Teens don't look forward to getting a driver's license anymore...and parents don't seem to want them to.

[DarlaS]

My kids will be 17 or 18. I like 18 better. My kids will also have a lot of metal around them or no driving. I don't want them to have a lot of metal (suv, etc) until I think they won't hurt OTHER people on the road as young teens.

 

 

:iagree:

 

My kids will be learning to drive in a 2.5 ton full-sized crossover SUV. I owe it to the world to make sure they can really handle that thing well before I turn them loose.

[Arcadia]

It is all location too. My cousins who grew up in rural area all drive early and have a few pickups/trucks to drive. Those who stay in the smack in the center of town all drive later and are mainly one car families. They all got their driver's license at 17. In the urban area parking space is a premium too.

[Susann]

State by state teen driving deaths acticle. I live in Indiana which has one of the highest.

http://autos.aol.com/article/deadliest-states-for-teen-drivers/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl12%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D275395

[SorrelZG]

I had no strong desire to get a license. I preferred to walk and could do so. I'm 31 and still don't have one (various reasons but ultimately no need, no desire). It's never had anything to do with being babied (I wasn't, I was pretty much on my own). My mother never seemed to feel strongly one way or another.

[happyhomemaker25]

My oldest has emotional issues that means she lacks maturity. For this reason her last year here has been a probationary one. She's done so well that for her 16th birthday she will be getting a learner's permit. Only a year behind her peers. She must prove herself responsible enough in the next year to be upgraded to a driver's license. It's not a right to drive. It's not a sign of adulthood that you get your driver's license. A sign of adulthood is that you are mature enough and responsible enough to be trusted with a vehicle that could easily kill you or those around you. Of course this child went from age 12 to age 14 without being let out of my sight due to her issues. To say she's matured and changed in the last two years is an understatement and one I'm proud to make!

Her next sister? I could see her going at 15 to get a permit and 16 to get her license. At 12 (almost 13) she was mature enough to leave home alone far before my oldest.

I'm not holding anyone back from growing up. They have to show me they are growing up though. I need to see responsibility in their every day lives before I put them behind the wheel of a car. Kids mature differently as parents it's our responsibility to recognize when they are ready for what.

[Mommy22alyns]

I think it's safer to wait longer, but obviously it depends on the child and circumstances. I have no idea where we'll be when the girls reach that age. If Rebecca is still in gymnastics and exhibiting responsible behavior, we'll consider getting her set up earlier so she can drive herself to/from practices. I have NO idea about Sylvia.

[LucyStoner]

I grew up in a city where parking was expensive at all the places we wanted to go as teenagers. We generally preferred to catch public transit. None of us were babied or chauffeured around by our parents. I was getting around on the bus before I was 10. In high school I only had 2-3 friends with their license and their own cars before age 18 and this was at a school where it was mostly well off kids. I learned to drive when I was 24 and a mom of a toddler. Why did I wait? Cost and also a fear of cars. A childhood friend who moved to the country was killed, along with several others in a back road drunken driving incident. Wrapped around a tree or whatever. The funeral of a 16 year old is something no one should have cause to attend. When I was 17, I was hit while a pedestrian by a car, driven by a young person running a light. Not good.

 

Teens cause a ton of accidents, I think because they feel invincible. That's why their insurance is so high. At 24, I was not at all reckless with my car, ever. There is value in waiting.

 

My husband on the other hand got his license the day he turned 16.

 

I will let my kids do so when they are old enough to contribute to the costs and they seem to see the seriousness of the potential consequences of reckless driving.

[gardenmom5]

It is all location too. My cousins who grew up in rural area all drive early and have a few pickups/trucks to drive. Those who stay in the smack in the center of town all drive later and are mainly one car families. They all got their driver's license at 17. In the urban area parking space is a premium too.

 

 

my sil used to have a farm. her oldest learned to drive at 14, on the farm doing farm chores - e.g. moving stock, hauling feed, etc. he got paid for them too. he would rarely have been on actual roads, and then they would have been very rural.

[Guest]

I'm wondering if perhaps you should have put JAWM in your subject line?

 

 

I can't keep up with the replies. But no, I didn't think "JAWM." I'm amazed that so many parents feel this way and I'm amazed so many kids could not care less. I don't want everyone to agree with me. I am curious why everybody does not share my obviously superior belief. :laugh:

 

BTW, my own dd is not in a hurry. That is part of what precipitated my question. I am driving the bus on her getting her license. If I was leaving it up to her, she probably would not care for at least another year, maybe more. There's an aspect where that rubs me the wrong way, because I wonder if she's too coddled that she's perfectly happy for me (or someone else) to drive her tail all over town. :bored:

[Renee in NC]

I want mine to get their licenses as soon as they can. However, in our state that requires passing 3 out of 4 classes, so my almost 15yo is not on track to get his. In addition, they will have to pay for their own license/insurance/gas. Someone gave my 15yo a truck that had caught on fire. He rebuilt it, rewired it, etc. so he has a vehicle. He works enough for various people to pay for his insurance.

 

The reason? He has a job waiting for him with a mechanic in a nearby town when he is 16, and I don't want to have to drive him there.

 

I got my license the day I turned 16, and I was a safe, responsible driver. Most of the kids I went to school with were. Yes, there were accidents with tragic consequences, but life is that way. I hope to never, ever lose a child, but I also realize that I can't wrap them in bubble wrap or save them from themselves.

 

ETA: My 19yo learned to drive when he was 12. He was backing trailers before he has his permit. My 15yo drives on private roads at times. Our state has graduated licenses after a year with a permit, too, so there is quite a bit of experience before they are in their own.

[Freckles]

My girls will most likely wait until they are 18 if we still live in L.A. at that time. I trust my girls, but I don't trust all of the very aggressive drivers here. I hate to drive here because people don't obey the rules of the road. I would be very worried that my 16 years old dds could not anticipate someone being an idiot. However, if we still lived in OKC they would have their license at 16. I did. You can take a back road or surface street anywhere. There are so many variables to consider. I don't think it's a one size fits all type of situation.

[LucyStoner]

I would not want to tell a child I thought they were unable to manage the responsibility of driving.

 

 

Why the heck not? Safety comes before any "right of passage" in my book. Perhaps if a younger sibling got the green light earlier, the older less responsible one would take a page out of their sibling's book and wise the heck up. I am far more willing to tell my kids the plain truth than I am to attend their funeral or the funeral of one of their friends. The stats on teens driving, especially boys are truly not great. Letting all kids drive at 16 regardless of their capacity to do so safely is clearly not a law that has worked out for public health and safety. Nothing magically clicks in the brain the day you turn 16. 1-2+ tons of metal is too much to play around with until you are truly ready for the responsibility.

[4kidlets4me]

I don't understand this. When I was a teen, most peers could not wait to get their driver's license as soon as they possibly could. Most parents seemed eager to have an independent driver in the house. This no longer appears to be the case. 16th birthdays come and go with kids seeming to have no thoughts about getting a license. Another mom was just saying (happily) that her dd has said nothing about it, though she is turning 16 next month and mom adds, "...And I couldn't be happier!" Another mom chimes in, "Yes, good! Wait as long as possible." Another mom adds, "As soon as they can drive, you never see them anymore. Every weekend, they will be off somewhere..." I'm perplexed.

 

I see this as another feature of the way western culture babies kids until very late in life. 25. 28. 30. Baby, baby, baby. Keep them living at home, keep them unable to do anything for themselves. Stave off driving for as long as possible, which will also mean they most likely will not work for pay.

 

 

My DD can't wait to get her license. She will get her permit at 15 which is the earliest possible here. I want her to have plenty of time between permit and license with lots of driving time and instruction. In my state they have graduated licenses so there are lots of restrictions on who she can have in the car and whatnot. I do not think there is anymore of a danger to teens driving than there was when I started driving. I think it's just a perceived danger much like that of kidnappings and the crime rate. 24 hour news channels have created fear where there is none.

 

I see the babying going on here too and I don't understand it at all. Not one of the teens my DD knows has a job or has ever looked for a job. Some of these teens are 17-18 at that age I had 2 jobs in the summer and had been working since I was 15. My 20yo niece just got her first job a few months ago, even though she is not in school(never graduated).

 

When I was a teen I couldn't wait to drive, couldn't wait to work, couldn't wait to grow up! Now teens have no interest in any of it. They just want to be kids forever it seems. I have no idea what the cause is.

[VeritasMama]

I was 15 when I got my license, most of my friends were 14. My husband started driving a grain truck when he was twelve, and he was driving a pick up truck when he was younger than that.

 

When we were growing up and the rural nature of the place we grew up meant that kids were not coddled. My childhood wasn't hard by any means, I didn't even get a job until I graduated high school. My point is that there was still a culture where kids were expected to be very independent and responsible. You had to take a pretty extensive driver's education course in order to get your license that young, with plenty of time behind the wheel as a "student driver." Driver's Ed was offered through the school district, and everyone I knew took it in 8th or 9th grade.

 

Although every person I knew got their license as soon as they were legally able, that didn't mean they were driving. Plenty of kids in my class although they had their license still had to ride to school with their parents or had an older sibling that did most of the driving. I myself did drive around town, but I wasn't able to drive on my own out of town until I was 17.

[DawnM]

So if I don't let them drive or they don't want to drive at 16 they will never grow up and will be babied and dependent on me until their late 20s......got it.

[DarlaS]

FYI, It's "rite" of passage--not "right". Different spelling and different meaning. Driving is not a "right" of any one of at any age. It's a privilege and requires more than simply reaching adulthood. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[momofkhm]

It's funny, dd15 and I were just talking about this today. Oldest got her license on her 16th birthday. She wanted it that way. Middle (15 yo) doesn't care that we probably have to wait a day or 2.

 

But what middle and I were discussing was that a lot of her friends have their permits and yet never drive. In NC you have to have 60 hours of driving, 10 of which must be night driving, on your permit to get your license. Middle can get her license in a little over a month and she still needs about 4-5 hours, but it all has to be night driving. We just don't got out that often at night.

 

One friend will be 18 in a few months, it makes sense for her to wait cause then she can not mess with driver's ed and a permit. But most friends are 15 and need to get those hours in.

 

I want dd to get her license so she can drive to classes and what not and I don't have to!

[Elinor Everywhere]

I would tell my child I thought they were unable to manage the responsibility. Better I make that call than wait until they kill someone or themselves because "oh dear they might not have their license at 16".

 

 

This. I had no problems telling my son he wouldn't be driving at 16, although his sister will. In our case, he agrees with me, but even if he didn't it's still the best decision.

[LucyStoner]

Sorry, not having a license at 16 does not equal coddled. Where is the connection? If anything I was not coddled because I had to walk to work which was 2 miles each way. I did that for years. That's a lot harder than driving myself there.

 

 

Yeah, I am not seeing no driving as equally coddling. I filed my first tax return at age 12 and have worked for a paycheck ever since, except for a few months here and there and the last year of being at home with the kids. I earned great marks in school and did a lot of leadership oriented extra curricular activities. I worked, usually more than 1 job at a time, all the way through college with no debt and NO financial assistance from family. My little brother lived with me while I provided for him from the time I was 18 to 21. I eloped at 21 and had a son right at 23. (THAT was the most reckless thing I have ever done and it seems to have worked out so far...11 years and 2 kids later, both of us agreeing we are happier than ever.) Frankly, mom and dad giving me a car and me driving everywhere sounds way more like coddling IMO. Getting around on my feet, my bike and the bus (thus choosing to spend my money on college and family needs and some of my brother's medical bills rather than a car) till I was into parenthood was if anything more self reliant and responsible that having a personal vehicle to go everywhere.

[Guest]

I still am not up on all these pages. I should have waited to the weekend to post this.

 

Methinks Quill is tired of getting up early and schlepping to high school.

 

 

There is an aspect of that, though it's actually more being available at 2:30pm to schlep her back home. But the bigger question to me is - why? Why are so many kids barely noticing they are turning 16 and could drive?

 

I voted 1-2 years later than the min. legal age since I want them to have more time behind the wheel with a parent in the vehicle than our state requires. That wasn't one of your choices, so I picked "other". Virtually all of your choices for a parent waiting revolve around paranoia or a desire to infantalize our teens (except for the money one--so the only real acceptable "out" is if you're broke?).

 

Let me guess, you just read The Case Against Adolescence? :tongue_smilie:

 

A little science to back up those who decide to wait before handing their teen this incredible responsibility: http://www.aacap.org...decision_making

 

 

I haven't heard of that book, though it sounds like I would agree with it.

 

You may want to take a refresher on human sexuality.

 

 

I was thinking that, too. I also thought that "the liquid" for carrying sperm does not begin production until male puberty.

 

My kids will get their license (assuming they want it and feel comfortable with it) when they turn 15, the legal age in our state. I want them to become independent. I want then to get a job. I want them to date and hang out with friends and go to movies, etc. I don't want to have to be available every time they do those things. Call me lazy but I would rather they handle those kinds of details (within reasonable limits of course) of their lives by the time they are nearly an adult. I will begin preparing my kids for that kind of responsibility long before drivers ed comes into the picture.

 

My favorite quote "I am not raising children, I am raising future adults."

 

ETA: I should mention that we live in a rural area with only a small city. If we lived in say, Seattle, I think my opinion may differ a bit. Without access to any kind of public transportation or even close friends (distance wise) getting around take bit more planning.

 

 

I agree with every sentiment here, including your last ETA.

 

I want to point out that walking and biking where I live is exceedingly dangerous. Pedestrians have been tragically struck and killed walking on these no-shoulder, windy roads. I generally see being in a car as far safer. I am a runner, but I drive to a park where I can run in safety.

 

In my state (MD), it is a long process and it costs to send the kid to driver's school. I can see how expense is a deterrent, but not a permanent deterrant. Personally, I would rather my child have a class then get to 18 and be able to get a license without having taken a class. That strikes me as far more dangerous. I have spent hundreds of dollars on everything from Latin lessons to a few seasons of baseball, so I can't imagine thinking paying for the class so my child can learn to drive as unworthy of the investment.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

My eggs, I mean my sons, are not coddled. ("Coddled" is right up there with "rigor" as far as I'm concerned, as words that are oft-repeated but never defined and therefore mean nothing. Rather stupid words, IMO.) Unspoiled children who have to pay 100% of their driving expenses, and earn their own car, are often willing to wait on that license!

 

In our circle, most of the boys are on the poor side, financially, but high-achieving in as many areas as possible. They don't drive until age 17 or 18 because that's how long it takes their families to figure out how to pay for drivers' ed, insurance, and vehicles. We've got a nice carpool situation forming with other families, and our city just voted on some measures to improve public transportation. Our boys aren't anxious to drive because they aren't anxious to work every spare minute to pay for the privilege.

[Danestress]

 

 

Ok, so this is interesting to me. You were not coddled because your parents paid for your drivers ed, license, etc at 16? And you didn't have a job until after high school? Again, not coddled? Truly this is baffling to me.

 

 

 

 

I am sure it seems like coddling to some. Really by some standards most American kids are coddled. Most American kids take having food and a home for granted.

 

But I think a kid could be decidedly uncoddled and still have these things. My husband did. His mom required a lot of him as she was a working Mom who had a hard upbringing herself. She expected DH to do a very large amount of hard work and housework. He also was expected to excel in school, participate in sports every season, get his Eagle Scout, etc. His parents really wanted him to get into an academy. He got into all of them, and that saved his family more money on tuition etc then any dinky high school job ever could have.

 

I think coddling is more an attitude then any one particular thing. His parents expected him to work hard, take responsibility, and act like an adult. He did and always has.

[higginszoo]

Depends on the child here.

 

My oldest is pretty responsible and conscientious. Even though it WILL be expensive, I could really use the help. There are times when I'm double-booked, and instances where I'd like to go do something, but the kids need a ride somewhere. Having him drive (still a year+ away) will be a help. Especially since it's looking more and more like his best option might be full-time college at 16, but probably still living at home. One community college campus is within walking distance, but he may well exhaust his options next year as a part-time, non-driving student. He's more interested in courses at other campuses at the CC/possibly local campuses of 4 year universities. Public transportation is nearly non-existent where we are (there is one bus that runs a couple of times a day from the CC campus), he will likely have/need a job, too, so having him drive would make life easier.

 

My second has opted for public high school. I'm not sure that she could find her way there and back yet, so it's a good thing that she'll have a bus to ride. She has a terrible sense of direction, and not always good judgement. She knows this about herself, and she and we are leaning toward her being older when she gets her license. Probably the summer between high school and college, as it is a life skill that I would like for her to have before she leaves home, especially given her current college choices and career ideas.

 

My third is the one who will probably enjoy having his license most. He'll likely be at the right age around the time his brother is leaving, and may well become my replacement driver.

 

The baby ... too soon to tell yet. Her siblings will likely be gone by the time she's old enough. She'll probably go to ps or maybe cs for high school. Right now, I look at her ADD and say no way, but where she is now will only be half her lifetime then.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I don't mean that anybody's stupid for saying either "coddled" or "rigorous." They are legitimate words, of course. I just mean that we've overused the words until they've lost their meaning.

[Parrothead]

 

You are confusing spermatogonia with spermatozoa. Spermatogonia do do not mature and divide into sperm until puberty has begun.

 

Ah, well, Okay. This is a much nicer clarification than the whole "go back to school" stuff.

 

Thanks for taking the time to let me know. Since I was in college so very long ago the biology answers seem to have been better defined.

[Parrothead]

 

You are confusing spermatogonia with spermatozoa. Spermatogonia do do not mature and divide into sperm until puberty has begun.

 

Ah, well, Okay. This is a much nicer clarification than the whole "go back to school" stuff.

 

Thanks for taking the time to let me know. Since I was in college so very long ago the biology answers seem to have been better defined. Or perhaps my instructor was uninformed of his topic.

[Ellie]

Not *all* teens aren't looking forward to getting a driver's license, and not *all* parents don't want them to. We have always had friends whose dc didn't get their licenses, and teens who were in no hurry.

 

And FTR, it's "rite" of passage, not "right" of passage. :D

[LucyStoner]

FYI, It's "rite" of passage--not "right". Different spelling and different meaning. Driving is not a "right" of any one of at any age. It's a privilege and requires more than simply reaching adulthood. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

 

 

Thanks for tossing that out there. Obviously no one ever makes errors when typing and thus needs to have this pointed out?

[Hen]

my oldest got her license about 8 months after she turned 16 and it was because we were more comfortable having her a bit older. My second dd was 16 this Winter, and we are waiting, partly because she does not seem interested and mostly because it doubled our car insurance rates to put our oldest on our policy, she cost about the same as my husband and I combined. We are in So. Ca and it is plenty expensive just having dh and I on it...we really can't afford to add another teen to our policy.

 

I think the difference from when I was a teen is that we are much more willing to drive our teens around, when I was a kid it was a hassle, most of the time, to ask my parents to take me places. My next kid is a boy, and frankly because of safety/impulse reasons we will wait a year or two to get him his license.

[Chelli]

BTW, my own dd is not in a hurry. That is part of what precipitated my question. I am driving the bus on her getting her license. If I was leaving it up to her, she probably would not care for at least another year, maybe more. There's an aspect where that rubs me the wrong way, because I wonder if she's too coddled that she's perfectly happy for me (or someone else) to drive her tail all over town. :bored:

 

 

I don't have teenagers yet, but why don't you just ask her why she's not interested. Maybe she thinks she's not mature enough. Maybe she's worried about failing the test. Maybe she's simply afraid to be behind the wheel of a car. I would hate for my mom to think something so negative about my motives and intentions without asking.

 

If she is just happy to enjoy the free ride, then maybe sit down with her and make a plan or just enjoy the fact that she wants to be with you instead of driving off every day and not seeing you until bedtime.

 

Just my .02 that aren't worth even that much since I'm not speaking from experience here except remembering my teenage years.

[Guest]

Not *all* teens aren't looking forward to getting a driver's license, and not *all* parents don't want them to. We have always had friends whose dc didn't get their licenses, and teens who were in no hurry.

 

And FTR, it's "rite" of passage, not "right" of passage. :D

 

 

Doh! And I'm "Quill!" I hate it when I make a grammar mistake! :laugh:

[Julie Smith]

My kids are young, but I plan to start them getting a license right at 16. If I remember the rules in Ontario, Canada. Between taking the first written test at age 16 and having a normal full license it takes 2 years. It's something like at first you can only drive with one adult beside you with 5+ years experience on non highways during the day... a few months later you can take a test and you can drive on highways, but still not at night. A few months later, then you take another test and you can drive with X amount of passengers, ...

 

So it's a very bad idea to wait since you might find yourself needing a license and realize it will take a year or more before you can have it no matter what.

[Guest]

 

I don't have teenagers yet, but why don't you just ask her why she's not interested. Maybe she thinks she's not mature enough. Maybe she's worried about failing the test. Maybe she's simply afraid to be behind the wheel of a car. I would hate for my mom to think something so negative about my motives and intentions without asking.

 

If she is just happy to enjoy the free ride, then maybe sit down with her and make a plan or just enjoy the fact that she wants to be with you instead of driving off every day and not seeing you until bedtime.

 

Just my .02 that aren't worth even that much since I'm not speaking from experience here except remembering my teenage years.

 

 

Well, it's not as though she would say, "I'm just perfectly content being driven around by other people. I know there's a car for me to drive whenever I get around to getting a license and there just isn't anything driving me out of my comfort zone." kwim?

 

Obviously, it's easier and more comfortable to have someone else drive you around then to have to suck it up and learn, conquer the intimidating aspects of it and become confident behind the wheel. I don't think it's negative to recognize that most people, including teens (or especially teens) would rather not have to focus attention on something stressful and challenging if they don't have to. Comfort never made anybody great. Difficulty does.

 

When I took a job in the huge, scary city, 18 years old - I was petrified. I had no idea how I would figure out bus fare, learn where to go after getting off the stop, tell derelict people to get off the steps so I could open the office and so on. Luckily, my parents were poor. It was an absolute need that I get paying work and manage to arrive there somehow or other.

[gardenmom5]

Why the heck not? Safety comes before any "right of passage" in my book. Perhaps if a younger sibling got the green light earlier, the older less responsible one would take a page out of their sibling's book and wise the heck up.

 

 

my nephew started working with the fire dept as a teen. (he's now a full fledged paramedic) He responded to accidents with teen drivers. (some were pretty graphic) even though he was still a teen, he did major lecturing to his younger sister to be a more responsible driver *because* he saw the results of the other.

[Guest submarines]

I don't understand this. When I was a teen, most peers could not wait to get their driver's license as soon as they possibly could. Most parents seemed eager to have an independent driver in the house. This no longer appears to be the case. 16th birthdays come and go with kids seeming to have no thoughts about getting a license. Another mom was just saying (happily) that her dd has said nothing about it, though she is turning 16 next month and mom adds, "...And I couldn't be happier!" Another mom chimes in, "Yes, good! Wait as long as possible." Another mom adds, "As soon as they can drive, you never see them anymore. Every weekend, they will be off somewhere..." I'm perplexed.

 

I see this as another feature of the way western culture babies kids until very late in life. 25. 28. 30. Baby, baby, baby. Keep them living at home, keep them unable to do anything for themselves. Stave off driving for as long as possible, which will also mean they most likely will not work for pay.

 

If you want them to drive, what are your motives? If you want them to delay driving, what are your motives? Poll to follow.

 

ETA: I messed up with the two later questions - I didn't realize you must choose something for each question. I can't figure out how to add a choice now. Sorry. I guess you could pick other.

 

 

I really agree with the above, as a general trend, but I also think that 16 is awfully young to drive independently. I think the main reason for such an early minimum age was the sad fact that many North American cities aren't designed for walking.

 

With the exception of 4-5 countries, the minimum age is 18. 14-16 is simply crazy! :leaving:

[vonfirmath]

I find it kind of strange. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to drive. Same for my friends. I think it is kind of strange when the teens don't have any interest.

 

As for my kids, I am excited and scared for when they are old enough to get their learners permit. When they are of age I will be signing them up for drivers ed.

 

 

*shrug* I was not overly eager to get my driver's license. My parents had an extra car and wanted me to be able to drive to get my sister and I to school/after school activities and such. So I got it. But I wasn't eager even at the time.

[melmichigan]

I am one of five children. Out of the five of us who all obtained our license as soon as legally possible, I was the only one who graduated high school without being the driver at fault in an accident, luckily without serious injuries. Now things are even worse with police targeting teens, teens texting while driving, etc. Just venturing into the city these days is taking your life in your hands for an experienced driver. I don't think that 16 is a miracle age for being able to drive these day, and in many instances I think that 18 would not hurt in the long run.

[Pawz4me]

My oldest obtained his learner's permit and then driver's license as early as possible. Youngest will do the same. Our reasoning is that we want them to get as much driving experience as possible while they're still under our control. Legally they could wait until 18, get their license w/o any professional classroom or in-car instruction and start driving. We feel it's better for them to get that professional instruction, get their permit at 15, drive as much as possible in a year under our supervision and then get their license at 16. That doesn't mean, of course, that the day they get their license they get freedom to drive whenever and wherever. We still control the keys and therefore have the ability to ensure they get more practice driving under our supervision if necessary.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I still have a while to worry about this as my kids are still pretty young, but the teens I know have all been extremely excited to start driving.

[Laura Corin]

 

This. I had no problems telling my son he wouldn't be driving at 16, although his sister will. In our case, he agrees with me, but even if he didn't it's still the best decision.

 

I might need to have similar conversations.

 

Laura

[Word Nerd]

.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think 18 is better in general. I voted that teens are individual and I treat them as such.

My daughter was 16 when she got her license. She was ready to drive before her age was double digits.

My son will be 18 in April and doesn't have one. He just started showing an interest.

 

Though there is information that more practice makes for better driving, there is also information showing that kids, whether they have driven or not, are safer past 18. I saw one thing that went as far as to say that at a later age (not sure, I think it was 21), people were safer drivers starting at 18 rather than 16. So in general, I think that it makes sense to wait. However, due to circumstances, I'm glad my daughter went ahead and got licensed. I would have allowed my son to get his license before now also, btw.

 

As for a job? I don't think that having or not having a car has to matter. Of course, I also think that working is optional at 16-18 years old.

[Running the race]

One of the reasons teens wait in California is because of the extra requirements when you take the driving test before age 18. You need to take a 30 hour class, have 6 hours of professional driving instsruction, and 50 hours of driving experience before taking the test. The expense and time commitment, along with the horrendous southern California traffic and expense of insuring a teen driver, causes the teen to get his license later.

 

Personally, I was glad to provide the instruction since we have the money. For our family, it just made sense to spend my time and money to prepare a safer driver for society.

 

Since there are no insurance costs associated with a permitted driver, there was no downside. We spent six months getting his 50 hours of driving. If, at that time, I did not think he was a good driver, he would not have been allowed to take the driving test. He would have continued to drive with the permit.

 

I have a seen my son mature a lot through the process of learning to drive. It has been a step into the adult world.

[Mrs Mungo]

Maybe, Quill, you should start a poll specifically for the parents of teens. You could ask (without value judgments) whether our own teens and/or their friends have their licenses and why we think that is. There are a lot of people arguing this who don't *really* know yet what their situation will be.

 

My eldest doesn't have her license because of the complications added to graduated licenses when you move every 2-3 years. She is ready to test now, but we are moving again and I am not sure how long her license is provisional. We have to figure that out.

 

Most of her (mostly homeschooled) friends don't have their licenses. Some of them have a similar situation to dd. Finances are a primary concern of other kids. Even the "middle class" kids generally have a sahm, which taxes the family finances compared to dual income families.

 

Many homeschooling activities involve siblings and/or require mom to volunteer, so a license doesn't help mom out as much as it would someone like you whose dd is in school.

 

Minimum wage has not kept up with inflation. Sure, I paid my own insurance and college. But, I would NOT be able to do that in today's world working minimum wage jobs.

 

So, I think there are a lot of factors.

[Reeciecup]

I let my kids got their licenses as soon as they are legally able. I want them to learn to drive while they are still at home in familiar surroundings and still under my authority. I think I would feel very nervous about an 18 year old going off to college with a brand new driver's license. Here driver's ed is free, and then you have to have your permit for 12 months before you are allowed a licence. I pay for the insurance, until they buy their own cars, then they get their own.

[Guest]

Sorry, I haven't read the other replies.

 

One of the reasons teens wait in California is because of the extra requirements when you take the driving test before age 18. You need to take a 30 hour class, have 6 hours of professional driving instsruction, and 50 hours of driving experience before taking the test. The expense and time commitment, along with the horrendous southern California traffic and expense of insuring a teen driver, causes the teen to get his license later.

 

Personally, I was glad to provide the instruction. What better way to spend my time and money than to prepare a safer driver for society.

 

It is almost the same in MD (where I live). I guess the hoops and costs are somewhat of a deterrent for the under-18 crowd, but I personally do want those hoops. I think maybe you're saying that, too, in your last line, but I might be misinterpreting it.

 

Maybe, Quill, you should start a poll specifically for the parents of teens. You could ask (without value judgments) whether our own teens and/or their friends have their licenses and why we think that is. There are a lot of people arguing this who don't *really* know yet what their situation will be.

 

My eldest doesn't have her license because of the complications added to graduated licenses when you move every 2-3 years. She is ready to test now, but we are moving again and I am not sure how long her license is provisional. We have to figure that out.

 

Most of her (mostly homeschooled) friends don't have their licenses. Some of them have a similar situation to dd. Finances are a primary concern of other kids. Even the "middle class" kids generally have a sahm, which taxes the family finances compared to dual income families.

 

Many homeschooling activities involve siblings and/or require mom to volunteer, so a license doesn't help mom out as much as it would someone like you whose dd is in school.

 

Minimum wage has not kept up with inflation. Sure, I paid my own insurance and college. But, I would NOT be able to do that in today's world working minimum wage jobs.

 

So, I think there are a lot of factors.

 

Nah. I want to hear thoughts on it, even from those who don't have teens yet. My opinion on this was formed long ago; having a driving-age teen hasn't changed it. :)

 

I do understand expense and how it can be a contributing factor, but I don't understand seeing it as prohibitive if one would otherwise think it's beneficial. I view it as an expense that is part of parenting. I wasn't counting on paying $4,500 to straighten my kid's teeth, either, but we managed to do it somehow or other. (I'm not being flippant towards those with serious financial strain - that isn't what I mean.) When I learned to drive, my folks had one car - that's it. I didn't have a prayer of driving on any regular basis until I bought my own. Buying my own was difficult. I didn't manage it until I was 19. I had to pay for 100% of every single thing. But I at least had a license. Everything was in place when I did buy my own car.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It is almost the same in MD (where I live). I guess the hoops and costs are somewhat of a deterrent for the under-18 crowd, but I personally do want those hoops. I think maybe you're saying that, too, in your last line, but I might be misinterpreting it.

 

 

 

Nah. I want to hear thoughts on it, even from those who don't have teens yet. My opinion on this was formed long ago; having a driving-age teen hasn't changed it. :)

 

I do understand expense and how it can be a contributing factor, but I don't understand seeing it as prohibitive if one would otherwise think it's beneficial. I view it as an expense that is part of parenting. I wasn't counting on paying $4,500 to straighten my kid's teeth, either, but we managed to do it somehow or other. (I'm not being flippant towards those with serious financial strain - that isn't what I mean.) When I learned to drive, my folks had one car - that's it. I didn't have a prayer of driving on any regular basis until I bought my own. Buying my own was difficult. I didn't manage it until I was 19. I had to pay for 100% of every single thing. But I at least had a license. Everything was in place when I did buy my own car.

 

We can't pay for braces either. Not everyone has a lot of money to pay for things that aren't absolutely essential.

[babs]

I want my teen driving ASAP so that we can "mentor" them for a few years while they are learning...a lot of the real learning takes place when they start driving alone. Don't get me wrong...we paid big bucks for my son to take a skills course training in addition to the regular on street driving. He learned to handle a vehicle on ice, in traffic, when there are obstacles, etc... And we got more than the minimum hours driving with him for a year with his permit. But driving alone is different...we felt he was ready...but I am still glad he can call before he leaves so I know if he is not home to start looking! And he tells us about near miss situations...we talk about how to handle it better next time. We get 2 or more years to mentor him before he drives far away to follow his dreams.

 

I guess I like to let go in stages!

[babs]

P.s. son pays for his monthly insurance plus put in $ for the deductible in case of accident. If no accidents when he graduates, we give back deductible towards his own car. I little skin in the game, KWIM?

[Danestress]

Maybe I misunderstood, but it seemed like she was saying kids got their license because they weren't coddled. Like those who don't are coddled.

 

 

 

I read what she said and I am not sure she intended to say that someone was coddled if they didn't have their license. I thought she was arguing against the argument that she might be coddled by not having a job but still having the privilege of a license. It wasn't really clear.

 

And in a way, I guess if you want to accuse people of coddling their children, you could do it either by saying, "Your kids are so coddled, you just hand them the right to a license on a silver platter" or by saying, "Your kids are so coddled, you drive them when they are capable of doing it themselves." So here is one discussion that everyone can get defensive about:)