How to Teach Kids to Manage Their Boredom?

[JumpyTheFrog]

I really think boredom is a trigger for Tigger to have a meltdown. What do you do when your kids have already read several hours that day, you don't want them to have more screen time, and the weather isn't nice enough to go outside? I plan to rotate the toys, but I need more ideas.

 

In general, my philosophy is that it's good for kids to be bored once in a while so they learn to entertain themselves. However, Tigger has extreme reactions to boredom and it makes him miserable to be around, so it doesn't seem like the right approach for him.

 

He's nearly 7. How many hours of free time is reasonable to expect him to fill himself? After what point is it normal for him to need my help finding things to do? I don't want him to be one of those bratty kids that needs to be entertained all day long by someone else or they start whining "I'm booooooored. There's nothing to dooooooo!"

[JennW in SoCal]

What about crafts? My kids had a table near the kitchen that was stocked with a bottomless supply of construction and drawing paper, scissors, tape, markers, pencils with lots of empty cardboard boxes and paper towel tubes and such nearby. I had lots of books of craft projects on hand supplemented by lots of library books. Egypt crafts, space crafts -- anything that might spark their interest. They drew comic books, they made Transmorgifiers (ever read Calvin and Hobbes?) they made their own Pokemon cards, and just made stuff. Egyptian crowns. Swords. Shields.

 

How about legos? K'nex? I would be around to help, if it was needed, but they built lots of stuff from their own imagination rather than doing what was specifically in a kit. (Lego used to sell nice tubs of just blocks -- haven't seen those in a while, but I haven't been shopping for Legos recently, lol.) Shoot -- what about plain ol' wooden blocks?

 

Puzzles. And story tapes -- get some Jim Weiss story tapes if you don't have them already.

 

How about simple chores? Helping make dinner? Video game exercise such as Wii games? Or a big bouncy ball with the handle for hopping around the house?

 

I agree with letting kids be bored, but there are some kids who need a little help coming up with ideas, and some kids who really need direction. I'd give him maybe 3 choices of things to do, set a time that he needs to keep himself busy and explain that you need to do x,y, or z. There will always be the little drama queens and kings of the world who will whine "I'm soooo bored" no matter how wonderful a day they've had.

 

Don't know if this is any help since I'm not in the trenches any more! I know I dealt with one especially dramatic drama king, but I've blocked most of those memories and only remember the wonderful creative stuff that he did (and does now as a grown up)

[ebunny]

Have you considered buying a trampoline? I've had a mom tell me that it was a godsend for bad weather and when children are restless indoors.

 

Wrt the normal time for kids to entertain themselves...I have no idea. I have only one Dd 7.5 and she is a complete extrovert. She can entertain herself for an hour tops. After that, she wants ( and needs?) interactive play or talk.

 

[8filltheheart]

This is a biggie in our household and one I start addressing even during toddlerhood. I do not want my kids to have to seek outside stimulation for inner peace. I want them to be able to find on their own ways be to "interiorly" engaged. We believe it is an important life skill that must be mastered and that the need for outside sources to gratify that need is a character weakness that needs training.

 

We are struggling with the issue right now with our just turned 3 yr old who wants constant mental stimulation. We are to blame for her lack of skills right now b/c we spent multiple days for weeks in cross country long car drives where we would indulge her with watching dvds or in hotel rooms where we were keeping her entertained in order to keep her quiet. Now that our lives our settled again, she now wants and seeks the constant outside stimulation to keep her engaged vs. even attempting to play on her own.

 

We definitely have to set extreme limits on screen time. With my older kids, if screen time has been an issue, I have eliminated it completely. With our kids, there is definitely a direct relationship between screen time and the inability to entertain themselves contentedly.

 

Outside time is a huge. If you weather is still not conducive to large amts of time outside, even if you have to wait a few more weeks, using outside time is a great time to break bad habits and establish new behaviors. Building projects, creating their own worlds, etc seems easier outside for kids that are not used to it. (observations based on kids that come over that are not used to playing using their imaginations and are used to being constantly entertained)

 

Having lots of items that allow for imaginative play is definitely going to make it easier. For a 7 yr old......scraps of wood, hammer, nails, string, rope, pulleys, pvc pipe of various sizes and connectors, cardboard boxes of different sizes, etc. One that I just read about that we are going to do for our kids is getting lots of pegboard (the kind of board with small holes that are used in garages or workshops for hanging tools on) cut in various shapes and sizes and some with small doors/windows cut in them. With thin rope they can tie them together creating anything imaginable from a rocket ship to a castle (throw in an old sheet that can be thrown over top and even more fun!) and when they are done, they can be untied and stacked flat so they don't take up much room.

 

For inside, Legos, Playmobil, matchbox, model trains, whatever interests your child.....

 

With our 3 yr old, it means ignoring temper-tantrums and redirecting her to what she can do instead. Encouraging her and providing fun ideas is important. But, the key is to not give into her bc she needs to be "convinced" that this is the way life is going to be. ;)

[boscopup]

My 6 year old gets bored easily. He'll come ask me for something to do, and I'll give him a household chore. He then started saying, "What can I do that isn't cleaning?" :lol: Smart kid. I simply tell him that I am not going to give him something to do, except cleaning, so don't ask me what to do. ;)

 

Screen time definitely has a huge effect. When he gets bad, I have to completely remove ALL screen time (even educational) for the entire week. Then he starts entertaining himself more easily.

 

Things have gotten better as I've been more consistent with this.

[2squared]

Does your 7yo have siblings?

 

How bad is the weather that you can't go outside? My kids are outside every day unless temp + windchill is below 0.

 

Do you have imaginative, open-ended toys? Does your 7yo have any particular type of toy that he really enjoys?

 

My kids >2yo have no problem keeping themselves entertained all day, but they have plenty of sibs to play with, they go outside every day, and they have been expected to entertain themselves since they were toddlers (like a PP). We keep them well stocked in open-ended toys and I let them get messy every day. The mess drives me crazy at times, but I think it fuels their imaginations.

[Greenmama2]

Both my six and my three year olds will say, "what can I do that isn't cleaning?" lol. I'm following this thread closely but I don't have a lot of advice (obviously I do give out household chores ;) ).

[mathnerd]

Mine is a only child so has a hard time finding company to play with. There are no neighbors in the same age group. The boredom always hits when the academics are done and it is free play time. So, I always try to point him towards ways by which he can entertain himself.

He will do chores happily if I direct him, but will get sidetracked if left to his own devices. I restrict his screentime severely, so that is not an option. So, I give him a bag full of books and ask him to read quietly by himself if he is so bored and cannot find anything to do. That keeps him quiet for a while and then I ask him comprehension questions based on what he has read while I go about my chores.

Another option I have is a book full of chess puzzles. I give him a few puzzles at a time and ask him to solve them - some of them requires setting up the board and making a few trial moves to get the answer.

You could try lego projects, sudoku, chess, music (instrument practice) etc. which could be stimulating as well as not "academic".

[Lilaclady]

I think I am like Buscopup. When my kids are bored, I give them chores to do. Actually, my older ones love to read and will usually find something to do before they will complain of boredom. My 4 yr old is the exception.

 

I think depending on what your childs interest are you may want to have supplies ready for them to use. Lego sets, snap circuits, building blocks etc

I also like the trampoline idea but even something like a skipping rope can keep them busy and exercising for a while

Art supplies- paper, clay etc

Handicraft supplies etc.

[ElizabethB]

We recently added lego technic and some of the technic books, that is keeping my son entertained during the cold weather. Right now, their latest project is sorting all the Legos by color. That could take a week!!

[JumpyTheFrog]

We have Snap Circuits, Playmobil, Legos, art supplies, and a few other things mentioned. I think the problem is that some of it is "out of sight, out of mind" for Tigger. Maybe I should try leaving the art supplies out on the kitchen table for him to use.

 

Also, he really wants to do things with me. He plays with Little Guy (age 3) a lot, but has been commenting recently that he wishes Little Guy were old enough to play more board games with him. Before Little Guy was born, Tigger spent the first three years of his life following me around being my assistant. He loves to help me cook and if he could, would have me do projects and play with him most of the day.

 

I think our biggest problem is that when he declares he's "bored" he usually wants to do something with me, not by himself. I will read to him, go running with him, coach him at soccer, or cook with him, but I don't like "playing." He wants lots of attention - more than I want to give him (even if he's happy, but especially if he is giving me a hard time). He absolutely loves our trips to grandma's house where he has either grandma available to be with him all day for two weeks. (It's a really hard adjustment coming home, however.) I'd say his "love language" is definitely quality time, preferably lots of it. Unfortunately, DH and I are both introverts and it his need for so much attention drains us.

 

In comparison, Little Guy seems to do a much better job entertaining himself. I've thought for a long time that Tigger might be an extrovert, but now it's hard to tell because he doesn't seem to have the best social skills yet and is slow to warm up to other kids.

 

Little Guy, seems more likely to be an introvert (good attention span for a boy his age and can play by himself well), but he naturally has a higher "EQ" and better social skills. So in public, Little Guy looks more like the extrovert and Tigger seems more like the introvert.

[JumpyTheFrog]

One that I just read about that we are going to do for our kids is getting lots of pegboard (the kind of board with small holes that are used in garages or workshops for hanging tools on) cut in various shapes and sizes and some with small doors/windows cut in them. With thin rope they can tie them together creating anything imaginable from a rocket ship to a castle (throw in an old sheet that can be thrown over top and even more fun!) and when they are done, they can be untied and stacked flat so they don't take up much room.

 

That is a great idea!

[a27mom]

We have Snap Circuits, Playmobil, Legos, art supplies, and a few other things mentioned. I think the problem is that some of it is "out of sight, out of mind" for Tigger. Maybe I should try leaving the art supplies out on the kitchen table for him to use.

 

 

 

 

 

My girls entertain themselves well. But they definitely have stuff "in sight". Legos have their own corner, they are always out unless we have company. So the girls play with them daily. They also have other toys "out" in their own designated area (I use small rugs/mats for lego and Barbies in my girls case) We also have a limited variety. We have lots of lego, we have lots of Barbies, other toys are fairly limited. I try to focus on the things they really play with and let them create elaborate worlds with those. We do have some other toys but I think too many choices overwhelm.