Pre-k 5 or kindergarten: What to do with a summer birthday son

[Okeychowie]

Warning this is a long post!

 

Hello I have a son who will be 5 in July. My husband and I think we should wait to start kindergarten until he's 6 because he's an active, wiggly little guy. We will be homeschooling with either classical conversations or another classical homeschool academy where they sit in a class, which he might need that extra year of play. He is smart and we are on lesson 40 of Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. He loves doing the lessons with me and is really good at them, but isn't interested in reading bob books on his own. He will have completed a year and a half of pre school, in which he did the hwot pre k program. He would rather build things and pretend than color or look at books. That was just a bit of background. We also read a lot of science books. I also have a 3 year old son and a 5 month old girl.

 

My main question is do I work on K work this coming year, without formally working with the county and then skip to 1st grade when he's 6 or should I just continue with what I'm doing and then do k curriculum when he's 6? I think he's smart enough for k, but not sure he's ready. I keep getting the advice that no one regrets holding back a year, but people do regret not holding back.

 

Thanks for any advice!

 

[AdventureMoms]

I would do K at home in whatever way he's ready for and make your decision in another year whether to do K again or move on to 1st. They change so fast at this age it's pretty hard to guess what his needs will be like a year from now. And K doesn't need to be sit- down focused or take much time. Last year I decided to do k4 with my bright and interested 4 yo, and thought she might be ready for 1st this year at 5. But she isn't, so we will do k5 next year and worry about 1st in another year.

[The Way of My People]

We were in this boat, too, and decided to keep our son home until he's 6. We'll enroll him in half-day K next year. We know he'll be too advanced academically, but we felt it was more important for him to be socially comfortable. We talked about enrolling him in first grade, but decided we didn't want him to miss out on the fun of K (and weren't anxious to have him be the youngest in his class). Maybe we'll regret the decision. We're hoping the school will be able to work with him academically through the gifted and talented program.

 

Such a hard decision!

 

ETA: Oops! For some reason, I thought this was posted on the Afterschooling board. :blushing: My response isn't terribly relevant to a homeschooling situation. Sorry!

[boscopup]

How about starting with K level stuff now, and make the decision whether to label him as K or 1st grade for outside class situations next year?

 

My oldest is a June birthday, and I put him in private school for K at age 5. He did fine, but wasn't a wiggly boy really. He was advanced academically, and that's why we're homeschooling now. I cannot even imagine how bored he would have been if I had redshirted him (he was reading at grade level 2.5 when he entered school). My youngest is a May birthday, and he's also advanced academically, so he'll start "K" when he turns 5. My middle son has a November birthday, but with his general attitude, he would have probably been redshirted if he'd gone to school and had a summer birthday. He's more of a late bloomer compared to his brothers (though he's quite bright). For homeschooling, it really doesn't matter though. He started K math when he was 4.5 and is doing 1st grade math this year in K. Reading has taken longer, so it *just* this last couple weeks started to really click (despite being able to blend 2 years ago). I've just followed his lead. Since I'm homschooling, it doesn't really matter. I registered him as "K" this year (I don't technically have to register until next year, but he's in speech therapy at public school, so I registered him for homeschooling to cover ourselves since he's "in the system" - my state has almost zero regulations, so I'm ok with registering early).

 

Either way you go, use the curriculum level that he's ready for. Curriculum level does not have to match age-based grade! My 3rd grader hardly does anything with a "3" label on it. My K'er is a mix of K and 1st curriculum, and my 3 year old is doing some K work (when he wants to - I don't require school until they are officially "K"). As you start CC or other outside classes, just continue at home with the next level of whatever you're doing in skill subjects. Those outside classes will mostly be content, right? There is really no grade level on content subjects, but more of a grade range. Just wait on the outside classes until you think he's mature enough to do them, and progress in the skill subjects as he's ready. Tell the state whatever you want next year when maybe the decision will be a bit more clear. :)

[2007mama]

My DS also has a late summer birthday and we had been doing a little of 100 Ez lessons in the year before. I sent him to K this year and while I can't say I'm glad we did (not crazy about the school) I think he was ready. He would have been soooo bored if I'd waited a year. They spent the first half of the year learning what sounds each letter makes. If you are homeschooling I say go for it! We afterschool writing, math, science and reading and spend less than an hour a day. We used Math U See primer, and it was a great level for him. If you've started reading instruction, most K reading programs would be at the right level too...if you wait a year you might find them too easy for your DS. The K science we have is too easy for us, I'd say.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is you'd probably find the k level materials a good fit for a young 5 year old who is ready and enjoys doing lessons, and you can fit what you need to do into a pretty short amount of time (if your student is cooperative; we have slow days too!), leaving lots of time to run and play. :)

[ByGrace3]

The great thing about homeschooling is the flexibility to meet kids where they are. Do K this year but don't send him to anything he is not ready for. Next year when he is in first. If he is ready to do CC or the other class, go ahead. If not, wait until second.

 

My 5 yo would have had a hard time in the beginning of the year in a public school K, but for homeschool I was able to meet him where he was and he has far surpassed my expectations this year.

 

I am a big fan of children being in the age bracket they would be in for public school. I have issues with 6 and 7 year olds playing on K sports teams. I think as a homeschooler we get the great benefit of teaching our child and meeting specific needs, even more a reason not to hold back unless there are more reasons than a "birthday." Reasons like my child can't sit for long periods of time don't apply to homeschoolers. ;)

 

Either way, if you start K and have legitimate reasons to hold him back, you can decide that then.

[Okeychowie]

Thanks for all the responses. I guess with this being my first time it's more never wracking. Everyone wants the best for their kids. I live in md so I have to file a waiver if he's not starting k next year.

I guess I'm just nervous to start all the record keeping involved with homeschooling. My husband is military and is usually here 3 months gone 3 months at a time. I guess I thought this extra year would be good for son who often likes to lay down at circle time. And at the same time give me a year of practice homeschooling.

[lea_lpz]

I also have a son with a summer birthday, June 1st, and have wondered about that. The new cut off date in our state is Sept. 1st when he will enroll as a k'er which would now make him on the young side.

 

My ds is actually doing pretty well, so it might not be necessary, but my dss, born May 26, although able to academically do well, seems like maturity wise would have been better off waiting another year.

 

I would keep working with him at his level if he's willing, cheerfully doing the work and decide in another year. You could always use the extra year as a cushion year later on that'll allow you a little flexibility during the elementary years to go slower or have wiggle room for taking rabbit trails without worrying about throwing you off.

[pehp]

I filed a waiver so my 5 year old (June b-day) isn't doing kindy as far as the state is concerned but he is as far as I am! And my ds is unusually good at sitting and concentrating. I just wanted to buy myself a year to see how we progress, without any pressure or reporting. (it is going great!)

 

I would continue gently doing reading lessons, do some fun/hands-on math and let him run and play. And chores!!!! Later in the year if he seems ready for 'more' then you can modify your plan.

[throughpagesandfields]

My son's b-day is July also. So he'll actually be 4 this summer. We're homeschooling all the way through, but I'd given it a lot of thought as to when I'd start. I'm going to do some pre-K stuff with him next year... and probably Kindie stuff when he's JUST turned 5... But I'm calling the next two years Pre-K and K without the pressure. haha! I think I'll file with the state once he turns 5, officially saying I'm doing Kindie at home. I don't plan on entering him in the PS - so I don't really care where they think he is supposed to be at grade wise - and to my knowledge so far my state has to testing/portfolio or anything required. But part of why I'm doing it is because I feel like he'll be ready by then as well. I'm pretty Charlotte Masony - and she didn't really buy into any formal schooling until age 6... and while I don't want to "inflict" any curriculum on him until he's really truly ready (he's also a very busy kid - not really into the whole sit at a desk and do a workbook thing! :)) I feel like a very slow encouragement into more "schoolish" things will work better for him than all the sudden saying at age 6 - okay we're doing school now! He's more of a slow change kind of kid.

 

I know what you mean about the paperwork. I was really tempted to do the same. I still might - I need to look into the laws and decide what feels best... But I also kinda realized that I just want to get all my ducks in a row early - so that if I've made mistakes there's time to figure it out or change things later.

[GSOchristie]

My middle son is an August birthday. We will not be formally starting CC with him until he is six, and at that point, I'm requesting he be in the Abecdarian class (usually 4-5). He is wiggly and immature, and I'm giving him an extra year to get there. He is just three, but this is my plan :).

[musicianmom]

My ds3 has an August birthday, and he will be in K at 5. I'd rather deal with some extra wiggles and modify the curriculum as needed than to force him to wait an extra year for a diploma down the road. I have struggled with the idea of him always being the youngest everywhere, but he is big for his age and a smart kid, so I think he'll probably deal fine.

[kiwik]

Someone has to be youngest though. I really don't see why everyone sees it as such a big deal. The only disadvantage that I have found is that people blame everything on your being young and/or socially immature rather than looking for the real problem.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Well, I have a similar situation. Thankfully, I'm in a state I just don't have to worry about it. My ds, adopted last July after a significant trauma and neglect history, turns 5 in May. He *seems* 3 in every way (physically, speech, etc), except cognitively. If I had to decide about sending him to school, I wouldn't. However, I don't. I can simply teach him at his level and pace. If he does more than our local Kindergarten (probable), great. If not, great. He is an individual and we homeschool, in part (a major part), to provide an individualized education for each kiddo.

 

If I had to file paperwork? I'd wait for Kindy officially for another year with MY child whose situation is significantly different than the average child's. For a fairly typical kid with a typical history, I'd just assume it'd work out eventually. If you think you're just going to skip 1st, you seem to think he'll be just fine *really* soon. That is different than having the goal of him catching up by 10 or 15 (my situation with my first son). I would probably just call him the age-based grade assuming there isn't testing before 1st or 2nd grade. You'll have to kinda figure that for yourself though.

 

In general, I think kids should just be called whatever grade they would be based on the cut-off in their state. You can adjust that at jr high age, up or down, as necessary for the individual child. But it is silly to go up and down a few times throughout childhood (which is what happens sometimes with asynchronous kids or kids who seem very "ahead" or "behind" at 5 or 6). Of course, you're not really talking about that situation either. Just saying what I've seen (well, and possibly what I was silly enough to do at one time :wink:).

 

I'm not much help, huh?

[Okeychowie]

Someone has to be youngest though. I really don't see why everyone sees it as such a big deal. The only disadvantage that I have found is that people blame everything on your being young and/or socially immature rather than looking for the real problem.

 

Do you have a son with a summer birthday? Because if you don't than you probably don't understand. Mines not wild, or out of control but boys are different than girls. Most of my concern comes from if he were going to a regular school. If you look up real research, not just news articles, you will find many cognitive and even hearing disadvantages that boys face.

 

With my children to be schooled at home it's been hard to remember that he won't be made to sit at a table all day doing the new "academic kindergarten." This means he will be free to get done exercise in between classes.

[mamakelly]

I have 2 summer birthday kids and we did Kinder the September when they turned 5. I think most 5 year olds, (whether wiggily or not) would be terribly bored waiting another full year to start Kindergarten. It's only March. Your ds has 6 months before September. That's such a long way away. It would be much much easier to start Kinder and decide after 3-4 months that it's too much for him, and slow down and have him do 2 years of K, than make him wait 1.5 years from now to start K.

[lea_lpz]

Maybe you should consider a curriculum that is more hands on and can be broken up into shorter segments.

 

I was advised not to enroll my dd in K from the preschool she was at and do pre-k. I shopped around for a hands on curriculum that did less seat work and used more hands on learning / multisensory activities. I planned to begin at a pace to complete the curriculum in about 14 months (we actually started in April after she turned 5) so we could do the pace of about 3-4 days a week with wiggle room but planned to either set the curriculum aside or slow it down to spread over 2 years if it became too much for her. She actually did fine and we should be wrapping up by June 6 if we continue to work at the 4 day a week pace (we'll have a week off for Easter).

 

So, you could be surprised.

 

Ultimately he's your boy and you'll get a feel for what's going to work best for him.

[Okeychowie]

Thanks again everyone. It all give me confidence to not officially enroll in k, but do k work this year. Then make my decision next year. If I think he needs to repeat.

 

Another on of my anxieties is that I am a low patience kind of person. If I know he can do something, but doesn't want to, I push and we some times have a negative experience (I blame my Asian upbringing). I guess I just want to make sure I'm not expecting too much of him.

 

I'm sure ill be making a new post for curriculum advice I feel like I'm drowning in choices and I'm not up to speed on all the acronyms people use on their recommendations.

[vonfirmath]

Do you have a son with a summer birthday? Because if you don't than you probably don't understand. Mines not wild, or out of control but boys are different than girls. Most of my concern comes from if he were going to a regular school. If you look up real research, not just news articles, you will find many cognitive and even hearing disadvantages that boys face.

 

I have an August 3rd son. We sent him to K this year (and yes we had to send to public school due to family situations). He was really wiggly and I was wishing I could homeschool so I could teach him at his academic level without worrying about the social consequences. But I could NOT hold him back a year. He was too ready to learn and would be utterly bored if held back. So I sent him and the school has been WONDERFUL with him. He's much less wiggly than he was at the beginning. He sits still and listens, and all of the things I thought might make him not a good fit have proven to be things they expected out of K children and work to teach them how to behave properly. I do not think he would be nearly so far along if he had been left in pre-K and daycare for this time. He has learned a few new things laong the way as well, though as I expected he already knew most of what they expected K kids to know. AND, here at the end, when they did the Gifted testing, he tested in! (they do it at the end of the year, not the beginning) So he'll be in gifted classes/programs going forward.

[2squared]

Our cut-off is Sep 1, and I have early Sep and late Oct boys. I'm really, really glad they are after the cut-off so I don't have to make the decision.

 

I also have three spring birthdays. My 5th grader has girls almost a year older than her in the same grade, and I can see the difference. They are physically bigger and they act older. It's been a bumpy road for my 5th grader, and she isn't even in public school. She participates in public school sports and extracurriculars. We're the only homeschoolers in our community, so she only has public school friend choices. I've only noticed the issues in the last year or year and a half.