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Posted

You know-- when you're pregnant, you read all the books about babies and are somewhat prepared for all the baby stages.

Everyone has advice on the toddler stages.

Young elementary ages are pretty standard, and you think you are an expert at this whole parenting thing.

 

Then they turn 13.

NOBODY told me about teenagers. I knew they would eat alot. I knew they would have weird clothing taste. But I was NOT prepared for the attitude!!!

 

I was an only child, who was NEVER allowed to talk back, have any negativity towards my parents.

 

My 13 year old is driving me nuts. One minute, he's happy and sweet, and kind, and hardworking. The next second, he says everything is too much work, he is driving everyone nuts, he is demanding to be treated like an adult (without having earned it), whiney, complaining, talking back, questioning...

 

In this house, we have never allowed the talking back/questioning, whining, negative behavior. So I don't know WHY he thinks it's suddenly ok?

 

And my husband is always taking his side, saying that it's MY fault that he is only acting this way because I'm not letting him be an individual. (yet when I do, he gets worse!)

 

Let me be clear to my husband and everyone else-- I will NOT raise a snarky, rude, disrespectful son! So if I have to be mean all the time, fine. (grumble, grumble, grumble...) I'm so sick of being the mean one.

 

I'm also sick of walking on eggshells too. I'm not going to tiptoe around my own house acting like a cheerleader so my 13 year old wont get moody.

 

I need books or a support group for parents of hormonal teen boys. Or a cattle prod and duct tape. Or some STRONG booze.

Posted

No great advice, I'm not at that stage yet. Replying to give you a bump and to say that I hear it gets better eventually--the snarky phase doesn't last forever.

Posted

And my husband is always taking his side, saying that it's MY fault that he is only acting this way because I'm not letting him be an individual. (yet when I do, he gets worse!)

 

My boys are still young and I am pretty sure going by "genetics" that it would be interesting. Growing up with a big bunch of male cousins and nephews (my dad is youngest) meant that I experience first hand that it is easier when there are good role models. You would need a talk with your hubby so that both of you can have a consensus on what is acceptable and what is not.

For example, a cousin pick up chain smoking, another pick up serious drinking. It was not acceptable to their parents and they work hard at getting their kids to kick the habit. .

They do get better, though some take past teenage years to be matured.

 

For books I have read

Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different - and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

Posted

Thanks ya'll.

 

He drove me nuts today, I guess I had ENOUGH! LOL

 

I did a search on this site and found an old thread from December that had several great suggestions on books.

 

I spent $60 on amazon, LOL All on dealing with teenager books. Hubby laughed. :D

Posted

Which books did you find? My boys will be 12 on Sunday. One of them has been invaded by aliens that have deided to make my life difficult. What have they done with my once compliant, sweet child?

Posted

I think I unfortunately got an early start on this one. My oldest ds is 11 and the mood swings put to shame any I've experienced while pms'ing....

OP, I too went on amazon last night in search of books. Sigh....

Posted

I loved the book Yes, Your Teen is Crazy, by Michael Bradley. Even though as homeschoolers, my teens were not facing some of the cultural challenges Bradly writes about, it still gave me a lot to think about.

 

Also, despite his snotty tone, I am indebted to John Rosemond for his book Teenproofing. It gave DH and I a plan for dealing with our oldest during his worse years.

 

Neither if these books was just about boys.

Posted

Hmmmm, our former youth group leader, says this is an age when the husband needs to step into the foreground and boys in particular need to hear, "You will not talk that way to MY wife." As the mother of two boys and one dog, I've begun to think it is kind of a pack animal thing. ;)

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