Planning an intervention.

[Alexandra]

Someone I care about is abusing alchohol. This person becomes a rageful, combative person after drinking and has NO memory of it the next day. There has been one DWI (that Iknow of). A few days ago this person was out at a bar, slugged the bartender, had seven cop cars show up and was pepper sprayed.

This person is resistant to any advice. The spouse is desperate and needs support.

What can be done before this person kills someone or self?

Thank you.

[Guest inoubliable]

Oh. :grouphug:

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/intervention/MH00127

 

I hope that helps. Hopefully the bump will get you a few more answers, or a good PM or two. Good on you for wanting to take action!

[Starr]

Pm Joanne. :grouphug:

[redsquirrel]

That is when my mom left. It didn't make a difference to the drinker. He kept right on drinking.

 

really, you can't make someone accept help if they don't want it. All you can do is make sure you own needs are met and your kids are safe.

 

Has she contacted al-anon or another group etc that supports spouses?

[Catwoman]

This person sounds potentially dangerous.

 

If her or she is not a part of your immediate family, please do not be a direct part of the intervention.

 

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this person is not going to be particularly amenable to everyone's good intentions and may lash out at anyone present, or at anyone deemed responsible for the intervention.

 

Please be very careful. I know you want to help, but perhaps you can just be a supportive friend on the sidelines.

[elegantlion]

Are they facing charges for the assault? If so they need a good lawyer, who will tell them they need to get into a rehab program even under the appearance of wanting to change to avoid jail time.

 

Really, they won't change until they want to change. If they refuse help the best course is like Red Squirrel said, keep them and the kids safe. Many times that requires leaving or kicking him out.

[Alexandra]

thanks to everyone. There were not charges filed. The couple has no children and the person is female. I have another question...is it possilbe for this to be handled medically - seems to me I've heard of medicine that helps curb cravings?

 

I have not yet PM'd Joanne, but plan to this afternoon.

[elegantlion]

No, I do not believe addiction issues should be handled with another pill. Some people may say methadone is helpful in curbing addictions, but at least in the case of alcohol, it's something I would not wish on anyone. Methadone perpetuates the addiction, just in a different form. Yet, I know more than one person who was "recommended" to take methadone by their lawyer to show the courts they were doing something about their alcohol addiction. Ironically many of these methadone clinics were run by the state. I have no opinion on its use for other addictions, such as heroin.

 

Rehab, AA, al-anon for family members. That would be my recommendation. It has to start with a desire to stop drinking in the one with the issue. No one can give that to them.

[MrsBasil]

Al-Anon for the family member(s). Supportive friends/family, those are helpful. The one intervention I participated in was hard and not at all productive.

 

It took the person wanting to change and then they had to change. It was not a good experience and there's a lot of broken trust and relationships that can not be fully repaired.

 

There is antabuse, which I know very little about. It's usually court ordered in my experience.

 

Edited: TMI and not helpful.

[Alexigail]

Al-anon has helped me a lot with alcohol issues in my family. It sounds counter intuitive but the only thing your friend can do right now is focus on him/herself and not on the alcoholic. Healing has to happen for everyone in the situation. Youre never ever going to get an alcoholic to stop drinking until they're ready. For a long time my mantra was " You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it."

[Joanne]

thanks to everyone. There were not charges filed. The couple has no children and the person is female. I have another question...is it possilbe for this to be handled medically - seems to me I've heard of medicine that helps curb cravings?

 

I have not yet PM'd Joanne, but plan to this afternoon.

 

 

Hello. :)

 

There are drugs that can be used as an agonist. Basically, the drugs mute the biological craving for the drug. In order to be effective the client needs to seek *treatment* while using the Rx in order to naturally change/heal the brain so that the abuser's brain is not still configured to use.

 

Here's the thing. Alcoholism is a disease. It is progressive, predictable, treatable. The short version is this:

 

In the body of someone who, for whatever reason, is predisposed to substance abuse, alcohol excites the BEST, MOST AWESOME part of the brain. The part linked with sex, eating, great times with friends. The most powerful/primitive part. The effects of alcohol/drugs (AOD) on the brain mimic that of our natural feel good chemicals - particularly dopamine. In a body that is prone to react this way, the BODY needs more of the feel good. At the same time, though, the brain senses a kind of dopamine satiation and therefore produces less. That means when the person is clean/sober, they have less natural dopamine and ..... you guessed it, they want to feel good again. So, they use AOD. Where upon they feel better, and the brain registered "enough dopamine" and makes even less......

 

Eventually, the addict's brain is such that they use AOD to not feel like crap. Clean/dry, they do not have sufficient natural feel good to feel normal, so they use to feel not like crap.

 

In a teen who began using at very young ages, this recreation use to addiction process can happen FAST (for reasons related to the underdeveloped brain, and the parts that are not developed). In an adult who started later, the progression may be slower.

 

And not everyone has the predispostion. The predisposition is related to genetics (likely the person referenced in the OP has alcoholism in the family), early trauma, early educational challenges, early conduct challenges, having a co occuring mental health issue (and some other stuff).

 

Alcoholism is a disease - like any other disease, lifestyle, behavioral, and cognitive changes support recovery. But, due to ignorance and misunderstanding and stigma, you would expect an alcoholic to "just stop" and "be strong". You would never walk up to a cancer patient and say that, even if they need to made some changes (with the exception of cigarrettes, which is an addiciton and people feel they can say something.) You wouldn't say it to an asthmatic. Or a person with Diabetes I.

 

Getting dry (not drinking) is the first step in recovering. (And drinking is the LAST act in a relapse). After abstinence, early recovery is full of risk and stress and a lot of stuff needs to be done to heal the brain. Things that have the most impact are:

 

1. Exercise

2. Meditation

3. Routine, especially combined with fellowship

4. Meaningful social exchanges (the steps of 12 step programs do this, but there are other ways)

5. Sleep, nutrition, self care

6. Cognitive behavioral intervention

7. Affection

 

The above list help literally heal the brain. It disrupts the structure and chemical pattern that lead to AOD use. An addicted brain is a changed brain - literally - and recovery changes the brain.

 

My research and experience shows me that total abstinence is necessary - no brain can become not predisposed and people who were addicts can never *not* have a body that reacts in the way depicted here.

 

Recovery is a long, slow process. a 28 day treatment, a 3 month or 6 month treatment is only a crude beginning. Recovery is hard, and stressful. Recovering people who have all elements in their favor still have dismal stats. Recovering people who don't fill their lives with recovery are going to use again.

 

I would not support an intervention on the situation you describe. I'd support the people in the addicts circle get the help (and education) THEY need to understand the disease. The sad reality is that those close to an addict get sick themselves, aquire their own problems which then they have to address - regardless of what the addict does.

 

An intervention on an aggressive person with that level of defense mechanisms - done by people who are not educated on the reality of drug/alcohol abuse is a recipe for disaster. Please don't try it. I'm not debating the need of the person to get well, but the need does not create effectiveness. A group of loved ones who don't get substance abuse are simply setting themselves up for frustration and despair.

 

{{hugs}}

 

1.  

 

[Twigs]

Hello. :) …

 

{{hugs}}

 

Thanks, Joanne, for your response!

[Alexandra]

Wow, thanks for all the information ladies. Joanne I'm sending a message.