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"Leashes" for 2 year old twins?


Runningmom80
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We've had many threads over the years about leashes for toddlers. The consensus seems to be that they're a necessary evil. It's so much better to have a child securely leashed to you than to have a child running around wild or hanging off your hand screaming.

 

I lost (temporarily) a three-year-old in the Smithsonian Museum on one of the most crowded days of the year. We found her on another floor after a half-hour of frantic search. She was non-verbal and hyperactive -- she would not have been able to tell anyone who she was or even scream for help if she'd been taken. If she'd been attached to me with a leash that incident would not have happened.

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"She" may. I had a "leash" for my youngest child. He was so active and I had three other children six and under so I needed a way to control him. He was so active and it came down to a matter of safety. I don't remember anyone ever glaring at me but I was probably too busy counting heads and making sure everyone was safe to care at that point.

 

People who judge a mother with toddler twins should be ashamed of themselves!

 

Elise in NC

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I had them for all 4 of my kids. Sure, I had comments. I replied to each one, "Would you rather see my kids run over by a car in this parking lot?" That's not what I wanted to say, but the kids were with me. As you can tell, the comments were mostly negative, and said by a bunch of Stupid People.

 

I actually did say to one person that he ought to make an appointment with his proctologist because they can do a quick x-ray to find his head. The kids were too young to understand that comment.

 

The kids didn't mind ithe leashes in the least. Good thing, because I wasn't about to take a chance of one of them darting off into a car's path. I knew I was a responsible parent.

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So obviously this is for me. :)

 

We are going to philadelphia soon, and i will have two days with the kids by myself while my DH works. I'm thinking the only feasible way to do any museums or anything would be to get those little backpack leashes. They detest the stroller, they are 2.5. I would obviously need the stroller to get from place to place, but they won't sit happily in it all day.

 

I've grown a pretty thick skin, but I'm a little apprehensive of the amount of glares and insults that may come my way. ;)

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Probably. In another lifetime, I would have been one of those people who shot nasty glances at someone who used one with their child. Then I grew up...and had kids. You do what you have to do to keep your kids safe, you know? two 2-year olds? I see nothing wrong with the gentle use of those kiddie backpacks if she's got a couple of bolters! I never used one myself, but I wouldn't think anything less of a momma with two toddlers using them to keep her kiddos safe. So if she feels they may help, she shouldn't worry about other people's stares and comments--but I would be prepared for them.

 

ETA: I see this is actually for you, OP. Yeah, in your situation,get the backpacks and don't worry about the looks. I'm sure someone more witty than me has some great comebacks for any comments you might get...

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If you don't feel they will be safe on their own, it makes much more sense to use one, especially as there are two of them.

 

I always thought they were a bit strange, but a lady on my street has a child with some sort of developmental health issue who is certainly not a toddler, that she has a leash for, and I realized it was probably a safety issue and made sense. I did think it was idiotic when an elderly man on the airplane had one for a barely able to walk toddler. It just didn't seem like the kid could escape at that speed. Especially going up and down the aisles of an airplane.

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We bought one of those harnesses, when DD was very young. That was an EXCELLENT investment and a great way to keep her safe.

 

Yes, we got some comments about it, because those harnesses were uncommon here in Colombia at that time, but the vast majority of the people, after they thought about it, thought it was a great idea.

 

I would not have been able to take DD to the SuperStore, without that harness. She loved going to the SuperStore with me, so having her in the harness was part of the deal.

 

Since I'm a "Gringo", I attract attention anyway, but with the harness and a toddler....

 

Buy a Harness and USE IT!

 

We heard on the P.A. system in the SuperStore, many times, announcements about children who were lost. We didn't want DD to be one of those.

 

With TWINS, this is more urgent than with ONE.....

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I've always been mystified by this prejudice. We strap our children into luggage trolleys (strollers) like parcels; is that any better than putting leashes on them like dogs? At least the 'dogs' are up and moving, not tied up like parcels.

 

FWIW, harnesses and leashes are relatively common in the UK.

 

Laura

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We've had many threads over the years about leashes for toddlers. The consensus seems to be that they're a necessary evil. It's so much better to have a child securely leashed to you than to have a child running around wild or hanging off your hand screaming.

 

I lost (temporarily) a three-year-old in the Smithsonian Museum on one of the most crowded days of the year. We found her on another floor after a half-hour of frantic search. She was non-verbal and hyperactive -- she would not have been able to tell anyone who she was or even scream for help if she'd been taken. If she'd been attached to me with a leash that incident would not have happened.

 

I lost track of my 15 month old in a major airport. Thank God a porter found her. He put her on his cart and was taking her to security when I found him. She wore a leash from that day forward. Leash your baby and look past the stares. Have fun in PA!

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We used them with our twins. I'd been against them, until the inevitable day that they each took off in a different direction and both were headed for potential danger. We bought leashes the next day. I don't remember any rude comments, though I do remember several approving ones. I'd say got for it. :)

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I used a harness for my middle daughter when she was about 2-3 years old. When she was 18mos old, we moved to Tokyo, with its narrow side streets shared by cars, motorbikes, bicycles, and pedestrians alike. Once she outgrew being willing to sit in a stroller or stay in a sling carrier all day, I needed an option that would allow her to walk but keep her close to me at all times.

 

I wish I had known about them when my oldest daughter was that age. I actually lost her in stores (here in the USA) on more than one occasion because she was so cunning. She would get away from me if I let go of her for 30 seconds to pick something up off the rack or shelf. She was so cunning and would find ways to hide from me, playing "hide and seek." Thankfully, that girl is now grown up and I'm getting paybacks hearing her talk about her two little ones! I love her! She's a wonderful woman and a great mom.

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I had them for all 4 of my kids. Sure, I had comments. I replied to each one, "Would you rather see my kids run over by a car in this parking lot?" That's not what I wanted to say, but the kids were with me. As you can tell, the comments were mostly negative, and said by a bunch of Stupid People.

 

I actually did say to one person that he ought to make an appointment with his proctologist because they can do a quick x-ray to find his head. The kids were too young to understand that comment.

 

The kids didn't mind ithe leashes in the least. Good thing, because I wasn't about to take a chance of one of them darting off into a car's path. I knew I was a responsible parent.

 

 

That sounds just like something my dh would say. :tongue_smilie: But he might be a little more blunt even in front of daughter.

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We walked across a high tourist bridge with a leash on dd even though they had fairly high safety fence. I just felt more comfortable with it. It had a doggie on the backpack and the leash was the tail. There were many more people that thought she was cute than nasty stares. I found the doggie pack and leash at Target. I don't know how well it would do with a larger kid.

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I only had one child and usually didn't need one. I remember i used one when I traveled alone with him when he was 2......going thru the airport after our flight he was running so hard that I can't imagine how it would have been without the leash.

 

If you don't regularly use one I would recommend practice before your trip. I saw a dad using one with 2 year old twin boys last weekend and they were all tangled up....LOL.

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Amber, I would tell your friend not to worry about people who can't keep their nose on their own face.

And know that some of us are trying to teach our children better than to be in other people's business.

 

AND? I've used a tether twice. One was with a young'un with RAD 15 years ago. More recently, I did with Monkey.

I really don't give a darn what anyone else thinks about it. I have to do what works for my family.

I don't PREFER tethers, but I don't prefer squashed, screaming, spanked, etc toddlers either.

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When I used one for my son, I prefer to use the term safety harness, almost every one I met thought it was a great and smart idea. He could walk and explore without being drug by the hand. He was too big for his stroller, and it wasn't allowed in the building we were in, and I couldn't carry him. It was also a blessing in the airport.

 

 

 

 

 

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Not from anyone who has been responsible for two-year-old twins.

 

 

Absoultely this :thumbup: !!! I had a runner and that made me like this :willy_nilly: . My other one was pretty easy. I mostly had them contained in a stroller or had someone with me to help, but whoever was assigned to the runner was a very busy person. I did use those cute stuffed animal/backpack type leashes when we went to the zoo or someplace very busy. I got a few rude comments and a few stares, but I didn't care. I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to them. It was a crazy time :D ! My runner grew out of his runner stage by 4.5 I think.

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Yes, your friend will get stares and rude comments from people who are truly horrified that she would do such a thing. And you know what? They will all be people whose dc were not impulsive or runners, whose dc never left their sides, and whose opinion does. not. matter. If she didn't use one, those exact same people would be the ones to give her obvious advice as she tried to catch her dc, as if she were totally incompetent. "You shouldn't let her run around in the store like that! She might get lost!" or "You need to tell her that she has to stay out of the street! It isn't safe!" Duh. There's no pleasing some people. Keep the dc safe.

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I've always been mystified by this prejudice. We strap our children into luggage trolleys (strollers) like parcels; is that any better than putting leashes on them like dogs? At least the 'dogs' are up and moving, not tied up like parcels.

 

FWIW, harnesses and leashes are relatively common in the UK.

 

Laura

 

I also think it's weird that strollers are acceptable, but leashes are not. ??

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:ph34r:

 

I may have a friend who is considering this. Do you think she is going to get rude glares and unwelcome comments?

 

:ph34r:

 

Not from me. Though I've never used on myself I remember my mom used one with my sister. She was the youngest of 3 and a very early walker (8mos). My brother was already 3yo and a handful and she just couldn't keep track of both so she used a leash on sis.

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If you don't regularly use one I would recommend practice before your trip. I saw a dad using one with 2 year old twin boys last weekend and they were all tangled up....LOL.

 

This too! I actually gave my boys the stuffed animal/backpack part without the leash to love on when I first got them. Then we practiced in a the house or yard a little bit.

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I don't understand what the issue is about using a leesh. I'd be shocked if someone here made a negative comment to me about it - why would you. It's obvious why you are using it.

 

As for me ...I could never use them on my kids. All three would drop to their knees and refuse to walk when I put it on. Then they would still run the other way and people would get caught between us. I ended up just throwing them all in a trolley when we went shopping.

 

Now I just strap my 3 yo who is a runner into his stroller .... He protests for a few minutes but then sits happily. Handing over the IPad works as well. My other 2 are like dogs chasing squirrels when we go out. They don't purposely wander off but they get distracted by everything and disappear regularly. I wish they made harnesses big enough for 5 & 6 year olds.

 

 

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Here is my policy since having twins, unless the person talking to me has personally raised twins, their advice goes right past me most of the time.

Raising twins ( esp. In the infant and toddler stage) is an entirely different game. I am thinking about getting one of those backpack ones for ds3 because he is a runner just for trips to target, and i will for sure get one if we take a trip this spring ( for both of them actually)!

Do you know that there was an article a while back ( can't find it now) that moms of twins live longer because we are tougher?

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:ph34r:

 

I may have a friend who is considering this. Do you think she is going to get rude glares and unwelcome comments?

 

:ph34r:

 

 

I have used a leash on my older son and am about to pull it back out for my girl (who has twice run out into the street and doesn't appear to understand when told to STOP and such things). If I got rude glares, they went over my head. And the only comments I got were sympathetic.

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Sadly I'm afraid your friend will get comments and stares. She would get comments and stares if she didn't use the tethers. Half the people she meets will wonder about how horrible it is that the kids are tethered. The other half will wonder why on earth the kids aren't tethered. . It is a no win situation. She should do what she needs to do for the safety of her children.

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Will she get rude stares and unwanted comments? Definitely. Should that stop her from using them? NO!

 

My twins were not runners, but one wasn't the most observant child so he would randomly follow other ladies if they were wearing the same color pants as me. The first time that happened was at a Walmart and he made it all the way from the dairy section where we were grabbing a gallon of milk out down to the produce before he realized he wasn't with me and started to freak out. Being the nonverbal kids that all mine were at that age, he really couldn't tell people where we were. A strange man was walking him back towards us. I thought that was the longest few minutes of my life, but I was wrong.

 

Fast forward a few months and we are going to Disney World. Having learned my lesson at Walmart the rule for the twins was either wear the leash or stay strapped into the stroller. Of course since they weren't used to being harnessed they balked at the idea and refuse to put them on. Fine, ride in the stroller. That was all fine and dandy until we go into a store and I left my DH in charge of the strapped in twins while I walked around the corner of the store with DD. Guess who let them out of the stroller... :glare: As I was walking back around to them a guy comes in asking if anyone had lost a child because there was one going across the bridge crying alone. At that moment I did the head count and sure enough it was my wanderer! Animal Kingdom was PACKED that day and as I darted out of the store there was no way to find him in the crowd. It was a small miracle that my SFIL was walking back from getting fast passes at Mt. Everest and spotted him and swooped him up. Now that WAS the longest few minutes of my life. Needless to say, those twins did not get out of the stroller unless they were on a ride for the remainder of that trip.

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I just walked through 2 airports with my 3 1/2 yr old on a monkey backpack and got lots of he is so cute. He loves his backpack and actually is the one who found it at the consignment store and asked me to get it for him. He even asks me to hold it when we are at home. That said my now 5 year who needed a lease more than anything....broke hers within 24 hours of my buying it. I think more people are realizing how valuable they can be.

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:ph34r:

 

I may have a friend who is considering this. Do you think she is going to get rude glares and unwelcome comments?

 

:ph34r:

 

 

I know some people use these and love them, but I despise them. They're kids, not dogs. Hold their hands, carry them, or stick them in a stroller. Though I've done a good job of restraining myself in recent years, I have been known to give looks of disgust to people who use these things, and when I was dealing with infertility I did make a comment or two. FWIW, I never had twins, but my kids are 13 months apart, and the oldest is a very active boy. I used a double-stroller, or held his hand while DD was in a sling/backpack. I never felt the need to leash them. That being said, they're becoming more and more common so she's unlikely to get as many dirty looks now as she would have 7-10 years ago. Parents are judged by society no matter what they do, so someone at some point is going to give her a dirty look in public when she's with her kids whether she leashes them or not.

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Please don't be concerned about what others think when it comes to 2yo twins! Heavens. My girls are 3 months apart and I still have nightmares about the time I took them to JCPenney and ended up with my hands full, unable to hold theirs. (They were actually 1.5, but it's the same thing.) I finally had to make them sit on the floor while I requested assistance to get my merchandise to my car.

 

When you are childless or a granny, you care what other people do with their kids. When you're in the trenches, you have enough to do chasing your own.

 

I do recall seeing a pair of 4yo twins on leashes at the zoo once (in a kid-friendly building). I thought they were kind of old for that, but I also realized that I don't know them, and I might not want to see what the alternative would be like.

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I have used them with my two youngest at Disneyland. One is a two year old, the other is a quietly independent four year old who will silently leave to go wherever looks interesting to him before you realize that he isn't standing there anymore. I bought these super cute backpacks from a seller on e-bay (it is a littlelife daysack) that look like normal backpacks (no cutesy animals) but have detachable leashes. They are large enough for water bottles or a change of clothes and are great on hikes as well! I was recently at a museum and was kicking myself that I didn't thing to bring them! I didn't notice any looks, but I wouldn't have cared if I had. My peace of mind and an enjoyable trip is worth a lot!

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I don't understand the judgement. I have used a backpack/leash with my middle son at Disney and the airport, and I used it again when I had my third child. My youngest loved it and asked to use it when we would go on nature walks, instead of the stroller. I used a sling with him until he was walking well, but my back was giving me trouble. So I would use the leash with the understanding that there are people who will judge. (Grrrrr)

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Anyhow, two-year-old twins are such a cute phenomenon, it would take a real fuddy-duddy to focus on the leash aspect of things. I didn't use a leash, but my kids (who were often assumed to be twins) attracted attention all the time, and the attention was normally positive no matter what we were doing. And believe me, they could be a handful at times.

 

I'm reminded of the first time I let them push a wee shopping cart through the grocery store. They thought it was hilarious and were cracking themselves up the entire time. It was so darn cute. Nobody cared that they didn't follow grocery cart protocol 100%. :)

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Thanks for the replies!

 

See, I expect to get the "they aren't dogs" comments! That's what I'm talking about. Lol but hey, I'm not making them eat out of a bowl on the ground, and they aren't going on a runner.

 

Plus, we put babies in "cages" (cribs or pack n play) all the time, and they aren't zoo animals!

 

My dd is very, "adventurous," and there is no way they will willingly sit in the strollers for hours at a children's museum. I'd rather them be able to get out and explore, and not get lost.

 

Anyways, I ordered them. I even let them choose which animal. That makes it a little better right?

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