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Would anyone like a 10 year old boy this week?


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OK, I wouldn't REALLY give him away, but I'm losing my patience with him everyday lately. He has a "glass half empty" personality and he whines and complains all day long. I know it's February and we're all getting cabin fever and getting bored, but he's driving me crazy. He whines about having to get up in the morning, he complains that he didn't eat enough breakfast and he's still hungry, he whines that he's cold, he whines that his K sister is already done with her work and he's not, he complains that his sister is making noise in the other room, he complains that he doesn't like math, he complains that his play breaks aren't long enough, and on and on and on. The only time he doesn't complain is when we are reading together. We use Sonlight and he *loves* when someone is reading the books to him. I try to encourage him to concentrate on his work and be more positive, but I eventually lose my patience and then he starts crying and complaining that I'm "yelling" at him even when I'm just trying to be firm and not actually yelling (yet!). Does anyone have any ideas on how to help someone be more positive? I've tried taking away computer or TV time when he gives me a hard time. I've tried giving him extra computer time when he cooperates, but that is so rare that it's hard to use as a reward. I try to add as much reading to our school day as possible, but I feel like he's being lazy and just wants me to make all the effort.

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Oh, I'll put my 10 yo on the auction block today, too! She was doing her chapter-end review of Fractions today, test tomorrow. and she acted like she had NEVER SEEN A FRACTION BEFORE!!!! Um, honey? We've been doing fractions for, like, 2 months now?????

 

I totally kept my cool, I'm so proud. Now she's happy as a clam and making brownies. Ah, the rollercoaster that is now my life! :glare: :lol:

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I think it is interesting that many people have responded, but no one seems to have an answer. :glare:

 

Well, I don't know if this is an answer, but I've btdt 4 times now :) One day it suddenly hit me that as much as my boys were feeling out of sorts with me, I was also feeling out of sorts with them. I had a sister who lived nearby and we found that on those "out of sorts" days, I could send them over to her and they would behave beautifully! She would do some fun things with them - usually art because that's her thing and definitely not mine. It made me feel sad at first thinking that I was the reason they were out of sorts, but on those days, I, too, had beautiful behavior :p

 

So...all this to say that sometimes a drastic change of scenery or pace is called for. This is the time of year it happens for most people.

 

I would take an evening and send them to their room or somewhere away from you, tell them you are planning a surprise, and then plan something really different for the next few days or week. If they are like my kids, they will be so full of suspense that they will wake up excited and ready for the new day knowing that something different is going to happen.

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OK... I'll second the change of scenery idea. When DD11 gets into super-grmpy-moody-whiny mode, often I will relocate her work location. Her favorite, of course, is the nearby coffee shop that carries kiwi-strawberry drinks. Of course, a nice coffee for me improves my mood too! But we also use the library, the ktichen table, or the living room sofa as "alternate" school locations.

 

I have also found that we need more movement breaks in February than in other months. Today she went out and spent 45 minutes happily shoveling snow in the driveway and cleaning off my car. Worked wonders for both her attitude AND mine!

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Second the out of sorts Mum equals out of sorts boys. But now, it doesn't exactly start that way.....

I do find that some physical activity of some sort seems to help--not just playing, but an actual assigned physical chore. I send mine to gather a bucket of sticks or go chuck rocks. They get a little bigger I may assign splitting firewood. They don't exactly like it, but it seems to let some of the bad humors out.

I've also noticed with my guys that Monday is probably the worst. That happens to be the day I don't exercise. The rest of the school week the hours of 10:30 to 12:00 are my exercise time. I go out and run. They stay inside and finish their independent work (math problems from their lesson, penmanship, the reading of their book for literature discussion.) When they finish they can come out or stay in as they choose. Often I am almost done with my run by the time they are coming out for their lunch recess, and I go in to cook. So they have almost two full hours of Mom-free time there. I think that helps in some way, although it may be that the boy-free time for me is just as important. I very seldom have bad days on any day other than Monday. Little stuff, yes, but general funk, not so much.

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I wonder if some of the issues just have to do with a push for independence. It seems to me from watching and listening to my guys that they see-saw between wanting to do for themselves and wanting me to do for them. Maybe they are fledging--fluttering around the nest but still gaping for worms. That's what they remind me of, anyway.

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