(cc) I am so weary of visiting a church and not being able to enjoy the service

[lynn]

for the worship music being so loud that it resembles being at a rock concert and have a headache the rest of the day.. Today dd and I visited a church and the first thing I look for is, how loud is it going to be? Todays visit at my neighbors church was so refreshing such a welcoming experience. I actually felt like I was in a church service. My dd loved her SS class with her friend and the whole experience was good. I have been in the church for over 30years and have been trying to find a new church for several years that felt like right. Did I find that church today, I don't know yet but we will be visiting the next few weeks to see how we feel.

[Lara in Colo]

I agree!! I think we have finally settled on a church, but unfortunately, I turned down a lot of churches because I couldn't take the loud music.

Usually, along with the loudness of the music was that a lot of the "background" music, while the pastor was praying or closing up the sermon, would drown out the pastor!!.

 

I would leave with a headache, and feeling like I had been sung AT instead of encouraged to participate in worship.

[gardenmom5]

I grew up exposed to loud music because my brother listened to the stereo cranked up as high as it would go. (It was also the source of my tinnitus.)

years later, my elementary school class had a get-together. after dinner, the place had a band with the volume cranked as high as it would go. I learned something that night.

 

Not only can you NOT hear anyone else speak, you can't hear yourself think. if it's that isolating, I can't honestly understand how anyone would expect to be able to feel/hear the gentle whisperings of the spirit either. (and isn't that part of why we attend church?)

[Desert Rat]

Have you considered wearing earplugs? If you wear your hair down (given that you have longer hair), no one will notice. You can remove them to listen to the sermon, speaking parts, etc. and put them in when the music starts.

I have very sensitive ears. I always wear ear plugs at bowling alleys, concerts, and anywhere I think will be loud. I keep them in my purse.

 

Now, if it's the style of music you dislike, I'm no help.

[In the Rain]

...

Usually, along with the loudness of the music was that a lot of the "background" music, while the pastor was praying or closing up the sermon, would drown out the pastor!!.

...

 

This is one of my pet peeves. Especially if they are playing a tune with words (like Amazing Grace). I find the words to the song running through my head when I am supposed to be praying, or listening to someone else pray! :bored:

[Ellie]

Ah....the seeker-friendly-church movement strikes again. That's a hallmark of that mentality. :glare:

 

I feel your pain. Mr. Ellie and I had a list of things we avoided in potential churches when we moved to Texas, and uber-loud music was one of them.

 

Hope this new church is the right one for you. :grouphug:

[Joker]

Our first visit to our local parish was so peaceful because the music was so different. I also found out my girls didn't know how to follow along in a hymnal. It was something I never thought of until then.

[Ellie]

Our first visit to our local parish was so peaceful because the music was so different. I also found out my girls didn't know how to follow along in a hymnal. It was something I never thought of until then.

 

 

It's one of the things I appreciate about my parish, too. Ok, so far, the music of *any* parish I've visited has been the same way...peaceful, reverent, holy.

[HollyDay]

We are now arriving late to church. If we can time it right, we arrive during the last song.

 

Our praise band is certainly talented. They are gifted musicians who have spent a lot of time learning to play and rehearsing. But, we do not want a concert. We don't want "an experience" of sounds and lights and smoke. The band gets into these long music times when they seem "really into the music." Usually, the folks around us start talking loudly (to be able to hear one another over the music) about something else entirely. A couple weeks ago, it was about their college children bringing laundry home on the weekend. I've heard folks talk about lunch plans, football games, elections, etc during these "worshipful music interludes." It is not what we want on a Sunday morning. I have seen many folks use foamy hearing protectors.

 

We stay because the preaching is pretty good, the youth group wonderful, the bible studies good, and the people friendly. Even though the quality of the music is excellent, it is just not what we want. Prior to our out of state move, our former church had a grammy award winning performing artist as the worship leader. The music was amazing. But again, it was a concert production not a church service.

[Lara in Colo]

I really wish they would bring back books or sheet music!!!

I am so tired of flailing around the notes to a new to me song, because I have only words on a screen!!! I am never sure if I ever actually learn the correct melody to a song.

Bad enough public schools are getting rid of music, but the churches are too!!

[Rebecca VA]

Amen about not wanting to hear a concert! I don't mind listening to an occasional solo performance, but trying to sing hymns while the "music team" up front is drowning everyone else out is over-the-top annoying.

[Melinda in VT]

I'm trying to figure out if I've avoided this phenomena through denominational choice, geography or both.

 

I'm glad you found a church that might be a possibility.

[Ellie]

I really wish they would bring back books or sheet music!!!

 

I am so tired of flailing around the notes to a new to me song, because I have only words on a screen!!! I am never sure if I ever actually learn the correct melody to a song.

Bad enough public schools are getting rid of music, but the churches are too!!

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[LMD]

I really wish they would bring back books or sheet music!!!

I am so tired of flailing around the notes to a new to me song, because I have only words on a screen!!! I am never sure if I ever actually learn the correct melody to a song.

Bad enough public schools are getting rid of music, but the churches are too!!

 

 

Excellent point! I hadn't thought of this but I totally agree!

 

And bring back choirs too please, I haven't heard a choir in church for a looooooooong time *sigh*... maybe I should start one, with all my free time :willy_nilly:

 

Our old church was a mostly older/retired congregation and they had a men's choir - that was awesome! Even during normal services when they were scattered in the congregation, their voices would carry and the whole congregation was lifted, smiling, singing their hearts out. I especially fondly remember the hymn 'crown him with many crowns'. :crying:

[Photo Ninja]

Many, many times I have spent the worship portion of the service in the foyer, waiting for the music to stop before I sit down. I like the style, I like the music, and the worship team is talented. I don't like it so loud that one needs to yell to be heard, that one can't think, and that I get a headache before worship is over because of the volume.

 

How hard is it to grasp the idea that louder is not better? Sometimes the volume is so loud that the vocals are distorted.

 

What is worst is that ushers will ask me to come inside. I politely decline and tell them why I am waiting. Every time they have told me that a lot of people complain about how loud the volume is on the sound system. So if a lot of people mention this problem, why doesn't the staff consider turning down the volume?

[AmyontheFarm]

My husband is one of the sound men at our church. It frustrates him that people think they need the sound so loud they can feel it in their chest. He wants to scream that they are supposed to feel the music moving in their spirits/hearts, not physically blowing them off the stage. If they need to have it that loud, he honestly wonders if they could even "hear" the Spirit talking to them.

 

So, he turns it up because he's ordered to by the music leader and then gets parishioners complaining to him that it's too loud. So, he stands there and agrees and asks them to speak to the music leader. Oh, the vicious cycle. Sometimes I wish I had never married a sound man.

[athena1277]

I opened this thread out of curiosity and now I am very grateful that my church only has congregational accapella (sp?) singing. I go to church to worship, not hear a way too loud concert.

[Ottakee]

This is a problem we are having. We are looking for a church and have gone to one now 3 weeks in a row but the music is so LOUD. Talented people, good songs but LOUD. Honestly that is a big turn off for us but the rest of the church seems like a good fit.

[KungFuPanda]

It makes sense to keep looking if you don't enjoy the type of music played, but if it's simply an issue of volume you may be happier if you carry earplugs in your purse. I started doing this and they've really come in handy. I picked this up backstage from an older, wiser performer. Sometimes we're so close to the speakers or the band that it's too much. Now I bring along the earplugs and just remove them to perform. I've also used them in too-loud movie theatres. It has eliminated volume-related stress from my life.

[Ellie]

My husband is one of the sound men at our church. It frustrates him that people think they need the sound so loud they can feel it in their chest. He wants to scream that they are supposed to feel the music moving in their spirits/hearts, not physically blowing them off the stage. If they need to have it that loud, he honestly wonders if they could even "hear" the Spirit talking to them.

 

So, he turns it up because he's ordered to by the music leader and then gets parishioners complaining to him that it's too loud. So, he stands there and agrees and asks them to speak to the music leader. Oh, the vicious cycle. Sometimes I wish I had never married a sound man.

 

 

Mr. Ellie is also the Sound Guy. No one in the congregation EVER tells him to turn up the music; it's the pastor who does it. :glare:

[8circles]

I really wish they would bring back books or sheet music!!!

I am so tired of flailing around the notes to a new to me song, because I have only words on a screen!!! I am never sure if I ever actually learn the correct melody to a song.

Bad enough public schools are getting rid of music, but the churches are too!!

 

 

YES - New songs would be much easier to learn if I could see the notes instead of just the words. I don't mind the screens except for this.

[UrbanSue]

Just curious, what does (cc) mean in front of this post?

[jewellsmommy]

Just curious, what does (cc) mean in front of this post?

 

Christian Content

[Sparkle]

(((Lynn))). Maybe you are going to the wrong kind of church B) I guarantee if you visit my church you will not have that problem.

 

Urban Sue, cc means "Christian Content" - lets people know before they open the thread.

[JenniferB]

Orthodox Christian worship is the most reverent, holy, peaceful worship I have ever participated in. I believe it truly is worship in Spirit and Truth. There are no instruments or microphones in my parish and the choir sounds like Heaven. The worship services are my favorite thing (if it can be called a thing) about my church. May God bring you to a peaceful place.

[naturally]

Our church is like that - loud music, lights, etc. It's the one of the few things we don't like about it. I've given my concerns to the worship arts pastor and was told it's because of the acoustics of the sanctuary. To me, bad acoustics do not equal "let's turn it up so loud that no one can hear themselves, the people around them, or even the people on stage sing" So in order to fix that, our church is going to be going through construction to overhaul the "worship center" (they don't even call it the sanctuary anymore) to have better sound and theater seating.

What's keeping us there? Their program for the kids on Saturday nights, which is when we can go because of DH's work schedule; and the lead pastor's messages.

I would love to look for a new church but...... so many things but I won't get into that on this thread.

[Chelli]

I opened this thread out of curiosity and now I am very grateful that my church only has congregational accapella (sp?) singing. I go to church to worship, not hear a way too loud concert.

 

Ditto for us as well. I love our worship service with all the members raising their voices in praise to God.

[1bassoon]

Actually, we live about 5 miles down the road from David Platt's church - for a time, we visited and were thinking about joining. But the music? Oy. Just like what ya'll are describing - SO LOUD. When you can't hear yourself sing, what's the point?

 

It was a deal-breaker for my husband and I. His preaching is amazing - really amazing. But the music was just .. . . off-putting.

[Heather in Neverland]

Totally agree.

 

We recently started attending a new church that sings hymns only, in an actual hymn book, to the music of one pianist. It is reverent, worshipful and beautiful.

 

My ds came back from his youth group at our old church recently complaining about the music. He knows as soon as the pastor closes the sermon the musicians will start playing in the background. He calls it "emotionally manipulative music".

 

Just for fun (it made me laugh):

 

 

[happyhomemaker]

I totally understand about the noise. One of my requirements for a church is that I can hear myself sing in the service. I miss hymnals and sheet music as well. It makes me sad that the only harmonizing in church comes from the people leading worship, not the congregation.

 

One other thing I have noticed about churches with loud music is that it is somewhat unclear when the congregation is supposed to sing. The band will just start playing and singing without saying anything to the congregation. When I look around, a few people will be singing but most are still chatting with their neighbors. Coming from a traditional church background, this gradual opening of the service is uncomfortable to me because I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Anyone else experience this?

[ktgrok]

I had no idea this was even a thing. REally really grateful now that the worst I've encountered is a very off tune choir. But at least it was a choir, and not overly loud. I've never been to a church that didn't have hymnals and choirs. ever.

[milovany]

I'm sitting here after church listening to our kids and the reader practicing for the service next week. I'll add a clip to a 10-second sample when I get home. Heavenly and I'm so glad this is the type of music sung for the entirety of the services (the whole service is sung like this, or chanted). I don't miss the rock concert at. all.

[Lady Marmalade]

That's funny, because I'm the exact opposite. If I walk into a church service and the music is NOT rocking, I will promptly turn around and never look back. But I'm a drummer, I like it loud. :)

 

Fortunately, we've found a home church that fits my family perfectly. But church hunting was definitely a scary thing when we had to do it.

[BigMamaBird]

I hope this church works out for you! Church hunting can be difficult.

[Critterfixer]

Ditto here. Not only do I not care for the music choices, I cannot take the volume! I also detest not having a hymnal. I grew up singing parts in our family and in our church and later in choir. I don't do soprano. It's the alto line or I can't sing it. It is like having my vocal chords cut to not have the music in front of me. I can guess at the alto part and come up with something, but it really is depressing.

I heard once that when people blast you with sound it is a very dominant, pushy kind of behavior, forcing you into their world of sound. It isn't inviting at all to me.

 

Part of the reason I am really looking hard at the Catholic faith now after being raised more or less Baptist is because I've got the sense that the whole environment is more reverent and peaceful. I'm sure the Catholics here can confirm or deny that!

[Critterfixer]

Loud noises have always felt very physical to me. I went to one rock concert ever as a teen. What I remember most was feeling crushed from all sides by the almost visible noise. The second thing I remember was not being able to keep time clapping, again, because of the overwhelming noise.

One summer my mother asked to take the boys to VBS, and they had a little thing for the parents at the end of the week. I was literally curled up in the pew, in the fetal position with my hands clapped over my ears it was so, SO loud! I did not allow them to attend this summer. I don't remember VBS being that loud when I was a kid....

[KungFuPanda]

Ditto here. Not only do I not care for the music choices, I cannot take the volume! I also detest not having a hymnal. I grew up singing parts in our family and in our church and later in choir. I don't do soprano. It's the alto line or I can't sing it. It is like having my vocal chords cut to not have the music in front of me. I can guess at the alto part and come up with something, but it really is depressing.

I heard once that when people blast you with sound it is a very dominant, pushy kind of behavior, forcing you into their world of sound. It isn't inviting at all to me.

 

Part of the reason I am really looking hard at the Catholic faith now after being raised more or less Baptist is because I've got the sense that the whole environment is more reverent and peaceful. I'm sure the Catholics here can confirm or deny that!

 

You definitely won't get an amateur rocker vibe from a catholic service :-) It's old school like that.

[mom2scouts]

I attend a church with a worship band and it's one of the reasons we stayed at that church! My dh and I both grew up in a mainline denomination with traditional hymn singing and attended a similar church for the first 13 years of our marriage. I love the old hymns, but the organ music and hymn singing was so quiet, slow and dull that we seriously wondered if anyone in the congregation was even awake or alive.

[Faithr]

I went to an Anglican Use Catholic mass this evening and there was no music at all. Just the scripture readings, reverent prayer and communion.

[milovany]

The video I mentioned about didn't turn out very well, but it's like

. This is a typical Orthodox service (this one is evening vespers). It's so quiet and peaceful. It's a wonderful way to end the day. Our Divine Liturgy on Sunday mornings is similar, although there's more going on during a Liturgy so there's a little more movement with doors opening, priests censing, deacons going up front to chant the prayers, etc.

[magnificent_baby]

We are lucky I guess, we have beautiful and contemporary music in our service, along with a live worship band. It is very moving. The volume has never crossed my mind. I love our worship music, it's one big reason we joined. Though I occasionally miss old hymnals, the words in the contemporary music is more fitting to me than old hymns.

 

If I was a visitor though, and enjoyed the service but the volume was too loud I would not hesitate to write a note letting them know your thoughts and feelings.

[Heather in Neverland]

I also love hymns because the words are so powerful and God-focused. It seems like so many contemporary songs these days are man-focused. It's all me, me, me. If you could play the song on a secular music station and no one would be able to tell that it is actually a song about God... That's a problem, in my opinion.

[Rhonda in TX]

I also don't like the rock band experience at church. DH is in a rock band with friends, so it's not about the volume, or the style. It's about what we feel is appropriate for worship. We have accapella singing (another alto here who really needs the notes, please) in our church, but we have also been to a Lutheran service with an organ and orchestra that we loved.

[momofkhm]

Another sound man in the house. But at our church we do keep it low. I've learned from the percussionist at church that it is possible to play drums softly! That they can enhance the music rather than take it over. I think our praise team director does it right - I can tell when dh is playing his trumpet because there is something different about the quality of the music, not that I can hear trumpet notes. (Dh does go back and forth from the sound booth to the front to play trumpet.) Of course, it could be that her degree is in music accompaniment, not music performance. (I've sung with someone who was performance oriented. The piano sounded beautiful, but it was so hard to follow the melody!) Now I will say there are times that some of us look at each other and think, we need to get this woman (praise team director) a pipe organ. :laugh: The director goes back and forth between a piano and an organ. Piano for praise and organ for hymns. I'd love to hear her play A Mighty Fortress on a pipe organ.

[Ottakee]

I like this blog post on church music http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/04/my-7-pet-peeves-about-worship-music-in-church/

[TravelingChris]

WE have two services in our church- one is casual music and the other is hymns and choral and instrumental works. We go to the latter and it is not too loud.

[Cinder]

I've had the same experience as the OP. When we were looking for a church we found some were just too loud for us to enjoy the worship. We visited one church that reminded me of a Point of Grace concert that I'd been to. No kidding. Four fab smiling women singing, then stepping this way or that on stage. It was obviously choreographed and it felt fake to me. Another church was so loud and rock-concert-ish to be uncomfortable. And we were already sitting all the way in back. There are several more that were like this.

 

I like the way it is at our current church. It's a contemporary style--piano, guitars, drums, sometimes brass and saxophone and tambourine. We sing contemporary songs as well as hymns. But the focus is not on the worship team which I think helps reduce the concert feeling. And it's not overly loud; that helps too. The doo-wop girls are at the back of the stage, the musicians are at both sides. Center stage is empty. We do have the words projected on screens, and I do find I have trouble with new songs because there isn't music to follow. (Even though I don't read music anymore, just seeing the notes going up or down and the length of the beat gives me an idea of how it should go.)

 

:grouphug: Hope you find a suitable church!

[tabinfl]

WE have two services in our church- one is casual music and the other is hymns and choral and instrumental works. We go to the latter and it is not too loud.

 

 

I go to a Presbyterian church with both "traditional" and "contemporary" services. The traditional service has hymns, several prayers, choir anthem, scripture reading, and sermon. Sometimes there will be a solo, children's choir, or some other extras. The contemporary service is mostly praise band (with the words up on the screen), with a couple of prayers & sermon.

 

Since I grew up in a Presbyterian church in a time & place when contemporary worship was relatively unheard of, the traditional service is the one that feels right to me. When I go to the other I enjoy it, but it somehow doesn't feel like I've been to church, if that makes sense.The contemporary service does seem a lot more popular among the younger church members -- I'm sometimes torn on which to attend because there are a lot more families with young children in the contemporary service, but I find the traditional worship I'm used to so much more fulfilling spiritually.

[brehon]

I feel very lucky. I attend a church with three different choirs: the Schola Cantorum (which I sing in), the Latin Mass choir, and the Spanish Mass choir. There is a Mass with a guitar and cantor; but, the guitarist is classically trained. No out of tune instruments or singers (except occasionally and always unintentionally ;) ). Oh, we have "the mighty Rogers" - the "organ" we're using until we can afford to buy and install a true pipe organ. There are hymnals in every pew. No projectors or screens anywhere.

 

I remember the first Mass the Bishop presided over after being installed. It was in Lent and we always chant Mass X during Lent. I remember the Bishop looking completely surprised and pleased when the congregation (and it was a packed house, as it were) started chanting with the Schola at the appropriate place and correctly. (If you don't understand how chant is sung, the cantor starts and the choir joins in. In some chants there is a section where the cantor again sings solo before the choir comes back in. Then there's how to chant. It can be surprisingly difficult to sing it well.) It was beautiful. What makes it really amazing is that the hymnals used during the Mass the Schola sings don't have the ancient chants in them.

 

It's a wondrous thing when the congregation and choir chants (or sings hymns) together.

[Critterfixer]

I was thinking about this thread last night and hoping that I don't sound like someone who thinks all contemporary services are irreverent. Obviously many, many people appreciate worship being more upbeat and modern. So I tried to think of the reason (aside from my own sound sensitivities) that I find the contemporary worship experience to be so disconcerting to me.

 

Do you think that some of us who don't care for the music just have a different expectation of worship? I'm probably guilty of this. I want to reflect when I go to church. I like small numbers of people, not large groups. I'd love it like anything if at certain places in reflection I could quietly kneel down and pray without everyone around me wanting to touch me or comfort me or wonder what in heaven's name "she was convicted of!" Sometime I just want to talk to GOD, people! And when I sing, I want to be able to sing at my best, with clarity, with a full experience of the words, and the comfort of knowing those words in my heart when I sing, reading them on the page in front of me like reading a book I know by heart and love.

I can't do that in today's contemporary service. And it really bugs me!

 

But I think, just think mind, that the people who enjoy the contemporary service have a different desire when they go to worship. I think they feel that worshiping should be more like a celebration. And celebrations have louder music, lots of excitement, new things to sing and a lot of joyful noise. And I have to say, they have a point.

 

I actually wonder, if there were services that I could go to, very small ones, no organized music, just a large, quiet church with a alter where I could go read, pray and sing if I might not be able to enter into the celebration spirit on Sunday with a little less, well, resentment.