Dmmetler Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 For the last couple of weeks, I've just plain been feeling rotten. Not sick in a way that I could justify going to bed for a few days, but tired, drained, and just not ready to deal with it-and as a result, school for DD has been "Go do something"-basically, DD's done BrainPop, World Education Games practice, Khan Academy, etc. And I figured that was OK. Except her attitude was getting worse and worse. Tuesday, the meltdowns, the getting frustrated over everything, the "I don't do anything right", and all that started. Thursday I ended up snapping at her, and, somewhere in my tirade, I asked where the heck she was getting THAT idea from. Well, yesterday morning, she ASKED if we could go back to the books because "when something's wrong, at least you're there to explain it". I don't think she touched the computer yesterday at all-not even for fun stuff. Basically, to make life easier for me, I'd taken a 2E kid and given her several weeks of school where the typical feedback is "You got 8/10" or the infamous red X (DD told me that she started dreaming about red Xs coming to get her), and took away the positive. I tend to focus on the positive first, and to deemphasize the negative because I KNOW DD doesn't handle that well. And then I wondered why she was melting down and getting so frustrated and unable to, say, handle her dance teacher critiquing her, or losing in a family game! Anyway, she was much better and much happier yesterday, even with just one day of getting back to the regular schedule. The funny thing was that she was doing MUCH harder work on the regular stuff than she was on the computer-but I guess it's completely the difference between "Red X" or "Moby shaking his head 'no" and mommy saying "Let's look at #3 together" (or, sometimes, "Let's look at the answer key and work backwards, because I'm not entirely sure what they want here, either!") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 You are NOT the worst mom. You recognized the problem and then took steps to solve it. Don't be too hard on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geodob Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Rather it's an affirmation, where after withdrawing your support, she has recognized the value of your support. Though you also mentioned the 'red X', where very recently I read a study into the use of it by teachers? As compared to teachers that used a blue or black X. Where they found that most students had a negative response to red X's and felt like they were being shouted at. Also that teachers that used red X's, were most often disliked by teachers. But students had a very different response to blue/black X's, which they didn't feel as hostile. Rather that it had noted a mistake, to be corrected. Also they generally liked teachers that used blue/black X's. Where it is a seemingly trivial thing, but does in fact make quite a difference to students attitude to their errors, and to their teachers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 I know it was a big deal when I did my teacher training in the 1990s-that you should NEVER use red, because red is hostile-you should use some other color. I did a lot of my grading in metallic gel pens ;). I don't actually grade DD's written work, so it's really only on the computer that she gets any sort of grading-and I believe only the Mathletics engine uses the Red X. Maybe I should send them a change request and ask them to switch to purple or blue?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 For best use of a red pen, the award goes to... drat. I couldn't get my oscar picture to show up on the post. Anyway, I feel like I deserve the nomination too for threatening use of The Red Pen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mukmuk Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I don't want to win this one but for the last 2 weeks or so, I *forgot* that ds has 2e issues and took away privileges for the weekend. And why? Rigidity, stuck on a point of view for, of all things, his best subject, math, and then it affected every other subject. It was a confluence of so many things happening, and I ought to have been more patient. We had a chat about this and ds thinks yeah, we're both culpable. The positive is that ds does seem to be less and less 2e as the year progresses, but ack, I get used to the idea too quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 To avoid the red X. I let the kids select whatever colour marker they would like me to use. Their math books are rainbow coloured! You are not a bad mom. People get sick, then they get well. Life goes on and lessons get taught. Don't be so hard on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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