may want to get the ball rolling on this stuff. It's hard though. I thought my dd would be home longer than she was. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyfordlr Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 Thanks, everyone! Betty, she needs time on her tests, shorter homework assignments, notes given to her, etc. She has auditory processing disorder and as a result low processing speed. If we go back this fall I know I need to get the ball rolling now and I need to get new evals done. The need is twofold for us: 1. I want these accommodations for the first day of school, and 2. the current principal is retiring at the end of the year. Our ET knows our district and knows the current principal. She's confident we'll get what we ask for. I've lived through breaking in a new principal AND trying to get accommodations at the same time - this is how we ended up hsing. I don't want to do it again. Don't even get me started on the fact that this fall they're implementing CCC and don't have a plan yet! Also, all our conversations start "Nothing is permanent. We can all change our minds as necessary." But obviously I'm not listening to myself! Maybe I should ;) I realized today the reason why I'm feeling so yucky about this. I've focused on therapies and remediation at the expense of academics. We've dropped formal spelling, grammar, and writing. It's not like we don't do any of those things ever, we just don't use curricula to address them kwim. Because therapy has been going so well, I thought we'd lay off next year to tackle the "school" stuff to prepare for ps. If they go back in the fall my prep year is gone. The reason why I am reluctant to send ydd back is kinda petty. I'm holding a grudge against the elementary school principal for not helping me with my odd. Stupid, I know. Just seeing her makes my blood boil over the fact we were so dismissed. Even though ydd has tested as gifted and is ahead one year in all subjects, I worry that they won't *really* accommodate her - just give her more work. Although I've kept in touch with a mom whose dd is like ydd and she was pleased with the 5th grade teachers. To the pp who asked if I would send them back solely b/c they asked, no. Our intention was to hs my odd until she was ready to go back or 8th grade - whichever came first. Ydd has just kinda been along for the ride. The fact that they've been talking about going back in general AND the ET thought odd would be ok for 7th grade is what brought this about. If I thought there was no way possible at all, I'd say no. If she goes and it's not working out, I'll pull her again. High school is a bit of a different story for us for lots of different reasons. Suffice it to say that that's a non-negotiable right now. So they will be returning to ps at some point in the next few years. It just never occurred to me that it might be sooner rather than later. I feel like no matter what I decide I'm screwing up my kids. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Sounds like your dd needs more than a 504. I would request the evaluations start and really try for an IEP. That will give her a case manager to support her even if she is in regular ed classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Unless you think it would be a successful thing to do, I wouldn't do it. I also don't happen to think that children are qualified to make these kinds of decisions for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyfordlr Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Betty, I hear you and agree, but she doesn't qualify for an IEP. I've seen her scores and she tests too high but just a few percentile points, but too high nonetheless. It's always been very frustrating. Luanne, while I agree that children are not qualified to make life altering decisions, I also feel she has a right to some input. Just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I know everything. I can't keep her home forever, even if I wanted to. *I* can't be home forever, I need to bring in more income. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Both your girls are August babies. Have you considered holding the oldest back? If you haven't moved I wouldn't do it because she was in school when she was younger, so kids who know what her grade should be would be in school with her and it would be awkward. Unless she was only in K or 1st. Is sixth grade middle school or elementary where you live? It won't make her disabilities go away, but holding her back a year, could give her a little extra maturity to begin learning to work with her own disabilities, while getting on track with regular academics. Since your girls are only 2 years apart now, you will also have weigh how the social aspect works within your family. But many, many summer birthdays are held back. Something to consider anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyfordlr Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Betty, do you have a spy-cam in my house? I've thought many times about holding her back for those reasons but ultimately we've decided not to. I wish I'd listened to my gut when she was entering k, but hindsight is 20/20. She passed her preschool exit assessment just fine and she passed her k entrance assessment just fine. We had no option other than private school, and option out of reach financially. It didn't think we'd survive hsing back then. She went to ps until Feb of 4th grade. Middle school is 6-8th in our district. One thing we have in our favor is that it's a small district and it only has one middle school. The academic demographics should be relatively diverse kwim. She's a rare bird, she's happy to have a dx - a reason for all her issues. She thought she was just dumb/stupid before. She says she knows she's smart in her own way, but her brain just plays tricks on her. She does not hide behind her disabilities and she doesn't use them as an excuse not to do well, or at least try. Her perseverance will serve her well I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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