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Do 11 month olds really throw temper tantrums???


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I'm beginning to think so. My baby boy can scream like none other and he throws himself backwards, hard. This usually happens when somebody tries to take him from me. But he's started doing it if he just doesn't get his own way. This includes being strapped in a car seat, getting something he's not suppose to have taken away from him, simply telling him no, etc. It's exhausting. He screams every time I lay him down for a nap. I'll have fed him, changed him, made him comfy but he still screams. For. A. Long. Time. Like half an hour or more unless I stand there and hold his hand or something. I really don't know what to do. My girls never threw tantrums like this at this age.

 

I will say, this got a lot worse when my husband got deployed. I'm not sure if that's somehow related. When my husband left, the baby was slowly starting to wean himself from nursing and was beginning to prefer being held by my husband. I'm not sure if he's missing his daddy and it's making him grumpy or if he's turning in to a little monster. :confused1:

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Yes they do. Mine threw his head into mine so hard that he injured my jaw. It took 3 months to heal. He also screamed so loud that my ears rang on and off for about a year. At 18 months, I started teaching him sign language, and that reduced the tantrums a great deal. The tantrums almost completely stopped within a couple of months of starting speech therapy at 2yo.

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Yup. My older did, although they were very mild. I'd say, "No, no, dear," as she as about to do something she wasn't supposed to do, and she'd fall down on the floor. Not a screaming fit or anything, but *clearly* a reaction to our telling her "no."

 

We did all the things we had been advised to do, such as ignore the behavior, and it only continued to get worse. Finally, I picked her up one day and swatted her on her well-padded behind, and that was the end of that.

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This describes my first child. Coincidentally (or not) her daddy had also been deployed. (Although she was having some "drama" before he left as well.)

 

I definitely think children are affected by your stress level. How are you handling the deployment?

 

Sign language helped us also. It's just hard to communicate when you're that small. And it's not too soon to start either. I really loved the ideas in Happiest Baby on the Block, but I'm not sure if you'd benefit more from the Happiest Toddler... (It's been a while since I read them.)

 

You cannot go wrong being loving, and consistent, no matter your parenting philosophy. :grouphug:

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My oldest was 10mos when his dad left for some extended training. He started having horrible fits too. I remember he would bang his head into mine when I tried to calm him. I doubt it is coincidental. He's hurt and confused and just needs time and patience. :grouphug:

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I will say, this got a lot worse when my husband got deployed. I'm not sure if that's somehow related. When my husband left, the baby was slowly starting to wean himself from nursing and was beginning to prefer being held by my husband. I'm not sure if he's missing his daddy and it's making him grumpy or if he's turning in to a little monster. :confused1:

 

Yes, kids that age have tantrums, but I also think that your husband's deployment must be affecting him, especially if he was becoming more attached to him before he left. He may be acting out in the only way he knows how to cope with it. I remember how my then-2-year-old was acting out after I brought her newborn sister home. She LOVED the baby and doted on her, but her overall behavior was atrocious for a while - frequent tantrums and whatnot - it was awful and I cried about it every day. She just needed time to adjust to a new way of life and once she did she was back to her normal sweet self.

 

I'm sorry this is a hard time for you. I wish I could give you some advice on how to help your DS deal with his father's absence, but I have no experience with that situation. I hope someone else will chime in on that.

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Yup. My older did, although they were very mild. I'd say, "No, no, dear," as she as about to do something she wasn't supposed to do, and she'd fall down on the floor. Not a screaming fit or anything, but *clearly* a reaction to our telling her "no."

 

We did all the things we had been advised to do, such as ignore the behavior, and it only continued to get worse. Finally, I picked her up one day and swatted her on her well-padded behind, and that was the end of that.

OP, don't hit your baby. They are not capable of understanding physical punishment. All that might do is traumatize him worse. He's going through developmentally normal behavior but he has separation anxiety. Hitting him will only teach him pain, not love and trust. Sign language and lots of cuddles will help the most. Do you wear him in a baby carrier?

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My ds cried a lot too when he was a baby. There was nothing I could do to calm him down except to hold him close and walk around and patiently wait till his crying subsided. Nothing else, not even swatting or leaving him alone to cry it out, made a difference to the intensity or duration of his crying.

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OP, don't hit your baby. They are not capable of understanding physical punishment. All that might do is traumatize him worse. He's going through developmentally normal behavior but he has separation anxiety. Hitting him will only teach him pain, not love and trust. Sign language and lots of cuddles will help the most. Do you wear him in a baby carrier?

 

You can say that I "hit my baby." I say that she was a happy, healthy 11mo in a household that was without trauma, that she clearly was reacting negatively to being gently corrected, and that *a swat* *on her well-padded bottom,* after having done all the warm fuzzy things like cuddling and whatnot, helped her to understand that the behavior she was exhibiting was not acceptable. Yes, she certainly understood "physical punishment." She was certainly NOT "traumatized." Perhaps you experienced abuse in your childhood which has caused you to think this way. I did not. Neither did my children.

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Sounds like a strong-willed child to me. My 10yo was a terror as a toddler. The good news is the older he is, the easier I find him to parent. I'm not sure if this is true of all SWCs, but ds is very justice oriented. Once I got a handle on parenting a justice kid, life got much easier. Ds reacts most strongly to things he perceives as unjust. The older he gets, the more he is able to analyze all sides if an issue and see why a parent is making the decision they are. I guess as a 1yo, it always seems unfair when something gets taken away, lol!

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You can say that I "hit my baby." I say that she was a happy, healthy 11mo in a household that was without trauma, that she clearly was reacting negatively to being gently corrected, and that *a swat* *on her well-padded bottom,* after having done all the warm fuzzy things like cuddling and whatnot, helped her to understand that the behavior she was exhibiting was not acceptable. Yes, she certainly understood "physical punishment." She was certainly NOT "traumatized." Perhaps you experienced abuse in your childhood which has caused you to think this way. I did not. Neither did my children.

 

Actually, I was never once spanked as a child or adolescent. But physical punishment is unnecessary for infants flat out! We can agree to disagree here, because I know where we both stand on the issue. But I will definitely not encourage the OP to swat their infant because they are unable to communicate at age 11 months!

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I'm beginning to think so. My baby boy can scream like none other and he throws himself backwards, hard. This usually happens when somebody tries to take him from me. But he's started doing it if he just doesn't get his own way. This includes being strapped in a car seat, getting something he's not suppose to have taken away from him, simply telling him no, etc. It's exhausting. He screams every time I lay him down for a nap. I'll have fed him, changed him, made him comfy but he still screams. For. A. Long. Time. Like half an hour or more unless I stand there and hold his hand or something. I really don't know what to do. My girls never threw tantrums like this at this age.

 

I will say, this got a lot worse when my husband got deployed. I'm not sure if that's somehow related. When my husband left, the baby was slowly starting to wean himself from nursing and was beginning to prefer being held by my husband. I'm not sure if he's missing his daddy and it's making him grumpy or if he's turning in to a little monster. :confused1:

 

 

Yes, of course they can.

 

I'm sorry your husband is gone and hope he gets back soon.

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Do you wear him in a baby carrier?

 

Can't believe I didn't mention it - wearing my DD in a baby carrier changed our life! It helped with all the crying as an infant, when I had a new baby (as she was still young and wanted to be held), and helped with daddy being gone. Just being close to mommy helps sometime. Try it!!

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How long has your dh been deployed? When my son was about that age, letting him cuddle with one of dad's unwashed shirts worked wonders at getting him to sleep. ;) A jacket or pillow that's not been cleaned might work if there's nothing in the laundry hamper. I had always thought that advice was one of those old wives tales, but it worked like magic first time I tried it.

 

ETA: Yes, children that young do have tantrums. Put me in the camp of thinking it's due to having strong feelings they can't express verbally. My strategy which worked fairly well was to remove the audience, and once calm was restored ask, "Can you tell me what's wrong?" My son's first sentence popped out during a tantrum he threw about taking medicine at about 12 months of age. He got this incredibly surprised look on his face because he said something and I understood! He's been talking nonstop since. :laugh:

Edited by Tullia
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Yes, they can. I believe most (not all) tantrums at young ages are simply due to lack of being able to communicate and lack of comprehension. When you hand off your ds to someone else, he has no idea you will still be there and will take him back in a minute. When you say no or take away something, he has no idea why. I'm sure the deployment does not help. All of a sudden someone he is used to and loves is not around anymore and he has no idea why or if he will be back. That would definitely explain the stranger anxiety and car seat (he can't see you).

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You bet. My DD threw her first tantrum at 6 months old. She was sitting on my lap watching tv and DH walked in front of it to fix something in the back and she let out a scream and threw herself on the couch and started yelling and thrashing. As soon as DH moved she quit and went back to watching.

 

Let me tell you...it was a sign of things to come.

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Youngest use to get so mad he would scream, but before getting out much of a scream he would just stop breathing. He would hold his breath to the point his limbs would stiffen and if lieing flat on his back his back would raise off the ground. His lips would turn blue..

 

All because he was feel down and landed on his bum, or something similarly awful. No one would watch him because it was that scary.

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