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How active is your SO in your schooling?


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I have been feeling over extended lately and just wondering how much help you have from your dh/so. And what do they do to help? I need to ask for help from time to time but I'm also pretty controlling (with school) and I don't know where to start. For right now I have dh helping with grammar/spelling because that is my personal weak area.

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My DH travels A LOT. When he's home he likes to help. He's especially helpful with BFSU if I tell him what we are doing he takes care of all the review!

 

He wants to be involved and I try to include him but in reality he does very little teaching, he's great moral support though!

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Dh provides zero structured or planned assistance, but occasionally facilitates fun educational discussions with the kids (as in, "What do you know about black holes?" and other such discussions that come out of nowhere and have nothing to do with whatever we are working on :D.)

 

Most importantly, he pays the bills and doesn't question my school-related decisions/purchases/needs.

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My hubby is great in that he helps in whatever I have no patience with. Work does not tire him out and he typically plays computer games in the evening. I have asked him to marked my kids work with answer keys if I am just over exhausted. He has given them spelling, done the read alouds, watch and discuss documentaries with them while I cooked. Hubby has a lot of patience and is okay with any guided curriculum.

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I do all the planning, but my DH teaches our son two days a week while I have the other three. His teaching isn't quite the same as what I would do, but it's still effective. I also need him to so I can work. I think it's good for all of us (DH, DS, and me) to have this arrangement.

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My dh wants to be involved, and occasionally asks me if I am doing _______ to which I usually take offense lol. He doesn't mean it but he works in the public schools (SLP) so sometimes he comes home and wonders if we are doing this or that or if our kids are doing this or that. We had a huge issue over writing about this a few months ago, after which we eventually came to a concensus but it took alot of talking and me feeling like I failed somewhere and him eventually deciding that our kids are fine after all. But it did lead to a change in curriculum which cost us another $100 lol. That'll show him right. Oh and there are times he comes home and asks and I get to show him how much better our kids are doing because we homeschool and he loves some of the extras we include that are not in the public schools so occasionally I get to feel good about it all too.

 

However after that whole conversation we came up with a way for him to be involved which is helpful to me and keeps him up on what the kids are learning and I think strengthens their relationship with him. Basically he does narrations with them alot of times. He will ask what books they read that day and what the chapters were about and go through the narration process. He has a way of asking that makes the kids want to tell him all about what they learned and imo being able to tell him what they learned is huge in knowing they retained that knowledge at least long enough to tell dad.

 

As for actually teaching a subject though. Yeah he has no patience with his own kids (plenty for school kids I think he uses it all up there and has very high expectations for our kids sometimes, not terrible but ....) he can facilitate good discussions but I have seen him try and sit down and teach a math concept or whatnot and its almost a joke. Him and the kids end up practically in tears. There have been a couple times I have left town (we have to travel for drs) or been really sick that he has stayed home and has taken over for the whole day or 2. Usually after that my kids are BEGGING me to be their teacher again lol. Sometimes I joke I need to purposefully plan those just to garner a bit more respect from the kids for the way I do it.

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However after that whole conversation we came up with a way for him to be involved which is helpful to me and keeps him up on what the kids are learning and I think strengthens their relationship with him. Basically he does narrations with them alot of times. He will ask what books they read that day and what the chapters were about and go through the narration process. He has a way of asking that makes the kids want to tell him all about what they learned and imo being able to tell him what they learned is huge in knowing they retained that knowledge at least long enough to tell dad.

 

 

 

That is great! It beats the line my kids sometimes get. "Is there a point to this?" :laugh:

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My dh does the nightly reading and also leads most of the science since he loves it. Aside from that, he is mainly my support. He is involved in every curriculum decision as I want us to be on the same page when it comes to what and how the kids are learning. I do the research and we talk about it. I'm a big planner so I have a tentative scope and sequence laid out so that in case something were to ever happen to me, he could easily figure out where we are and what programs we are using. We also each contribute to the list of things we want the kids to learn that is outside of normal subjects like how to cook, change a tire, balance a checkbook, etc. Yea..I'm kind of nutty that way. :D

 

Brenda

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Dh has a math degree, uses it everyday, and is really good at teaching it (he actually was my college Algebra teacher :tongue_smilie:). He helps a lot with math and the dds like the way he teaches and they get it. He also does pretty much all the read alouds. He does them at night and it's fun to listen to him read and explain. They also laugh a lot during his read alouds which I don't remember them doing with me. :sleep: He also does music because, again, he's really good at it and plays several instruments.

 

He doesn't really get involved in helping me choose curricula because his eyes kind of glaze over when I try to talk about it all, but he's liked everything I've picked out. He will say something if he looks through something and really doesn't like, but he's only done that once.

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0%. Well, he doesn't really want to hear me talk about the theory behind different programs wouldn't mind if I put the girls in school. Fortunately, he trusts me enough to let me do my own thing with them, and really, there are big benefits to that. He also doesn't mind spending money on homeschooling and is happy to see the girls learn things. So I guess he is more neutral. But as for help, nothing. That's ok, though. He is crazy busy and has no time for that and it fits my personality type to do it all myself. Today, for example, he left 10 minutes after they got up and wasn't home before they went to bed. When he is with the girls, I'd rather he get to enjoy that time with them.

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At this point he tolerates homeschooling, which is big. He is not anti-homeschooling but grew up in our nice school district and doesn't feel a real need to homeschool. He also does taxes, so this time of year he isn't home much, which is one reason we homeschool ( girls stay up late so they see daddy everyday).

 

He loves us a lot and is a good provider, so that is a great blessing, and enough for me.

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My current SO is supportive of my HSing, he made that clear before he knew I homeschooled.

 

My ex pulled the middle one out of school in September - but hasn't been supportive in finances or anything else. He still wants the youngest in PS - and she needs to come home for academic reasons at this point. He was pro-HSing until the divorce..... but didn't have much involvement in any of it.

 

 

ETA: And I just signed ANOTHER "D" grade paper for the youngest.... :banghead:

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He also does taxes, so this time of year he isn't home much, which is one reason we homeschool ( girls stay up late so they see daddy everyday).

 

 

This part is what my ex didn't "get" before they went into school. He travels these days for work and the kids aren't happy when he cancels their visits. He was off one day when i went out of town and hung out with the two at home while the youngest went to school. She would have liked that day with him too!

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No help except for financial and occasionally listening to me vent.

 

I'm fine with that. When I'm feeling frazzled I take a break.

 

 

Soo important. I would hate to have to justify book purchases to DH, who is not a reader. It's so nice for us that he's just like...whatever you need babe. Whatever you need....

 

 

This and this. My DH is a reader (or was, when he had time), but he still never questions my spending decisions - on anything really, so I'm incredibly lucky in that regard.

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I work 20 hours a week so my dh does some history read alouds, two spelling tests, and a lesson of FLL4 with one kid while I am at work. I do the rest. It works. Before I was working, I did all of the schooling, and that worked well, too. In fact, that worked better.

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My Dh's eyes glaze over when I try discussing curriculum too. He's mostly the provider role and ocassionally the read-a-loud guy (as long as it is books that he likes personally... thus they have heard the Harry Potter series, the Narnia series and a series about dragons by Donita K. Paul at least 2 or 3 times each... but try getting him to read the Swiss Family Robinson, the 3 Musketeers, Heidi or Laura Ingalls Wilder and he just won't do it.) Trying to convince him to read them Peter Pan by J.M. Barry next, by I'd probably have better luck getting him to read them Louis L'Amour or cowboy poetry by Baxter Black.

 

He will occasionally help them with story problems in math if I am busy. The only classes he teaches are "intro to carpentry" and "vegetable gardening" at the moment. Eventually, he will probably work with our boys in auto mechanics and tractor repair. Sometimes he will getthe baby down to nap on the weekend while I work with the boys.

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Dh works hard so I can buy everything I need for school, doesn't question me when I try a new program or ditch something that isn't working. He also fully supports me when I call it a day and take DS to town for lunch or whatever. He also sees the value in natural learning and trusts that I am doing the best I can with DS.

 

He leaves the room, and sometimes even goes outside to do yard stuff or sit on the porch when DS and I are tackling something difficult like math or writing. :smilielol5:

 

He also called me a couple of weeks ago after a rough news day and told me that no matter what he didn't want to put DS in public school if he is happy at home, just knowing I have his support helps me ton.

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My dh teaches our dc the fine art of wit and sarcasm. He is really, really good at it too! :)

 

Aside from that he doesn't do anything formal but they get most of their current event knowledge from him in addition to lots of logic/philosophy, and history discussions. He loves to pose questions like, " How would things have been different if xyz battle/war/event hadn't occurred? Xyz event was horrible, but what advances in thinking, inventions, or financial gains were made by it and by whom?"

 

Like other's dhs here mine provides the funds, the moral support, and "has my back" when it comes to persuasive encouragement. :p

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Over the past four years I have picked out all the curriculum, made choices and taught the kids. My husband trusts me and backs me up with the kids. He tells the kids that their mom is smart and knows what she is talking about. That means a lot, if even he might be a little biased...:)

 

I have had a very challenging time hsing one of our six children. We were getting into a very miserable situation regarding behaviors and two weeks ago my husband volunteered to teach this child in the evenings.

 

He would not consider himself a "natural" teacher, but they are doing fine. Can I just say a big shout out for wonderful SCRIPTED curriculums like AAS, FLL, and WWE.

 

ON occasions, he will also get the kids out of the house so I have time all by myself to plan. I am so grateful when he has done that for me.

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He can sit with the girls while they read aloud to him. That's about it. He doesn't really have the temperament to teach. He gets frustrated and doesn't know what to teach or when to stop. He has tried several times and it's just not his thing. Homeschool is really my job he helps in other ways.

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Dh is laid off (from teaching in public school) right now and in school, and I'm working part-time. He has taken over teaching history to my ds completely. He makes sure the kids are doing their work on the mornings that I have to work and helps them in any way he can. Those things that he's unsure about, they leave until I get home.

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I'm really lucky in this area because I have a ton of support and help from my husband. He talks with the kids a lot and the conversations naturally end up being learning experiences for them. They'll go outside a lot and explore together.

 

And he'll have them sit with him and chat/help as he works on a computer or go through a science book together. Or he'll have them in the kitchen while cooking and there's all kinds of learning going on there: math, science, food safety, not setting the kitchen on fire like Mommy used to.

 

He does the read-aloud at bedtime. I read aloud during the day but if we don't get to it, it isn't a big deal because he will.

 

For science, I'll find something, have him look at it and he'll tell me if I should buy it. And if I make a checklist or share a document with him from Google Drive with some links or ideas, he'll check it out and go from there.

 

He only has time with them first thing in the morning (and trying to get out the door), in the evening and on weekends, plus little vacation time, so we are also lucky that his strengths in helping fit into daily life better than, say, teaching handwriting or Latin. So nothing they do requires sitting at a desk and feeling like it is school time. And it's all enjoyable for them.

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He is the supplier of funds, calmer of my mid-year planning freak out, the player of all manner of educationally valuable games, the re-arranger of the school area, the overseer of technology, the sounding board for my ideas, the fine-tuner of the homeschool budget, and the substitute teacher when needed. He is involved enough to have a grip on what is going on and if we are doing well or struggling and for the kids to know he is invested. He offers a listening ear and occasional insight, but gives me ample room to do my thing.

 

To summarize:

 

My husband rocks!

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Zero percent. Well, as far as actually hands on goes. He, of course, is the one who supplies the dough in order to purchase the homeschooling materials LOL. Otherwise, he's hands off with schooling. Now....I've already warned him that when our children get into upper math, I will be handing them over to him LOL. He's the accountant....I'm the one who hates math. It's only fair LOL.

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He provides the cash for my books. ;)

 

Occasionally, on his day off, dh will do a little school work with the kids, but not much. He feels lost because he's never around to see how I do things.

 

If he had time, and was willing, I think it would be easiest to turn over an entire subject to him for one or more children. Something that doesn't have a steep learning curve for the teacher. But when he just tries to jump into the middle of something I've been teaching, it doesn't work so well.

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In our situation, my husband does most of the actual homeschooling. I do the planning, lesson plan development, record keeping and purchasing. This is for two reasons: 1) I work from early morning to about 1 in the afternoon every weekday, and he works late afternoon to just after midnight. So he's the one that's available throughout the morning for table time. And 2) He's better at it than I am! He's far more faithful/consistent than I ever was. For now, it's a good fit schedule wise and willingness wise (we're both willing to do our parts). He doesn't love his hours, though, and would like to find something with regular daytime hours. That'll wreak a little havoc on our current modus operandi, so not sure how it would play out should he switch jobs. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it! We're finishing up our second year of this system.

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One very helpful thing--about once a month something will wreck my plans to make dinner. He is totally cool with either taking us out or will say, "We can just scrounge for something on our own," and he'll find a hamburger patty in the freezer and make his own dinner and I'll eat a pb and j sandwich and the kids will eat a fishstick or something.

 

And he will do general tidying from time to time, load the dishwasher, and start a load of laundry.

 

He doesn't do any official schooling. But the boys are kinda burnt out by the time 5:30 rolls around anyway, so it probably wouldn't be very effective if he tried.

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This has been a good read. My dh is currently between jobs (he starts his new job next Monday) and we recently moved across country. Between some medical issues I had and the move we are about 4-5 weeks behind where I want to be and just feeling stressed with everything and feeling their is not enough of me to go around. My dh helps with the things I ask of him (usually) I also know he is enjoying some downtime between jobs. He is generally supportive though he would rather see the kids in PS because that is "what normal kids do" mentality.

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My dh is supportive with homeschooling. He wouldn't have it any other way, however, he does at some times make comments to me about what I am teaching. He doesn't always agree with certain aspects but lets me be, for the most part. He has said to me that a certain concept is useless to learn but then the debate is on and I leave no stone unturned in my argument so he has learned to just leave it alone. I am in charge of the homeschooling, although, he has been helping with small projects here and there lately. I have him crafting at times putting curriculum together and laminating card stock papers or other small stuff. We also ask him for help on some of the Science experiments, for some reason he is a know it all when it comes to science concepts. I could use a little more help from him and am trying to slowly introduce him to our world. I would say it is starting to work and soon enough, I will be sitting pretty, while he is pulling his hair out homeschooling. J/K No just hoping to unload a class on him. :laugh:

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My dh is home with dd the two days a week I work. If I need to work extra to fit in patients for whatever reason, he will not work so I can or if he doesn't have a lot of work (his own home repair business) I will work extra on purpose.

 

I do all the curriculum planning and schedule what material dd will do on the days he is home with her. He helps if needed and makes sure she gets everything finished. The biggest help is that he likes to cook so will often make dinner (always on days he's home and sometimes other days, too) and will do laundry/clean house which frees up my time to run kids or help dd with her practices. Also, I haven't had to go grocery shopping for almost a year because he does that, too.

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I do all the curriculum planning and schedule what material dd will do on the days he is home with her. He helps if needed and makes sure she gets everything finished. The biggest help is that he likes to cook so will often make dinner (always on days he's home and sometimes other days, too) and will do laundry/clean house which frees up my time to run kids or help dd with her practices. Also, I haven't had to go grocery shopping for almost a year because he does that, too.

 

Ooh I'm jealous! :D when we first got married dh did a lot of the cooking. I miss those days. I'm not a bad cook, but he actually enjoys cooking and gets creative, where I never do.

 

I've recently discovered that my local grocery store extended its hours to 10pm. So now I can go shopping. By myself. With no kids. Or any other customers. ;)

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DH leaves the schooling up to me. He trusts my judgement on curriculum choices, scheduling, etc, etc. He sees the kids are learning. He provides the money to purchase the curriculum and supplies and doesn't complain about how much I spend. ;)

 

He does not do any of the schooling, as he works a full day, and the kids aren't in "school mode" when he gets home. They work better in the morning.

 

He does take them on field trips!!! He has every other Friday off (works 9/80s), and often he'll take the boys on a trip somewhere - zoo, aquarium, science museum, etc. Last weekend, they went to Legoland, but also went to a science museum while there. ;) When he takes the boys out for a trip, I get to stay home and relax and enjoy some me-time. :D He also takes them to do "manly errands" (Lowes, auto parts store, BBQ for lunch) every Saturday morning so I can have some me-time. (note: If I want to go on a trip too, I can. I just have a trip limit, as I'm a homebody, so I go on a few trips per year, and he takes the kids the rest of the time... the kids LOVE traveling)

 

Yesterday, he installed Kodu on the kids' computer so they can start learning some programming basics (we're both programmers), so he might do a little teaching there as the kids become ready for it.

 

I think when the kids are in logic stage, he'll get more involved in logic discussions. He does a little bit with DS1 now, teaching him to think critically.

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In our situation, my husband does most of the actual homeschooling. I do the planning, lesson plan development, record keeping and purchasing. This is for two reasons: 1) I work from early morning to about 1 in the afternoon every weekday, and he works late afternoon to just after midnight. So he's the one that's available throughout the morning for table time. And 2) He's better at it than I am! He's far more faithful/consistent than I ever was. For now, it's a good fit schedule wise and willingness wise (we're both willing to do our parts). He doesn't love his hours, though, and would like to find something with regular daytime hours. That'll wreak a little havoc on our current modus operandi, so not sure how it would play out should he switch jobs. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it! We're finishing up our second year of this system.

 

 

We are similar. I am the nights/weekends parent, my husband is the weekday parent. He works 5-midnight, but only two days each week (he is enrolled in an online program and we're putting a lot of our eggs in that basket!) I work 8-5 during the week. I do the planning, he does the teaching, I do the cooking, he does the cleaning, he reads the kids stories while I check his college paper for errors - we are always trading off duties!

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I have been feeling over extended lately and just wondering how much help you have from your dh/so. And what do they do to help? I need to ask for help from time to time but I'm also pretty controlling (with school) and I don't know where to start. For right now I have dh helping with grammar/spelling because that is my personal weak area.

 

 

Active wouldn't exactly be the right word, lol. He pays for it. He'll give a child a talking to if they need it. But other than that, yeah it's me.

 

People's vitamin D runs low this time of year and all the things they committed to come due at once. Do what you need to stay sane and keep it in mind for next year so you do things a little differently.

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DH makes the money and gives me support (emotionally). He is also teaching dd piano and drawing. And, occasionally, he'll have a long conversation with the kids about something science or history related. (I'm often answering dd's difficult questions with "let's look that up together and then ask Daddy when he gets home."). He's a middle school history teacher, and so is able to give me a lot of ideas and explain tough concepts easily.

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He is very committed and involved. He knows what the boys are doing and talks to them about it. He is willing to rearrange his life to accommodate school stuff. He reads the younger boy longer books as bedtime reads. He is always enthusiastic about any projects. He is willing to take on lessons if I am sick or have to go out of town.

 

He has taken on the facilitating of pre-algebra and then high school math because it got to be too much for me. So he sits with our son while he takes his AoPS pre-A class and monitors his homework. He is currently taking the Coursera Algebra class so that he could refresh his skills. He did very well in high school and college math, but it has been a long time. I am starting to think he missed his calling as a math teacher.

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Well, as with others he provides the income for schooling and is super supportive. He has the discussions with the kids about history, science, politics, etc. , he can go on and on and on but the kids seem to enjoy it. Last year I had him run a science club- I organized it and he carried out the projects. I hope to start that again next year. He does a lot with practical learning and can always answer any of ds' science/engineering questions with more detail than anyone needs. I'd like him to do more history with us and make it more of a family event as he is way more knowledgeable then I am about such things. We like to watch documentaries as a family. Very rarely when he has off a day he might pitch in with some teaching.

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Even when I was working a great deal, my husband rarely participated in the daily aspects of our studies. His hard work (which sometimes means long hours and travel) affords us all of this [insert airy hand wave at the library, instruments, art, etc.]. When time and schedule permit, though, he loves being included. For example, he accompanies us on nearly all of our theater, symphony, and opera adventures, musuem trips, and special "assignments" (most recently, getting driver permits). He also studies guitar with Miss M-mv(ii); they have a weekly one-hour lesson. And he usually accompanies the Misses for their weekly piano lesson (two hours; sometimes, as around competition season, longer).

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