Sara in AZ Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 The nurse practitioner, whom we have never met before today, used the term to describe my DS8 this afternoon, and it was a little bit traumatizing for me. She didn't say it in front if him, and she didn't say it accusingly. I'm not upset with her, and I'm not in denial that he is overweight. But the term "morbidly" really threw me. Â DS has always been a huge kid, tall and just thick, big boned DH likes to say. He was 8 lb. 2 oz. when he was born at 36 weeks and reached 30 lbs. by a year, purely on breast milk. The kid is just genetically big, and DH is 6 ft., so we're pretty sure he's going to be tall. Â But he's been gaining a lot more than he should in the last couple years. The pediatrician is working with us to just try and keep his weigh level while we wait for his height to catch up. But, when we went in today he'd gained another 10 pounds since last August. It was very discouraging for me because I feel like we've been doing our best to limit screen time, keep him active in sports and outside, eat right, etc. and then the she utters the dreaded word in this context, "He's morbidly obese for his age." Â So, if you've made it this far, what does that mean? In mind it conjures an image of imminent death, riding around on a scooter because your joints can't support your weight. Â I suppose it would help to disclose that DS8 is 48 inches tall (only 5 more to catch up with Mom) and weighed in today, fully clothed ;- ), at 123. Now, I googled the BMI calculator and these stats put him squarely in the " overweight" range with a BMI of 27. Thirty and above is considered obese. Of course, compared to an average 8 year old, I'm guess he'd be considered obese, and maybe that's what she meant. But his BMI says otherwise, unless there is a different algorithm for kids? And I know these charts don't mean that much. It definitely doesn't change the fact that my son is overweight (as are DH and I) and we need to work hard to turn this around. I'm not in denial. I just cried a lot this afternoon because of that term, and I'm looking for a hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 It means a certain BMI for that age. So if the charts say differently, I would be unhappy that she was not using it in a clinical fashion. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Thank you, Jean! It took me several hours to stop having a pity party and go look up the charts. Something similar happened when oldest DD turned three. I don't remember how much she weighed, but the print out I got said at the bottom, "At risk for obesity.". As a new mom that really scared me even though the ped hadn't said a word about her weight. Darn charts!!! She's perfectly average now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 There is a different calculator for kids. :grouphug: Â I'd take it as a medical statement. Or I'd try, at least, after crying. Â http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Morbidly obese to me is when someone have to walk sideways to get through the main door, and gets breathless by just walking around the house. Has your son been referred to a pediatric dietitian? *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Â Â I suppose it would help to disclose that DS8 is 48 inches tall (only 5 more to catch up with Mom) and weighed in today, fully clothed ;- ), at 123. Now, I googled the BMI calculator and these stats put him squarely in the " overweight" range with a BMI of 27. Thirty and above is considered obese. Of course, compared to an average 8 year old, I'm guess he'd be considered obese, and maybe that's what she meant. But his BMI says otherwise, unless there is a different algorithm for kids? And I know these charts don't mean that much. It definitely doesn't change the fact that my son is overweight (as are DH and I) and we need to work hard to turn this around. I'm not in denial. I just cried a lot this afternoon because of that term, and I'm looking for a hug. Â I'm sorry {hugs}. You sound completely overwhelmed. Could you clarify your son's height? Is he 48 inches or 58 inches? 48 inches and 123lbs would be a BMI of over 37. Also, I don't think you are 4 feet 5 inches tall? That would make a difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Here is a child/teen BMI calculator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Â Â I'm sorry {hugs}. You sound completely overwhelmed. Could you clarify your son's height? Is he 48 inches or 58 inches? 48 inches and 123lbs would be a BMI of over 37. Also, I don't think you are 4 feet 5 inches tall? That would make a difference. Â Ah, I think you wrote 48 inches when you meant to say 4 feet 8 inches, or 56 inches? Is that right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Also, bmi is calculated the same way for children and adults, but the results are interpreted differently since adults naturally put on more bulk (fat and muscle) as they age. So a child who hasn't entered puberty with a BMI 14 is completely healthy while an adult would be seriously underweight (think 5 feet tall and 77 pounds). A child with a higher BMI is at greater risk of increasing in BMI and putting himself at greater risk as he passes through puberty into adulthood. Â She should have been gentler with the news. Would you consider switching to a family practitioner? They tend to be a lot less blame the parent in focus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Thanks for all the kind words and helpful information. Yes, I did mean 4 feet 8 inches. ;) I appreciate the link to the kids version. I plugged in his info and he still comes out 27. The description says: Â "Based on the height and weight entered, the BMI is 27.6 , placing the BMI-for-age above the 99th percentile for boys aged 8 years 0 months. This child is obese and is likely to have health-related problems because of weight and should be seen by a healthcare provider for further assessment." Â This information is not surprising and I do understand he faces some health problems. It's just that word, morbidly, that I can't get out of my mind! We saw the nurse practicioner today about some headaches he's been having. I'll make sure we get in with our regular pediatrician in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 "Morbidly obese" makes me think of "morbidity," so I would think of it as obese to the point that it has negative effects on a person's overall health (blood pressure, diabetes, etc.). I don't think that is the true medical definition though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Try not to feel defeated, you have really been trying to make this a focus, and it sounds like you need more help from the docs. Could you ask them for help from a pediatric nutrition & weight specialist doc? Â Keep after that goal for your family! Hugs to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I have always understood it to be a medical term Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Morbidly obese is a medical term. It means more than 100% over ideal weight. Â I would encourage you to go back to the practitioner and ask questions. Pin them down to find out how they calculate his ideal weight, which of course will be a range, not a single number. Find out what definition they are using for morbidly obese and make sure it is the correct one. And as others have pointed out, BMI is calculated differently for children and adults. But also note that the term morbidly obese is based on weight, not BMI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 There isnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t a different calculation for kids but the BMI is interpreted differently. The online calculators use the different interpretation to analyze the data but the formula is the same for everyone. There are BMI graphs (similar to the height-weight graphs) that graph BMI by age that we use for kids. Over 85% is Ă¢â‚¬Å“at riskĂ¢â‚¬ or Ă¢â‚¬Å“overweight", above 95% is obese, above 100% for his age would be Ă¢â‚¬Å“morbidly obeseĂ¢â‚¬. It might be helpful to see the BMI graphs as well as the weight chart. Just like on the weight chart, I worry more about an increase than the actual number. So if a kid is hanging out on the 90% curve but happy and healthy and active IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m not as concerned as if they go from 80% to 95% to above that.  It doesnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t sound like the person was the most gentle or tactful. But morbidly obese to a doctor is a medical term and not a judgment call. ItĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s also not a diagnosis in the sense that it means anything regarding his immediate health or risk.  I donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t know where you live but more and more areas have specialized practices/clinics for weight loss in kids. That might be helpful. I know itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s really difficult and it sounds like you all are doing everything you know how to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Morbidly obese is a medical term. She was stating a fact. Â Medical personnel are starting to tell patients where they are in terms of obesity more. It's important. Perhaps you are aware of your ds's health problems, but the nurse practitioner needs to be sure all patients are aware. So, she was just following through with her job. I would view her actions as nothing more than that. What you do with that information is up to you. It sounds like you have been working on plans to help your ds. I'm sure it feels like a judgement, but just keep moving forward and keep trying new strategies to help your ds. Â It's no secret that obesity has become a problem in this country. In the past many people have said "I didn't know I was overweight" or "I didn't know my dd's weight was a problem". I guess medical personnel didn't typically bring it up because it is an uncomfortable topic. Now, doctors are being told by their continuing ed programs and licensing groups they must regularly counsel patients on weight. Not all doctors are doing this yet, but more and more are. I'm sure this is where the Nurse Practitioner's statements are coming from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I really thought that (morbidly?) obese was technically a BMI over 30, and 25-29.9 was overweight. But I could be wrong. Â To me, morbidly obese is someone who is so overweight their quality of life is really affected. They can't get around normally and do normal things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I didn't read all of the replies but I wonder if she's comparing all of his other visits. I took my ds16 in recently and I completely disagree with their assessment of his weight. She printed out the weight chart from when he was 12 and showed how his weight fluctuated over the past years and I didn't understand why those other times were important. I checked a few online calculators and he's fine. You could call and ask them to define the term as it relates specifically to your son's weight. Ask them what weight range they expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I really thought that (morbidly?) obese was technically a BMI over 30, and 25-29.9 was overweight. But I could be wrong. Â To me, morbidly obese is someone who is so overweight their quality of life is really affected. They can't get around normally and do normal things. Â By medical definition, I am morbidly obese. Â I have 3 jobs, all of which involve lots of standing and walking. Â I can sit comfortably in theater and airline seats. Â Heck, I am the second lowest size @ the plus size store! Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 My 12 yo dd was told she was obese at her last physical because she was in the 99% on weight, but she's also tall. Not only is she tall, she is slender and toned. She studies karate and stays active. Now my sweetie thinks she's fat even though the doctor corrected herself after looking at my girl. Thankfully, our "dieting" is focused on eating nutritious food, rather than losing weight. I'm glad your son didn't hear the comment. Is it possible he's getting close to a growth spurt where his weight will be more proportional to his height? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I'd call the doctor office and ask for some clarification. What did they mean by telling you this? Are there new concerns on their end? Â No one wants to hear "morbidly obese" describe their weight. It sounds like weight has always been an issue for your dc. It could be that the nurse practitioner is a little more... blunt than the pediatrician. Doctors have been taking flak for years over not being honest enough with their patients - pediatrics to geriatrics - about their weight and how it affects their health. This nurse practitioner may have wanted you to have all the facts, no matter how unpleasant it is to hear. And, gently, try not to take it personally and/or let it hurt you or your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Is it possible he has something going on that would have caused a line jump (on the growth charts)? Or is he following his own curve consistently? Â My ds has always been tall for his age (2" shorter than yours), but his weight varies from low to normal. He's currently average/normal, and 1/2 your ds's weight. My ds's father is 6'4", and ds looks like he'll be near that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 By medical definition, I am morbidly obese. Â I have 3 jobs, all of which involve lots of standing and walking. Â I can sit comfortably in theater and airline seats. Â Heck, I am the second lowest size @ the plus size store! I am a size 14, garden, run, hike, lift weights. And am technically listed, per the medical charts, as morbidly obese. I don't think the image of the term equals what it looks like in real life for a segment of the adult population. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 The nurse practitioner, whom we have never met before today, used the term to describe my DS8 this afternoon, and it was a little bit traumatizing for me. She didn't say it in front if him, and she didn't say it accusingly. I'm not upset with her, and I'm not in denial that he is overweight. But the term "morbidly" really threw me. Â DS has always been a huge kid, tall and just thick, big boned DH likes to say. He was 8 lb. 2 oz. when he was born at 36 weeks and reached 30 lbs. by a year, purely on breast milk. The kid is just genetically big, and DH is 6 ft., so we're pretty sure he's going to be tall. Â But he's been gaining a lot more than he should in the last couple years. The pediatrician is working with us to just try and keep his weigh level while we wait for his height to catch up. But, when we went in today he'd gained another 10 pounds since last August. It was very discouraging for me because I feel like we've been doing our best to limit screen time, keep him active in sports and outside, eat right, etc. and then the she utters the dreaded word in this context, "He's morbidly obese for his age." Â So, if you've made it this far, what does that mean? In mind it conjures an image of imminent death, riding around on a scooter because your joints can't support your weight. Â I suppose it would help to disclose that DS8 is 48 inches tall (only 5 more to catch up with Mom) and weighed in today, fully clothed ;- ), at 123. Now, I googled the BMI calculator and these stats put him squarely in the " overweight" range with a BMI of 27. Thirty and above is considered obese. Of course, compared to an average 8 year old, I'm guess he'd be considered obese, and maybe that's what she meant. But his BMI says otherwise, unless there is a different algorithm for kids? And I know these charts don't mean that much. It definitely doesn't change the fact that my son is overweight (as are DH and I) and we need to work hard to turn this around. I'm not in denial. I just cried a lot this afternoon because of that term, and I'm looking for a hug. Â Do you have any nutrition centers in your area that offer a children's program? Many hospitals now offer support groups and nutrition counseling for children. Have you cut back on gluten? A segment of the population react to gluten by gaining weight, instead of the more typical weight loss associated with celiac. What sports is he in? This is a tricky thing, IMO. Sports like soccer and baseball don't burn a consistent amount of calories. My DS used to play basketball and I know he didn't burn enough calories to eat those post-game snacks the moms brought in. I think kids can be genetically larger than their peers, but have you looked at your son's weight in comparision to other boys his age? Example, most 8-year-olds weigh X-amount less than 123 pounds. Was the nurse specifically saying that in relation to the 10 pound weight gain in the past six months? That is a large gain for such a short time and she probably needed to note the increase on his charts and let you know to watch it, as 10 pounds/6 months is not a normal weight gain for a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 The BMI calculator I tried just says your child is overweight--same number. I wonder about the different interpretations. Â A 8 year old (male) child who is 123 pounds and is 4 feet and 8 inches tall has a body mass index of 27.6, which is over the 95th percentile, and would indicate that your child is overweight. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Hating the BMI charts since the 1990s....oh and WRT the terminology with children, they are using percentiles as a guideline. 30% of children, by the definition of a percentile, are overweight/obese. It is fairly meaningless statistic on an individual level... Â My kids make those BMI charts look ridiculous. I'm just glad our NP and Ped use their eyes & heads...oh they plot, but when looking at my son, who, though he gained 10 pounds in one year, and didn't grow but an inch, was very, very, lean (and still is), rolled her eyes and made a note. Then her attention, turned to my younger son (a brick...very dense and VERY heavy), who was in the 90th percentile for weight at that point...looked at him in his skivvies and said, "never mind." My kids have me to thank for their BMI-defying healthy builds. But, I still struggle. I still hate going through the exercise every single year. I try to make it a joke, but it still bothers me. Â Focus on helping your son have a healthy lifestyle, make good nutritional choices, and give him plenty of opportunities to be active. BMI is just a number... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Â Doctors have been taking flak for years over not being honest enough with their patients - pediatrics to geriatrics - about their weight and how it affects their health. This nurse practitioner may have wanted you to have all the facts, no matter how unpleasant it is to hear. And, gently, try not to take it personally and/or let it hurt you or your son. Â Â Agree with this. I consider it a clinical term, not a personal accusation. As others have noted, it is possible to fall into that category and not be the stereostype. Â It is clear you are already taking the issue seriously, but not everyone does (as evidenced by the obesity rates continuing to grow) and to me she was just doing her job. The word "morbidly" is scary, but yes, it means that obesity can cause life-threatening, life-changing illness. You already know this and are dealing with it - awesome! So keep moving on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Oh...and here's a fun fact. Â My 11yo daughter is nearly the same weight and height as my 9 1/2 yo son. (they are about 1/2" apart in height, and my son weighs one pound more). According to the BMI calculator, my daughter is in the 51st percentile, and my son is in the 73rd. Simply because most 9.5yos don't weigh that much (they don't have the muscle my son does) -- it has nothing to do with being "fatter" than his sister who is smack dab in the middle of the pack. (my kids run from the 5th to the 73rd percentiles...all eat the same foods, have pretty much the same activity level, but height/weight/build is very much a genetic thing which varies wildly from individual to individual). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 If you are doing all the things you need to, lots of activity, healthy food choices, then I would be wondering what else is going on. Asher was 9 pounds at birth (and only 19.5 inches), and was 27.5 pounds at one. For the first three years he was in the 99% for weight, and the 90% for height, but after that he slowly fell into the 60% for weight and the 55% for height. I would be concerned that there was something wrong with his thyroid or whatever else can make you obese. I'm sorry, it would be very scary to hear the word "morbidly" associated with your child :(. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Curious, has he seen an endocrinologist? I wonder if there's something beyond diet and activity level going on that perhaps an endocrine work up would catch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 It is a medical term and one that they look at to work on mitigating risk NOW of poor health in adulthood. As some here have pointed out, it is possible for someone in that range to still be healthy and active, and it sounds like you're already working toward that with him. Â One thing I'd probably pursue with a specialist (like the nutritionist) is a body fat calculation ... this might give you an idea of what you're actually working with. My cousin's ds was flagged as mobidly obese at the age of 5, and by the charts, it looks that way -- his BMI is in the 30s. But further testing showed a body fat percentage of just 12%, which is actually on the low-ish side of normal (I think normal is between 8 and 22% for boys) ... the child is just a tank (a big tank -- at 7, he's over 5' and is something like 125 lb) -- his dad is disappointed that he tried, but didn't particularly like football. His sister did test high in body fat (30%) and they had special aerobics classes, cooking classes, etc. for her (that were fun, she really did like them) to help reinforce healthy habits. Â More information might be useful in deciding whether he's completely fine, just built outside of normal parameters, or whether it might be a good idea to get more help to make sure he takes care of any health risks now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 My 17yos is on the opposite end of the spectrum: he comes in at <1% for BMI. When my guys were younger, their pediatrician was the same guy that had been mine when I was a kid. And we were super skinny kids, too. He knew that we all eventually gained weight to match our heights, so he wasn't worried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 maybe just forget the "label" and focus on eating in a healthy way? decide what the goal is, and then work towards it.... the label will take care of itself, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I agree with forgetting the label and focus on being healthy. Those BMI calculators drive me nuts. My dd7 depending on the day is overweight/obese as she fluctuates a lb. That kills me. This kid is rock solid muscle and a competitive gymnast. She is not rail thin, but extremely healthy so I don't take much stock in the calculator itself. Look at total lifestyle. I know I have to watch dd, be sure she is drinking water, making good choices in food...but the kid works out 8 hours a week. Make good choices in food and activity and don't stress about the labels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 As others have said, morbidly obese is just a medical term meaning weight at least 100% over normal healthy weight for height. It's not a criticism or a negative label or a sign that your child is doomed to poor health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianmomtofour Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Just wondering if you've had his thyroid tested? My 7yo is 4'3" and 95lbs. Now, he's always been a big boy even as a baby, and he wears a larger shoe size than my 9yo, but in the last year he's gained 20lbs! I insisted on blood work about six months ago and much to the surprise of our doctor, (who was skeptical and ordered the blood-work simply to placate me), his thyroid is under-active. We are still trying to get it under control and his meds have been upped twice since then, so he has continued to gain. It is incredibly frustrating and I get really tired of the judgmental stares from other moms, and the teasing has begun from other kids. My little 7yo refuses to go swimming with his nana because he's too embarrassed to take off his shirt in front of her. It's heartbreaking! I have no idea what his BMI is anymore, and I refuse to look it up because it will only serve to upset me, but I would not consider my ds to be "morbidly obese", and I would be cringing if someone used that term to describe him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Not exactly weight-related, but if it's the word "morbidly" that's scary, it might not mean what you think. My disabled dd had a condition as a baby that her doctor said had an extremely high "morbidity rate." He saw my face go white and explained that it was not the same thing as a "mortality rate." And now I can't honestly remember the exact definition, but it wasn't death! Â With help from google: morbidity refers to a state of being diseased or unhealthy, mortality refers to the number of people who died within a population. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 I have to dash out the door to PE in a minute, but I wanted to check in and thank all of you for your kind words and helpful ideas. I appreciate every single reply, and someday I will learn how to multiquote! I am feeling better this morning. I'm ready to get over my pity party and start looking for more solutions. I think I will start keeping a food journal for him so that I have a clearer idea of exactly what he is eating. I know he is a carboholic, but I hardly stock anything in the house because I'm a recovering sugar addict myself. Well, hoping to be recovering! Seriously, though. My food cupboards are a babysitter's wasteland. Nothing yummy. And I've stopped serving bread of any type with our meals because I know he'll fill up on that. It's getting him to eat what I do serve that's tricky, and not make himself three toasts when he doesn't like it. Â I have wondered if there is a thyroid issue, but his bloodwork came back fine last fall. I don't necessarily trust that the doc tested all the right numbers, though. Thyroid problems do run in my family, not this young, though. DH is approaching this from the mindset that just as our oldest DD struggles with Type 1 diabetes, this is our son's personal struggle, and we can approach it with confidence instead of fear and help him to find solutions to his problems just as we do for her. Â I have a couple of good friends who were both significantly overweight as children and their childhood memories are full of WW meetings with their mothers and trying every new diet that came around, constantly obsessed with their weight, and losing the battle time and time again. I so don't want that for my son. He's already starting to be sensitive about it. I just want to teach him to have a healthy lifestyle and not stress about the weight so much. It's a struggle, though, especially since I'm obsessed with my own weight and trying so hard to make serious diet changes for me (cutting out all the refined stuff). It's hard enough for me at 35 to have that kind of self control, and I'm goign to ask it of him at 8. You LCHF group members have me in awe, seriously! I want to that kind of will power. Â Anyway, we will keep on keeping on. Thanks for helping me keep this in perspective!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 HUGS! And you are not alone in this battle. Â As for what it means..morbidly obese means, to me, that it has significant impact on your health and/or lifespan. Â Now, before you do anything else, watch this movie...it's not short, so carve out some time to watch it in chunks, but the scientist talking specializes in pediatric weight issues. Â It's about sugar, fructose, and how it changes the metabolism to make us want more and more and more, and keeps us hungry, and messes up the metabolism. This isn't your fault in the way you think it is. Â Personally, I'd look REAL hard at a paleo/primal diet for the whole household. There are primal kids recipes/blogs. Get rid of the sugar and grains and I bet the rest falls into place. And that will be much easier than trying to regulate portion size with a kid. You don't want to have that battle. Just have fruits, veggies, and meat and eggs in the house (use dairy and nuts as a condiment, not a meal or snack..too easy to overeat), and you won't have to be the food police. If he has other stuff on the weekends at a friend's house that isn't the end of the world, no big deal. Treats are treats, and that is fine. But day in and day out if you get rid of the foods that trigger appetite you won't have to regulate him and I think that will be better for self esteem, relationship, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Sara, I think the best indicator of whether or not your ds is seriously overweight is something you can see on your own. When he's not wearing a shirt, does he look firm and strong or fat and flabby? Â The BMI charts are nice, but they are flawed, particularly if a kid has either a very small or a very large frame. My dh's BMI is quite high, but he truly doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. He has a fairly large frame. My dad, on the other hand, was absolutely solid muscle, but he was small boned underneath it, so his BMI was very low, and he was classified as being underweight -- which he wasn't . Â What I'm trying to say is that the different weight and body mass indicators are just that, indicators. They're not 100% accurate for all of the people, all of the time, and your ds may be one of the people for whom the numbers don't really mean that much. Â It sounds like you're already doing everything right with your ds. I don't think you should let yourself get too upset over what you were told at the doctor's office, unless you truly believe that they were right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 My fitness pal is a great way to get an idea of how many calories/protein/etc. he's taking in in a day. You can also set for a certain calorie amount and see where your % fall into that. Â My ^dd^ gained a lot of weight because of steroids during her cancer treatment. We just talked about things in terms of having healthy bodies....exercising every day, eating our "colors" in fruits and veggies, and choosing healthy portion sizes. It's not about deprivation....it's about doing the stuff we need to do to take care of our bodies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 You LCHF group members have me in awe, seriously! I want to that kind of will power. Â Â Â Â aw, that made me tear up. Because until a few days ago I didn't have any will power. Now I do. For the first time in my life I can want something a bit, and not HAVE to have it. Not obsess. Not find myself giving in. I can be logical about food for the first time in my life. I didn't change, have an epiphany, get hypnotized, or anything. I just got rid of grains, sugar, and artificial sweeteners. And it was magic. Total magic. I can't even describe it. My calories (I'm tracking) dropped without me trying, and I have more energy. I tried keeping the diet coke in but that didn't work. But getting rid of all of it did. Â Oh, and he can't go make himself toast if there isn't any bread in the house :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 My boys are on the opposite end of the spectrum with BMI's of 14.1 and 13.5. I just had a serious conversation with our doctor about my youngest because his BMI is so low. We continue to focus on healthy eating and activity levels though unless there is some actual problems that they can pinpoint for us to fix. Eventually I'm sure They'll even out. It's wise to be aware that there is a weight problem, I'd advise not to let it make you feel defeated though. So long as you are doing the best you can to give them a healthy lifestyle. My doctor told me not to focus too much on BMI as it really isn't always accurate. I can understand the feelings, if only from the opposite side of the spectrum. Â :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 "Morbidly obese" makes me think of "morbidity," so I would think of it as obese to the point that it has negative effects on a person's overall health (blood pressure, diabetes, etc.). I don't think that is the true medical definition though. Â Â This is what it means to me as well. I think of morbidly obese as being beyond just a weight issue. It is the point at which weight is affecting other body systems and causing issues with blood pressure, blood sugar, joints, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 You LCHF group members have me in awe, seriously! I want to that kind of will power. Â Â Â Â Â aw, that made me tear up. Because until a few days ago I didn't have any will power. Now I do. For the first time in my life I can want something a bit, and not HAVE to have it. Not obsess. Not find myself giving in. I can be logical about food for the first time in my life. I didn't change, have an epiphany, get hypnotized, or anything. I just got rid of grains, sugar, and artificial sweeteners. And it was magic. Total magic. I can't even describe it. My calories (I'm tracking) dropped without me trying, and I have more energy. I tried keeping the diet coke in but that didn't work. But getting rid of all of it did. Â Oh, and he can't go make himself toast if there isn't any bread in the house :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 It's hard enough for me at 35 to have that kind of self control, and I'm goign to ask it of him at 8. You LCHF group members have me in awe, seriously! I want to that kind of will power. Â FWIW, changing my kids' diets is *hugely* daunting to me. Yesterday I read Taubes' "Why We Get Fat". Fascinating and really worth reading. But, what to do with my kids... (overweight isn't an issue in our house, but proper nutrition is! We have plenty of food issues. My kids are woefully imbalanced between protein, fat and carbs.) So, I procrastinate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 If her using that description of your DS was a "wake up call" for you, then she may have extended the life of your DS, by many years. Â I have a childhood friend (since we were 12) who was very obese when we were children and for much of his adult life. He gave himself the nickname "FATS" when we were children. Approximately 30 - 35 years ago, he took off about 100 pounds, with diet and exercise. Probably because he did that, he is alive and well today. It is VERY hard for him to keep the weight off, because he loves to eat, but he is also interested in a long healthy life. Â My late friend who was extremely obese, wrote to me, before he passed away, that he thought all of his medical problems were the result of his Diabetes. Â Diabetes is only one of the many health problems obese people are more likely to encounter. Â Diet and exercise are the answer for your DS. Â There are doctors and weight loss clinics and camps for children who are severely obese. Â Childhood obesity in the USA is a very common problem and help is available for your DS. Â GL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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