I'm trying to figure out HOW to fix our homeschool.

[mommymilkies]

I will be a voice of dissent. I disagree that unschooling will help you. Especially with Aspies and kids with sensory issues, unschooling IME does not work very well. You said, OP, that getting back into things is difficult. Unschooling set us back years in attitude, behavior, and ability. It is not for everyone, and the more LD or issues your kids have, IME, the more difficult it makes it. There are several threads on here to check out the subject.

 

I would work on a good healthy routine for *every single day* so they know what to expect. If you school year round, you can ease up on daily work quite a lot. If they know that certain times of the day every day are for work together, then things will go smoother. Even if it's "just" reading on Sunday instead of math, etc. or even fun math stories (check out Living Math), etc. Not that you can't ever take breaks, but you really need to be careful to keep routine for these kids, and it will help you, too. Definitely take a step back in math and LA. Even if it means a new program BACK a level until things get easier. SWB's Homeschooling the Real Child is helpful for ideas here. If math and LA are that much of a problem now, go back a level until they gain ease, speed, and self-confidence, but do not just drop them, by any means. Worry about skills and add content in a more relaxed form until you guys hit your stride.

 

I agree about positive reinforcements. I totally agree with Alfie Kohn in theory, but in practice...does NOT work for many kids! My kids NEEDED a visual reminder of what they need to do. I made little magnets (sticker magnets on laminated const. paper) with everything from "get dressed" to "copywork with mom" on them. When they are ALL off of the fridge, they get a stamp. After 5 stamps, they get to scratch off their card-usually a free movie night at home, stay up a little late, something like that. They love it. For the first time in years, my kids are actually getting things done. We've also done a jar we fill with those cheap glass beads. One for every lesson done with good behavior and without too much dawdling. Once it's up to the line, we go to a movie together or something of the sort. That way they work together and a little peer pressure helps. ;)

[ladyinthegarden]

We are also using a point system, he earns a point for every book or subject, and he earns a point for doing anything helpful or being generously nice to his brother. After so many points he gets a reward. It has completely changed DS10 attitude about everything. He kept track of every single thing for a few weeks now he is more relaxed, and the idea of doing the right thing has stuck. After doing well for a period of time I give him a reward regardless of how many points.

[mama2cntrykids]

Spectrumy kids work really well with positive reinforcement. I have 2 high functioning autistic kids and one with iadd. I have jars full of small candies, trinkets, stickers, and tickets that can be saved for a big prize. The days I forget to use reinforcers are horrible.

 

Would your aspie benefit from some kind of sensory help? A big excercise ball to sit on instead of a chair or one of those nubby sensory pads? Some kind of a fidgit?

 

As an aside, I have a hard time with one of my kids and math fact retention. I have found a few things that help. My kiddo makes posters of different things she needs to remember. I also have a great book Times Tables the Fun Way which is a picture method for learning times tables and a few funny stories to remember them as well. Have you tried any Life of Fred books as a supplement? They are funny and allow for some "real" math learning.

No, unfortuately sensory things are just another distraction to him. I think that I will have to resign myself (for now) to the fact that I will have to stick close by to re-direct him. Life of Fred is a good idea...I actually think he'd enjoy the stories (from what I've seen of them).

 

Thanks for posting!

 

I had no clue you had so much on your plate! No wonder you're frantic! Your LA plus math and ditch the rest plan is FABULOUS. Yes, yes, yes you can unschool content. That's exactly when you go to library books and kits and guides and audiotapes or videos or whatever is lying around. Or you decide it happens AFTER the move.

 

So is your move going to resolve that commute? Sure would be lovely for you.

 

Well I'm glad you're at least seeing through the fog and have a realistic plan. Good job. You're doing it, you'll survive, and you'll look back a tougher chick for it.

Yeah, you know, I wasn't even thinking of all of that as a whole until I started this thread. Then, it slowly started coming together and I had an ah-ha moment.

 

Yes, moving would solve the commute problem. This is the second time in three years that we've been in this situation, but then I was only hsing two kids (1st and 3rd grade then. Plus I had a three year old). This time around, I have a 12 year old (6th), 10 year old (4th), 6 year old (1st), and a toddler. Whew, just typing that made me tired.

 

Thanks for the reassurance . It really is helpful!

 

I humbly suggest doing short spurts of academics. Cross off half of those problems in those books. Go back to TT and reinforce with games. Do you have a sizable white board? How about putting up a few sentences on the board and let them use different colors to correct the mistakes? Put them on teams. I use daily grammar and it is light but gets the basics done and can be fun if done on a board with markers. Go to the library and let them take out 4-5 books on topics they will enjoy or create a book basket your self. Let them narrate to you and give them some light copy work. We all get to where you are I think. Every winter I find myself shopping curriculum because I am bored. This year I vowed to stick with it.

Yeah, I am pretty much changing things up with what our days look like. At least for the rest of the year, then, next fall I will re-evaluate.

 

Ok...we're putting our house on the market in the next two weeks. My dh leaves Mondays by noon, is gone working 2.5 hours away all week, and then comes home Friday mornings, goes to sleep by 9 am and isn't up until early evening (he's sleeping b/c he works overnights). This has been happening for almost a year.

 

I admit, I am totally stressed out with putting the house on the market. I'm purging lots of stuff, trying to maintain the house, and homeschooling (oh and driving kids and cooking and disiplining...). I'm very stressed with thinking about how I need to keep the house picked up b/c, if I let it get out of hand, it will take hours and hours to straighten up when we have a house showing. I don't have hours and hours, I have a TODDLER . Yes, the kids can and DO help (alot), but they don't do the job that "I" would do, you know?

 

**********************************************************************************

 

THIS is the exact reason I unschooled for 8 months. My dh went to work in another state and I was at home with a 10 yo, 9, yo, and 2 yo, with NO family to help and NO close friends. It was up to ME to keep the house clean for buyers and there was no way I could do that and academics at the same time. There would be times when the realtor would call and say that someone was IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD and wanted to stop by.

Yea. I still say if you want to unschool, to give it a shot and see how it works out for you and your kids.

 

Pretty sure we'll be doing a variation of unschooling. I have a hard time letting go, but man, something HAS to give (or I might go nuts).

 

Goodness gracious!!!! No wonder you are struggling. Ok - new advice lol: Do math. Do instruments (as far as I am concerned, that is like math lol but not everybody feels this way). Do science, since it is going to bother you if you don't. THEN do language arts. Honestly, if they skip doing it formally for the rest of the year, it won't matter because they've already made what progress they need to make this year. If you wanted to, you good do something like this: tell them they all have to read for an hour and write or draw about what they read for the next twenty minutes. Don't correct it. If they aren't finished after twenty minutes, they can continue tomorrow or start something new. Just file whatever they've done and make them look at the file once a week. Tell them the object is to show improvement and to have neat looking writing and drawings. Pick books they will like, that aren't too hard to read. Whether they are fiction or non-fiction doesn't matter. What matters is that the material be absorbing so they can manage the whole hour. And very important (just in case you are too frazzled to think of it) - tell them that you are only doing school this way until next fall, when you will begin again with a full schedule.

 

Just in case: Do you know the trick for doing the nine's table? Say you want to do 9 x 6. Hold your two hands out and bend down the sixth finger from the left (your right thumb). What you have left is 5 fingers, a gap, and 4 fingers. Read that as 54. So, this works because if you right out 0 through 9 going down the paper and then start at the top and next to the first numbers write out 9 through 0, you have the nine's tables. 09 18 27 36 45 54 63 72 81 90. He still has to practise them until they are automatic and fast, of course, but it helps at the beginning. Just remember that to KEEP something, he probably needs to review way more frequently than once a day, at least at first. My kids did anyway. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but if you explain how memorizing something works, how you have to get it into your head initially and then review before it goes out of your head again and then at increasingly long intervals, it might help make him willing to review throughout the day. GRIN - you realized that you have to recognize all those multiples in order to do long division, so you must be doing a good job teaching, despite being distracted with moving and all.

 

Ok - so last bit of advice - if you keep drinking water, it helps with the hormone swings. I guess it helps your body to flush out the excess or something like that.

 

You are right. You need your mother. Too bad teleportation isn't invented yet. Showing the house with a toddler OR homeschooling lots of kids OR your husband's long commute would be enough to destabilize everything all by itself. No wonder you are struggling. You are doing great if you can still think clearly enough to want to fix homeschooling.

 

Hugs

Nan

I had no idea that drinking lots of water helps with the hormone issues. Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement. Like I told OhElizabeth, I wasn't seeing the whole picture until I started "talking" stuff through on this thread. Isn't it amazing how that happens?

 

Yes, I've heard of the 9s trick, but I guess I never paid too much attention . It makes a lot of sense (and is neat too)!

 

:grouphug:

You've already gotten a lot of good advice, but I just want to commiserate and say - I know how you feel, and hang in there.

Looks like you're oldest HS'ed child is 10 or 11, right? If so - you have a lot of wiggle room to un-school/fun school and still not be behind in any way. Enjoy this time while they are young with them and take a lot of that pressure off of yourself.

Thanks so much for the hugs. Even though they're on a computer screen, it's good to know that people "get it" :willy_nilly:<----- this is me lol.

 

Naturally, I'm having technical difficulties with my laptop lately so I can't use quotes or paragraph. DH is on me to replace this laptop. I'm using a 6 day schedule so I can do some subjects every other day or every two days, and all the subjects revolve evenly. We are doing 3-4 subjects a day, and school 5 days a week. One subject at the end of the schedule that carries over, subjects that are done every other day end up alternating between two-three times a week. The skill based items like reading, writing, math take priority. The content subjects only have one line in our schedule, and I have one line of things we do once or twice a week. Next year I'm using mostly level based curriculum like MCT for grammar. I plan to start a few subjects earlier than the rest after our break this year, math and writing. This way we will be able to finish those in a year. We have been testing this out for the past few weeks, school is going well, the house is clean, and the DS4 is getting his share of attention. I let the DS10 take play breaks between each subject. We do one or two in the morning, and if we don't finish we do a few more after lunch. The thought occurred to me last night that I should make a journal of all the other things he accomplishes now as a result. He has a lot of free time to do snap circuits and other pet projects. Things that we were not getting to like art has came back into the picture. A lot of curricula is designed to be done every day for so many weeks a year, I refuse to conform to it. I have promised the DS we will blow up and/or burn the Hake's Grammar book when the weather changes. EDIT: You could use any number of days in the schedule I just needed the 6 slots for the books I'm using.

I'm a visual person. I would LOVE to be able to "see" your lesson plans. Is there anyway you could scan and send something to me? It sounds really interesting :).

____________________________________

 

Ok, I'm starting to form a rough plan in my head (with the help of you ladies :hurray: ).

I'm going to sit the kids down and let them know what's up first of all. I mean, they know that we're moving and all, but let them know my rough plan.

 

The rough draft? Keep in mind this is only going to be until summer break, and then we'll re-evaluate, depending on what our lives look like then. So, hmmm...

 

Math for sure, everyday M-F. My ds12 will keep going with CLE 500 lightunit series. My ds10 will do modified CLE 400 lightunit series with Math Rider on the computer as a supplement to cement multiplication facts. Dd6 will continue with McRuffy 1st grade (she's doing awesome with it).

 

I'm trying to talk myself into letting LA go for that period. I mean, there are plenty of curricula out there that condenses stuff, right? So, if I pick it up later (a different curricula, not CLE), it wouldn't be that big of a set back? Right??

 

Science, my kids love, so that won't be that hard to get them to just read the textbook. As they're reading, they ALWAYS tell me what they're learning, they just can't help it :coolgleamA:.

 

History, we're doing MFW, so we'll just do the reading portion that the TM assigns (it's not a lot) and skip the rest. Again, they almost always talk about what they learned.

 

Music...well, no brainer there. Two of my kids take piano (one of these also takes Sax), and my aspie takes violin. They practice daily, so what's better than that :w00t: .

 

Cursive.(my aspie), let go for now. My dd will continue with copywork because at the first grade level, she needs it.

 

My 1st grader will continue reading to me daily, because, well, see above :tongue_smilie:.

 

Languages, they've have apps on the Kindle, so it'll be totally a want to thing.

 

They play chess against each-other on the computer off/on all day. Yeah, not stopping that one :thumbup1:

 

My kids learn so much on their own free time, just by reading. We have a lot of "cool" informative books around the house and I can't believe how much they learn from them.

 

Well, that's my rough plan. Am I missing something huge here?

 

ETA: I already feel so much better with the above plan. Is it still stressful with the whole house selling/dh gone all week thing? YES! But, with cutting back on the "hard-core" academic rigor, it is...freeing :hat: ...

[Critterfixer]

Yeah. You are missing something. Something big.

 

What are you going to do for you?

The second best thing I did to manage my own frustration was to make sure I set aside time to take care of myself. For me that works out to some time spent running on my driveway and yard, just sitting and watching my bees hum around the maple tree in the spring and a chapter of a good book at bedtime. Knowing that I would have even thirty minutes that belonged to me was very helpful.

Obviously it doesn't always happen. Kids get sick. Math runs over and I only have a short run. I get stung. I get busy typing on the forum and don't get to my book. But I find that if I go too long not making sure that I have some space for thought my thoughts turn into something of a junk drawer, I can't find anything and then I do get frustrated.

[Nan in Mass]

Ok, I'm starting to form a rough plan in my head (with the help of you ladies :hurray: ).

I'm going to sit the kids down and let them know what's up first of all. I mean, they know that we're moving and all, but let them know my rough plan.

 

The rough draft? Keep in mind this is only going to be until summer break, and then we'll re-evaluate, depending on what our lives look like then. So, hmmm...

 

Math for sure, everyday M-F. My ds12 will keep going with CLE 500 lightunit series. My ds10 will do modified CLE 400 lightunit series with Math Rider on the computer as a supplement to cement multiplication facts. Dd6 will continue with McRuffy 1st grade (she's doing awesome with it).

 

I'm trying to talk myself into letting LA go for that period. I mean, there are plenty of curricula out there that condenses stuff, right? So, if I pick it up later (a different curricula, not CLE), it wouldn't be that big of a set back? Right??

 

Science, my kids love, so that won't be that hard to get them to just read the textbook. As they're reading, they ALWAYS tell me what they're learning, they just can't help it :coolgleamA:.

 

History, we're doing MFW, so we'll just do the reading portion that the TM assigns (it's not a lot) and skip the rest. Again, they almost always talk about what they learned.

 

Music...well, no brainer there. Two of my kids take piano (one of these also takes Sax), and my aspie takes violin. They practice daily, so what's better than that :w00t: .

 

Cursive.(my aspie), let go for now. My dd will continue with copywork because at the first grade level, she needs it.

 

My 1st grader will continue reading to me daily, because, well, see above :tongue_smilie:.

 

Languages, they've have apps on the Kindle, so it'll be totally a want to thing.

 

They play chess against each-other on the computer off/on all day. Yeah, not stopping that one :thumbup1:

 

My kids learn so much on their own free time, just by reading. We have a lot of "cool" informative books around the house and I can't believe how much they learn from them.

 

Well, that's my rough plan. Am I missing something huge here?

 

ETA: I already feel so much better with the above plan. Is it still stressful with the whole house selling/dh gone all week thing? YES! But, with cutting back on the "hard-core" academic rigor, it is...freeing :hat: ...

 

That is a GREAT plan. Having the older ones read their science textbook and having your little one reading aloud to you and working on writing is enough language arts that they won't go backwards. Every language arts textbook I have ever seen contained the same things but at a different level. I wish I could show you the college composition textbook I have. I think you would find it comforting. It includes everything from how to use a dictionary to the definition of a noun to write a good sentence to how to write a research paper. My experience with language arts curriculums is that they are useless unless the students are given a chance to practise what they've been learning away from the LA program, in other subjects. So you can think of language arts for the year this way - the first part of the year, you did the program, and now for the rest of the year, your children are going to practise by reading their science and telling you about it (narration - perfect!). Reading a science textbook and being able to restate it in their own words is the END goal of a large part of your language arts program. I'm not saying they don't need to keep doing language arts. They do, at least in some fashion, not necessarily a program. Otherwise, they would be stuck at the 10yo science book level. But practising that is something you might choose to have them do for the rest of the year, anyway, even without the move and all the other things. (Exception is your little one, and you're plan with her is perfect.) Chess is good. Reading history is good. Math might be a struggle but there isn't anything you can really do about that. It sounds to me like you are doing a good job there. You even have chess and music and languages! LOL - the reason I am so enthusiastic about your plan is that, chess, instruments, and all, it sounds exactly like what we did at various times before high school. It is that mix of school and unschooling that I was talking about. I tended to teach writing in chunks, intensively, every once in awhile, and the same with art. Obviously, now would NOT be the time for one of those chunks for your family grin. Anyway, we did something very like what you are talking about for a few months every year. It didn't hurt anybody and it had the major advantage of giving the children time to learn their own things. It led to their being able to do independent projects in high school. And they learned enough academic skills to be able to take community college courses in high school. Ok, I guess by now you can tell that I like your plan lol. Telling your children what is up should help, too. Don't forget to explain how the memorizing works, if you haven't already - the reviewing at increasingly longer intervals right BEFORE you have forgotten the material and have to work hard getting it back into your head again. That way, they can play with the idea on their own if they have something they want to memorize.

 

Best of luck to your family during your move.

 

Hugs,

Nan

[TraceyS/FL]

SOunds like a good plan - and do try to plan something for you in there!

 

Easier said than done I know, but try to run away for a couple of hours if you can figure it out. Which reminds me, I was a whole lot nicer when I was going to the gym at night, my foot seems healed so it is time to get back at it!

[mama2cntrykids]

Yeah. You are missing something. Something big.

 

What are you going to do for you?

The second best thing I did to manage my own frustration was to make sure I set aside time to take care of myself. For me that works out to some time spent running on my driveway and yard, just sitting and watching my bees hum around the maple tree in the spring and a chapter of a good book at bedtime. Knowing that I would have even thirty minutes that belonged to me was very helpful.

Obviously it doesn't always happen. Kids get sick. Math runs over and I only have a short run. I get stung. I get busy typing on the forum and don't get to my book. But I find that if I go too long not making sure that I have some space for thought my thoughts turn into something of a junk drawer, I can't find anything and then I do get frustrated.

 

You're absolutely right! I don't get that time. I try to escape on the computer, but it's just not what I really need. Maybe I should be utilizing the teen-ager down the road to come for a few hours/week and sit with the kids so I can go get a coffee, read, and chill. Thanks for the reminder :).

 

That is a GREAT plan. Having the older ones read their science textbook and having your little one reading aloud to you and working on writing is enough language arts that they won't go backwards. Every language arts textbook I have ever seen contained the same things but at a different level. I wish I could show you the college composition textbook I have. I think you would find it comforting. It includes everything from how to use a dictionary to the definition of a noun to write a good sentence to how to write a research paper. My experience with language arts curriculums is that they are useless unless the students are given a chance to practise what they've been learning away from the LA program, in other subjects. So you can think of language arts for the year this way - the first part of the year, you did the program, and now for the rest of the year, your children are going to practise by reading their science and telling you about it (narration - perfect!). Reading a science textbook and being able to restate it in their own words is the END goal of a large part of your language arts program. I'm not saying they don't need to keep doing language arts. They do, at least in some fashion, not necessarily a program. Otherwise, they would be stuck at the 10yo science book level. But practising that is something you might choose to have them do for the rest of the year, anyway, even without the move and all the other things. (Exception is your little one, and you're plan with her is perfect.) Chess is good. Reading history is good. Math might be a struggle but there isn't anything you can really do about that. It sounds to me like you are doing a good job there. You even have chess and music and languages! LOL - the reason I am so enthusiastic about your plan is that, chess, instruments, and all, it sounds exactly like what we did at various times before high school. It is that mix of school and unschooling that I was talking about. I tended to teach writing in chunks, intensively, every once in awhile, and the same with art. Obviously, now would NOT be the time for one of those chunks for your family grin. Anyway, we did something very like what you are talking about for a few months every year. It didn't hurt anybody and it had the major advantage of giving the children time to learn their own things. It led to their being able to do independent projects in high school. And they learned enough academic skills to be able to take community college courses in high school. Ok, I guess by now you can tell that I like your plan lol. Telling your children what is up should help, too. Don't forget to explain how the memorizing works, if you haven't already - the reviewing at increasingly longer intervals right BEFORE you have forgotten the material and have to work hard getting it back into your head again. That way, they can play with the idea on their own if they have something they want to memorize.

 

Best of luck to your family during your move.

 

Hugs,

Nan

 

Nan! I do appreciate your words and enthusiasum (sp?). It's good to get a second opinion on my rough draft up there :grouphug:. Any YES with the LA...I really took time to check out MFW suggestions for middle school/high school LA. Even if my ds12 didn't do anymore grammar until high school, he would be ok, because they start at the ground floor and go up again. It's review, review, review, some new stuff, a little more new stuff, review, etc. But, I fully plan on him having some grammar before high school, no worries there.

 

I love it when my kids are learning something by reading and they can't control their excitement about it and HAVE to share what they're learning with me. It's really cool!

 

Big hugs to you!

 

 

SOunds like a good plan - and do try to plan something for you in there!

 

Easier said than done I know, but try to run away for a couple of hours if you can figure it out. Which reminds me, I was a whole lot nicer when I was going to the gym at night, my foot seems healed so it is time to get back at it!

 

Yes, it is easier said than done, isn't it :crying:? Like I mentioned above, the best I could possibly do is utilize the 16 yr. old hser down the road. Even if for an hour or two once/week. It can be hard to plan anything when a house is being sold though, but YES vitual importance to keep my own sanity :laugh:.

[TraceyS/FL]

Yes, it is easier said than done, isn't it :crying:? Like I mentioned above, the best I could possibly do is utilize the 16 yr. old hser down the road. Even if for an hour or two once/week. It can be hard to plan anything when a house is being sold though, but YES vitual importance to keep my own sanity :laugh:.

If the teen is open to it, would something in the evenings work? The odds of the house being show 7-8pm are low, so you could run away then?!

 

I'd recommend the gym - around here they are quiet and empty at night! I am a member of Anytime Fitness. The regular gym has child care - so maybe you could do that! LOL!! Go jump on the treadmill while someone else entertains the kids. I'd say throw on an audio book but gee, I tried that last time and I cannot listen to a book while running or walking. I was bummed because I bought a couple just for that reason.

 

My oldest is 17 so she is "in charge" when I'm gone - it actually works better if I put the youngest in charge though.... go figure.

 

But carve some regular time out for you somehow.

 

I actually started homeschooling when our house was for sale! I had a 2nd grader and a just turned 4 yo. We didn't know at the time how "special needs" the 4yo was, so it was interesting. But, homeschooling in July kept them from destroying their rooms.... it was great! :lol:

 

Hang in there! :grouphug:

[ladyinthegarden]

http://www.flickr.co.../in/photostream

 

Obviously you would do weak subjects more often. I'm aiming for 40 weeks of official school, but toying with the idea of year round homeschooling. In addition to math and science lessons, he learns these subjects in a relaxed way year round. If you were to homeschool year round you could stretch the schedule further out. We spend more time per subject because it works for us. When I take a break we usually do four day weekends. Attaching breaks to the weekends is like getting free down time. When I take time off we just start where we left off. Our schedule has four lines. I'm trying to plan the subjects to rotate just enough to finish them by the end of the year, some of those can carry over, like grammar. Even though we are doing less daily we are still accomplishing the same amount of work. You could revolve content subjects with a living book too. One week science, the next history, and so on. I think consistency and a sharp focus on skills naturally promotes progress. I had to rethink the way we were doing things because my DH is active duty military and he is being medically retired. He can't drive because of medications. I am doing everything right now; driving, kids, house, school, bills, taxes, and will be adding moving to list soon. If you have an iPad you should check out the Logic of English Phonics app for the toddler, it's $2. ETA: Added the link to screen captured schedule.

[stinab1]

I went through this about a month ago and had to re-evaluate our school. I realized that due to distractions (imagine everyone talking and complaining at the same time while a toddler makes siren noises...) I had shifted into trying to teach each child separately and putting them all in different rooms to keep them focused while trying to entertain a toddler. This was actually making our days very long, stressful, and inconsistent as to who I was teaching and when we were schooling, resulting in a house full of grumpy, cranky people who hated school time. It would take us from 9-12:00 just to complete Math and Language Arts and by the time these subjects were out of the way, I was too tired to think of any other subject. Taking breaks did not help because I found it very difficult to get the children to sit back down and focus on school work. Fortunately, the one good thing we had going for us was that all were mostly content with our curriculum.

 

Realizing that we were inconsistent and that I needed to have everyone in a central location, schooling at the same time, I sat down and wrote out a schedule of how our days would be. Then, I sat the children down and told them how it would be. We would start school at 9am with Math and LA. We would all sit at the kitchen table during these subjects and I would work around the table with each of them as needed. I explained that if they didn't finish their work in the alloted time, they would have to move on to the next subject and finish that work after school. This really motivates them to finish their work diligently. Then, we tackle history, science, or art (We break these subjects up over the week). We finish all school work around 12-12:30pm, just in time for lunch. Then, the kids are free for the rest of the day.

 

Making a plan and discussing the plan and my expectations with my children have really made a difference. The kids no longer complain (much) when I call everyone to the table at 9:00 because they know in advance that this is what is expected. Plus it also holds me accountable to stay consistent. There are still distractions (though I have put aside a basket of special school toys for my toddler and I invested in the Preschool Prep DVD's to play for my toddler during school time. Both are a tremendous help to keeping him busy while we school) and I often still have to remind the kids to keep quiet at the table so everyone can focus on their work, but there has been a huge change in everyone's attitudes and my stress level. Also, staying organized and having all of our school stuff at the table on time is very helpful.

 

I hope you find what works for you!

[1pageatatime]

I have a thought that I think I did not express adequately yesterday. And I may have missed if you already said...and this may not apply to you at all, in any way, so please don't be offended and dismiss if it is totally off target... :D

 

Do you have a schedule? If so, do you stick to it? When I read what you wrote above, I thought about the times I have been there. A few years ago, I lived this pattern... Picture it in a loop...

 

We were all cranky, and I let things slide, to avoid stress.

Instant relaxation. Easy days.

Then I got stressed because I let things slide.

Oh my! These kids need to be doing ____ or, worse, these kids can't do ____?!

So, I got a little demanding and required more.

Guess what? The kids were used to relaxed mom and goofing off.

But I was serious, so I stuck to my guns.

This was stressful, so they resisted. Everyone was cranky.

They worked, because ultimately I am the authority here, but it was a fight.

We moved along and made progress, but painfully, with lots of attitude.

I would think how did things get this way?

We were all cranky, so I let things slide.

Circle back around again...

 

I had some other things going on back then (deployed DH, younger kids, undiagnosed thyroid problem, etc.). Wrote about it a little in a big thread here. It was a real turning point for me, but what I ultimately realized is that my expectations, attitude, and commitment have more impact on our days than anything else.

 

Do formal school. Do unschooling. But whatever you do, do it consistently. I really think lack of consistency is the reason for so many homeschooling challenges. Whether folks are constantly changing schedules, curriculum, or their overall philosophy, too much change leaves kids reeling. The younger they are, the less likely they are to be able to express their confusion and frustration in any other way than resistance. What works best for us is a routine that everyone can count on. Vascillating between relaxed days off and days of demanding seatwork sends kids the message that work is negotiable.

 

Anyway, what finally changed the pattern here was for me to change the pattern here. Yes, the zen showdown was part of that. Their attitudes were my fault. It was my inconsistency that caused their resistance. I had to be kind and calm while they worked past that and adjusted to the new expectation, which was a routine we follow every day. Breaks are scheduled, not the result of impromptu Mommy tantrums of throwing her hands in the air and retreating to the bedroom (LOL, yes, I did that too). We are at peace now, have been for a long time. I will say that when I first got back on track, I did so with frank honesty about my own failings. I also made sure to plan some seriously engaging stuff to ease them into the routine and lure them to a POV of schoolwork being just as engaging as play, even to schoolwork as play.

 

 

 

Also, the best thing I ever did was to move content work to the morning, when I had energy. I keep all the kids together for content. I do one-on-one skill work with each child in the afternoon, when I have less physical energy and find sitting at the school table next to one kid, sipping tea to be preferable. Your older kids are old enough that if they don't get it all during their one-on-one time, you could assign the rest for homework. My kids have gotten extremely efficient, having this one hour of supervised, mom-assisted teaching/seatwork.

 

Again, might not apply at all! :)

 

This is hands down one of the most eye-opening, helpful posts I've read. (((Thank you)) for sharing this! :grouphug:

 

OP-I'm sorry you're having a rough go of it. I have no advice, but wanted you to know I can REALLY relate! :grouphug: I'm sure this thread has helped MANY moms (and dads!).

[Jaybee]

Joining the conversation late. I have six children, four of them out of the house now (1 college grad, 3 college students), and two young ones still at home. My oldest child was my huge challenge in homeschooling. Everyone else has been easy in comparison. He did not have a diagnosed learning disability, and I don't know if he has one or not. But he definitely learns differently, so I tried all kinds of things with him, as typical curriculum did not work for him. He actually would have been an excellent candidate for unschooling except in math and grammar, as he absorbed information from everything and was a prolific reader, especially our World Books, but we hadn't heard of it back then. In the areas that are your more challenging ones, this is what helped us the most, and got the job done (and I have not read all the posts, so ignore if I am repeating):

 

For LA:

Winston Grammar

Editor in Chief

Wordsmith Apprentice (and later, some of Wordsmith)

 

I really didn't have him write a lot other than the WA workbook, but he read a lot and these gave him a good enough background to handle what he needed through middle school. WA allowed him to be creative without overloading him. He was an excellent writer in high school and beyond. I can't remember if we did Advanced Winston Grammar or not. It took a lot of pressure off of me, and was different in the approach than anything else we had tried.

 

For math:

Math-It for early math facts. I just recently pulled this out for 9yods to help him learn his multi. facts, because he wasn't getting them learned. I had forgotten about it. I never used it for the more complicated problems that he explains, but more for getting the basic facts down. Once ds moved on, well, back then there was only the traditional books or Saxon, which was new and exciting to us back then. The first math book he ever completed was Saxon 5/4, which was the first of the series. These may not work for you, as they don't seem to for many people, but they were a lifesaver for us with his learning style. It repeated enough to keep his mind fresh, but only had 25 (or 30, in the later books) problems, with an easy-to-understand explanation for each new steps. I actually prefer the old hardbacks to the newer paperback ones. The paper looks cleaner and less cluttered to me.

 

It was still hard to get him through the school day many days, but those things made it tolerable. Maybe something here will help you.