Catherine Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I want to thank the people who wrote last fall about the procedure to follow if you need a college student to be "checked on." Sadly, I had to use this knowledge over the weekend, but the end result was still tragic. I will delete later so please do not quote me. Parents-know the way to contact your children's roomies and friends! When we found ourselves in an information vacuum, the truth of this advice came home to me very powerfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Your poor ds. Praying for her family and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I am sorry for your son's loss. I hope he understands he did all he could. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuddleJumper1 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I am so sorry your son is going through this! What a difficult time. Praying for you all :grouphug: As a mom getting ready to send my first off to college in the Fall - thank you for this reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 The things we find ourselves teaching our children... They make it hard to think that we ever worried about which math book... Hugs hugs and more hugs Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 :grouphug: How sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Oh my goodness! I am so sorry. Please give that boy some extra hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I am so sorry. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 How very sad. My sympathies to your son and to his friend's mother. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Catherine, thank you for your very good advice and I am so sorry for your son. In the years that my dd struggled with depression, we discovered that there were far more young people with a tenuous hold on life than we would have ever expected. It's heartbreaking. Please let your son know he did what he could and then some; there is a point as hard as it is to accept, where no one can do more. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Your son was still a hero in my eyes and likely will be to his friend's mom too, but nonetheless, it's awful news to process for both. I feel for all involved. I really, really wish this had had a different outcome, esp since he tried his hardest when he was in contact with her. It's an awful burden for him. I wish the "other end" had been able to be quicker. :grouphug: Hugs and prayers to all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Good advice. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 ((Catherine)) Wow! I feel so bad for you and your son. Grace and peace to you and you shepherd your son through this. I hope he knows it is not his fault, he did everything he could! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nscribe Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Peace be with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nissi Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 God's peace and comfort be with you at this time! Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Thank you, thank you everyone so much for your kindness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 :grouphug: I'm so sorry for all involved. Next year we're launching older dd into the full time university world. Thanks for bringing this up -- I had missed the original thread about how to accomplish these check ins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Seeing your pastor is a good idea. If she is UU, she will respect his non-religiousness and focus on something else, like concrete information about the stages of grief. Outside reassurance that it isn't his fault will help, too. I know - you really hope that they don't run across crucial situations where adults let them down until after they are well into their own adulthood. Things like just don't help, do they. Does the school have counseling? We've found that helpful on a number of occasions. In our case, it was done so much as part of what the school offered, so much like just another sort of advisor that you met with weekly (or whatever) that it wasn't embarrassing. It doesn't hurt that they have experience with that age person, either. Vacation might be hard, with its free time, but this time safe with people who will love him even if he isn't exactly using his social skills, this down time, might help him to process some things now and might help to keep the grief and worry from surfacing elsewhere, like as an inability to concentrate when he sits down to study? Maybe? Grieving is work and work takes time and energy. Do you have any wood that needs chopping? Hugs, Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tullia Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Oh my, I am so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 My heart is aching for both of your families. So, so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildiris Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Your son should be commended for doing everything possible to help a friend. Thank you for reminding the rest of us to make a contact phone list for our children far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Yes, his school has counseling and he even made an appointment for himself-I was so glad to know he was thinking ahead about this. Unfortunately, he changed his break plans to return home a day early so will miss the appointment. Another reason for me to check something out while he is home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I'm so sorry! My arms have goosebumps reading this thread. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking news with us. Your son did EVERYTHING he could to get her help in time. Let him know how proud we moms are of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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